Chapter Ten
What to do? What to do?
I paced back and forth. Was it me? Did I do this to myself?
Nah. Why would I? I thought about the moment Nick hypnotized me.
All the memories were rushing back, and I remembered feeling an intense panic take over my whole being.
Whoever I was when I was Ryan, she . . .
I . . . wanted to protect the innocent “Alexa version” of myself. I didn’t know how else to explain it.
I shook my head. No. I wanted to be free in the moment. Didn’t I? Ah crap! What if these were all excuses, and I had, in fact, failed?
Did I truly resist when Nick tried to help, or was I hopeless?
If it was my own doing to deny him opening the door to my life, then maybe .
. . just maybe . . . I could get my memory on my own.
I’d still need his guidance, but for the first time, I truly felt ready.
I had to stop doing this to myself . . . and to them.
And although I feared it, I also felt hope. It was Alexa’s turn to let Ryan free.
“Why so lost in thought?”
I turned to see Kevin walking toward me with two glasses of wine in hand. “I’m not sure what to do.”
“About?” He handed me a glass and took a sip from his.
“Annie was being mean to me earlier.”
He frowned. “Annie? Our Annie . . . mean?”
“Yes. Her.”
“Well, what did you do?”
“Why must it be something I did?”
He laughed. “It’s Annie. If she was mean, you must have deserved it.”
“Hey!” I put my finger on his shoulder and sent a wave of tremors into him. His shoulder trembled under my touch for a second, and his eyes widened.
“What was that?”
“I don’t know. I just felt I could shock you and did it without thinking. Did I hurt you?”
“Girl, I manipulate electricity! I kinda liked it.” He raised an eyebrow. “Do it again.”
I blushed. “Anyway, Annie is getting impatient with my lack of memory.”
“Ah! Well, I mean, it would be better if you were . . . you again.”
“No, I agree. But since hypnosis failed, maybe I should try healing myself? You think Nick can show me how?”
“That’s more Jenny’s thing. She’d be better at it. Unfortunately, we can’t get to her for the time being.”
“If only we had a teleporter at our disposal.”
“I think it’s best to keep our distance for her safety.”
“You’re right.” I sighed. “But Nick might be able to help?”
“He might. There was a time they all trained to use each other’s powers, but they found it draining. It’s just better when we focus on our own strengths.”
“Were they weaker?”
“Yes, but Annie was there to boost them up each time. Honestly, without her, it’s tough to last long. We’re not like Jay. It’s just best doing what comes naturally to us.”
“Got it,” I said, feeling my shoulders slump.
“No, don’t lose hope. Nick was the best one at channeling Jenny’s powers. I think he still keeps up with practicing other abilities, the show-off. Just ask him to help you.”
“Okay. I need a good night’s rest first, then I’ll talk to him.”
He took my wine and put both glasses down on the small table.
Holding both my hands, he pulled me slightly closer and stared into my eyes.
“I can’t make you any promises about the future and our safety, but I can promise you that no matter what, I’ll be by your side.
You’re not alone. Whether you get to restore your memory or not, I’m here for you. I only need to ask you one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“If the moment comes, and we need to leave the rest of them behind, promise you’ll trust me and come with me. Okay?”
“Wha—I don’t understand. Why would we need to leave them?”
“Look at me. This is going to sound harsh, but to take a page out of Annie’s book . . . they’re all here for you. But they don’t need to be on the run. I need you to consider that they might be safer if we weren’t with them.”
I pulled away and held onto the rail. My grip tightened as I realized the truth in his words. “We could say the same for you.”
“We could. But we wouldn’t.”
“Yes, w—”
“No, listen to me. You and me, Alexa, we’re a unit.”
I shook my head. “If it comes to it and you can take them to safety, please promise me you’ll choose them over me.” I turned to look at him. I could see the struggle in his eyes. “Please, Kevin.”
“I’ll talk to Jay. We’ll make sure he keeps teleportation as his primary power. We’ll split up if needed.”
“But even then . . . Kevin, you could stay with your family. Jay can get me away and he can help keep me safe.”
“It’s always been you and me, Ry—Alexa. You’d do the same for me.” He picked up his wine and finished the whole thing in one shot. “Unless you think you’d rather be with Jay. Is that it? You prefer him over me?”
I didn’t see his face, but his hurt attacked my heart. I had to clear my throat a couple of times before I could talk. “It’s not about choosing him over you, Kevin.”
