Chapter 61
KAI
“You should have seen the way Amanda was looking at me,” Callum said, leaning back on his beanbag, controller in hand, letting out a low whistle. “She wanted me, mate.” He stretched his legs out dramatically, like he was posing for a magazine cover.
“Yeah, and then you fumbled her,” I said, shaking my head as I adjusted my position on the bean bag next to him.
“I didn’t fumble her,” he whined, sitting up straighter, his controller dropping into his lap. “I was being polite.” He jabbed a finger at me like I was accusing him of a crime.
“Let’s hope she knows that,” I said, nudging his foot with mine. “The last thing you want is her thinking that you don’t like her like that.”
“But I do like her like that.” He threw his head back against the beanbag, hands flopping uselessly at his sides.
“I know that, but does she?” I knitted my brows.
“Oh god.” He put his head in his hands, elbows digging into his knees. “Do you think she thinks I didn’t want to… you know… be with her?” His voice was muffled behind his palms, like he couldn’t bear to hear himself say it.
“I don’t know.” I laughed, leaning back on my hands. “How am I supposed to know what she was thinking?” I shrugged, watching him spiral like he always did when it came to girls, his knee bouncing like it had a mind of its own.
Callum groaned loudly, dragging his hands down his face until his cheeks squished. “You’re meant to be my wingman, Cap. You’re supposed to know these things.” He let his head fall back dramatically, staring at the ceiling like it had personally betrayed him.
I snorted. “Mate, I’m barely keeping my own life together.” I nudged his foot with mine, and he peeked at me through his fingers, narrowing his eyes.
“Yeah… fair point.” He dropped his hands into his lap, controller dangling between his knees.
“Just text her. Ask her out or something,” I said, flicking through the FIFA menus and sorting a team.
“You think?” He perked up instantly, leaning forward like a dog hearing the word walk .
“If you’re serious about her, then yeah.” I nodded, adjusting the formation on screen.
“Where should I take her?” he asked, leaning in so close his shoulder bumped mine.
“Fuck if I know.” I shrugged, tapping through player stats. “You’ve been obsessed with her for years, surely you know what she likes.”
“I know she likes low-cut tops and short skirts.” He raised his eyebrows, ogling the air like he could see her in front of him.
“Anything other than her appearance.” I rolled my eyes, nudging him with my elbow.
“Makeup.” He said it like he’d just solved a maths equation. “She likes makeup.”
“So what, you gonna take her shopping?” I asked, glancing at him.
He nodded, deadly serious. “That’s a good idea, right?”
“I don’t know if you wanna go shopping for a first date.” I shook my head. “She has to like you for you, not your money, and it’s not really romantic.”
“True.” He slumped back into the beanbag with a sigh, thinking hard.
“Take her to dinner,” I said, settling back and pressing start on the match. “Someplace nice.”
“Yeah?” He said, genuinely taking in my advice.
“Yeah.” I continued, “Girls love all that.”
And in that moment, I wondered if Alex would like that.
“You’re not giving him girl advice again, are you, Fields?” a voice drawled through the door.
I looked over, a smile already tugging at my mouth when I saw who it was. “Ryan?!” I paused the game and stood, giving him a dab. “When did you get back?”
“This morning.” He smirked, leaning back against the doorframe like he owned the place.
“Callum, your brother’s been back all morning, and you didn’t tell me?” I scoffed, dropping back onto the bed.
“He’s not that special.” Callum side-eyed him, clearly irritated.
“He’s just mad I didn’t bring him any weed back from Amsterdam,” Ryan laughed, tilting his head back.
“One doobie… that’s all I asked for,” Callum whined, flopping deeper into his beanbag. I couldn’t help laughing.
“I couldn’t bring it on the plane; I told you this,” Ryan said, rubbing his face.
“Yeah, well, a real brother would have put it up his arse for me,” Callum said, dead serious.
I choked on my own breath. “What?”
“You heard me. He should’ve stuck it where the sun don’t shine,” Callum said, sinking lower into the beanbag like he was making a point.
“You want an arse joint?” Ryan said, laughing. “From your own brother?”
“You absolute weirdo,” I said to Callum, nudging him. “Stop sulking.”
“How about I take you with me next time?” Ryan said, and Callum’s ears perked up instantly.
“Really?” he asked, hopeful as a puppy.
“Yes. Now will you quit whining and spend time with your brother who hasn’t seen you in two months?” Ryan said, stern but warm.
“Fine.” Callum sighed. “But I’m gonna hold you to your promise.” He pointed at him, then shot me a look. “And don’t worry, Kai, I’ll bring you back an arse joint, ’cause I’m a good friend.”
“Lad, you can keep your smelly arse joint; I really don’t want it.” I laughed, settling back into the beanbag. “You wanna play a round with us?” I asked Ryan, brows raised.
He nodded and slunk down between us, grabbing the third controller.
“Still on the way to the big leagues?” he asked, clicking buttons.
“That’s the plan,” I said as the match loaded.
“Coach said he’s got scouts coming to watch him,” Callum added proudly.
“Wow, little Kai Fields…” Ryan nudged my shoulder. “Don’t forget about us when you’re rich and famous.”
I laughed because I never knew what to say to that. “Are you kidding me? You’ll both have tickets to every match.”
Callum’s eyes lit up. “Nice.”
“So tell me, who’s the girl Kai’s giving you advice on?” Ryan asked, his fingers clicking the buttons.
“Amanda,” I said before Callum could.
“Oh… The Amanda. The one you’ve been crushing on since you were eleven,” Ryan laughed.
“That’s the one,” I said with a smirk, leaning back into my beanbag and nudging Callum’s foot with mine.
“It hasn’t been that long,” Callum muttered defensively, tightening his grip on the controller like the game was backing him up.
