5. Wish You Could See Yourself Like I See You
5
WISH YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF LIKE I SEE YOU
KYLIE
After a whirlwind two days in Florence where I’ve managed to eat more than my weight in gelato, we arrive in Rome, and I am stunned by the stifling heat. No one had warned me how much the temperatures would change on this trip, and now I’m grateful for the over-packing I did while I dig around in my suitcase to look for the summer dresses I hadn’t needed til now. On the other side of the room, Tara is glaring at her clothes, grumbling to herself about poor packing choices.
“See, you were making fun of me for packing too much, but now it’s an advantage for you,” I say, tossing her one of the dresses that I’ve wrenched free from the depths of my suitcase.
She holds the dress up in front of her and then looks back at me. “There is no way this is going to fit me.”
We are the same size, always have been, but for some reason, Tara insists on claiming she’s bigger. She leans towards baggier clothes, which bugs me. I love my curves, something my mother worked hard on with both myself and my younger sisters after years of dealing with disordered eating before we were born, so watching my best friend hide hers and hate on herself has long frustrated me.
“Tara, put the damn dress on. You are hot, and I don’t want to hear another word about it,” I snap, sounding more annoyed than I mean to, and she blinks at me, her face dropping even further. “Sorry. I just hate it when you are so hard on yourself. I wish you could see yourself like I see you.” Going to stand in front of her, I give her a hug before moving back to my side of the room and getting changed.
Tara looks at the dress she’s still clutching in her hand, then nods at me before heading into the bathroom. While I’ve never had a problem stripping off in front of her, she prefers to do it in private, so I head down to the lobby to wait for her, ready to explore the city.
Lincoln and Seth are already there, and I walk towards them. Lincoln notices me first and says something to Seth, who turns to look at me, his eyebrows flying up while he runs his eyes over me. I’ve caught him looking at me so many times now that I know he finds me attractive, and I revel in the attention, even though I assume he will never be brave enough to say anything. There’s no denying that there is chemistry between us, and I find myself wishing he would make a move, although I’d promised myself that I wouldn’t hook up with anyone on this trip.
This feels different to any of the guys I’ve previously hung out with, though. I’ve never had an actual boyfriend, just a series of flings, some more serious than others. But none of them ever looked at me how Seth is looking at me now, and I’ve fantasised about what it would be like to have those big, powerful hands moving over my body while he kisses me. Despite how quiet and socially awkward he is, something tells me he knows his way around a woman’s body.
Lincoln whistles at me, and I do a little twirl before curtseying, and Seth gives me one of his devastatingly beautiful smiles.
“Looking hot, Kyles,” Lincoln says once I join them .
“Why thank you, good sir.”
“No, seriously. Seth, doesn’t she look stunning?” He nudges his friend, and Seth glares at him for a moment before nodding.
“You look great, Kylie.”
I can tell that Lincoln’s interference is bugging him, so I wave it away, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable, even though I am very aware of how he is looking at me right now. He might not be so great with words, but he more than makes up for it when he runs his gaze over me again, meeting my eyes and giving me a little wink. It’s the boldest he’s ever been with me, and I love it.
“Oh wow, Tara! You look hot, too! We’ll be beating these Italian men off with a stick!” Lincoln declares.
I turn back to see my friend coming down the stairs, and I clap with a grin when I see she is indeed wearing the dress, which fits her perfectly, and the green goes well with her long red hair.
Once she joins us, she fidgets with one of the straps, and I swat her hand away. “Don’t - you look perfect.”
She gives me a grateful smile, letting her hand drop to her side, and I look back at the guys, finding Seth’s eyes on me once again.
“So, where are we going?” Tara asks, looking at Lincoln, who has become the unofficial leader of our little group.
“Well, I heard there’s a really nice restaurant around the corner. We’re in Rome. I just want to gorge on pizza and pasta,” Lincoln replies, rubbing a hand over his flat stomach.
“You did that in Florence,” Seth says dryly, flashing me a grin when I snort.
It was true - I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone pack away so many slices of pizza in a two-day period, and it was impressive.
“I wouldn’t mind a fancy dinner. We can check out the sights tomorrow?” Tara says, and Lincoln nods.
I screw my nose up a little, hesitant to say that I don’t feel like a fancy dinner tonight. I really just want to walk through the city, but all the walking has exhausted Tara, and I don’t want to push her when she’s ready to drop .
“Actually, I’m kind of up for a walking dinner. I’m keen to check out the sights, “ Seth pipes up, and I look over to see him watching me closely.
Tara and Lincoln exchange a look and then shrug.
“We can split up for the evening, I guess. Kylie, what do you want to do?” Lincoln asks, and suddenly, all eyes are on me.
I stand frozen for a moment, not loving having all the focus on me. Tara flicks her eyes towards Seth, who seems to be waiting for my answer. She wiggles her eyebrows, something she does often when she’s trying to communicate silently about a boy. She excelled at it when she was trying to convince Brianna to date Jake, and now I understand why Bri was throwing couch cushions at her.
“Uh, I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing the city at night. If that’s okay with you, Seth?” I’m pretty sure he was trying to get me to say I’d join him, but he’s so hard to read that I’m hoping I’m not overstepping.
