Chapter 31 Paranoid
Zarya's pov
The sunlight was already flooding the room when I finally stirred awake.
For a moment, I just lay there, feeling the softness of the sheets and the lingering scent of Iris...that expensive, woody perfume that had become my home.
But then... my hand reached to her side at wala akong nakapa na Iris doon.
My eyes fluttered open completely. I sat up quickly, sweeping my gaze around the room... and there she was.
She was sitting on her wooden armchair right in front of the floor to ceiling glass windows. Nakasuot na siya ng bathrobe niya with her messy bun, ready to go take a shower. Meron ditong mini overlooking garden na kahit maliit lang ay sobrang ganda, but Iris wasn't looking at the beauty of it.
She was staring blankly outside, her posture stiff, her face is unreadable. Para akong nakakita ng multo kung hindi ko lang siya kilala kahit naka talikod e.
My poor baby...
I didn't waste another second. I slid out of bed, my feet touching the cold floor, but I didn't feel it. All I felt was the need to be close to her.
I walked silently behind her chair and slowly wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pressing my body against her back. I tucked my chin right into the crook of her neck and shoulder, breathing her in deeply.
I just love clinging to her.
"Good morning, my love..." I whispered softly, my voice husky from sleep.
I felt her body tense for a fraction of a second before she relaxed against me. She turned her head slightly to look at me... and she smiled.
But it wasn't HER smile.
It was polite. It was presentable. It was the kind of smile she gave to strangers or in courtrooms. It was forced.
Her eyes... those beautiful eyes I fell in love with... were empty.
"Good morning..." She murmured gently, but the warmth didn't reach her gaze.
That was enough to make my heart drop to my stomach.
Agad kong inalis yung mukha ko sa balikat niya at pumunta sa harap niya. I dropped to my knees on the carpet, placing my hands on her knees so I was level with her face.
My brows furrowed in pure worry. "Iris... what's wrong?"
Last night okay naman ang lahat, bakit ganito ang umaga niya?
She looked away for a second, biting the inside of her cheek. She took a deep breath, as if gathering the strength to say something heavy.
Then, her eyes locked back onto mine, searching for something... truth.
"Zarya..." She started, her voice low and cautious.
"...Did something happen between you and Xylla?"
My mind literally blanked.
That... was the last thing I expected her to ask.
I was too stunned to speak. My mouth opened slightly, but no sound came out. My heart hammered against my ribs. Bakit niya tinatanong ngayon to?
But looking at her face... seeing the insecurity she was trying so hard to hide... alam kong kailangan kong sagutin ang tanong niya ng maayos at totoo.
I let out a long, shaky sigh, reaching up to cup her face with both hands, forcing her to look deep into my soul.
"We've kissed before"
She just looked at me, na para bang wala man lang siyang reaction. Well alam ko naman na nakita niya yun at hinabol ko pa siya para mag explain ako.
"I mean, did you and Xylla labeled something?"
"Nothing, Iris." I said, clear and steady. "Absolutely nothing. And we will keep it that way. She has never been... and will never be anything more than a friend to me."
I searched her eyes. "Bakit? Why are you asking about her all of a sudden?"
Ang random naman kasi ng tanong niya, alam ko naman na she has rights to ask. But still.
Iris closed her eyes, leaning her cheek into my palm, finding comfort even amidst her own thoughts.
"Last night..." She opened her eyes and began slowly. "...When I got to the hospital and waited for you in my Mom's room... I wasn't just upset because you were late, Zarya. It was more than that."
She swallowed hard.
"When I arrived at the hospital, pupunta sana agad ako sa office mo. But I saw you walking sa hallway."
My breath hitched. Hallway? siguro yun yung papunta ako sa kabilang quarters. I was coming to the quarters where Kiro and Ralph were.
"And then..." Iris continued, her voice trembling just a little. "Actually, I hid. Not because I saw you coming, but because I saw Xylla. Mas nauna ko siyang nakita when she went out of the office, then I saw you coming too. She was hiding."
My lips parted in surprise. So that's what happened... Nakita niya pala kami doon.
"I saw her, Zarya." Iris whispered, pain evident in every word. "She deliberately stepped back into the shadows just so you wouldn't see her. She already saw you coming and I guess that made her go out and hide."