“One word. Isle of Wight trip,” I said, snickering as my character scored.
“That’s more than one word,” Callum shot back, narrowing his eyes at me before elbowing my beanbag to throw me off.
“That is quite long,” Ryan added from the other beanbag, stretching his legs out. “And you haven’t made a move on her yet?”
“She invited him back to hers last night but he said no,” I mused, laughing as Callum paused the game just to glare at me.
“You said no?” Ryan blinked, sitting forward like he’d misheard. “Have I taught you nothing?”
“She was too drunk,” Callum said, shaking his head as he unpaused the match. “We’d been at the pub all night, and Kai pulled a vanishing act, so I was missing my wingman.” He shot me a betrayed look over the top of his controller.
“Oh.” Ryan paused the game again, then nodded slowly. “That was a good call, actually. I’m surprised.” He sounded almost proud. Then he turned to me, raising a brow. “Where did you get off to last night then? Is there an Amanda in your life?”
“Fields might as well be a fucking nun,” Callum said, waving his controller at me like it was evidence. “But he did get off with Jessica Miller last night.”
My cheeks burned instantly, and I sank deeper into my beanbag, pretending to focus on the loading screen.
“Oh, a Jessica,” Ryan smirked, nudging my leg with his foot. “Is she nice?”
“She’s a dog,” Callum said bluntly. “But she’s also Amanda’s best friend, so I had to invite her.”
“Oh, so you took one for the team,” Ryan said with a chuckle.
“He did… well, up until he left,” Callum snorted. “Where did you go, seriously?”
“Just walked back… bumped into Alex actually,” I said his name carefully, trying to hide the smile tugging at my mouth, as if I hadn’t been the one who sought him out.
My stomach lurched a little. I wondered how Callum would react if he knew what really happened. I’d heard stories - people losing their best mates over things like this. I swallowed hard. I didn’t know what I’d do without him.
“Swear?” Callum said, leaning forward in his beanbag, controller dangling from his hands. I nodded, still focused on the screen. “See that kid everywhere.”
“Who’s Alex? Is that a girl?” Ryan asked, pausing his game and glancing over his shoulder at us.
“No… Alex Taylor,” Callum said, shifting to scratch the back of his neck. “His brother was in your year at school.”
“Oh,” Ryan said, sitting back as recognition hit. “Little Alex Taylor. He’s doing okay?”
“Uh, yeah, I think so,” I said, unsure, my thumb hovering over the joystick.
“Glad to know he’s doing okay,” Ryan said, tapping his controller against his knee. “I think about him a lot, you know?”
“How comes,” I asked, suddenly alert, my beanbag rustling as I straightened up.
“His mum was always drunk and Connor was always teasing him. Felt sorry for the little guy - he must’ve only been four or five.”
“That’s just brothers, though,” Callum added, shrugging. “You teased me all the time.”
“No.” Ryan shook his head, a far-away look on his face. “This wasn’t like that. I wouldn’t have done half the shit he did, to you.”
My grip tightened on the controller.
“What kind of things?” I asked, voice low, trying to seem like I didn’t care as much as I did.
“I dunno… like shutting him in the garden in winter and not letting him come in. Or holding him down and making him eat worms. Breaking his toys. Being rough with him. Just shit like that.” Ryan spoke while absently tapping his controller against his knee, eyes fixed on the paused screen.
“That’s fucked,” Callum said, dropping his controller into his lap as he leaned back in his beanbag.
“Didn’t you do anything?” I asked, jaw clenching as I sat forward, anger simmering under my skin.
“I tried… I told Connor to back off, but he always brushed it off. Said it was just a bit of fun. Or he’d get annoyed and we’d fight.” Ryan shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “He’s just bad news.”
Then he looked at us, eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re not involved with any of that, are you?”
I shook my head automatically, fingers tightening around my controller. But I was involved. I was tangled up so deeply in Alex Taylor that I wouldn’t even know how to get out if I tried.
“Good,” Ryan said in a protective brotherly way as his eyes flicked to Callum, nodding once as he shifted in his beanbag. “I’m glad Alex is doing okay, but I would stay as far away from that family as possible.”
“Noted,” Callum said with a nod, lifting his controller again like he was ready to unpause the game.
Ryan’s words hung in the air longer than they should have.
I forced my jaw to unclench, rolling my shoulders back like I was just stretching. My fingers loosened around the controller, even though they still felt stiff, like they didn’t quite belong to me.
I didn’t want them seeing the way my stomach had twisted. Or how my chest felt tight. Or how every word Ryan had said about Connor was replaying in my head like a film I didn’t want to watch. I pressed start on the match, leaning forward like I was suddenly really invested in kickoff.
“Right, come on,” I said, forcing a grin. “I’m about to wipe the floor with both of you.”
Callum perked up instantly. “In your dreams, Cap.”
Ryan laughed, nudging my shoulder. “We’ll see.”
They fell back into the game easily - trash talk, button mashing, Callum shouting every time he missed a shot.
And I pretended to fall back with them.
But underneath the noise, underneath the laughter, underneath the normality of it all…
I could still see Alex.
Small. Quiet. Four or five years old. Locked outside in the cold.
And suddenly, last night - the way he’d flinched, the way he’d pulled his sleeves down, the way he’d said maybe just text - all of it made a horrible kind of sense.
I swallowed hard, eyes fixed on the screen.
“Oi, Kai, you asleep?” Callum nudged me with his foot.
“Nah,” I said quickly, forcing a smirk. “Just letting you get a head start.”
He laughed, buying it completely.
Ryan didn’t say anything, but I felt his eyes flick toward me again - brief, curious - before he turned back to the game.
I sat up straighter, masking the storm inside my chest with a grin.
No one needed to know how much that story had rattled me.
Not yet.