Chapter 30
Everett slides me a note, and my heart starts to race.
I am barely holding it together here. Between his flirting and his dimples and Brooke…
God, when I saw her number on his cup, I about lost my shit.
It wasn’t the fact that she gave him her number.
No, it was the fact it was on his cup. Only I can leave him notes on his cup. That’s our thing. She doesn’t get that.
Even though I am green with jealousy and I know I shouldn’t be, I’m not mad at her. Everett is a catch. Always has been. He is the all-American, blond-haired, muscular, fucking PHD holding, kid-loving dream. But he isn’t mine. Not anymore.
I watch him as he leans in and whispers something into Rune’s ear, and I narrow my eyes at him. I decided not to open his note right now. I need to focus on Rune and how he is taking all this in.
“Hey, Mom. What's that on the ceiling?”
I follow Rune’s gaze up, but I don’t see anything. “Wha—”
I look down, and an origami rose is in front of me. I look to Rune first, who is smiling bigger than I have ever seen. Then to Everett, who is just looking away, tapping his fingers against his cup.
“Hmm. Must have been a bird or something?” Rune tries to cover.
“A bird? Really, Rune? You couldn’t have come up with something more believable?” Everett gives Rune a mock glare.
“Try again.”
Rune eagerly nods. “Hey, Mom. What’s that on the wall behind you?”
I know there is nothing back there, but I play along, turning in my chair to look. When I turn back…another origami rose.
“Dude, you have to use a different tactic, or else she is going to know that it's a ruse. And space it out so she doesn’t get suspicious.”
My adorable little boy nods eagerly again. “Right, okay.”
A moment in silence. Ev just staring at all the people, not making eye contact with me, tapping his fingers against his cup. What is going on?
Then Rune drops his napkin under the table. “Oh shoot. Could you get that for me, Mom? I think you’re closer.”
I bend under the table and pick up his napkin. When I come back up…two more roses.
Making four in total now.
I can’t fight the giggle that leaves my lips. “What is going on? I do not trust you two together, already causing mischief.”
They each shrug their right shoulder, Jesus, they are so alike it's scary.
My phone rings as I was counting all their similarities. I reach into my bag, but as soon as I pull it out it stops. The missed call was from…Everett. I look back at him, and another rose has been left in front of me. That sneaky little butthead!
“Okay. My eyes are staying glued to both of you!”
Rune just shrugs. “You can’t watch us both at the same time. Eyes don’t work like that, Mom.”
“Watch me.” I scrunch my nose at him in a teasing way, and he giggles. Then he pokes his tongue out at me, and I reach across the table to try to grab it, like I do every time he does that.
When I return fully into my seat again. Another rose. Making it six in total now. I look at Everett again. He is saying nothing. Just sipping his coffee like nothing is happening.
“Mom, can I use the bathroom?”
“Yeah, sweetie. You know where it is.”
“No, not that one. Can I use the one in your office? I have to…go number two.” He whispers this part, shy about having to go poop.
“Oh, yeah, okay. Let me take you and unlock it.”
I stand and usher Rune in front of me then look to Everett. He is leaning back in his chair, legs spread wide, so casual in his dark blue jeans and brown sweater. Some things never change.
“I’ll be right back.”
“No problem,” he says, still not looking at me.
When I come back, there are eight roses. Now that Rune isn’t here, I take a closer look. On one petal on each rose is a date. The roses are all lined up in front of me, so I start with the one on the very left.
January 22, 2016
Then the next.
January 22, 2017
All the roses are dated for the same day, my birthday, for each year I was gone.
I look up at Everett. He is staring at me already, always staring at me.
“What are these?”
“A rose for each year.” I notice his leg bouncing again.
“Why?”
“That’s what I have been asking myself for eight years, Leo. Why?”
What is he talking about? Why did he make me a rose each year on my birthday? Folded so perfectly, the edges so sharp, just like his no—
No.
“They’re notes.”
He just nods.
“Everett, why did you write to me each year on that day?”
“I don’t know.” He bows his head, looking at his coffee now. Looking as if he thought he had an answer, but when it came time to voice it, he didn’t actually have the answer. I stay silent.
