Chapter 31 The price of my lies.
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Just a quick heads-up, this chapter is in Iris Valenti's POV. You'll notice more English than Tagalog, and this is intentional!
The day had been endless, a blur of signatures, heated arguments, and piles of documents that seemed to multiply on my desk. Being one of the most formidable attorneys in the city came with a heavy price tag.
Every case I won, every battle I won inside the courtroom, earned me respect, money, and power.
.. but it also earned me enemies. Threats were nothing new to me.
I received them almost weekly angry opponents, dangerous people who hated that I always found a way to twist the law toward justice.
But I didn't care. This has been my weapon. What I earned for years. This is the life I built.
It was already night when I finished my last meeting.
My last client was an elderly man, frail and kind, who struggled to walk the long distance from the office to the parking area.
Out of respect, and perhaps because even beneath this cold, tough exterior, I still had a heart, I insisted on walking him down personally to the main lobby.
I didn't want him to struggle going up and down the high floors.
When we reached the glass automatic doors, I stepped out onto the pavement to make sure he safely got into his car. I stood there, hands buried deep in the pockets of my tailored coat, watching as his vehicle pulled away and disappeared into the traffic.
And that was when I saw it.
A black sedan. Parked just across the street. The windows were heavily tinted, pitch black, impossible to see who or what was inside.
My heart hammered violently against my ribs.
Not again. Recently, the threats had become more personal, more aggressive.
My mind instantly jumped to the worst possible scenarios.
They found me. They came for me. My body went on high alert, my hand instinctively balling into a fist, ready to defend myself or run.
I took a sharp step backward, pressing my back against the cold glass of the building, eyes locked on the mysterious car.
Then, the engine revved, and the car slowly glided forward until it stopped right in front of me.
My breath hitched. I was ready to scream, ready to fight, when the passenger window hummed down.
And there he was.
Ryan.
The relief that washed over me was instant, but it was immediately replaced by a surge of pure irritation and exhaustion. My shoulders slumped, the adrenaline turning into heavy frustration.
Of course.
My jaw tightened. Ano naman ang kailangan niya ngayon? As far as I know, we have no plans today.
I turned swiftly, ready to march back inside the safety of the building, pretending I never saw him. But before I could even take a second step, the car door flew open. Ryan practically jumped out, rushing toward me.
"Ryan—"
He reached me in seconds, and his hand shot out, gripping my upper arm tight enough to halt my movement. It wasn't violent in intention, but it was rough enough to make me wince.
"Ryan, stop!" I hissed, pulling my arm back, eyes scanning the lobby behind us to see if any staff or security were watching. "Are you insane? Someone could see you here! Do you want rumors to start?!"
He released me immediately, his face etched with panic and apology. "I'm sorry, hon. hindi ko sinasadya, I just... I just needed to stop you."
I rubbed my arm, glaring at him. "Well, you did. Now go. You know the rules. You don't come here, especially not like this."
"I just want to pick you up," he said, his voice softening, pleading. "I want to take my girlfriend out for dinner. Masama ba yun?"
"Ryan, please," I sighed, exhaustion seeping into my bones. I just want to go home. I just want to call her. I want to hear Zarya's voice and forget about this complicated mess I am stuck in. "Next time na lang. I have so much paperwork left to finish. It's late."
"Please, Chiara... please," he begged, stepping closer, his eyes searching mine. "I need to talk to you. Please. Just give me an hour. Two hours maximum."
"Then let's talk about it another time—" I started, turning my back on him again.
"It's about Zarya."
The name hit me like a physical blow. My feet froze on the concrete. The air left my lungs.
Slowly, shakily, I turned around to face him again. My expression must have given everything away, the panic, the interest, the fear...because Ryan's eyes dimmed slightly. He saw exactly how much that name affected me.
May nalaman ba si Ryan? Did he find out? Alam na ba niya ang saamin ni Zarya?
Fuck!
I let out a long, shaky exhale. "...What about her?"
"Come with me, and I'll tell you everything," Ryan said quietly.
I stood there, fighting a war within myself. What do I need to know about Zarya? did something happened?
Curiosity, and fear for Zarya's safet won over my irritation. I nodded reluctantly.
