Chapter 7
Aubrey
Dean is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode, all coiled muscle and restless energy, pacing my living room like he can’t decide whether to run or devour me whole.
I watch him from the couch, my legs tucked under me, heart pounding so loud in my ears that it drowns out the rain hitting the glass of the windows.
I should be scared of him…of the darkness in his eyes, the barely contained violence that’s currently raging through him. But all I feel is want.
Want, and this bone-deep ache for something real.
He stops, turns, and the look in his eyes is pure hunger. “Are you sure about this?” His voice is rough, tortured sounding, like he’s asking for forgiveness he will never believe he deserves.
I nod, not trusting my own voice. It’s not just about sex with Dean. It’s about wanting him, needing to feel him, taking the risk to let him in even if it guts me in the end.
He’s on me in two steps, his mouth crashing to mine, hands tangling in my hair, fingers bruising my hips.
He tastes like whiskey and cigarettes, and when he picks me up, I cling to him, never wanting to let go.
We barely make it to the bedroom before clothes are flying, and his mouth is everywhere on my body…
my throat, my collarbone, working his way down to my tits, sucking a nipple between his lips until I’m gasping, arching into him, greedy for more.
“Fuck, Aubrey,” he growls. I feel his voice vibrating against my skin. “You’re so perfect.”
All I can do is whimper, too far gone for words at this point.
He sits me on the edge of the bed. He drops to his knees, and drags my panties down, spreading my legs wide, burying his face between my thighs.
The first lick is slow, and deliberate. I nearly come undone.
He devours my pussy like he’s starving. All tongue, stubble, and filthy words, until I’m clawing at the top of his head, begging, then sobbing as I fall apart at the mercy of his mouth.
He doesn’t give me time to recover before he’s up, claiming my mouth again. The taste of me on his lips is the hottest thing ever.
I fumble with this belt, undoing the button on his pants, desperate to get my hands on him…
to touch him. He lets out a feral groan the moment my hand closes around his thick cock.
Noticing the bead of precum on the tip, I take my tongue and swipe at it, wrapping my lips around the head, releasing it with a loud pop.
He tilts my chin to look at him. “You want me, Aubrey?”
“Yes, please,” I reply, giving him a wicked grin.
He pushes me back on the bed, pinning my wrists above my head.
With one perfect, hard thrust, he’s inside me.
And I swear I see stars. He fucks me like he’s making a promise and a threat, all at the same time.
Every snap of his hips saying, mine, mine, mine.
My whole body reacts to him, every nerve ending on fire, burning for this man.
He lets go of my wrists, and I let my hands roam his beautifully sculpted body…
nails raking down his back, my fingers gently grazing his bruised jaw.
“Who did this to you?” I breathe, letting my thumb trace the dark purple mark.
Something in his eyes flashes—pain and rage—and he just shakes his head.
For a second, it feels like he might break, but then his mouth is on mine again, hot and desperate, thrusting into me even harder.
As if he’s trying to outrun the question.
I come so hard, screaming his name. Dean follows, his whole body shuddering, as he bites into my neck to muffle his groan.
For a few minutes, all I hear is our breathing and the pounding of our hearts. He stays inside me, with his forehead pressed to mine, and I feel dizzy, exhilarated, and utterly exposed. It terrifies the shit out of me.
He rolls onto his back, arm still draped over my stomach, his eyes focused on the ceiling. I curl into him, my skin hypersensitive everywhere he touches.
I know this moment is fragile and could shatter to pieces if I make the wrong move. But I want more…I need to know more. I trace tiny circles on his chest, feeling his body tense under my touch.
“Dean?” I say, keeping my voice soft, scared of how this is going to play out. “Can I ask you something?”
He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath, his jaw tight. “Depends on what it is.”
I swallow and force myself not to chicken out. “Will you tell me something real? Anything. I want…” I hesitate. “I want to know you. Not just this…” gesturing with a back-and-forth motion with my hand at our tangled, sweaty bodies. “All of you.”
He doesn’t say anything for what feels like forever. Then, all of a sudden, he sits up, with his back to me, muscles tight like he’s bracing for a punch.
I sit up, pulling the sheet over my chest. “Dean, come on. I’m not asking for your whole life story…just trust me a little bit.”
“Aubrey, I’ve already told you I can’t. Please. Just…drop it.”
I try to swallow my hurt, but it rises anyway, hot and sharp. “Is this all I am to you? Sex…a piece of ass at your disposal when you decide to roll into town.”
I can see my words make him flinch, but he doesn’t turn around. “It’s safer for you this way.”
My anger is boiling now. “You know what’s not safe, Dean? Loving someone who treats you like you’re disposable.”
He spins on me, eyes dark. “You’re not disposable to me. That’s the problem.”
“Than fucking act like it!”
He grabs his shirt, pulling it on. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.”
I shake my head, tears stinging. “I want all of you, Dean. Even the ugly parts. Even the shit that scares you.” He won’t even look at me as he starts tugging on his pants. “But if you keep shutting me out, you’re going to lose me.”
Then, all of a sudden. “Damnit, Aubrey!” he yells, his voice rough and angry.
“You want real? Fine. Here’s real. I’ve done shit I’m not proud of.
I’ve hurt people. There are men in Crystal Falls right now who want to kill me, who would hurt you, just to see me bleed.
You think you want inside my head, but you don’t. It’s fucking ugly in here.”
“Dean, I’m not scared of you.”
He laughs, and it sounds bitter and broken. “Maybe you should be. Maybe you should run as far and as fucking fast as you can.”
I reach for him, but he jerks away. “You want to know about my past so bad? I was part of something bad, Aubrey. A club…brotherhood, is what they called it. But all it really was, was a pack of wolves tearing each other to pieces for the scraps. I left. And they didn’t like it.
Now they’re here, sniffing around, reminding me I don’t get to have my own life anymore. Not with you. Not with anyone.”
Everything inside me goes cold, but I refuse to let him see me scared. “Are you in danger?”
He looks at me, his eyes wild and glassy. “Always. And now you are too, because I’m too fucking selfish to stay away from you.”
For a second, the world narrows to just us…two broken people, wanting something neither of us knows how to take and hold on to.
“Dean,” I whisper. “Let me help. Whatever this is, we can—”
“You can’t fix this, Aubrey! No one can!” he yells, cutting me off.
I scramble from the bed, grabbing his arm. “Don’t do this, Dean. Don’t shut me out.”
He rips his arm free, looking back at me, his face full of pain. “You want more truth? Well, here it is. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my life. But wanting you is going to get you hurt, or worse. I can’t…I fucking can’t let that happen, Aubrey.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them away. “Don’t I get to decide if I want to take that risk or not?”
He shakes his head. “Not with men like them. Not when there’s blood on the line.”
He grabs his boots, wallet, and heads to the door. “I’m sorry, Aubrey. I should’ve never come back here. I should’ve never touched you. I’ll see you around,” he mutters.
The door slams, and it sounds final. I collapse on the bed and start sobbing, my heart shattered into a million pieces.
I’d let myself fall for him. I’d given him everything.
All he gave me was a glimpse into the truth under the scars, but it wasn’t enough to hold onto.
I want him, all of him, but it might be too late. That man is gone, lost to his demons.
I lie there for I don’t know how long. Crying for him…for me…for something that could’ve been beautiful if only he’d let me in and let it live.
I know one thing. I can’t let go. I’m not done fighting for Dean Michaels.
Not even close.