“I just… I needed to talk to you, but you…you weren’t there.”
I go to respond, to remind him why I wasn’t there, but then Rune is bouncing up to Everett and me. I realize in this moment that the lightness and joy that has been on Everett’s face since he got here was a mask. The look of brokenness that I just saw, that's him now.
“Did my poop trick work? Did you get Mom all the notes?”
So that’s what he was whispering to Rune about.
“Yeah, buddy, you did great. Thanks for your help. Hey, do you want to go play some ball and let Muffin sleep in the park for a bit? As long as it’s okay with your mom, that is.”
Everett and Rune both look at me. Both give me those green puppy dog eyes. And I realize I am in a shit ton of trouble with these two.
I release a sigh as I give in. “Fine.”
Rune jumps up and down and then into Everett’s arms, and Everett catches him.
We walk to the park, and I have to fight the urge to hold Everett’s hand.
Ev let Rune hold Muffin’s leash, promising me that Muffin wouldn’t run off, saying he is the laziest dog and doesn’t chase after anything, mostly just lies around and sleeps. A dog after my own heart.
When we make it to the park, he pulls out a blanket and a football and lays the blanket out for me under a tree and then tosses the football to Rune.
I take notice that he thought of me, knew that I wouldn’t want to toss the ball around, so he made sure I would have somewhere to sit.
My heart flutters inside my chest, and I scold it.
Muffin is lying next to me with his head on my lap.
Everett and Rune run off down the little hill and start talking.
“What do you think, Muffin? Is your dad a good man?”
Muffin lets out a whine.
“Well, if you think so, then tell me why he didn’t want Rune or me?”
Muffin uses his nose and nudges my hand, lifting it then wiggling his head under my hand.
“Fine, you greedy pup. I’ll give you pets.”
Then I proceed to scratch behind his ears while I watch Rune and Everett.
Everett has the ball in his hands, and he is leaning down talking to Rune, pointing to various spots on the ball and then moving his wrist and arms slowly, like he is going to throw it.
Then he motions to Rune, who takes off running. Everett yells out, “That’s good.”
Rune stops and faces Everett, who throws him the ball with a perfect spin, landing right at Rune’s small chest. Never missing his target.
My mom heart jumps for a minute, thinking that he is going to hurt my little man with how hard I know he can throw, but Rune catches it and laughs.
He held back his strength so it didn’t hurt our—my son.
I smile. Then Rune throws it back. It goes end over end instead of twisting in a perfect spiral, and Rune lets out a frustrated sigh.
Ev still catches it, having to run a few feet to the side to do so, and then walks up to Rune.
He gets down on one knee, puts his hand on his shoulder, and says something to him.
Rune nods, and then his face lights up again.
They throw the ball back and forth for what feels like hours, Rune getting better and better each time.
The pride in my heart is reflected in Everett’s eyes.
He is so great with him. I knew he would be an amazing father, but why did he have to leave us?
Why could he not see all those years ago how Rune was a blessing, not a burden?
I pack away the budding warmth in my chest toward Everett and remind myself of his final note to me. The one that shattered my heart, my trust… Me.
When Everett is done, he comes up and flops down on the blanket. His sweater rides up as he lifts his arms over his head. The vee of his muscles and happy trail leading to my paradise draw my eyes.
Fuck.
Me.
How did he get even more perfect than he was at eighteen?
He catches my eye then smirks and winks at me. He actually fucking winks at me. How dare he. Stupid perfect muscles.
I look away toward Rune, who is tossing the ball up into the sky and catching it over and over. “You were really great with him today.”
“I know.”
I whip my head to him, curls slapping me in the face and my hand smacking him on the chest.
“You arrogant—”
He catches my wrist in his hand. Then places a soft kiss to my inner wrist. The feel of his lips on my skin has me wanting so much more. Shivers break out all over my body, and I pull my hand back.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?”
He is sitting up now, weight leaning back against his one arm, the other slung over his cocked knee.
“Stop…all that. The flirting, the soft touches. Stop trying to make me fall for you again. It’s not happening. I don’t love you anymore.”
Keep lying to yourself, Leo.
Shut up, pesky voice.
“You’ll love me, one day.”