"Fine," I muttered.
Ryan's face lit up, and he immediately rushed to open the passenger door for me. I slid inside, the leather seats cool against my legs. As he walked around to the driver's side, I stared out the window, feeling a heavy sense of dread settle in my stomach.
As the car pulled away from the curb, I noticed the direction we were taking.
We weren't heading toward the commercial district, nor toward the road leading to his condominium. We were heading toward the coastal highway, away from the city lights, further and further away from where I needed to be. Hindi ito yung tamang daan.
My heart dropped.
"Ryan," I said, my voice sharp. "This isn't the way to your place."
He glanced at me, seeing the rising panic in my eyes. He reached over, patting my knee reassuringly.
"Relax, hon. We're going to my beach house. It's private. No one will see us there. It's safer, and quiet. Perfect for talking."
"Safer?" I almost shouted, pulling my leg away from his touch. "I thought we were just going to dinner and talk?! I still have work, Ry! Ano ba talagang meron?!"
"Calm down, will you?" His tone was gentle, but firm. "Everything is arranged. Just trust me."
I bit my tongue, forcing myself to breathe. Dapat kumalma ka, Chiara. Huwag kang magpadala sa emosyon.
I stayed quiet, looking out the window as the tall buildings turned into dark trees and open road.
"How's your day, hon?" Ryan asked, trying to break the silence. He reached for my hand, but I kept mine firmly on my lap.
"Fine," I answered flatly.
I didn't want to talk to him. Every second I spent here was a second I should have been with her.
I thought about Zarya, probably waiting for me, probably wondering where I was.
Siguro naghihintay na siya sa office ko.
Siguro nagtataka kung bakit wala pa ako.
Oh God, sana huwag siyang mag-alala nang sobra.
"Who's car is this?" I asked suddenly, realizing the interior wasn't familiar.
"It's my friend's car," Ryan answered quickly. "Hiniram ko kasi... if I use my own car, baka may makakita sa atin."
I scoffed bitterly. "Then you shouldn't have picked me up at all. You should have just called."
Ryan just went quiet, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.
Impatient, I pulled my phone from the pocket of my coat. My thumb hovered over Zarya's name. I needed to message her. I needed to tell her I was okay. I was already typing text when Ryan spoke again.
"Who are you texting?"
"Some client," I lied smoothly, keeping my face neutral.
"Will you do that after dinner? Please?" Ryan pleaded, glancing at me with sad eyes. "I want your time. Minsan na lang tayo magsama, Chiara. Minsan na lang tayong ganito."
And before I could react, before I could send the message. he gently snatched the phone from my hand. I gasped, reaching for it, but he placed it swiftly on the back seat, out of my reach.
"Ryan!"
"Just for a few hours, hon. Please. Just give me this time."
I slumped back against the seat, defeated and angry.
After another twenty minutes, the car finally slowed down. We had arrived at his beach house.
But as I stepped out of the car, my breath hitched not in awe, but in pure shock and rising fury.
This wasn't just a dinner setup.
The entire area near the shore was decorated.
There was a table set with white cloth and silverware, candles burning bright against the dark sand.
Flowers, roses and lilies were scattered all over the ground leading to the table.
Nearby, a pianist and a violinist stood ready, playing a soft, romantic melody that drifted over the sound of the waves.
It was beautiful. It was perfect.
And it made me sick.
My face remained cold, void of any happiness or surprise. I just felt... trapped.
"What is all of this?" I asked, my tone icy and sharp.
Ryan smiled shyly, looking proud. "A surprise. For you. For us."
"I thought we were just going to talk about Zarya?" I snapped, not moving an inch toward the table. "Ano ba ang kinalaman nito sa kanya?"
Ryan walked closer, gently pulling the chair out for me. "Let's eat first, hon. We have all night."
With no choice, my heart heavy and anxious, I sat down. He served me food and poured a glass of expensive wine, but I had no appetite. My stomach was tied in knots. I watched him eat casually, while I was burning inside.
I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed my hand lightly on the table.
"So?" I demanded. "What's with Zarya? Tell me now."
