Chapter 27
As soon as I left the hospital that night, I went straight to Gage’s apartment. I found her. But I also found my son, and I am wondering how, with all the electronic medical records, he couldn’t have known.
He is a fucking boy genius when it comes to all things tech, and he never found her? Not through her name change, not through Rune’s birth records. Nothing.
I have a fucking son.
A son.
Happiness and anger collide in my chest, making me feel like a storm is brewing. A tornado of regret, joy, fear, longing, loss. So many emotions swirl through my body, and I don’t know how to process them all.
But the most present one? The one taking over right now?
Anger.
How fucking could she?
She knew I wanted a family. She knew I wanted her babies. And I have one.
A son.
Is the pregnancy what spooked her? I told her I wanted a family. She should have told me. It would have changed everything. Changed it all for the better.
But she didn’t. She kept him a secret. Our Rune.
And fuck, is he perfect.
He is so smart, so goofy, so full of life and light and…her. He is so much like her. He just doused my life in color. His color. His beauty. His joy. He has just given me a reason to breathe again. To live again. He is my everything. All at once, he is mine.
And she kept him from me. I have lost seven fucking years of his life. His first steps, his first words, teaching him to ride a bike, to throw a ball. I missed his birth, hearing his first cry, seeing his eyes open for the first time.
I’ve missed eight Christmases that could have been filled with Disney movies and hot cocoa, ice skating, and pretending to be Santa and leaving boot prints on our floor leading from the chimney to the tree.
I have missed seven birthdays that could have been filled with pointy party hats, watching the eagerness on his face as he tore apart the wrapping paper, the smile on his face when I made him his favorite birthday breakfast, marking his height on the door frame and seeing how much he had grown in the last year.
Seven fucking years of my son’s life. Gone. Because of her.
Eight years I spent loving Leo. Eight years I thought if I could find her, I could fix whatever happened. Eight years, my world was Leo. And in a moment, it’s all blown away by a sweet boy named Rune, because now? Now he is my world. My light. My future.
I finally make it to Gage’s apartment and bang on the door.
He pulls it open, rubbing at his eyes. “What the fuck, man?”
I barge in, anger and confusion rolling off me in a palpable stream. “How could you not find her?”
“What?” He is still 90% asleep.
“Leo. Why couldn’t you ever find her?”
He rubs his hands down his face and goes to the kitchen, getting a glass of water. He hands me one too, and I take it.
“I told you, man. She was a ghost. There was nothing on a Leora Jean Laney. She never had a phone or any tech that I could trace. No bank account. She must have used cash, was paid under the table—fuck, I don’t know.
She never got her license. You don’t need to drive in Boston.
You can literally walk everywhere. She left no trace. ”
“She changed her name.”
“How do you know?” He doesn’t seem surprised to find this out. I just solved the problem that haunted us the last eight years, and he says it like I just told him that peanut butter is made from peanuts.
“Her son came into the ER tonight. His name, it was so familiar. He was so familiar. Rune Phoenix. I asked the woman he came in with about his mom’s name—Leo Phoenix. I knew it was her. But then I realized the boy was seven years old…”
Gage suddenly spits his water out.
“He’s yours?”
Suddenly, it hits me…like a fucking train. Boston.
“Did you say Boston?”
He pales, his eyes going wide.
“What? No?”
“You said she didn’t get her license, didn’t need to because you can walk everywhere…in Boston.”
He runs his hands through his dark hair. He’s nervous. That’s his tell.
“Yeah, you said her son was in the ER. Figured she would be in Boston if her son was.”
Gage has always been a shit liar. What the fuck is going on?
“Gage. I told you that after you said Boston.”
He is silent, staring at me with so much fear. I can see it in his eyes, he fucked up.
He knew.
He found her…way before I did.
“When did you find her, Gage?”
“Everett—”
My body takes over. My emotions fuel my legs, and they move of their own accord.
Before I know it, I have him pinned to the fridge, the back of my forearm lightly pressed to his neck.
He isn’t even fighting me. He’s taking it ’cause he knows he deserves this.
And he definitely could get me off him if he wanted to.
With his size and skills, he could have me pinned in a heartbeat. But he doesn't.
“When?” My voice is low.
“Four years ago.”
My world crashes down. My best friend. My Leora. Why are they all lying to me?
I let him go. I can’t fucking be near him right now. I stalk toward the front door.
“Everett! Fuck, I’m sorry, okay?”
I freeze. Sorry? He’s sorry? He kept Leo from me. He kept my son from me!