I squeezed her knees gently, shaking my head slightly. "Iris, wala yun. Maybe... maybe she is just still upset about everything that happened–"
"No." Iris cut me off Sharp
I blinked. "What do you mean?"
Iris looked at me with such guilt. "Did we hurt her that much, Zarya?" She asked softly, her voice cracking.
"Hmm?" I frowned, not fully following where she was going.
She took a deep breath and dropped the bomb that made my blood run cold, yet my heart soften all at once.
"...We talked about you."
My eyes widened. "What?"
"Xylla and I." Iris clarified, looking away towards the window again. "One night...when you left for Italy. Back when things were... at their worst between us. Back when I was still the cold-hearted bitch who pushed you away." She chuckled bitterly.
"I went to her house." She recounted. "Hindi ko alam bakit ako pumunta doon, but we had an argument."
"you guys argued?" I asked, hindi naman kasi sinabi saakin ni Xy na nagkasagutan sila. Ang akala ko lang ay maayos silang nag usap?
She paused, looking back at me with an expression I couldn't decipher.
"But she wasn't trying to have you, or ilayo ka saakin. That argument. That fight... was exactly what led me back to you."
My mouth fell open in shock. "alam kong pumunta ka sa kaniya, but I never knew you two argued"
Now it was Iris's turn to be surprised. Her eyebrows shot up. "Talaga?"
I nodded slowly, tracing her jawline with my thumb. "Oo. She told me everything. But she never mentioned anything tungkol sa pinag usapan niyo."
Iris stared at me for a moment, processing this, before looking down at her hands.
"So...bakit out of nowhere sumagi sa isip mo si Xy?" I asked gently, leaning closer.
She closed her eyes, surrendering to the closeness for a moment before speaking her deepest fears out loud. "Actually..." She whispered. "I know I've been trlling you to forget about the past, but I can't help it. I know it's not that easy."
She pulled back slightly to look me in the eye, mas naging seryoso na ngayon ang mga mata niya.
"I can't help thinking about us, and it's not just us, Zarya. The people around us... they were also the biggest reasons why I kept myself away from you before." She paused for a moment. "Ryan...Xylla... your reputation... and your FAMILY."
My heart hammered painfully in my chest. Kasi after all, tama naman siya e.
Ryan, the perfect match chosen by my father is inlove with her.
Xylla... the one who made me feel loved when I don't deserve it.
My reputation... the De Luca Heiress dating the cold, infamous lawyer.
And my Family... who right this second, is preparing for war against hers.
She was terrified... not of losing herself... but of destroying me.
And that made me scared. Baka sa huli, mas iisipin niya pa yung ibang tao. I got scared that maybe someday she would sacrifice herself and think that it is the best way for both of us.
Ayaw kong mangyari yun.
I stayed silent for a moment, absorbing her fear, understanding exactly where it came from. But then... a fierce determination ignited inside me.
She is mine, and I am hers.
I tightened my hold on her hands, looking at her with all the seriousness of a vow.
"Listen to me carefully, my Attorney." My voice was low, commanding, yet filled with nothing but love.
"Ryan... will soon find out about everything . And eventually, maiintindihan niya rin. If that day would come, we both have to lower our guard down and apologize to him, okay? and we will make sure he understands that clearly enough to let go."
"As for my reputation?" I scoffed softly, a smirk playing on my lips. "Who cares? Let them talk. Let them gossip. I define my own legacy. If loving you ruins my reputation? Then let it be ruined. I will build a new one... with you."
"And Xylla?" I sighed softly, thinking of my best friend.
"nasaktan ko siya, nasaktan natin siya. And yes, she is still hurting.
And I hate that she is. But... she is strong, she will heal.
One day, sooner or later she will find someone who is actually meant for her.
Someone who will values and love her completely.
.. just like how I found you again, my love. "
Iris opened her mouth, her eyes glistening with fresh tears, ready to argue. "But–"
"But I am hungry." I cut her off... completely out of nowhere. Iris blinked rapidly, confused, the heavy atmosphere instantly shattering like glass.
"H-Huh?" She stammered.
