Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Zander
Beau and I are sitting and having breakfast in The Getaway Lodge dining room.
“I need a night out,” I say to him.
Darla is flitting around, making sure all of my crew are happy.
She’s the most hospitable person I’ve ever known.
The most considerate too. Neither she nor Brad has approached me with questions about my intentions for their daughter.
It’s kind of nice, I have to admit, to not have that pressure on me while I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to do this parenting thing.
The books Beau loaded onto my phone are good, and I’ve watched a few YouTube videos, but I still question whether I’ll figure out how to be a good father or not, even as committed as I am to becoming one.
“I want off the ranch,” I say again when Beau ignores my first request.
He glances up from his plate of egg whites, spinach, garlic, and peppers—everything nutritious, because that’s Beau. He’s the most neurotic person I know.
“No,” he says with a finality that pisses me off.
“No?” I ask. “You can’t tell me what to do.”
“I can tell you when you’re in jeopardy.
You don’t understand what’s out there. You’ve been off the ranch once, to go to that doctor’s appointment, and news has traveled tenfold since then.
There’s no way I can get you off this ranch and into any place secure where pictures won’t be taken.
” He forks another bite of egg whites and sips his coffee. “Why do you want off so bad?”
“Because I feel cooped up.” I wiggle in my seat like a toddler. “I feel caged in.”
“Hmm…” he says and goes back to eating his eggs.
“Beau,” I snap.
“Are you sure it’s the ranch making you feel that way?”
“I don’t need your psychoanalytical bullshit right now.” I pick up my coffee mug and watch Darla smiling and talking to everyone. What must it be like to be a person like her? So free with her kindness.
“We’re dodging the question. Gotcha. But I see you and Romy walking all the time. Seems like you guys really enjoy the fresh air.”
My coffee mug thuds on the table from my annoyance at not having control over my own life. “I’m not sure what you’re implying, but yeah, sure, I love the nightly walks I’ve been going on with Romy.”
“Speaking of which, we need to talk. There’s paperwork to be done. There’re tests to be had. We’ve got to figure this out.”
I slouch back in my seat and glare at my best friend. “There’s nothing to talk about. I told you no to the paternity test. I’m not going to bring it up to her, and we’re not having one.”
His fork clatters onto the plate, and he leans back in his chair as if we’re about to have a showdown. We’ve both got temper problems, and this was probably a long time coming.
“I’m telling you now, Zander, this is a big mistake. Get the paternity test. When we have proof, we can draw up paperwork. But you don’t want to be listed on that birth certificate if you’re not the father.”
“I am the father.” My voice is louder than I intended, and a few heads turn in our direction, Darla’s included, so I lean in closer. “I am the father. End of discussion.”
“You hired me a long time ago to protect you, and I think I’ve done a damn good job.
Don’t get me wrong, I like Romy. I like her family.
Hell, this place is like fucking paradise.
Who even knew families like this existed?
Sure as shit, not us. But we’ve seen the other side of people, and you’re ignoring that reality.
You’re ignoring how many people you’ve trusted who turned around and fucked you over. ”
“Not her,” I say firmly. “She’s not the enemy.”
Beau’s hard lines on his face soften, but he doesn’t back off. “Listen.” He straightens and picks up his fork again. “I know you have feelings for her. I know she is someone special to you.”
I give him a scathing look. “You don’t know shit.”
He shakes his head. “Are we really playing this game?”
“I’m going to be a dad, but I’m not going to screw her again.”
Beau smirks. “I guarantee you’re fucking her within a month.”
“Piss off.”
“Come on, I know you better than that. I can already see it in these nightly walks. You guys are always together. Laughing and smiling and flirting.”
“She’s helping me with the video.” My eyes narrow.
“She’s helping you plan a video for a love song. A love song that—”
I point at him. “Don’t fucking say it.”
Beau lifts his hands in his usual calm down gesture.
“I’m just saying, it’s inevitable. You’re going to have a kid, so we need to put some parameters in place.
Because if you cross that line, Zan, and break things off again, it won’t go as smoothly as it did before.
She’s not just going to disappear this time.
You think she’ll want to share custody after you hurt her again?
A woman can only take so much. You’ve got to get this shit together now or stay the hell away from her. ”
I stare at my plate. He expects me to stay away from her? I can’t. She’s the mother of my child—she’ll be in my life forever.
“Yeah, I see you’re getting it now,” he says.
“You have a decision to make. Is she just the mother of your child, or is she something more? Either way, there’s paperwork involved.