Ryan stopped eating. He put down his fork and knife slowly. He let out a heavy, heavy sigh, looking at me with eyes full of pain and... love?
"Are you really more interested about her... than everything I prepared for you tonight, hon?"
I went silent.
Yes Ryan, actually.. she's more important than anything.
Before I could answer him, Ryan stood up. He walked slowly toward me, the music suddenly getting louder, more dramatic.
And then... he knelt.
On one knee.
Is he going to propose?!! What the actual FUCK?!
He pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket and opened it.
HOLY SHIT, A ring.
Diamond shining bright under the candlelight.
I was too stunned to speak. Too stunned to move. My blood drained from my face. I felt the world tilt on its axis. Hindi... hindi ito pwede. Oh God..
"Chiara Iris Valenti," Ryan started, his voice shaking with emotion.
"I know it's only been months since we officially became.
.. us. But eight years of friendship... made me memorize your soul.
I know you. I know what you've been through.
And that is the soul... the heart... the woman I want to be tied with for the rest of my life. "
He took a breath, tears starting to form in his eyes.
"Will you marry me, Chiara?"
I couldn't breathe. I immediately reached out, grabbing his arms to force him to stand up. "get up, Ryan. Please... tumayo ka"
He stood, confused, hurt, his face full of questions. "Hon... why? Bakit?"
"I thought we were just going to talk about Zarya?" I repeated, my voice trembling, close to breaking.
Ryan looked at me, confused but determined. "Yes, this is it. This is exactly about her. I want you to know... that I am cutting my ties with Zarya completely. I am ready to leave my world behind for you."
He smiled proudly, like he just won a war.
"Wala na siyang halaga sa akin, Chiara. I used to want her, I used to chase her for years.
.. but I realized all of that was just pride.
I actually don't need her. It was my Dad who needed her and their alliance.
And... she never wanted me anyway. It was always his father who pushed her toward me.
She never looked at me the way I look at you, Chiara. "
I stared at him, horrified. "What were you thinking?"
"Hindi mo ba gusto 'to??" He asked softly. "Don't you want us to be free?"
"Of course no! This is ridiculous, Ryan!" I stood up, my chair scraping loudly against the sand. "If your dad finds out...we are all doomed. Not just me Ryan, ikaw din. Si mommy, si Zarya."
Ryan stepped closer, grabbing my hands firmly.
"Chiara, handa na ako. I am more than ready na iwan lahat...reputation, family name, business, kahit si Zarya... iiwan ko lahat para sa'yo."
And that was it.
That was the moment my patience snapped.
"You are selfish."
Ryan blinked, taken aback. "What?"
"You are selfish, Ryan!" I pulled my hands away from him, my voice rising, trembling with rage and frustration. "have you think about me? think about people around you?!"
"In what way did I become selfish, Chiara?" He asked, his voice cracking. "The way I chose you over anyone else? Over my career? My reputation and my family's name? Im selfish for doing that?! I am doing this because I love you!"
"YES!" I screamed, the sound echoing against the waves. "Yes! Because you didn't think about me—"
"It's you who I've always think about, Chiara!" He shouted back, tears now freely falling down his cheeks. "Ikaw lang ang laman ng isip ko araw-araw!"
"It's me?!" I laughed bitterly, tears finally escaping my eyes too.
"Is it really me? Did you ever stop to think.
.. if I even want this? Did you ever think if I want to be trapped in this mess with you?
! Hindi mo inisip kung ano ang kayang gawin ng Papa mo sa akin!
kay mommy?! On how he could easily destroy us? "
Ryan went quiet.
Realization hit him hard. He remembered exactly who his father was. How powerful, dangerous, and ruthless Mr. Bernard was. If Ryan defied him, I would be the first one to suffer.
"You can never run away from everything, Ryan," I said, my voice breaking, quieter now, exhausted. "Don't be a coward. Solve the problem properly. Dont run away from everything and drag me into danger"
Silence stretched between us, heavy and painful. The music had stopped playing. The waves crashing sounded like a roaring in my ears.
Ryan fell to his knees, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders shaking.
"I can't do this anymore, Chiara," he sobbed, sounding completely broken.
"Pagod na pagod na ako. My life has its direction, settled na lahat.
