Chapter 6
Dean
The bruise on my jaw throbs every time I move…
a souvenir from a little unwelcomed reunion.
I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror, pushing at it with a knuckle, jaw flexing as the pain shoots up the side of my face.
It’s ugly, deep purple and blue, and it makes me think of bar fights, fists, the bad old days I’ve been trying so fucking hard to outrun.
Makes me think of the men who left it there, the ghosts of a past I can’t seem ever to shake.
I didn’t want a fight, but sometimes trouble comes looking for you, especially when you owe it blood.
It started two days ago. I was heading back to the inn from my night with Aubrey, cutting through the alley behind Main, when I saw the bikes, three of them, parked on the street by The Cozy Corner.
All black and chrome, custom paint jobs, with the Rising Tension’s skull logo glaring.
Immediately, my heart dropped. After all this time, they still managed to find me.
I tried to keep my head down and look like any other local.
But Jax spotted me. He always was a mean fucker, quick to swing, quicker to sniff out a rat.
He hit me with a punch before I could even get a word out.
It was meant as a warning, a hello from the club, and a promise: “We know you’re here. Don’t forget who you belong to.”
I spat out blood and walked away. I didn’t run, but my pulse and the adrenaline rush from it all haven’t slowed since.
Now, every time I step outside, I feel eyes on me.
Shadows at the edge of every fucking street.
I catch glimpses of the faces of men I used to call brothers.
They’re hanging around the gas station, smoking outside the liquor store, lingering in dark corners at Maggie’s.
Laughing and chatting it up like they own the place, like they own me.
I know why they’re here. They want me back. Or they want me dead.
Aubrey’s face flashes in my mind, the way she looked at me, worry in her eyes when she saw the bruise.
I shrugged it off like it was nothing. She didn’t believe me, not for a damn second.
But that’s the kind of girl she is, sees right through the bullshit and doesn’t blink.
But it’s too fucking dangerous to want her, to bring her into my life.
I light up a cigarette, pacing the length of my room. Every window feels like a target. I’m wired, jumpy. I think about texting, but don’t. I can’t drag her into my mess.
The best thing I can do for Aubrey is let her go.
Knowing I should pack my shit and be gone before sunrise…
get out of Crystal Falls, out of her life.
But with those bastards circling, I can’t leave.
Not yet. Not until I know she’s safe. And that’s going to be the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done.
The next morning, I keep my head down, watching for anyone associated with Rising Tension.
I spot two of them outside The Cozy Corner, laughing, tossing back coffee, watching everyone like they’re getting a feel for the town.
I don’t dare go anywhere near the diner.
The risk is too damn high. If they see me talking to Aubrey, if they even get a whiff that she means something to me, she’s an automatic target.
They’d hurt her just to get to me, or worse, use her to pull me back in.
So, I cross to the other sidewalk, keep my hands shoved in my pockets, and stare at my boots, forcing myself to keep moving.
I end up seeing Aubrey later that evening, after the diner closes. She’s heading to her car, hair up, face tired. She sees me, and hope flickers in her eyes.
“Dean,” she yells, bolting across the street to where I am. “Hey. You, okay? I haven’t seen you around in a couple of days.”
I force myself to look away. “Been busy.”
She steps toward me, and I take two steps back. “Is this about your jaw? Did something else happen?” Her voice laced with concern.
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I keep my answers cold.
She flinches at my tone. I hate myself for it, but I need her to back off. It’s for her own good. But being the stubborn-ass Aubrey is, she won’t let it go. “Dean, come on. This is bullshit. I’m not stupid.”
I snap, sharper and meaner than I want to be, but it’s necessary. “Drop it, Aubrey. I said it’s nothing. Some asshole got mouthy. It’s handled.”
She looks back at me with hurt in her eyes, but there’s fire there, too. “You don’t have to be such an asshole.”
I grit my teeth. “Sometimes it’s safer.”
She shakes her head, tears brimming in her eyes. “Safer for whom? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel safer for me.” I want to reach for her, hold her, tell her everything, but I can’t.
I walk away, ignoring her. The whole time she’s calling out to me, it feels like a knife straight to the heart.
The next day, I avoid her. I don’t go anywhere near the diner. I circle the block before I ever walk Main Street. When I see her that evening out with friends, I keep my distance, watching from the shadows. She looks for me, and every time, I hide.
It fucking kills me.
Later that night, she finds me lurking in the alley behind the diner. She looks pissed…hurt.
“Are you ghosting me, Dean? What the hell is going on?”
I try to keep it cold, the lie tasting vile on my tongue. “You’re better off without me.”
She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Dean, that’s so messed up, and you know it.”
“Just go home, Aubrey.”
She shoves me, hard. “Why are you doing this? You said you’d never let anyone hurt me. And look at what you’re doing. You promised.”
I stare at the ground, jaw clenched. “Sometimes hurting you is the only way to keep you safe.”
She shakes her head, tears now spilling down her face. “I don’t want safe. I want you.”
I turn away, because if I look at her any longer, I’ll break. “Aubrey, you need to go before I do something I can’t take back.”
She storms off, and I feel empty in her absence. Hollowed out.
That night turns into days. Rising Tension is everywhere…always close enough to remind me they’re watching, always just far enough to make me paranoid. I barely sleep. I keep my gun close. I keep my heart locked up.
Every time I see Aubrey, my chest aches. I want to run to her, take her in my arms, and confess everything. But I can’t. I’m poison, and I know it.
One afternoon, I duck behind the diner and catch her through the kitchen window, head down, scrubbing counters. She looks tired, with dark circles under her eyes. Gina says something, and Aubrey doesn’t even smile.
I did that. It’s all my fault.
I light a cigarette, trying to convince myself I’m doing the right thing. But it feels a lot like dying.
My phone buzzes, and it’s a text from Jax. You know what we want. Don’t make us come knocking.
I crush the phone in my fist, anger boiling over.
All I want is to keep her out of this. All I want is for her to be safe. But I know it won’t last. Not with my past circling like hungry vultures.
That night, I can’t help myself. I watch her walk home, staying hidden as she unlocks the door, glancing nervously over her shoulder. She knows something’s off. She can feel it. And so can I.
I stay there watching until the lights go out. I want to walk away, but my feet are rooted. All I can do is watch her shadow move behind the curtains and pray she never learns just how much darkness I carry.
Maybe one day, when all this is over, if I survive it, I’ll deserve her again. But tonight, all I can do is watch and try, in my own fucked-up way, to keep her safe.
Even if it means breaking her heart.
Even if it means breaking my own.