COFFEE
The way Chase’s eyes looked at me when I told him we needed to talk showed he wasn’t in the mood for any bullshit.
Deep down, I knew he had been trying to make up for how he handled Sienna.
Honestly, I didn’t care much about her; it was more about Kira growing up around new faces.
It was about us building a family with someone else’s child, not our own.
CJ was my heart. I loved him beyond words, but the truth was, what Chase wanted over a year ago, I didn’t.
Now, I was starting to question everything.
As he waited for me to say something, I couldn’t.
I knew I should hold back my feelings and not turn what was supposed to be a special weekend filled with love and joy into an argument.
So, I stayed silent. I could feel his anger, his hurt, and I knew he had been chasing my feelings, leaving his behind.
Before I could speak, he shot up from the toilet and glanced down at me.
“I’m going for a fucking walk,” he hissed.
I lifted. “But it’s snowing like crazy, Chase. It’s cold out.”
He had gone to walk out of the bathroom, but stopped and looked at me. “Good, maybe then that shit will cool me off,” he said before walking out.
This is what I didn’t want; him and me to be at odds. I couldn’t lose the man I love with every beat of my heart over miscommunication. “Shit!” I exclaimed.
I didn’t want him to think that what he felt didn’t matter, so instead of focusing on myself, I decided to make tonight all about him.
What I had to say was important, but I knew my husband and his love language.
If we were going to be in for the night, then we’d do what we did best: turn this perfectly elegant condo upside down just the way he liked.
Dark, sensual, dangerous, and nasty. I hurriedly washed up and got out of the tub.
I didn’t know how long he would be gone, so I moved around the place quickly.
I rushed toward the closet, grabbing a few things Chase and I had put away.
Then, I hurried to the kitchen to start dinner.
I jumped from that to lighting a few candles, then putting on some music.
I paused when I stood in front of the full-length mirror.
I stared at my naked body as a warm feeling washed over me.
I smiled brightly. Maybe what I thought would be a burden was actually a blessing.
All the fears I had about it before still lingered a bit, but I knew it would be worth it to see the man who would do whatever, no matter what, for his family, happily.
So not only were we planning to turn Christmas Eve into a freak session, but by Christmas Day, we would be starting bigger and better things. This was going to be a Carter’s special Christmas.