Chapter 6 - Ruby
I can't believe I just invited him inside.
The words left my mouth before my brain could stop them, and now Chaos is following me up the porch steps, his heavy boots thudding against the worn wood. My heart is pounding in my chest as I fumble with my keys, his presence behind me making my hands shake.
What am I doing? I don't invite men into my home. I don't trust men period. Every man in my life has either abandoned me, betrayed me, or tried to control me.
But Chaos isn't like them, a quiet voice inside my head whispers. He's different.
Is he? Or am I just desperately lonely and latching onto the first person who's shown me kindness?
The lock finally turns and I push the door open, stepping into the small living room that still doesn't feel like home.
Moving boxes are stacked against one wall, half-unpacked.
The furniture came with the rental—a sagging couch, a scratched coffee table, and a lamp with a crooked shade.
Everything about this place screams temporary, which is exactly what it is.
I've learned not to get comfortable anywhere.
"Sorry about the mess," I say, even though the place is relatively clean. Just sparse and sad-looking.
"This isn't a mess." Chaos closes the door behind him, his eyes scanning the room. "You should see my place. Barely have furniture."
I carry Liam toward the small bedroom we share, laying him gently in the crib I bought secondhand. He doesn't wake, just shifts and sighs, his thumb finding his mouth. My heart swells watching him. No matter how hard everything else is, I have him. That's enough.
When I return to the living room, Chaos is still standing by the door, looking uncomfortable. Like he's not sure if he should sit or leave or what to do with his hands. It's oddly endearing, seeing this big, tattooed biker looking uncertain.
"You can sit," I tell him, gesturing to the couch. "I'll make the coffee."
He lowers himself onto the couch like he's worried he might break it. I escape into the kitchen, really just a corner of the living room with a stove, sink, and mini fridge, and busy myself with making coffee.
My hands shake as I measure grounds into the ancient coffee maker. What am I doing? I don't know how to do this. I don’t know how to have a friend over for coffee like a normal person. The last two years have been spent running, hiding, keeping everyone at arm's length.
The coffee maker gurgles to life, filling the small space with the rich scent of brewing coffee. I pull down two mugs. Mismatched ones I found at a thrift store and try to calm my racing thoughts.
"So," Chaos says from the couch, his voice startling me. "How long you planning to stay in Blackwater Falls?"
I don't know how to answer because I never plan to stay anywhere. I plan to run the moment my family finds me, the moment things get too dangerous.
"I don't know," I say honestly, leaning against the counter. "I never know. Depends on how long it takes before they find me again."
"They found you pretty quick this time."
"Yeah." I wrap my arms around myself. "I think Marcus hired someone to track me. Every time I move, they show up within weeks. Sometimes days."
Chaos's jaw tightens. "That's not right. You shouldn't have to live like that."
"I don't have a choice." The words come out bitter. "They have money for lawyers and private investigators. I have nothing. If I stay in one place too long, they'll build a case against me. Prove I'm unstable because I keep moving. Use it to take Liam."
"They can't just take him. You're his mother."
"They can try." I pour coffee into both mugs, my hands steadier now. "And with enough money and the right lawyers, they might succeed. So, I run. It's the only thing I know how to do anymore."
I carry the mugs over, handing one to Chaos before settling on the opposite end of the couch. He takes a sip, then makes a face.
"What?" I ask, defensive.
"Nothing. Just strong." But there's a smile tugging at his lips. "I like it strong."
We sit in silence for a moment, sipping coffee. It should be awkward. We barely know each other, but somehow it's not. It's almost comfortable, which terrifies me more than anything.
"Can I ask you something?" I venture.
"Shoot."
"The Savage Riders. What's that like? Being in a motorcycle club?" I've never met anyone in an MC before. My only reference is movies and TV shows, which probably aren't accurate.
Chaos considers the question, rolling his coffee mug between his palms. "It's family. Real family, not the kind you're born into but the kind you choose. We protect each other, look out for each other. Brotherhood means something."
"Is it dangerous?"
"Can be." He doesn't sugarcoat it. "We've had trouble with rival clubs. Had to fight to protect what's ours. But we're working on going fully legitimate now. King's making sure of it."
"King. That's your president, right??" I remember him mentioning the name.
"Yeah. Best man I've ever known." There's genuine respect in Chaos's voice. "He built the club from nothing after he got out of the military. Gave guys like me a place to belong when we had nowhere else to go."
"Guys like you?"
He takes another sip of coffee, and I can see him choosing his words. "Guys who don't fit anywhere else. Who are too rough around the edges for normal life. Who need purpose and structure and brothers who understand what it's like to be broken."
"You don't seem broken to me."
His laugh is harsh. "That's because you don't know me yet."
Yet. Like he's planning on me knowing him.
"Tell me about the others," I say, wanting to know more about this world he's part of. "The other members."
"There's seven full members plus me, two other prospects and everyone’s girlfriend. King and Luna, they're solid. Then there's Tank and Amelia. Tank's the VP, scary as hell but completely gone for his woman."
