Chapter 63 #2
That part still didn’t make sense. It felt like when Miss King paired us for that assignment, she’d accidentally nudged the universe off its axis.
Shifted me into a different timeline. One where I mattered.
One where someone like Kai Fields looked at someone like me and saw something worth choosing.
One where he kissed me like he needed me.
Like he’d been waiting for me.
Like I was something he’d been craving without realising it.
I walked beside him, trying to breathe normally, trying not to float off the pavement, trying to believe this version of my life was allowed to exist.
But loud music jerked me out of the fantasy in my head. The bass thudded through the car park, and any version of myself with my head in the clouds tumbled fast into concrete reality.
It was Connor.
Parked crookedly in the school car park, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, arms crossed as he leaned against the car.
Even from a distance, I could see the tension in his shoulders, the way his fists were clenched at his sides.
I knew his tells. I knew the difference between annoyed and angry , and this was the latter.
It wasn’t common for him to pick me up from school, and the moment I saw him, my stomach dropped.
The smile faltered off Kai’s mouth as he followed my gaze. The engine was still running. Connor’s stare was fixed on me… then on Kai. Sharp. Mean. Unblinking.
I swallowed hard and forced my shoulders to relax, even though every instinct in me screamed to tense, to run, to disappear.
Kai slowed beside me, his steps matching mine. “Is that your brother?” he asked, brows tightening as he took in the scene.
I nodded once, barely.
“Thanks for offering me a lift, but I’ve got to go,” I said quickly, my voice thinner than I wanted.
I could feel it wobble, feel the lie sitting wrong in my mouth.
Connor’s impatience was written all over him - the tapping foot, the twitch in his jaw, the way he kept glancing at his watch like every second I wasn’t beside him was a personal insult.
“Is everything okay?” Kai asked, his eyebrows pulling together.
“Yeah,” I said, nodding too fast. “I completely spaced. He said he was going to pick me up.” The lie slid out, but Kai didn’t buy it. His eyes searched mine, slow and careful, like he was trying to read the parts of me I kept hidden.
“You’d tell me if something was up, wouldn’t you?” he asked with concern.
I nodded again. Too quickly. “It’s fine, honest. Thank you for offering the lift, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He nodded back, but it wasn’t convincing. His jaw worked, like he was chewing on something he didn’t want to say.
“Text me… when you get home,” he said.
“I will.” I forced a smile - the kind that didn’t reach my eyes - and turned away before he could look any deeper.
I walked toward Connor, trying to keep my steps even, my shoulders relaxed, my breathing steady. Trying to look normal. Trying not to let the fear show. Because if Kai followed me - if he said anything - if Connor even looked at him the wrong way…
I didn’t want Kai anywhere near him. Didn’t want Connor to see the way Kai looked at me. Didn’t want Kai to see the way Connor looked at me.
So I kept walking.
Calm.
Level-headed.
Like I wasn’t walking straight into a storm.
“Connor, what are you doing here?” I asked when I finally reached him, trying to keep my voice as steady as I could manage.
“Get in the car, Alex.” A muscle in his jaw ticked. His tone was low, controlled - the kind that made my heart hammer.
Fuck.
Something was really wrong.
It didn’t take me long to get into the car and shut the door quickly.
The moment it clicked shut, the air felt heavier.
He was already angry - I could see it in the tight set of his jaw, the way his fingers drummed against the steering wheel like he was looking for an excuse.
Looking for a reason to hurt me. And I was going to do my best not to give him another one.
I didn’t look at Kai. Didn’t want to see him worry.
Just kept my head straight. Eyes forward, hands folded in my lap, breathing slow and quiet like that might make me smaller. Safer.
The engine growled beneath us, vibrating through the seat, and I could feel the tension radiating off him like heat.
Swallowing hard and fixing my gaze on the dashboard was the only way I could pretend his stare wasn’t burning into the side of my face.
“Connor, what’s-”
“Shut up.” He snapped the words out before I could finish, his voice sharp enough to slice through the air. “We’ll talk when we get home.”
The way he said talk made my stomach twist. His eyes stayed fixed on the road, but the tension in his jaw told me everything I needed to know. I closed my mouth immediately, the rest of the sentence dying on my tongue.
In the wing mirror, I could see Kai talking to Callum - Callum’s arm slung lazily over his shoulder, Kai’s head tilted toward him like he was listening. Kai nodded at something Callum said, his mouth pulling into a half-smile.
