Chapter 41
KAI
“You alright, Cap?” Callum said, walking next to me down the corridor, his trainers squeaking against the floor, the day after the ordeal with Alex. “Something on your mind?” He slung an arm over my shoulder, pulling me slightly off balance.
“Huh?” I said, snapping out of my thoughts.
I blinked hard, trying to drag myself back into the present.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Alex.
My mind was a constant reel of Alex Taylor, and I felt like I was losing my grip on reality.
History was next, and I already knew he probably wouldn’t even look at me.
“That’s the third time you’ve zoned out on me today.” Callum tightened his grip on my shoulder, giving me a little shake like he could rattle the thoughts out of my head.
“Well, you shouldn’t be so fucking boring then.” I tried for the usual banter, forcing a smirk. Even though Callum bought it, my stomach was twisting.
“That’s the last time I come to you with my problems.” Callum dropped his hand dramatically, pressing it to his chest like I’d wounded him.
“Whether to have pizza or pasta at lunch is not a real problem.” I rolled my eyes, shoving my hands into my pockets as we walked. It was true. Alex had problems - real problems - that I just couldn’t shake.
“So you were listening.” He grinned, bumping his shoulder into mine. “I can’t be that boring after all.”
“Oh, you are, mate,” I chuckled, nudging him with my elbow as we walked. “I get more excitement out of talking to my great-grandad.”
“Isn’t he dead?” He stopped mid-stride, his face falling as he stared at me.
“Exactly,” I said, grinning back at him as I kept walking, hands shoved into my pockets.
Callum blinked, then let out a loud, dramatic gasp before jogging to catch up, his trainers squeaking on the floor. “You’re a menace, you know that?” he said, shaking his head as he fell back into step beside me.
I forced a laugh, but my eyes drifted down the corridor again, toward the history room. My chest tightened. My mind wasn’t here - not really. It was still in that kitchen. Still in that house. Still with Alex.
Callum kept talking, waving his hands around like he was narrating some epic tale, but his words blurred into background noise as I pushed open the door to history class. The hinges creaked softly. My eyes scanned the room - and landed on Alex immediately.
He looked away just as fast. His gaze dropped to the worksheet in front of him, his shoulders curling in like he was trying to disappear.
I swallowed, my throat tightening and walked to my seat quietly, swinging my bag onto the side of my chair and tucking myself in; the legs scraping faintly against the floor. I glanced over at him again, hoping for… something. Anything .
But he didn’t even glance my way.
“Hi,” I said quietly, leaning forward a little, my voice barely above a whisper.
He didn’t move. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t even blink in my direction.
He just sat there, staring blankly at the worksheet like it was the only thing keeping him upright. His jaw was tight. His hands were still. Too still.
And I hated it.
Hated the distance. Hated the wall he’d put up. Hated that I’d been the one to make him build it.
I sank back in my chair, my stomach knotting, the silence between us louder than anything Callum had been saying in the hallway.
Alex wasn’t just ignoring me.
He was shutting me out.
After twenty minutes of sitting in silence, listening to Miss King drone on about god knows what, she finally told the class to talk with their partners about a question on the worksheet. Relief washed through me. At least this meant Alex had to talk to me. Even if it was just about schoolwork.
Or so I thought.
Not a word came out of him. He didn’t shift. Didn’t look up. Didn’t even pretend to read the question.
“Alex,” I said, leaning slightly toward him, lowering my voice. “Are you seriously just going to ignore me all day?”
Again, he didn’t react.
The silence between us stretched, thick and suffocating. My stomach turned. I hated this. I hated how far away he felt when he was sitting right next to me. Hated how different he was now from the happy, bubbly Alex who beat me at COD yesterday.
“Alex,” I said, nudging his shoulder gently, my fingers brushing the fabric of his sleeve. “I’m sorry. I know I overstepped, but can you blame me? After everything with your mum last night-”
“Don’t talk about her here.” He snapped his head up, his deep brown eyes finally meeting mine, sharp and warning. “Or anywhere else for that matter.”
And I was relieved. Ridiculously relieved.
Even though he was annoyed at me. Even though he was telling me off. Even though his voice was low and tight and full of things he didn’t want to say.
I was happy he was talking to me.
“Okay,” I whispered, leaning in just a little, my voice barely carrying over the low hum of the classroom. “Just hear me out.”
He shifted like he was about to cut me off, but I pushed on before he could.
“I’m not going to say anything you don’t want to hear.
” I lowered my voice so just the two of us could hear.
“I just… I’m sorry. Okay?” My voice cracked, and I swallowed hard.
“For everything… I shouldn’t have started asking questions,” I continued, lowering my voice even more.
“Especially after you told me you didn’t want to talk about it.
” I rubbed the back of my neck, heat creeping up my face. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”
His jaw twitched, the smallest movement, but it was enough to tell me he heard me.
“I promise I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” I leaned forward, elbows resting lightly on the desk. “I would never want that.”
His gaze held mine for a second - just a second - before he looked away again, jaw tightening as he shifted in his seat. And I sat there, heart thudding, clinging to that tiny moment of eye contact like it was the first breath I’d had all day.
I leaned back in my seat with a sigh.
“It’s fine,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper as he kept his eyes glued to the page, not daring to look up.
And even though he didn’t make eye contact with me - or move his eyes off the worksheet in front of him for that matter - something inside me eased and my shoulders dropped a fraction.
“Oh, thank god,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, the tension bleeding out of me in one shaky breath.
“That doesn’t mean I want to be friends again,” Alex said firmly, his fingers tightening around this pen.
And that one hurt. It hit low, sharp, like a punch I wasn’t braced for.
“Don’t be like that.” I shook my head. “I said I was sorry.” I leaned in slightly, trying to catch his eye. But he just shook his head.
“Alex.” I leaned closer, my voice barely above a whisper.
“I don’t think we should talk anymore.” He pulled the worksheet closer, like it could shield him.
“What about the assignment?” I said, leaning in slightly, trying to keep my voice steady even as my stomach dropped.
“What about it?” he muttered, still not looking at me, his jaw tightening as he scribbled something on the page.
“Are we still meeting at lunch?” I asked, my knee bouncing under the desk without me realising, my fingers gripping the edge of my chair.
He shrugged, a small, dismissive lift of his shoulder. “I’m busy.”
The words landed like a door closing in my face.
Quiet. Final. Cold.
And all I could do was sit there, staring at the side of his face, feeling the distance between us stretch wider than the desk separating our chairs.
“Of course you are.” I sighed to myself, leaning back in my seat again.
I felt my jaw tense, the muscle ticking as I stared down at the worksheet without really seeing it.
The classroom noise faded into a dull hum around us - chairs scraping, pens tapping, Miss King muttering something about sources - but none of it landed.
Getting back into Alex’s life was not going to be easy. He’d made that painfully clear.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try my damned hardest.