“Sure.” He smiles, and my heart does some weird fluttery thing.
I’m beginning to wonder if I need to be concerned about how my body has started to react to this man.
Lincoln claps his hands together, and I jump a little as I’m brought back to reality. “Well, that’s settled then. Tara, let’s go have a date night and leave these two to go look at stuff. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, kids.” He winks at Seth, who goes bright red, and links arms with Tara, leading her out the door.
Once they are outside, they turn back together and give us a cheeky wave. Tara’s eyebrows wiggle again, and Lincoln looks at Seth while jerking his head in my direction.
“Fucking subtle,” Seth mutters under his breath, and I giggle while we watch them saunter off down the street.
“About as subtle as a freight train,” I say.
He huffs out a laugh. “Shall we?” He waves for me to go first, and I lead the way out the door before stopping and waiting for him on the footpath.
“Where should we go?” I ask.
He pulls out his phone and brings up a map. “We’re pretty close to the Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Steps. We could start there and just walk?”
“Sounds great. Lead the way, tour guide,” I say, falling into step beside him.
He’s so tall that he has to shorten his steps to stay at my pace, but he doesn’t seem to mind, and I find myself looking at him out of the corner of my eye every few seconds.
“Do you know much about Rome?” I ask, feeling the need to fill the silence that he seems much more comfortable in than I am.
“A bit. I did an elective in Ancient Rome in college for something different. I’d kind of always been interested in ancient history growing up, so it was good to learn more about it. This was actually the place I was most looking forward to seeing on the tour.” His face lights up, and I can hear the excitement in his voice.
Before now, he’s just let Lincoln, and now Tara and me, call the shots on what we were going to do each day, so watching him take the lead and actually do something he’s choosing to is refreshing. This is the most animated I’ve seen him, and it’s adorable.
“I basically only know what I learnt in high school and that Gladiator movie. But I love being in new cities and exploring,” I say and am rewarded with another one of those heart-stopping smiles.
“I’ve noticed,” he says, his voice low, sliding his hands into his pockets while he continues walking beside me.
He seems content to remain quiet again, but I can’t handle it, and now that I’ve got him talking, there is so much more I want to learn about him. “So, what did you study at college?”
“Sports Medicine,” he replies, and I raise my eyebrows.
“Wow. I mean, I guess that makes sense, given you work for a sports team. So, what are you, like the team doctor? ”
I notice him stiffen slightly before giving me an almost panicked look. “Um, no, not quite. Sports Medicine is more like physical therapy.”
“Okay, that makes sense.”
Doesn’t explain his bizarre reaction, though.
“What about you? Did you go to college?” he asks quickly, and I look at him for a moment before answering.
“Um, no, no college for me. It’s not as big of a deal in Australia, I guess. I just went straight into office jobs once we graduated from high school. Nothing really stuck, though. Still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
He looks over at me with a raised eyebrow. “Aren’t you already a grown-up? You’re twenty-six, right?”
“I rarely feel like a grown-up, Seth.” I grin, and he laughs a little.
“True, you definitely seem to have embraced the fun in life. I kind of envy that.”
“Stick with me, Seth, and I’ll have you finding your inner child in no time.”
“I’d really like that,” he says, his voice so low that I almost wonder if I imagined it.
But there’s no mistaking the smile on his face or the way he takes my hand, lacing his fingers through mine and squeezing gently.
Well, hell, there goes that heart flutter again.
I clear my throat while we continue walking side by side, trying to seem as though his words and actions aren’t sending my lady parts into a complete spin. “So, while I’ve got you talking so much, tell me more about yourself.”
“What do you want to know?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Boring stuff, I guess. Any siblings? I feel like you know all about me, but you’re still a bit of an enigma.”
He laughs. “I don’t think anyone has ever described me as an enigma before. No siblings, just me and my parents growing up. ”
“I can’t imagine coming from a small family. What’s that like? Are you close to your parents?”
“I was lucky enough to spend time with Linc and his siblings growing up, so I kind of got to experience both sides, I guess. But yeah, I’m close to my parents, especially my Dad.” He squeezes my hand again. “What about you? I know you mentioned your brother. Is he your only sibling?”
I shake my head. “No, we’ve got two younger sisters as well. Twins. They are six years younger than me, so my relationship with them is different to the one I have with Will, but overall, we’re all pretty close. And don’t think I didn’t notice what you did there.”
He looks over at me with one eyebrow raised. “What’d I do?”
“You deflected and put the questions back on me.”
He smiles a little. “Nothing gets by you, I guess. I don’t mean to do it, I’m just… Not great at talking about myself. I’ve always been better at listening.”
I nod. “Okay, I’ll let you off easy this time, then.”
“Oh, why thank you Miss Kylie.”
I grin. “You’re welcome, Mr Seth.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and I wonder briefly if he’s reached his word quota for the day. But when he does finally speak, my heart flutters again.
“Did anyone ever tell you that you have the most beautiful smile?”
I blink, momentarily stunned. “No… No they haven’t.”
He squeezes my hand again. “Shame. Because you should be told that every day.”
If I’m not careful, I could easily fall for this man.