I couldn't help but burst into laughter, seeing her bewildered face. I stood up, pulling her up with me until she was standing flush against my body.
"I said... I AM HUNGRY." I repeated, grinning widely, wiping the tear that managed to escape her eye. "We can't solve world peace on an empty stomach, Atty. Valenti. And we definitely can't start a day without breakfast."
She stared at me for a second... before shaking her head and finally...finallyyy... giving me her real smile. That crinkly-eyed, genuine smile that could light up the whole universe.
"You are impossible, Zarya De Luca." She whispered, but she leaned in to kiss my cheek. "But... fine. Let's eat."
Before we had our breakfast, nag ready na muna kami for the day. We took a shower and our daily routines. And since this isn't my house, nakigamit nalang din ako sa gamit niya.
We were both dressed and presentable. She's back to her powerful, sharp attired Attorney mode. While I am back to the poised Heiress aura.
Yes, wala munang doctor today. I need to prepare everything para sa meeting namin ni Mr. Henderson tomorrow.
Tomorrow is sunday, so I want to take my time dahil wala ding work si Iris. That's why as much as possible, tatapusin ko lahat ng need i present bukas para mas mabilis kaming matapos.
We ate our breakfast amidst light conversations, trivial things, work schedules, her court hearings, my hospital rounds. We didn't touch the heavy topics again... for now.
But as we stood by the door, keys in hand, about to head out to our separate battlefields... Iris stopped me.
She adjusted the collar of my coat, her touch lingering, her eyes searching mine one last time. She didn't say the words... but I heard them loud and clear.
"See you later, baby. Dinner?" She asked.
Did she just call me "baby"??? For heaven's sake.
"Say that again, please?" Humirit pa ako, but Im pretty sure I heard that right.
"Let's have dinner together." She said teasing me.
I just smiled and nodded, nahiya pa siya ulitin eh. "Okaayy, definitely. I'll pick you up, baby."
We stepped out into the day.
She went her way... and I went mine.
But deep inside, I made a silent vow to the heavens.
I will suture shut every mouth that speaks against us. There is no recovery for those who hurt her. There is no anesthesia for the pain I will cause. My hands are used to saving lives... but for her I will learn how to end one.
Iris, my Iris....you were never been a hindrance to anything. The only problem in this world... is anyone or anything that tries to keep us apart. And I promise, I will burn that bridge when I get to it.
It was exactly 12:30 PM when I finally leaned back against my leather chair, letting out a long breath as I pushed the stack of papers away from me.
The office was quiet, save for the hum of the air conditioning.
My desk was covered with blueprints, contracts, and highlighted notes regarding the Premium Land Bidding in Italy.
Tomorrow, I would meet Mr. Henderson, and I needed to be sharp, precise, and untouchable.
But as the adrenaline from work faded, a heavy wave of longing washed over me. Now that the noise in my head quieted down, only one thought remained. Iris.
Napapangiti ako nang mahina habang iniisip siya.
It had only been a few hours since we parted ways this morning, but it felt like an eternity.
I missed her scent, her voice, the way she held onto me like I was the only thing keeping her grounded.
My hand moved automatically toward my phone resting on the corner of the desk.
The screen lit up as I picked it up, and her name stared back at me.
Just Iris. I kept it simple, no nicknames, no emojis, just her name written in plain font.
A precaution I took a long time ago, but now, looking at it, it felt like a secret that only I knew.
I pressed the call button, eager to hear her voice, ready to tell her how much I already missed her.
Then suddenly, a knock on the door.
Nagulat ako sa pagkatok na muntik ko ng mahulog ang cellphone ko. With lightning speed, I pressed the end call button before it could even ring once, and agad ko itong binalik sa lamesa. My mind shifted gears in a fraction of a second from a lovesick girlfriend to the Heiress of De Luca.
"Come in," I said. My voice was calm, cold, and composed, masking the irritation bubbling inside me.
The heavy wooden door creaked open, and the person walking in made my blood run cold with annoyance.
It's Ryan.
He walked in with that usual confident stride of his, a charming smile plastered on his face as if he owned every room he entered. He adjusted the cuffs of his white shirt, looking polished and professional, but to me, he just looked like a nuisance.