.. pero pakiramdam ko... pakiramdam ko I am lost. Lost in my own life, Chiara. "
His cries became louder, raw and hurtful. "I just want to be happy, Chiara. Gusto ko lang sumaya... gusto ko lang makasama ka nang maayos."
I felt a sharp pain in my chest. My heart ached for him. I knew I caused this pain. I knew I was the reason he was hurting this much... because I was never truly his to begin with.
But I had no courage to comfort him. I couldn't lie to him anymore.
I took a deep, shaky sigh.
"I want to go home. Iuwi mo na ako."
I turned my back on him, unable to watch him break down further. As I walked away toward the car, I glanced back. He was already getting up, wiping his tears roughly with his sleeve. His face was hardened, but his eyes were dead.
He walked behind me in silence.
I went inside the car first. I reached for my phone on the back seat and typed the message I had been wanting to send all night.
It was a lie. A necessary lie. But every word hurt. I'm sorry, Zarya.
Ryan went into the driver's seat. His expression was serious, cold, but still swimming in pain. He didn't say a single word as he started the engine and drove off.
The drive back was long and suffocating.
My mind began to race, analyzing everything that happened, questioning every decision I made in my life.
Bakit ko nga ba siya sinagot? Bakit ko hinayaang makapasok siya sa buhay ko kung alam ko naman na hanggang kaibigan lang ang kaya kong ibigay?
Was it because I was afraid to face the truth that maybe it was already too late for me and Zarya?
I realized something deep and terrifying.
I needed to end this. Tonight. Before things got worse. Before promises were made that could never be broken. Before Ryan destroyed his life completely for a woman who could never love him back.
Even though I knew... our situation was already at its worst.
When the car finally stopped in front of my house, neither of us moved. The engine died down, leaving us in silence. Tears were slowly falling from Ryan's eyes again, streaming down his face, silent and endless.
I broke the silence. My voice was barely a whisper, but firm.
"Ry... let's end it here."
Ryan didn't react. He just gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white, trying to hold back sobs even though the tears were already flowing freely.
"I don't want this anymore," I continued, looking straight ahead. "This is too complicated for me, Ry. Nakakapagod na. Masakit na."
"Chiara... please," Ryan choked out, his voice trembling. "Just a few more time, please... huwag mo naman akong iwan nang ganito... please."
"No, Ry... please," I begged softly, tears now rolling down my own cheeks. "Let me go loose. Please... release me from this nightmare. I'm sorry ry."
He reached out, about to hold my hand, but I pulled away gently.
"I'm sorry."
I whispered, then quickly got out of the car before I could change my mind, before I could break down and give him false hope. I ran toward my gate, toward my house, desperate to get away from the pain, the guilt, and the heartbreak I left behind in that car.
I didn't look back.
But deep inside... I knew. It was all my fault.
Ako ang may kasalanan ng lahat. I agreed to this setup. I led him on. I kept lying to everyone just to protect us... but look where it got us. I broke him.
My legs felt like lead as I dragged myself toward my front gate. Every step away from Ryan's car felt like I was leaving a piece of my soul behind, trapped in that nightmare I finally escaped. My chest heaved, tears still stinging my eyes, threatening to fall again any second.
But before I could turn the key and step inside my house... I stopped.
My hand froze on the cold metal of the gate.
I closed my eyes, taking a very deep, ragged breath.
Slowly, deliberately, I raised my hands to my face.
I wiped every trace of tears, smudging the makeup but clearing the evidence of my breakdown.
I smoothed my hair back, fixed the collar of my coat, and lifted my chin, restoring that cold, composed mask I wore for the world.
No, I can't let her see me like this.
And I couldn't... I REFUSED... to let her see me looking so wrecked, so guilty, and so weak. She worries enough.
When I felt I was composed enough, I unlocked the gate and stepped into my house.
The silence that greeted me was heavy. The lights in the living room and kitchen were dimmed, exactly how I left them hours ago. My eyes immediately scanned the large sofa, but she's not there.
The living room is empty.
My heart sank a little.
I quickly removed my heels, placing them neatly by the rack, trying to make as little noise as possible. Baka tulog na siya. She might be tired.