“Then what is it? I don’t get it,” he said softly.
I didn’t know how to word it, so I grabbed my wine and took a sip, thinking of the best way to explain it. “Believe it or not, I’m actually choosing you.”
His brows creased. “What? That’s not—”
“I’m choosing to keep YOU safe. I don’t want to be the reason you’re separated from those you love.”
“Right. Then, in that case, none of us would ever be apart. But at some point, they’ll need to care for their number one, and that’s Jack.
Anali and Antonio have each other. Dr. Ryder, well, I imagine he’d stay with Nick and Annie.
They’re his best shot back to Gabby. As far as my number one, Ryan .
. . Alexa . . . Rylexa, whatever name you want, that’s you. ”
He left me alone on the balcony, and I felt as empty as the glass he’d left at the edge of the table. And just as frail. We could both fall and shatter in seconds.
Training began early the following day.
We had a hardcore boot camp master in Nick, and he took absolutely no pity on us. Anali and Antonio were learning defensive moves with Annie, while Jay and Kevin could go on forever with hand-to-hand combat. I was captivated staring at them when Nick knocked me off balance, and I fell on my butt.
“Hey! That was uncalled for!”
“We’re training,” Nick said in such a matter-of-fact way that I wondered if we’d ever get along. His eyes were dark and feral as he was lost in concentration.
“Why are you being so violent?” I got up, fearing a little for my life. I’d never seen him like this . . . that I could remember, anyway.
“You’re the person in the most danger here. You need to be at the top of your game. I’m the best person to train you.” He pointed to Kevin and Annie. “They’d take it easy on you. They care too much.”
That took me aback. “You don’t?”
He smiled. “This is how I show it.”
“What?”
“My way of showing you that I care is to prepare you with real-life precision. I won’t treat you like a doll, Alexa. And when the time comes, you’ll appreciate it the most.”
“Okay. Before we continue, I wondered if we could talk about getting my memory back.”
“The schedule is set. When it’s training time, it’s training time.”
“Um, yes, but—”
“In position. We talk after,” he said, swiftly dropping to the ground in a motion that nearly knocked my feet out from under me.
I jumped in time and smiled. “Oh no, mister. Not this time.”
After a couple of rough hours of getting my ass kicked, my muscle memory activated, and I remembered some moves. My reflexes were getting better, but mostly I could sense his next moves and was able to defend myself that way. It gave me the upper hand.
I sat staring at the various groups while stretching my body in all manners.
As sore as I was, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of training.
Spending time with each one of them gave me a different perspective on defensive and offensive approaches.
I wanted to work on my powers as well, but we’d been waiting on Dr. Ryder to give us the go-ahead.
He had been very busy, that’s for sure. He’d converted his bedroom into a makeshift lab with a lounge chair as his bed.
Kevin had gotten him everything he needed to perform basic tests, but all his notebooks and two different laptops were all he’d packed, along with a couple of lab coats.
His only personal item was a picture that was stuck in my heart.
Because of our remote location, our TV never functioned properly, as the antenna or cable frequently glitched.
Nevertheless, we were aware from the supply runs that the search for me was increasing.
Actually, the search for everyone was increasing.
A fact that kept sending flashes of Dr. Ryder’s picture to my mind. Over and over again.
In the frame, a big Christmas tree seemed to fade behind a happy family.
A younger Dr. Ryder stood with his arm around a woman who looked a lot like Gabby, but with brown eyes.
In front of them, two little girls stood holding hands.
All of them were smiling, with eyes twinkling in absolute delight.
All oblivious to the fact that only two of them would make it this far.
I tried to ignore the lump in my throat as I turned to study my companions.
One glance took in the happy parents with their baby, the brother and sister who’d finally found each other after many years, and the two boys innocently enjoying a beer outside.
I was grateful for that, and I knew none of them deserved to share Dr. Ryder’s fate.
They should not, could not, lose each other.
Even Jay. As new as he was to the group, he belonged with them.
I knew it in my gut. So the decision I made had actually been easier than I would’ve thought.
If the moment came, I’d do the right thing.
I’d walk away from my friends and run off alone.
After dinner, Nick asked me to go for a walk along the river. He had a flashlight that kept flickering. It wasn’t too dark yet, but that still made me nervous—unsure if I feared the unknown lurking in the trees, or the echo of it in my mind.
“So you couldn’t have changed the battery on that thing?” I asked.