Dylan POV
Going back to my apartment would’ve been the smart move, but I couldn’t risk it. I’m not supposed to show up there this early, so instead I had to sneak back into the estate and pray no one spotted me, especially not with that obvious wet patch still darkening the front of my trousers.
I somehow made it inside, showered, changed, and slipped back out without a single person noticing.
Sasha laughs lightly and strokes the back of my hand. “Your dad seems really nice,” she says.
“You know no one can ever find out, right?” I ask, keeping my voice low.
She nods without hesitation. “I get it. You’re safer if nobody knows you’re his son. It makes total sense.”
It’s all one big game. Our world is brutal, and I’ve lived most of my life away from my family. I saw them, sure, but always in secret. A nanny basically raised me.
My father calls it part of the long game. Deep down I think he hates it, the fact he wasn’t around to shape me into the son he wanted. If he’d had the chance, I would’ve been thrown into the gym as a kid, learning to fight before I even knew how to throw a proper punch.
I know I’m not the kind of heir people expect in this life. I’m smaller, quieter, nothing like the ruthless image they picture. But this is who I am.
“When do you want to meet my family?” Sasha asks.
My whole body tightens. “Not yet.” I don’t want to drag her family into this when I know the whole thing is fake. At least not until I figure out if I can actually keep lying to myself and live this life with her.
She sighs but nods anyway. “Do you want to come back to mine? You’ve never stayed the night yet.”
“I can’t. You know that.”
“I’m not asking you to fuck me, Dylan. I’m just saying come over and spend the night. I understand you’re not ready to sleep with me until you’re sure.”
“Not tonight. I’ve got plans.” The lie tastes bitter because I don’t have any plans. I really fucking don’t. Maybe that’s my problem, I’ve never even tried to push myself with a woman. “I’ll come in for a drink though,” I add.
She smiles, clearly pleased, and grabs her bag.
We leave and slide into the waiting car. When we step inside her place, I glance around. She’s got serious money, which I already knew. It’s exactly why I picked her in the first place. Her father has real power.
She pours two drinks and hands me one. I should be able to do this. Everything is in the mind, right? My cock is controlled by my brain, so why can’t I just fake it? If I try hard enough, maybe I can get hard, fuck her, and finally solve the whole damn problem.
I step forward, grab the back of her neck, and kiss her. My mind instantly compares it to Blaze and I hate myself for it. I kiss her deeper, pushing her back against the wall and grinding my hips into hers.
Come on, react. Get fucking hard.
I grind harder, desperate for my body to do what it’s supposed to. I was so sure I could force it, prove I’m not gay, or at least prove I can live the lie. But nothing happens. Not even a twitch.
Sasha whimpers and grips me tighter, grinding against me like she hasn’t noticed I’m completely soft.
Frustration boils up until I feel like I’m about to snap. Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I get hard when I want to?
I close my eyes and my mind drifts back to earlier, to Blaze. His scent, the way he pinned me, the way he ground against me. My cock starts to react immediately. Relief floods through me. I’ve found a way.
Sasha moans, and reality slams back in. I stagger away from her and let go.
Fuck. No. Thinking about a guy while I’m trying to fuck her is even worse than not getting hard at all. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I shouldn’t have done that. I need to go,” I mutter.
I don’t wait for her to answer. I rush out and head straight for my apartment.
The second I unlock the door and step inside, my heart is still pounding. I shove my jacket off and walk further into the room.
Before I can even react, I’m slammed against the wall. Someone found out. Panic explodes in my chest and my eyes dart toward the drawer where I keep the gun.
“You’re not fucking gay?” The familiar voice makes me freeze.
“Blaze? What the fuck?” How the hell did he find out where I live? I never even told Davina or Lila.
“Now, did you run because you really believe you’re not gay?” he asks, voice low. “Or did you panic because you let me touch you… or because you fucking came?”
Heat floods up my neck. “Let me go.”
“Not happening. And this time, you can’t run.”
He drags me further into the room. I barely manage a few steps before he throws me down onto the bed. The air rushes out of my lungs as I hit the mattress. Then he’s on top of me.
“Don’t…” I don’t even know what I’m telling him not to do.
He moves, grinding against me, and my cock hardens instantly.
“You can play straight with everyone else, Little Rabbit,” he says, keeping me pinned. “But I’m not stupid. Don’t do it with me.”
He grinds again. My head shakes.
“F-fuck.”
“You know what makes me want you so much more now?” He rolls his hips again, and I feel myself start to leak. “The fact that you’re untouched. A virgin. It makes me want to be the first to do everything to you.”