I walked quietly to mu room, my feet padding softly against the tiles. I reached my bedroom door. I stood there for a second, my hand hovering over the doorknob.
I turned it slowly, carefully, not wanting to make a sound. I pushed the door open just enough to peek inside, half expecting to see her sleeping figure under the duvet, her messy hair fanned out on the pillow.
But the room was dark. And empty.
The bed was perfectly made. No indentation on the mattress. No sign of her coat. No scent of her perfume lingering in the air.
Wala siya.
Panic, different from the fear I felt with Ryan, surged through me. This was worse. This was the fear of her being upset.
natatakot ako ng sobra everytime I have no idea where she is. She could leave me anytime, and worst.. might not comeback.
I pulled out my phone with trembling hands. My fingers slipped as I searched for her name on my contact list. Zarya
I pressed dial, and it rang for a few seconds.
"Please answer, Zarya. Please." I whispered in myself trying to calm down.
But the call went through to voicemail.
I know she's upset, but hindi niya ako pwedeng pagtaguan ng ganito.
I called again.
Oh thank God, she picked up.
She picked up.
But there was nothing. Dead silence. No "Hello?" No "Iris?" No sound of breathing. Just heavy, suffocating silence that screamed louder than any shout.
I closed my eyes, biting my lip so hard I almost tasted blood. I knew her. I know my girl. And this silence... this meant STORM.
I broke the silence first, my voice coming out so soft, so fragile...a tone I never knew I had inside me, reserved only for her.
"Zar?" I whispered.
I tried to sound like the gentlest woman in the world for her. I tried to pour all my love, all my apologies, all my longing into that single word.
From the other line, a beat passed.
"Hmm?"
Her voice. God, her voice.
It sounded so... empty. So void of emotion. Cold. But underneath that emptiness, I heard the heaviness. The pain. The frustration. It was the voice of a woman who had been waiting, worrying, and hurting for hours.
It broke my heart into a million pieces right there on the spot.
I lowered my head, staring at the wooden floor, feeling small and guilty.
"Where are you, my love?" I asked softly, pleadingly. Please tell me you are near. Please tell me you haven't left me.
Zarya let out a short, dry chuckle that held no humor only pure sarcasm and poison.
"Why?" She asked, her tone sharp and cutting right through my chest. "tapos na ba oras mo sa iba?"
Para akong sinasaksak.
I flinched as if she was physically here and hit me. She thinks I am only calling because I have free time now. She thinks I treated her like an option.
"Are you home?" I asked again, ignoring the sting, desperate to find her.
"Yes."
Just one word, cold and final.
And before I could utter another word, before I could beg her to listen, before I could explain...
The line went dead, she hung up on me.
Zarya Eir De Luca... the woman who worships the ground I walk on... just hung up on me.
I bowed my head completely and felt the tears fall again. Ob God... how do I clear this up? paano ko sasabihin sa kaniya lahat ng nangyari kanina?
I didn't waste another second crying there.
She's at her house, and probably thinking the worst of me.
I ran outside, and grabbed my car keys, shoved my phone into my pocket, and practically sprinted to my car. I revved the engine, speeding out of my driveway, heading straight toward her house .
While driving... my mind was a chaotic mess.
How do I explain? If I tell her Ryan na sinundo ako ni Ryan... she will lose her mind with jealousy. She will think I chose him. If I tell her about the proposal... she will think I was considering it. If I tell her I didn't answer her calls... she will think I ignored her intentionally.
Anong sasabihin ko sa kaniya? Yes, I ended things with Ryan. Pero alam kong hindi din naman yun ganon kadali, I know Ryan won't give me up that easily lalo na at ilan taon niya rin akong hinintay.
My grip on the steering wheel tightened until my knuckles turned white. The traffic lights blurred through my tears.
She is mad. She is furious. And I don't blame her.
But I knew one thing for sure.
I am going to her house tonight. I am going to kneel if I have to. I am going to tell her everything... even if it destroys me. Because keeping secrets... that is the only thing that can truly destroy us.
I stepped on the gas harder, racing against time, racing against her anger, racing to get back to the woman who owns my entire existence.