Lawyers. Settlements. Child support. Visitation.
You two can’t just wander around thinking you’re average people who can figure this out as you go. That’s not your reality.”
I take a moment and think about what he’s saying. He has a point. “What you’re saying is fair,” I admit. “But I’m not going to ask her for a paternity test. That’s where I draw the line.”
“Fine. But I sure as hell hope that baby looks like you when it pops out. A test doesn’t mean you think Romy slept with someone else—it just prevents problems down the road.
It protects the kid. But whatever, we still need paperwork.
You’ve got to start arranging things with her now because once the video is wrapped, it needs to be in place before you leave. ”
He has no idea what I’ve been thinking, and when he sees my facial expression, his imploring stare turns annoyed.
“Well, that’s the thing…”
Beau blows out a long breath. “I already knew. I guessed it. I even told DeSoto. Shit, let’s call him—he owes me a hundred bucks.”
My forehead wrinkles. “What did you guys bet on?”
“That you’d stay here after the video.”
“Well, where am I going to go?” I throw my hands up at my sides.
“I don’t know. How about recording your next album? Do you want to do it here? Because if so, I’ve got to build you a damn studio.”
“I thought this would be a great place for inspiration, but the pregnancy—it changes everything.”
“Yeah, it does. But what are you going to do? You can’t just hang around rubbing her feet for months on end. You need to work before the baby’s born, so you can spend time with it after. Where are you going to live, Zander? You need to figure this shit out.”
I run a hand through my hair and pull on the back of my neck as the chair beside me slides out. Darla sits down, coffee cup in one hand, phone in the other.
“Good morning, boys. Enjoying your breakfast?” She smiles at each of us, and we answer in the affirmative. “So how are the beds in The Getaway Lodge? I changed them last year. Aren’t they so comfortable? Plush, right? I made Brad get us one of our own.”
Beau smiles politely, but my head is spinning. He can always hide it well, but I know he’s still thinking about everything we just said. All I can think is how my career keeps getting in the way of everything good.
Then Darla looks me straight in the eye. “So… this whole secret-keeping thing? It’s not going well. Supposedly people are starting not to like you, Zander.”
“What? Who doesn’t like me?”
She leans in closer. “Apparently you pulled Romy off a step stool at The Perfect Petal. Poppy thinks you’re controlling and that you aren’t about girl power. And the other day, you brought Romy a burger when she was meeting with Ben and Gillian and told her that she needs to eat red meat.”
“Because he brought her a burger, they don’t like him?” Beau asks, always my ally.
“No, but they wanted to know why she needs to eat red meat.” Darla tips her head, and Beau gives me a look like I’m a moron.
“And Jensen said the other day that you told her to watch how many pistachio cookies she was eating?” Darla cringes.
“What the fuck, Zan?” Beau asks, looking at me as if I told him I wanted to quit music and become a circus clown.
“Too much sugar. I don’t want her to get gestational diabetes.”
Beau’s eyebrows are furrowed.
Darla laughs. “Someone’s been doing some reading.”
I shrug and pick up my coffee mug to block my face.
She pats my hand on the table. “Thank you for watching out for her.” She winks, and warmth spreads across my chest at her approval. Then she turns her attention to Beau. “People are wondering. Some already think they’re a couple. We need to nip this in the bud.”
Beau sighs.
“I understand your reason for wanting to keep this to yourselves. You think you can’t trust our family.
If I’m honest, I think that’s sad. You obviously didn’t grow up with people you can count on.
” Darla’s expression sharpens, and she continues before Beau can argue.
“No, you don’t understand, Zander, because you didn’t have family love, people who have your back no matter what.
That’s what family is, and that’s what our family is.
So, I’m telling you—we’re going to tell the rest of the family.
You’re family now, Zander, and we’re going to protect you. ”
She holds my hand. Beau scoffs until she takes his too.
“You’re an extension of Zander, so you’re our family too.
We’ll protect both of you. We’ll keep the secret as long as you think you need us to.
But as someone older and wiser, I’m telling you—it always comes out.
Better to be ahead of it than behind. You’re too smart not to know that, Beau.
” She releases our hands, stands, and leaves the table.
“Fuck, I just got schooled by Romy’s mom,” I mutter.
“Yeah,” Beau murmurs.
“Did she just say we’re part of her family?” I ask.
“Yep.”
I shake my head and blow out a breath. “Fuck. That’s heavy.”
“Yeah, it is.”
But for some reason, it feels like maybe it’s the good kind of heavy.