And mentally, I clung to that tiny image like a lifeline.
He bought it. He believed me. He wasn’t coming after me.
I let out a slow breath I hadn’t realised I was holding, my fingers loosening around the seatbelt. If Kai stayed with Callum - if he stayed distracted - then he wouldn’t follow.
He wouldn’t do anything stupid.
He wouldn’t get hurt because of me.
When we pulled up outside, my heart was in my throat.
A sick, heavy feeling dragged through my stomach, like something inside me was bracing for impact.
I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to go in that house.
Every part of me felt rooted to the seat, clinging to the last few seconds of safety before the door opened.
Connor didn’t give me the chance.
He marched around the side of the car, yanked the door open, and grabbed me by the blazer. The fabric tightened against my chest as he dragged me out, his grip rough, impatient, like he’d been holding this anger in the whole drive and was finally letting it spill.
Panic surged up my throat. My feet stumbled over the gravel as he pulled me toward the house, my blazer twisting in his fist. “Connor, what have I done?” I asked, breath catching. “I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.”
He didn’t answer.
He shoved the front door open and threw me inside. I stumbled forward, catching myself on the edge of the hallway table, the wood rattling under my hands. The house felt colder than outside, darker somehow, like it had been waiting for this moment.
Behind me, the door slammed shut.
And I knew whatever version of myself that had been walking beside Kai - the one who felt wanted, chosen, safe - had been left in the car park.
“You think I wouldn’t find out?” It was the first thing he said as he stepped toward me - unhurried, deliberate - his dark eyes narrowing like he was already building the case against me in his head.
“Find out what?” I stumbled back instinctively, my heel catching on the edge of the rug as I backed into the living room. He kept coming. Slow. Controlled. The kind of slow that was worse than shouting. Worse than anything. And I had nowhere to go - the sofa behind me, the doorway blocked by him.
My breath hitched. The room felt too small, the walls too close, the air too heavy.
He took another step, and I could see it now - the tightness in his jaw, the twitch in his cheek, the way his hands curled and uncurled at his sides. All the signs I’d learned to read like a second language.
“Sit down.” He said it coldly, calmly, his voice flat in that way that meant he wasn’t raising it because he didn’t need to. His eyes flicked toward the sofa - a silent command.
I didn’t move.
“I said sit down.” This time, the words had teeth. A bite. The kind that made my whole body jolt before my brain caught up. I sat down quickly, the cushions dipping under me as I stared up at him, my breath catching in my throat.
He stood over me, unblinking, his shadow stretching across the carpet. His jaw worked once, a slow grind of tension, and he crossed his arms like he was settling in for something I wasn’t ready for.
My hands curled into fists against my knees, trying to stay still, trying not to shake. The room felt too quiet, too still - like the house itself was holding its breath.
“What did you get up to on the weekend?” he sneered, eyes burning holes straight through me.
“I… uh-” The words tangled in my throat.
“Answer me when I’m speaking to you!” His voice cracked like a whip, sharper this time, as his hand struck my cheek. The sudden movement jolted my head, a warm sting blooming across my face where his hand had been a moment ago. My lip throbbed, tender, like I’d bitten down too hard.
“Nothing,” I said quickly, my hands trembling in my lap.
“Do you like getting beaten or something?” he hissed, his fingers clamping down on my shoulders. I had to hide the wince that shot through me. “Do you like disrespecting me?”
“N-No,” I whispered, shaking my head.
“You think you can sneak around this town without me finding out?” His jaw tightened, breath coming in short, angry bursts. His face was flushed, eyes wild with something I couldn’t name. “The neighbours saw you and some boy outside the house at stupid o’clock in the morning.”
Shit. He knew.
“Think you can fuck around under my roof?” he spat, bitterness dripping from every syllable.
“Nothing happened,” I said, voice cracking. “He’s just a friend.” A lie. A desperate one. Tears slipped down my cheek, stinging the already tender skin.
“A faggot like you doesn’t have friends.” He spat, his hand connecting with my cheek again. The room blurred for a moment, the smell of stale smoke from the sofa filling my nose as my head pressed into it.
“Give me your phone.” His hand shot out, palm open.
I flinched at the suddenness of it and slowly leaned up.
“W-what?” I shuffled back, the world tilting slightly, the metallic taste of fear thick on my tongue.