I can’t rein it in any longer. I spin on my heel and face the man I thought was my best friend, my brother.
“Four fucking years!” My scream is filled with agony, my voice breaking like my fucking heart at the betrayal by my best friend and the love of my life. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this? I was always there for them!
The tears are falling from my eyes. The first time I’ve cried since the day I lost her. I have kept myself somewhat together. But it’s all so much—the betrayal, the lies, the loss.
“You kept her from me, him from me, for four fucking years, Gage.”
“I didn’t know her son was yours. I swear. Everett, I would have told you that if I had known.”
“I don’t believe you. How could I ever put my trust in you again? I was lost without her, Gage, and you knew—for four years—that she was right here, in Boston.”
“The nets that I had laid out to alert me when her name came up anywhere flagged when she changed her name. I tracked her down and found she was here in Boston. I almost called you. But then I remembered how she fucking left us—you. How she left you. You were a fucking wreck, man. She promised me once she would never leave you, and she did. I didn’t trust her. ”
He is sitting on the couch now, his head in his hands.
“That wasn’t your decision to make, Gage.”
“Maybe not, but you weren’t the only one hurt by her departure. She fucking hurt me too, and then I had to see the damage she caused to my best friend, my brother. I was pissed. I wasn’t thinking clearly. But I had to see if she was…I don’t fucking know. Happy? Sad? A fucking ghost like you.”
“You talked to her.”
“No. But I saw her. I went to Henry Leo’s when it opened, a couple months after I found her.
She was smiling. Working behind the counter, serving her coffee.
Just like she did at Mill’s. Like you never existed, man.
She was happy. Then a little boy ran up to her, and she hugged him so tightly.
He called her mommy and I—I freaked out.
I thought maybe she had moved on, was with someone else, had a family.
I didn’t even think about how old the kid looked.
And after that, I stopped digging. I was afraid of what I would find. Fuck, man, I didn’t know.”
I walk to the front door. Open it.
“Four years, Gage.”
“I know.”
And I slam it, leaving behind my best friend…or who I’d thought was my best friend.
He knew. He watched me break. He watched me go back every year on her birthday, desperate for any bread crumb she may have left behind. He continued to pretend that he was searching for her.
But he had found her while I was still lost.
The pieces of the puzzle begin to come together to form the picture.
She was pregnant when she left me. She must have been around eight or nine weeks, which means she should have missed her cycle around…Christmas.
Suddenly, dinner with my parents flashes in my mind.
She threw up all over my shoes. Then she disappeared from me. Not physically but emotionally, mentally. From that night till the day she left, she was already on the run.
She knew she was pregnant, and she didn’t tell me. I begged her to talk to me, but she kept herself closed off. Why wouldn’t she come to me? I would have been there for her, for them.
Then I remember the day she ran. The check.
I dial my mother’s number. I haven’t spoken to her since I moved away after graduation. She calls, but I never answer. I think Natasha keeps her posted on what I’m doing and where I’m at. But she has never come to see me. I never brought up the check with my mom. I knew she would lie to my face.
The phone rings a single time.
“Everett? Honey, are you finally calling to come home?”
“What did you say to Leora the day you met with her at Mill’s?”
The phone is silent. I pull back to see if she hung up, but she didn’t.
“Mother. What did you say to her?” I can’t keep the anger from my tone.
“I… That was so long ago. I don’t remember.”
“What was the check for?”
“The check? How do you—”
“Cut the shit, Mother. Tell me the fucking truth.” I keep my tone low. My hand grips the phone so tight, I feel as though I may break it.
“Everett, please. Don’t be dramatic. Okay, yes, I went to speak with Leora that day.
If you were going to be with her, I needed to make sure she would be loyal to you.
I offered her money to leave. With how highly you spoke of her, I wasn’t expecting her to actually take it.
She took the money and ran. She didn’t love you. She just wanted our money.”
“That’s fucking bullshit!” She is lying. Leo never took the check. Ski had it, said she left it on the table.
She is silent again. I know she is trying to come up with a story, a lie. She is probably gripping her pearls like she always used to when putting on her mask.
“She was pregnant, Everett. She didn’t tell you.
She just wanted money. I couldn’t see you give up everything you worked for…
for her. I wrote her a check so she could set herself up somewhere nice, somewhere far from here.
Last I heard, she lost the baby, so there is no point in looking for her, sweetie. ”
But she didn’t lose the baby. More lies.
“Goodbye, Mother.”
“Ev—”
I hang up. Slam my hand on the steering wheel.
“Fuck!”