Chapter 43
ALEX
I knocked on Coach Lorenzo’s office door in the PE building with my heart in my throat.
My knuckles barely made a sound, but it felt loud enough to echo. If it wasn’t bad enough seeing Kai twice a week in history, now I had to see him every Monday and Wednesday after school too.
He didn’t look up at me right away, too engrossed in whatever he was doing on his computer. His fingers tapped a few more keys before he finally glanced over.
“Oh, hello, Alex,” he said, lifting his mug and drinking the last dregs before setting it down with a soft clink. He stood, stretching slightly, steam from the mug curling around his face as he smiled. “Just the man I wanted to see.”
He grabbed a loop of keys off his desk and headed for the door without hesitation, clearly expecting me to follow.
“You doing okay?” he asked over his shoulder, pausing just long enough to look back at me.
“Yeah.” I nodded quickly, stepping after him, my bag bumping against my hip.
“I hope you’re not dreading this too much.” He glanced back at me as we fast-paced it down the corridor. “Do you know many of the football lads?”
“Some of them,” I said, trying to keep up.
Kai’s face flashed in my mind, and I swallowed.
“Great, then this should be easy for you.” He smiled again, upbeat as always. “I’ll introduce you anyway.”
I nodded again, keeping my eyes on the floor tiles as we stepped outside.
We walked out of the building and toward the shed by Graffiti Wall.
The air smelled like damp grass and old chalk.
Coach unlocked the shed quickly, the metal door groaning as it swung open.
It was funny - after all the times I’d sat on the wall over the years, right behind this shed, I’d never once seen inside it.
It was dark and smelled like dust and cobwebs.
Light spilled through the translucent window in broken patches, the glass so dirty it barely counted.
There was a narrow walkway through the middle, and on either side were boxes filled with equipment - balls, hula hoops, old nets, javelins from sports day.
Coach bent down, picked up a box, and handed it to me.
“You alright with that?” he asked, watching my grip.
I nodded. It wasn’t too heavy. Just bibs and cones. Manageable.
Coach grabbed a huge bag filled with footballs. It was big, the drawstring top bulging. He slung it over his shoulder like it weighed nothing.
I was glad he didn’t give that to me.
I adjusted the box in my arms, the plastic cones rattling softly, and followed him out of the shed - toward the pitch, toward the lads, toward Kai.
My heart jumped.
When we arrived on the field, the boys were stretching in a circle. All of them in their blue football kits. I put the box down next to the Coach’s bag and stood there feeling like a shell of myself, my hands awkwardly hovering at my sides.
“Alex Taylor,” Callum shouted when his eyes met mine. He was standing next to Kai, who also had his green eyes on me. “What are you doing here? You joining the team?” He grinned, nudging Kai with his elbow.
I shook my head, but Coach filled him in for me.
“No, he’s not joining the team,” Coach said, stepping forward with the authority only he had. “He will be helping me out for the term.” He clapped a hand on my shoulder briefly before moving past me.
“What, like an assistant?” Bryce called out, and a chuckle rippled through the group. A few of the lads smirked, nudging each other.
But Kai didn’t laugh. He gave me a small smile - soft, quick, almost apologetic. I looked away immediately, pretending to adjust the box at my feet.
“Yes, like an assistant,” Coach said, clapping his hands together to get them focused again. He stepped back, surveying the group like he was already planning drills.
“Alright, Alex!” Callum shouted. He had a bruise under his eye that had darkened since yesterday, and he gave me a thumbs-up like it was a badge of honour. I forced a smile back, my stomach twisting as I shifted my weight from foot to foot.
“Nice to see that fight didn’t dampen your mood, Cooper.” Coach chuckled, shaking his head as he started taking some footballs out the bag.
“Are you kidding! I wish I could ride this wave forever!” Callum enthused, throwing his arms wide. The team laughed, a few of them clapping him on the back. “Bring on the rematch, right, boys.” He looked around, and they cheered loudly.
“Yeah, yeah,” Coach said, waving a hand to settle them. “If we could stick to football and not boxing next time, that would be great.” He gave them a pointed look.
“Preston’s the one who came in with an MMA-style slide tackle,” one of the others shouted - Henry, I thought - stretching his arms overhead.
“Yeah, he’s lucky a few hits is all he got.” Bryce nodded, rolling his shoulders like he was warming up for round two.
“Well, as true as that may be,” Coach said, his tone firming, “I had a word with their coach, and they’re not going to take the rematch if there’s talk of another fight happening on or off the pitch.
” His gaze drifted to Kai’s, lingering just long enough to make my stomach drop.
I shuffled in my stance, suddenly hyper-aware of the bibs in my hands.
“What a bunch of pussy’s,” Callum said, scoffing. Then he looked at Kai with confusion on his face. “Wait, why is he looking at you?” He jabbed a thumb in Kai’s direction.
“I don’t know,” Kai said, shrugging lightly, though his jaw tightened.
“You don’t?” Coach said, raising an eyebrow. “Well, how about I remind you. Apparently, your captain had a run-in with Alfie outside the changing rooms.” He folded his arms, waiting.
“Did you?” Callum said, turning to Kai, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.
Kai exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “He was being a prick.” His voice was low, controlled.