"Good morning, Zar," he greeted, closing the door behind him and stepping closer to my desk.
I didn't stand up. I didn't offer him a seat. I just looked at him with a blank expression, my guard already rising brick by wall. Ano na naman ginagawa nito dito? Hindi ba't may sarili siyang opisina? Hindi ba siya busy? Why does he appear exactly when I want nothing to do with him?
"What do you need?" I asked directly. No pleasantries. No warmth.
He seemed slightly taken aback by my coldness, but he laughed it off, leaning casually against the edge of my desk, invading my personal space. Pero pinigilan ko nalang ang sarili kong palayasin tong kumag na to.
"Straight to the point mo naman." he said, though his eyes showed he wasn't expecting this attitude. "Can I have a favor?"
I raised an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest. "What is it?"
A favor? Since when did we become close enough for favors? I mean, oo dati. Where did he get some audacity to ask me a favor?
Ryan took a deep breath, scratching the back of his neck, looking almost nervous. That expression alone made me curious, though I refused to show it.
"I'd like to have dinner with Chiara tomorrow, if—"
"And so? Then go on."
I cut him off sharply. My tone was dripping with sarcasm, sharp enough to cut glass.
Inside, I was already burning with irritation. Talaga ba, Ryan? Pumunta talaga siya dito just to interrupt my peace? para sabihin na gusto niyang idate si Iris? aba. Does he not realize how ridiculous this looks?
He blinked, clearly surprised by my interruption and the hostility in my voice.
"Uh... right. Well... the thing is," he stammered slightly, "You know Chiara and I cannot be seen together publicly yet.
Alam mo naman din yung situation nating tatlo.
It's been awhile since Chiara and I had our time kasi busy din naman siya palagi.
it's complicated right now. We don't want rumors. "
He looked at me with pleading eyes that used to work on me before. Not anymore.
"So, if it's okay with you. Would you mind if I invite you as well?" He proposed. "Come with us. Make it look like a business meeting or just friends hanging out. Zar? Please?"
For a moment, I just stared at him, wondering if he had lost his mind.
Seryoso ba siya?? He wants me—me, the woman he is supposed to be marrying, to act as a shield while he dates another woman? And the worst part is that woman is my woman. I know it's complicated to think, but the audacity of this man?
I glared at him, my gaze hardening into the look I reserved for business rivals.
"No," I said firmly.
His smile dropped completely. "...Excuse me?"
"I said no," I repeated, slower and colder this time. "I have an important meeting tomorrow afternoon regarding the bidding. It will likely take the whole evening. Bring someone else. Ask Kiro or Ralph. I am not available."
Silence filled the room. Ryan looked stunned, perhaps realizing for the first time that I was not joking.
He looked at me, searching for any sign that I was just playing hard to get, but he found nothing but steel.
He slowly nodded, stepping back from my desk, looking awkward and unsure of what else to say.
"Oh... right. Of course. I... I didn't know about the meeting," he mumbled. He stood there for a second longer before deciding to turn around. "I'll... leave you to it then."
As he turned his back to me, I reached for my laptop, opening the files again to pretend I was already back to work. Finally. He is leaving.
But just as he said we about to turn his back, my phone rang.
The sound echoed loudly in the quiet room. My eyes darted to the device face down on the table.
Iris.
Her name flashed across the screen in simple black letters. My breath hitched. Thank God I never put hearts or emojis. Thank God I kept it plain.
But Ryan stopped walking. He turned his head slightly, his eyes locking onto my phone screen. He saw it. I know he did.
Hindi ko nalang siguro sasagutin? But I know Iris, hindi niya ibababa tong tawag.
If I didn't answer, she would keep calling, or worse, she might come here herself. That would be a disaster.
So, with a calmness I did not feel, I picked up the phone and answered it. Binaba ko ang volume ng phone ko, turning slightly away from him, and lowered my voice to a flat, professional tone.
"Yes?"
"Did you have your lunch already?" Her voice came through the speaker, clear and beautiful, making my heart ache to talk to her properly. But I had to act. I had to pretend. I forced myself not to sound affectionate.
"Uh... yes. Tita Clara will be discharged soon. I'll let you know when," I said, completely changing the topic, giving her code-like answers that made no sense.
