Chapter Ten #2
“Kevin had it last. He must have been practicing his powers and wore it out.”
“Ah . . . well, I guess I can charge it back up.”
Nick stopped, turned it off and said, “Or we do this.”
A ball of fire flared into existence, hovering above his open palm and casting an orange-red glow on his face. It was bright enough that I could see him put the flashlight away before lighting a flame in his other hand.
“That’s really awesome, but maybe watch the trees. We don’t want you to light them on fire.”
He dimmed the fire in his right hand and put the other one out. As there was still some daylight remaining above us, we needed little of it. “Don’t worry. I know how to control my fireballs. Now, let’s get closer to the water, and we’ll work on getting back your memories.”
We walked in silence for a while. It almost felt like the trees were hugging us in a welcoming way until a natural break served as a guide toward the river.
As we reached it, Nick bent down to run his free hand through the water. “Come! Stoop and put your hand in. Concentrate on the energy and current flowing.”
I did as he asked and was shocked at how warm the water was. “Wow, I thought for sure it would be freezing.”
“The water is cold.” He laughed. “But the energy you’re connecting with isn’t.”
I closed my eyes. The gentle pulses, weaving through my fingers as dictated by the stream, steeped the purest energy into my very bones.
“It feels magical. Energizing.”
“If you can link to it, and to everything that surrounds you, you’ll have a better chance of controlling your powers. To sense, heal, and amplify. But most importantly, it will help with your memory.”
I opened my eyes and was mesmerized by the sensual dance of my purple light with the water as they intertwined around my fingers. I turned to look at him. I needed to pay attention to his every word. “How?”
“Water is healing. You’re a healer. It has different properties of energy flowing through it .
. . life, death, past, future, and electricity.
Plus, it’s therapeutic. Take your time and feel it.
Sit. Concentrate. Imagine the memories flowing back as you feel the water flowing through your fingers.
” He leaned closer. “Keep looking at me.”
His eyes were so much like Kevin’s, but hardened by life, and . . . well, definitely more mature. But kind. His pupils widened, and I felt it pulling me into a deep abyss. This time, I did not hesitate. Neither did he.
“You are ready,” he whispered.
If your life was a lie, but it was a happy one, did it matter if it was not real? Why wouldn’t one choose happy bliss instead of the truth?
Did I want to continue in this alternate reality, or did I have to face the consequences of my actions?
I didn’t want to lie to them or to myself anymore.
Truth be told . . . the guilt was so deep that I felt I could learn to live with the lie.
But was living in deception the escape I truly sought?
Or was it merely a temporary refuge from the relentless storm of reality, one that threatened to engulf me once again?
I could force the water to infuse a different set of memories. I could send all of mine right back and watch them flow away. Like I did the first time Nick unlocked my mind. I could. I really could.
“Let it all come to you. Face it. You’re strong enough to handle anything; you just have to believe it.”
I nodded and he left me alone to embrace my truth. It wasn’t long after I put my fingers back in the water that I could see it all flashing by. The second I did, it all hit me, and I was so ashamed and grateful for my friends at the same time. The tears flowed just as freely as the water did.
I felt the need to take a moment to myself and gather my composure before returning.
After I washed my face, the cool breeze hit my skin as I stood up.
Nick was sitting on a rock nearby. He’d made a small bonfire and was making the flames dance.
He heard me coming and stood up with his arms stretched out.
I ran straight into them. “I’m so sorry, Nick. God, it’s so good to be here with you guys.”
“You didn’t forget the past few weeks, did you?”
“No, don’t be silly. It’s weird, but so good to actually know everything, you know?”
“I’m sure it is. We’ve missed you. Come sit down for a while longer.”
I was grateful for the offer. I sat studying him.
He’d gotten older somehow. I knew it hadn’t been that long, but the stress of it all.
“My God, I can’t believe Derek is gone. And Jenny .
. . I don’t know. I had no other way to help everyone.
I didn’t know all their plans. You have to believe me.
I’d have done anything and everything I could to help. ”
“We know, Ryan. We know. Or do you still prefer Alexa?”
Sitting with a little branch, I played with the flames, watching them flicker and glow. “I don’t mind either one.”
“Hey, I have a question, if you don’t mind. I promise, I trust you. I’m still curious.”
“What is it?”
“Jay. Who is he? And why didn’t you ever mention him before?”
“Oh!” I laughed. “I’m surprised Kevin didn’t actually kill him . . . Oh my God, Kevin! I don’t know how to face him.”
As the fire crackled, I dropped the branch in a panic.
I watched it plunge into the flames, as shame crept over me, intensifying with each passing moment.
Not because I’d stripped Kevin of his powers, but because he was fully aware of my feelings for him.
Oh, crap. That’s going to be mortifying.
Unless I just behaved oblivious to it all. Could I do that?
“Don’t worry about Kevin. You two will be fine.” Nick waved his hand impatiently. “Tell me about Jay.”
“Right.” I nodded. “It’s like we said. We really did meet a while back and I’d been training him on the side. I tried to get him to leave the other group. He was afraid of joining the Luminaries since he said no one would trust a rebel, but you know, he’s a goof. He’s one of the good ones, truly.”
“He said he told you about the plans to paralyze us and kill us all?”
“Ah, kind of? We both heard different pieces of their plan. Me from Mom and Jay from others. He helped me come up with a way to help save you guys. I’d wanted to prepare you, but Kevin kicked me out.
Then everyone thought I was a rebel, so it was hard to get close for more power-stripping injections, or to even get any of you to listen. ”
“You didn’t even try.”
“Why would I? You would have locked me up.”
“Yes, we would have locked you up, but we would have listened.”
“Then their plans would have changed,” I pointed out. “I’d have no credibility if that happened. You’d all think I was lying. But worse, I wouldn’t have been able to save you.”
“True. Although, Ryan, a lot of our friends died.”
“It was all so fast.” I stifled my sobs and forced the words out.
“We didn’t have enough information. As far as we knew, only our teams were targets.
Gabby’s fake mom—I forgot her name, Madelyn?
I don’t think she got any information out to them with your hypnosis blocker, though.
Only the location trackers. Otherwise, they’d know your identities and whatnot. ”
“How would they know which team to focus on?”
“My core groups. Yours and mine since we often worked together. They knew I was part of the elite Luminary agents, and— I don’t know? Maybe part of it was to test my loyalty to their cause? Either way, they needed to take out the strongest.”
“So you shared that much with them, at least. That you were part of the elite.”
“No. They knew I’d be a part of it. It’s why they sent me to infiltrate in the first place. My powers were always strong, even as a kid.”
“So they knew you’d make our group.”
“Yep. They needed someone powerful enough who could get them close to the president of the Org.”
“You were a pawn in all this.” He placed a hand on my back to console me.
“But Jay and I . . . we were in reaction mode, and it was the best plan we could come up with in the short time we had.” I braved making eye contact. “Jay is one of us.”
“Okay, Jenny said as much.” He stood up. “I just wanted to know more about him. Let’s head back.”
I remained on the rock. “I don’t know how to face them.”
“Want me to tell you what to do?”
“Yes, please.”
“Just give them a hug.” Nick smiled.
With each step back to the cabin, the pounding in my chest grew stronger.
The thought of escaping now crossed my mind.
Why wait until I have no choice? If anything, getting my memories back convinced me the right thing to do was to leave them.
However, I realized that embracing fear was equivalent to accepting cowardice, and that simply would not do.
Maybe this was the truth I needed to embrace instead. They were my friends, and I’d protect them. I’d face them, train some more, and then I’d leave. Even if they hated me for it . . . again.