My head shakes harder. “I’m not. I’ve fucked women,” I snarl.
He grinds faster, not stopping. “Yeah? Is that why you came so fucking quick last time?”
I can’t take it. “Stop… F-fuck, stop!” I’m right there again. My body tenses up tight as I feel myself about to explode.
Then he stops, leaving me right on the edge.
My body sags against the mattress, breathing ragged. I was so sure it was going to happen again.
“Why let me fucking flirt if you were just going to scream ‘I’m not gay’ and run?” Blaze grinds against me again and a moan slips out before I can stop it.
“S-stop.” Fuck.
“Why?” He laughs low and grinds again, slow and deliberate. “You’re not a virgin. This shouldn’t get you this worked up so quickly.” He rolls his hips, pressing harder.
“Stop!”
He actually stops this time and my body sags with relief. But then his hand moves, tugging my trousers open and shoving them down my legs. My eyes widen. “Blaze.”
“See, I thought I’d wait,” he says, voice rough. “Give you time to get over what happened, let you accept it on your own. But no… I think making you face it right now is better.”
I shake my head fast. I can’t face it. I have to stay clean. I have to walk into my father’s world engaged to a woman when he finally announces I’m his son. All of those thoughts vanish the second his mouth wraps around my cock.
I jerk hard, my mind completely short-circuiting. For a moment I forget how to breathe, how to think, how to do anything. Then I feel it building way too fast. “N-no!” I shove at his shoulders, desperate. I can’t come that quick again.
I can’t let him know how much I like it, but I also don’t want to blow in seconds and prove his point all over again. He pulls off and I whimper at the loss. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’ve been close to guys before. I’ve had guys touch me before and stayed fine.
I’ve never been thrown this far over the edge from something so simple.
Blaze crawls up my body and starts stripping off his clothes.
“Blaze, this…” My voice cracks.
“I know,” he says, mocking. “It can’t happen. You’re not gay. You can’t do this. You fuck women.”
I nod frantically.
“Then why are you so hard?” He leans down, eyes dark. “Leaking all over yourself, ready to explode from barely any touch?”
Panic surges through me. I shake my head because I have nothing left. No argument, no lie strong enough to make him believe me.
“Tell you what, Little Rabbit,” he murmurs. “Let me fuck you. If after that you still insist you’re not gay, I won’t come near you again.”
He’s lying. “Bullshit,” I whisper, my whole body trembling.
“I swear on my bike. I fuck you, and if you still say you’re not gay afterwards, I’ll move on.”
My heart pounds so hard it hurts. I’m not gay. He waits, staring down at me. I swallow hard and look away, eyes darting around the room.
“It’s a simple deal,” he says. “You let me fuck you, then I walk.”
“I—” His hand suddenly covers my mouth.
“You’re not gay. I know. I’ve already said I don’t believe you. It’s bullshit.” His hand drops from my mouth.
“This… I’ve never…” I can’t even say it out loud. Fucked a guy? Me? The words won’t come. Fuck.
“I figured you’d never fucked a guy, Dylan,” Blaze says, voice low. “Considering you’ve never fucked a woman either.”
“You don’t know that.” The words come out weak and we both know it’s bullshit, but I can’t stop myself from fighting, from denying it.
His head tilts slightly. “Why are you so ashamed of it?”
“I’m not,” I snap. “A virgin, I mean.”
He sighs and grips my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You’re ashamed?”
My eyes flick away. “I’m twenty-six…”
He hums softly and leans in, kissing me. “Which amazes me. You’re fucking hot, and you’ve never even slept with women? By your age, someone who looks like you should have a body count in the triple digits.”
Maybe if I keep him talking, he’ll forget about this whole plan to fuck me. “Have you ever fucked a woman?” I ask, meeting his eyes.
“Growing up, yeah. Not to hide that I was gay, just to make sure I actually was.”
“I can’t, which is weird, right? You see it all the time a man married with kids suddenly announcing he’s always been gay. Something must be wrong in my head because I can’t even do that.”
“It’s not weird, Dylan. It just means you haven’t figured out what your mind needs to make it happen. Plus, it gets easier with time.”
He says it like it’s simple. Then again, tonight was the first time I actually tried to fuck a woman.
“Now, I need an answer,” he says, cutting through my thoughts. “You tried to distract me. It didn’t work.”
“Why?” I ask. “There are so many guys out there who are easier. Guys who are actually gay. You’re wasting your time on me.”
“I like a challenge.”
Of course he does. This is Blaze, the stripper, the biker, the guy who takes what he wants. I’m getting distracted again, caught up in my own fucking head.