There was a pause on the other line. Pure confusion radiated from her silence.
"What?" Iris asked, her voice dropping an octave, becoming stern and confused at the same time. "Woman, I am asking you did you have your lunch?"
Oh no. Seryoso na talaga ang tono ng boses niya. It sent a shiver of pure terror down my spine. Iris when she is suspicious is scarier than my father when he is angry.
"Okay. Thank you," I blurted out abruptly, and ended the call immediately.
Agad akong nag DND after the call at binaba ulit ang phone ko. Just for a few minutes. Just until he leaves.
I took a deep breath to steady myself, then slowly turned my head. Ryan was still standing there, watching me with a knowing look in his eyes. It made my skin crawl.
"It's good to know that you two are doing a lot better than before," Ryan said, a strange, ambiguous smile playing on his lips.
I narrowed my eyes at him. What does he mean? Does he suspect? Did he hear something?
"What do you mean?" I asked, keeping my face impassive. "Her mother is my personal patient. There is no big deal about it. It is strictly professional."
Ryan just smiled wider, nodding slowly as if he knew a secret I didn't. "Of course. Strictly professional."
The way he said it... patronizing and mocking... it infuriated me. Na para bang masayang masaya siya na nag uusap ulit kami ni Iris. I slammed my hand lightly on the desk, the sound sharp in the air.
"Do you still need anything, Ryan?" I challenged him.
That seemed to snap him out of whatever thoughts he was having. He shook his head, straightening his posture.
"No. Nothing at all, Doctor." he said, emphasizing my title with a hint of respect he hadn't shown earlier. "Okay... calm down. Aalis na ako, Good luck with your preparations."
With that, he finally walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.
As soon as the lock clicked, the strength left my legs. I slumped back against my chair, exhaling a breath that felt like I had been holding it for hours.
That was close. Muntikan na talaga.
My hand went straight to my chest, calming my racing heart. Then, I grabbed my phone, turning off the Do Not Disturb mode. I needed to call her back. Now.
Before dialing, I quickly made the sign of the cross, whispering a silent prayer to the heavens. Lord, I hope she doesn't kill me.
The phone rang twice before she picked up.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Her voice exploded through the line, loud, furious, and possessive. I actually pulled the phone slightly away from my ear. There she was. My terrifying, beautiful, protective girlfriend.
"Iris...calm down," I said quickly, my voice soft and pleading. "I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."
"Sorry?!" She snapped. "You answer my call talking about discharge papers? You sound like a robot! And then you hang up on me? And then you go on Do Not Disturb? Zarya, explain. Now."
I bit my lip, looking at the closed door to make sure it was truly locked.
"Ryan was here," I confessed in a rush. "He was standing right in front of my desk. He saw your name pop up. I had to act normal. Kailangan kong gawin yun para hindi siya mag suspetya saatin."
There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.
"What is he doing in your office?" Iris asked, her tone lowering into a dangerous whisper.
I hesitated. Should I tell her the truth? That he came here to ask me to be his cover for a date with her? No. That would only make her angrier, or worse baka ano pa isipin non.
"He... he just dropped off some architectural plans regarding the hospital wing expansion," I lied smoothly. Sorry, Ryan. Sorry, God. But I cannot tell her the real reason. "It was strictly work-related, but he stayed talking. I couldn't risk him hearing us."
Another pause. Then a heavy sigh from her.
"Fine," Iris said, though she still sounded irritated. "But you owe me a proper explanation later. And a lot of kisses."
"Anything," I promised instantly. "I will give you the whole world if you want it."
She scoffed, but I heard the smile in her voice. "Flattery will get you everywhere. Now..." Her tone shifted back to that motherly, caring dominance. "So, have you eaten?"
My stomach chose that exact moment to growl loudly. I bit my lip guiltily.
"Not yet," I admitted sheepishly.
Iris clicked her tongue. "I knew it. I'll order something for you. The usual salad and soup, or do you want something heavy?"
"No need, Iris," I said quickly, standing up to grab my bag. "I'll just go down to the resto area and grab something. Wag ka na mag alala."
"So," she drawled, her voice turning mock-offended. "You reject my call earlier, and now you reject my treat? Is this how you treat your girlfriend now, Dr. De Luca?"