“You legend,” Callum exclaimed, immediately grabbing his hand for a handshake, pulling him in with a grin so wide on his face it almost touched his ears.
“Well, their coach is trying to have you and Callum out of the next game,” Coach said, his tone dropping into something more serious.
“What?!” Fred shouted, straightening up from his stretch.
“They can’t do that!” Callum shouted, stepping forward like he was ready to argue right then and there.
“Yeah, he started it!” Kai exclaimed, creases forming between his brows as he stepped forward slightly, shoulders tense. “He basically begged me to hit him.” A muscle ticked in his jaw, and I tried to hide the guilt mustering in my stomach.
“I don’t care who started it.” Coach bellowed, his voice firm as he pointed a finger at the group.
“I would have expected a little self-control, especially from you.” He shook his head at Kai, disappointment clear.
“Let’s just hope the scouts don’t get wind of this.
No one wants to draft a violent player.”
“That’s bullshit!” Callum shouted, throwing his hands up, his blue kit stark against the green of the playing field.
“Language,” Coach warned, giving him a sharp look.
“What, it is !” Callum shrugged, completely unbothered. “Cap’s not violent. It’s that prick Preston who needs to be put through a wall.” He jabbed a thumb toward the far end of the pitch like Alfie was standing right there.
“Because that would help.” Coach rolled his eyes, rubbing his forehead like he was already exhausted.
“Whatever.” Kai tutted, looking away, but I could see the shift in him - the way his shoulders dropped a fraction, the way his jaw tightened. It was subtle, but it was there. And it made my stomach sink.
I didn’t want to be the reason Kai was in trouble. I knew how hard he’d worked for this. Worked to get chosen. Worked to be seen.
And now he might lose it just because of me.
“They’re just doing it because they know we’ll lose without Cooper and Fields,” another one shouted from the back.
“Alright, alright, calm down,” Coach said, raising both hands. “I’m doing my best to rectify the situation. I’ve told them our part, but can you all try and keep your heads down in the meantime?”
The group groaned but nodded, muttering under their breath as they kicked at the grass or adjusted their socks.
And I stood there, fiddling with my fingers, wishing I could disappear into the ground.
“Right, we’re going to start off with a friendly, seven-a-side,” Coach said before splitting the team into two groups. He pointed across the field. “Alex, hand out the red bibs over there.”
He pointed to Kai’s team.
Of course.
My throat tightened as I picked up the stack of red bibs, the fabric slipping slightly in my hands. The lads were already jogging over, Kai among them, waiting.
And I had no choice but to walk straight toward him.
I handed the bibs out quickly, averting my eyes, but I couldn’t help looking at Kai when I gave him his. He took it from me fast, fingers brushing the fabric, not mine. He didn’t smile. His face didn’t soften. He just… took it. Like I was anyone and no one at the same time.
I couldn’t work out the emotion behind the green in his eyes.
Anger?
Resentment maybe?
Something colder?
Whatever it was, it hurt.
No - It fucking killed.
And I know it’s my fault because I told him not to talk to me. I told him we shouldn’t be friends. I told him to stay away. But seeing him now - the way he barely spared me a second glance, the way he didn’t even try.
It felt final. It felt like he was done trying to make our friendship work. Like he’d finally listened. Like he’d finally given up. And I didn’t blame him.
Because now he had something on the line. His future. His chance. Everything he’d worked for.
And I was the risk he couldn’t afford.
I swallowed hard, the bibs suddenly too light in my hands, like they were the only thing keeping me tethered to the ground.
Coach blew the whistle, and the boys started playing.
Standing on the sidelines, I had to make an effort not to watch Kai, but my eyes betrayed my mind, tracking him even when I tried not to.
The thought of everything he’s worked for slipping through his fingers like sand, because of me, made the guilt pull even harder in my chest.
“Coach?” I said quietly, creeping up behind him, my voice barely carrying over the sound of studs hitting grass.
“Yeah,” he looked down at me quickly before putting his eyes back on the game, arms folded across his chest.
“There’s, erm, something I need to talk to you about,” I said quickly, nerves bubbling in my stomach as I shifted from foot to foot.
“Sure, what is it?” He turned to face me now, crease lines forming on his brow as he gave me his full attention.
“The fight yesterday, between Kai and Alfie, that, uh… that was my fault.” I sighed, trying to still the way my fingers were shaking as I rubbed my palms together.
“You’re somehow involved in this, too?” He shook his head, exasperated. “You’re supposed to be keeping your head down.” His tone wasn’t harsh, just tired.
“I know… If you want to give me more detentions, I wouldn’t blame you,” I said, scratching the back of my neck and dropping my gaze to the grass. “I just don’t want Kai to get in trouble for something I caused. He was only trying to help me.” My voice cracked on the last word.
Coach sighed, long and heavy. “So what happened?”
I explained as best as I could without going into too much detail - just enough for him to understand. Coach nodded slowly, his jaw tightening as he listened.
“So, this Alfie kid, he was causing you trouble too?” He put his hands on his hips in a very coach-like way, his stance widening.
I nodded, swallowing hard.
“Alright. Thanks for telling me,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’ll give Westley another call later.” He gave me a small nod, then turned back to the pitch. And I stood there, the wind brushing against my face, wishing the knot in my chest would loosen.
But it didn’t.