"Amelia's in a similar situation to you," he continues. "She was running from an abusive ex. Tank protected her, helped her stay safe. They've got her daughter Anna living with them."
My heart squeezes. "She was running too?"
"Yeah. And she made it. She's safe now. Has a whole family who's got her back." He meets my eyes. "Same thing can happen for you, Ruby. You don't have to keep running forever."
I want to believe him. God, I want to believe him so badly. But hope is dangerous. Hope makes you let your guard down.
"Who else?" I ask, changing the subject.
"Beast and Jenny, that's Tank's sister. Steel and Holly. Rage and Claire. Torch and Sidney. Shadow and Rachel." He ticks them off on his fingers. "All of them found their women in crazy circumstances. All of them made it work."
"That's a lot of couples."
"Yeah. Sometimes I feel like the only single guy left." He grins. "Well, me and Rookie. He's the other prospect."
"Does that bother you? Being single?"
The grin fades. "No. Relationships aren't for me. I've seen what they do to people. My parents destroyed each other with their marriage. I won't do that to someone else."
There's pain underneath those words, hidden but still there. I recognize it because I carry the same pain.
"I don't believe in relationships either," I admit. "Not anymore. Marcus ruined that for me."
"He's an idiot." Chaos says it with such conviction that I almost smile. "Any man who walks away from his kid is a coward and a fool."
"He said I trapped him. That I got pregnant on purpose to keep him."
"Bullshit. Takes two people to make a baby. He's just trying to avoid responsibility."
I take a sip of coffee, letting his words sink in. It's not the first time someone's said Marcus was wrong, but it's the first time I've actually believed it. Maybe because Chaos doesn't know Marcus, doesn't have any reason to defend me except that he thinks I deserve defending.
"What about you?" I ask. "Have you ever been in a relationship?"
"No. One-night stands, sure. But nothing serious." He shifts on the couch. "Never wanted the complications. Plus, I used to move around a lot. Hard to build something when you're never in one place."
"But you've been in Blackwater Falls for a while now, right?"
"Eight months. Longest I've stayed anywhere since I left home." He looks around the small living room. "It's a good town. Good people. King runs the club right, keeps us out of trouble while still being there for people who need help."
"Like me."
"Like you." His brown eyes lock on mine. "And anyone else who needs it. That's what we do."
The intensity in his gaze makes my pulse quicken. I look away, focusing on my coffee mug. This is dangerous territory. I can't afford to feel things for this man. Can't afford to feel things for anyone.
"You hungry?" The question bursts out of me, desperate to break the tension. "I could make something. It won't be fancy, but—"
"You don't have to feed me, Ruby."
"I know. But you walked me home, and you're drinking my terrible coffee, and I want to."
The truth is I'm lonely. So desperately lonely. And having him here, having someone to talk to who isn't two years old, feels like water after years in the desert.
"Okay," he says. "What're you making?"
"Grilled cheese? And tomato soup from a can?"
"Sounds perfect."
I stand and move back to the kitchen area, pulling out the ingredients. My hands are steadier now. Chaos stays on the couch, watching me work.
"You like to cook?" he asks.
"I like taking care of people." I butter bread and lay it in the pan. "Even if it's just simple stuff. My grandmother used to say that feeding someone is an act of love."
"Smart woman."
"She was." The grief is still there, even years later. "She died when I was sixteen. Cancer. After that, it was just me and my parents."
"And they weren't enough."
It's not a question. He already knows the answer.
"No," I say. "They loved their reputation more than they loved me. When I got pregnant, all they cared about was what people would think. What the neighbors would say. How embarrassing it was to have an unwed pregnant daughter."
The grilled cheese sizzles in the pan. I flip it, watching the golden brown bread.
"Their loss," Chaos says, "You're worth more than their stupid pride."
Tears prick my eyes. I blink them away quickly, focusing on the food. "You keep saying things like that."
"Because they're true."
I pour the soup into a pot, stirring it as it heats. "You don't really know me, Chaos. I could be a terrible person."
"Are you?"
"No. But—"
"Then stop arguing with me." There's warmth in his voice now, almost teasing. "Just accept the compliment."
"I'm not good at that."
"Yeah, I noticed."
I plate the sandwiches and pour the soup into bowls, carrying everything over to the coffee table since I don't have a dining table. Chaos shifts to make room, and we eat together.
The food is simple but satisfying. I watch Chaos eat, the way he takes big bites and makes appreciative sounds. When was the last time I cooked for someone other than Liam? When was the last time I shared a meal with another adult?
"This is good," Chaos says around a mouthful of grilled cheese. "Really good."
"It's just grilled cheese."
"Best grilled cheese I've had in months." He grins at me. "Way better than the shit I make."
"What do you usually eat?"
"Whatever's easiest. Frozen dinners. Takeout. Sometimes I'll grill a steak if I'm feeling ambitious." He shrugs. "I can cook, I just don't bother when it's only me."
"You should come over for dinner sometime. A real dinner." The words are out before I can stop them. "I mean, if you want. I cook for Liam anyway, and it's easy to make extra—"
"I'd like that." His expression softens. "I'd really like that."