I groaned, shaking my head even though she couldn't see me. She knows exactly how to wrap me around her finger.
"Okay, okay, whatever you say, gorgeous attorney," I surrendered with a loving grin. "Order whatever you want. But... did you have your lunch na din ba?"
"I am about to. I have a lunch meeting with some clients regarding a case," she replied, her voice becoming serious again. "Nothing too dangerous, just tedious paperwork."
"Okay. Take care then," I said softly, the worry creeping back in. "Text me when you are done."
"I will," she said. Then, her voice dropped to a whisper, thick with emotion. "Okay... I love you, Zarya."
"I love you too, Iris," I whispered back with all the sincerity in the world. "More than anything."
We hung up, and for a moment, I just sat there, staring at the screen. The fear of Ryan discovering us, the annoyance at his audacity, it all faded away, replaced by the absolute certainty of what I said earlier.
The sun had long set, and the city outside my office window was now a sprawling sea of artificial lights, yet I remained seated at my desk, buried under piles of documents. The hours dragged on, filled with blueprints, contracts, and endless arrangements for tomorrow.
I forced myself to focus, telling myself that once I was done, I would finally have Iris in my arms again. That thought was the only fuel keeping me going through the exhaustion.
Hindi ko na namalayan, 8pm na pala. I exhaled deeply and pushed my chair back. My back ached from sitting too long, and my eyes felt strained, but my heart was already moving ahead of me. Finally.
Niligpit ko na ang mga gamit ko, I packed my laptop bag, folders, coat, and my mind already picturing her face. I planned to surprise her at her office, take her to dinner, and just hold her after such a chaotic day.
I grabbed my phone and dialed her number while walking toward the door.
It rang for about 5 seconds but she didn't pick up.
My eyebrows knitted together in slight confusion. Baka busy parin siya? Maybe she is talking to a client? It was unusual for her not to pick up, especially when she knew it was me. She usually answers on the first ring.
"baka nagliligpit na pauwi," I muttered to myself, shaking off the uneasiness creeping up my spine.
Hindi ko nalang muna inisip at lumabas na ako ng office para kunin ang sasakyan ko. but by the time I reached the basement parking lot, the anxiety had not faded. So I tried calling again.
Same result. Just ringing. No answer.
My jaw tightened. Ano kaya ginagawa niya ngayon?
Instead of driving straight to our place, I changed my route. I will just go directly to her building. I thought. That way, I catch her the moment she steps out. It will be a nice surprise.
I started the engine and drove out, but my hand kept reaching for my phone on the passenger seat. I called her again. And again. And again.
Still nothing. Halos sampong beses na akong tumawag pero hindi parin talaga sumasagot.
The city lights blurred as my driving speed increased slightly, my patience thinning with every passing second. My heart began to hammer against my ribs, hard and fast. The silence from her end was deafening. It was wrong. Everything about this felt wrong.
What the hell is happening? I gripped the steering wheel so hard my knuckles turned white. Bakit hindi siya sumasagot? Is she angry? Did something happen? Did she get into trouble?
My mind started conjuring the worst possible scenarios. I thought about our conversation this morning.
By the time I pulled up in front of her building, my whole body was tense, vibrating with a mix of worry and rising anger. I stepped out of the car, slamming the door shut a little harder than necessary, and marched straight toward the security booth.
The guard on duty stood up straight when he saw me. "Good evening po, ma'am" he greeted respectfully.
I didn't waste time on pleasantries. My voice came out sharp and tight. "Good evening. Is Attorney Valenti still inside?"
The guard shook his head instantly, and the answer that came next felt like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over my head.
"nakaalis na po Ma'am... May sumundo kanina sa kaniyang lalaki eh."
My breath hitched. The world seemed to tilt on its axis.
A man.
"Mamaya pa nga dapat ang out non, pero umalis sila agad." He continued casually, oblivious to the way my heart was shattering inside my chest.
I froze on the spot. My mind went completely blank for a second before the thoughts came rushing back, loud and chaotic.
A man? What man?
I forced my voice to work, though it trembled slightly.
"Do... do you know who the guy is?" I asked, staring right into his eyes, desperate for an answer that would calm the storm rising inside me.
The guard scratched his head, thinking. "Hindi po ako pamilyar sa mukha niya eh... pero mukhang close sila. Baka boyfriend ni Attorney? Pinagbuksan niya agad ng pinto at mabilis silang umalis."
Boyfriend.
The word echoed inside my skull, mocking me. Crushing me.
Pinagbuksan niya agad ng pinto.
So who was this man?
Is this a joke? My thoughts screamed, wild and hysterical. I felt sick. My stomach twisted into painful knots. Jealousy, hot and blinding, mixed with pure, unadulterated fear. It burned through my veins, turning my blood into fire.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling my eyes sting, though I refused to cry. Not here.
"Thank you," I managed to whisper, my voice void of any emotion.
I turned around and walked back to my car on shaking legs. Every step felt heavier than the last. It felt like I was walking through mud.
I sat inside my vehicle and just stared at the steering wheel for a long moment. The silence around me was suffocating.
I started the car again, but this time, I wasn't driving with purpose or excitement. I was driving like a ghost.
I didn't drive home. I couldn't. Not until I saw her, not until I heard it from her own mouth. I needed to know she was safe. I needed to know she was still mine.
My first stop was the hospital. Maybe she went there to check on her mom? Maybe the guard was mistaken and she just went to visit Tita Clara? I practically ran through the lobby, ignoring the greetings of the staff, straight to the private ward. But when I got there, the nurse shook her head.
I didn't waste any time, umalis na agad ako ng hospital at bumalik sa sasakyan ko.
I drove straight to Iris's house. Baka nadoon na siya, baka nakauwi na siya.
I parked the car haphazardly and ran to the gate, ringing the bell repeatedly.
No one answered. The house was dark, lifeless, and quiet.
Panic was beginning to mix with the anger now, turning my blood into something hot and dangerous. "Where are you, Iris?"
I went back to my car and drove back to her law firm. Maybe they went back inside? Maybe they just stepped out for a moment and came back?
But for fuck's sake. Wala parin talaga siya doon.
I started driving aimlessly, checking every place I knew she frequented. Restaurants, coffee shops, parks... everywhere. Bakit ba kasi hindi sumasagot? My hands were shaking as I gripped the steering wheel. Parang pinapatay mo naman ako sa kaba, Iris. Sino ba yung lalaking kasama mo?
I was running out of places to look. I was running out of patience. My mind, clouded by jealousy and fear, landed on one name. One person I wanted to strangle right now.
Ryan.
Kung sino man yung lalaking yun... baka siya yun. Baka nakipagkita siya kay Ryan. The thought made me see red. The fact that he was in my office earlier, asking me for favors, acting innocent, while maybe planning to meet up with Iris... it made me sick to my stomach.
I immediately stepped on the gas pedal, turning the car sharply toward the direction of Ryan's place. My vision was blurry with rage. If I find you there, Iris... if I see you with him... I don't know what I will do. Hindi ko mapapangako ang sarili ko.
I was driving fast, reckless and fueled by pure emotion, when suddenly... my phone lit up on the dashboard.
A text message.
I glanced at the screen, and my breath hitched. It was from her.
I stared at the message, reading it over and over again. The words were simple, but they came hours too late. And the damage was already done.
Urgent meeting? Sa client? At sinundo ka ng client mo personally?? And you turn off your phone so you can't be reached? ano ba talaga, Iris?
I felt the anger rise even higher, if that was possible. She expect me to just wait at home like a good little girlfriend while she run around town with some mystery man? She thinks a text message is enough to calm the storm inside me?
The jealousy, the worry, the frustration... it all curdled into cold, hard fury. I didn't believe it completely. Or maybe I just refused to believe it because the pain was too fresh.
With a heavy heart and a scowl etched deep on my face, I abruptly changed direction. I turned the car away from Ryan's building, napag desisyonan kong umuwi nalang sa bahay ko mismo. Seems like she's totally fine naman na kasama yung kliyente niya.
ou better have the best explanation in the world. Dahil sa sobrang takot at pag-aalala ko kanina... ngayon? Galit na galit na ako. And you are going to feel every bit of it.