Chapter 31
Knock, knock, knock.
Go. The. Fuck. Away.
That’s what I want to say.
What do I do?
Internally pout and let out a groan then drag my ass out of bed and answer the door.
Then I let out an actual groan.
“Nat, what the fuck are you doing here?”
She is dressed in a tan trench coat, black heels, and her blonde hair falls over her shoulders like a golden waterfall.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
As much as I want to slam the door shut and crawl back into my warm, king-sized bed, I actually need to talk to Nat. So I reluctantly motion her in.
When I do, she turns and unties her trench coat to reveal a deep-red lace bra and pantie set with a garter belt and stockings.
“Surprise.”
Her body is toned and tan, a fake tan that she keeps during the winter months. There isn’t an ounce of fat on this woman. To the majority of the male population, she is perfect. And I would be lying if I said she wasn’t beautiful and sexy, but she isn’t Leo. She never could be.
Leo is soft and full. She is a woman in every sense of the word.
Even as a teenager, her curves were mesmerizing, comforting, a safe space I could bury myself into.
Everything on her is bigger and better—the way she moves, the sway of her hips, and don’t even get me started on her delicious, bitable ass.
I love her soft tummy. Perfect to leave nips on.
I love feeling her thighs, so soft and plush in my large hand.
With her wrapped around me, I’m home. There is no pressure to be perfect, physically or emotionally, when you’re surrounded by someone who loves and accepts imperfection.
Being with Nat is like driving a sports car.
It’s sleek and fast, fun. I tried biting at Nat’s stomach, claiming her, but there was nothing for me to grab hold of, nothing to sink my teeth into.
But being with Leo, it’s like coming home.
She is luxurious. She takes her time, savoring every moment.
She appreciates my love more because in her silly little brain, she thinks no one could love her at her size.
But the opposite is true. I would fucking die for her.
Fuck. Now I’m hard thinking about Leo but standing in front of Nat. Jesus, what a mess.
I walk up to Nat and close her coat, tying it back up for her.
The look of rejection on her face hurts.
I don’t love her like I do Leo, but I have known her for as long as I can remember.
I have always been honest with her, told her time and again that I am incapable of caring for her the way she desires and cares for me, but she continues to come back.
“Nat. We need to talk.” I guide her to the couch and go grab a glass of water for her and myself then come back and sit across from her, planting myself on top my metal coffee table and handing her the glass. I can see in her eyes that she knows where this is going.
“Don’t. I don’t want to hear you say that this is over.”
I stay silent.
“Did you find her?” The tone in her voice has an edge to it. Sorrow mixed with anger.
“I did.”
“She left you, Everett. I’ve stayed. I’ve been here the entire time!” The tears start to fall from her eyes.
“I didn’t ask you to be here, Nat. I told you that we were done, to not contact me, but you did. You reached out, knowing that I couldn’t have a future with you because I already belonged to another.”
Her eyes widen then pull inward in a frown. “You never told me not to contact you. Not that I would have listened.” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest.
“Yes, I did. In my letter that I wrote to you, after Leo and I got together.”
Now she really looks confused. And now I’m confused. Did my mom never deliver the letter like she said she did? Was she hoping that if she didn’t deliver it that I would change my mind?
“Everett, you never gave me a letter.”
“I didn’t. My mom did. I wanted to, but she just took it off my desk. Told me that she saw it was addressed to you and delivered it. I guess she thought it was something else. I’m sorry you had to receive that from my mom and not me. But you never brought it up, so I thought you understood.”
She stands now, clearly frustrated at this situation, and starts to pace, her heels clacking against the floor.
“Jesus, Everett, I would remember a fucking breakup letter from you. I never got one!”
The fuck?
I shake my head, trying to clear my brain of the confusion that has infiltrated it. What the hell happened to that letter?
“Okay, fine, it doesn’t really matter now anyway. But Nat, this…” I motion between us. “This needs to be done. For real this time.”
“No, please, Everett. She is going to leave you again. Then I will be left to pick up the pieces…again!”
“You never picked up my pieces, Nat.” They are still left all over the fucking floor of Mill’s Coffee House.
The anger is gone from her expression. I think it is finally hitting her that we are done, officially, finally. Whatever this…release was, it’s over.
“Don’t come crawling back to me when she leaves you again, Everett. Because she will, just like last time.”
With that, she storms out of my apartment, and I let out a relieved sigh.
There is a heaviness that leaves my body, like a weight lifted off my shoulders now that she and I are over.
I’ll always have a soft spot for her—I’m not built to not care, especially for someone I have known as long and as intimately as Nat, but I feel at peace, honestly.
Ready to move forward and chase my pretty bird.
And speaking of pretty birds… My phone dings with an incoming text.
Pretty Bird:
Rune has been asking about you nonstop since Saturday. Are you free to meet us either tonight at baseball or tomorrow at the library?
Just tell me when and where. I’ll be there for both.
She sends me the address and location for both, and I save them in my calendar.
I’ll be there for everything I possibly can.
My work schedule is not normal, so it will be difficult to make everything, especially with how busy Rune is, but I’ll make sure he knows that if I can be, I will be. I will be there for him always.
I hop in the shower after responding to Leo. I’m one of those people that, once I’m awake, I can’t go back to sleep, so four hours of sleep will have to do.
My mind is racing with a multitude of different things.
What happened to my letter? Leo’s luscious thighs.
Maybe I can stop by and get a coffee for Leo before baseball.
Leo’s full, soft, delicious lips that always taste like cinnamon and coffee.
I hope Nat got home safe. Leo’s freckles and all the stars I have counted on her face, her smile, the way her lips part slightly when she gasps in surprise or anger or pleasure.
I wonder if Rune would like to go to a Red Socks game with me.
Leo’s scent, her taste, her… Fuck. Now I’m hard again.
I let the water roll down my back, coating my muscles in its warmth, lifting the tension from them.
I brace my arm above my head and lean into the wall, grasping my cock with my hand.
It isn’t the same. It’s not warm like her, wet like her.
It doesn’t fucking grip my cock like she does.
But with my eyes closed, imagining her laid out in front of me.
Her laughter as I nuzzle her neck, her moans as I grip her thighs, her little yips when I sink my teeth into her soft flesh.
I’m stroking myself faster and faster, my rough hands moving up and down, tugging and pulling, enough but not the same as if her small hands and wet mouth were wrapped around me.
And as I imagine her tied to my bed, my leather belt securing her wrists together above her head or behind her back, unable to run from me, screaming my name, I come undone.
“Fuucking shit,” I let out, out of breath and completely unsatisfied because when I open my eyes, she isn’t in front of me, her pussy isn’t milking my cock—no, I’m met with the cold black tile of my cold, dull bathroom.
When I exit the shower, my white towel around my waist, Muffin is lying on my bathmat. He looks up at me and gives me a pitiful whine, like he misses her too. I saw them snuggling Saturday while Rune and I tossed the ball around.
“I know, buddy. You want Leo snugs too? Well, get in line.”
I pat his head, and he trots off, I’m sure to find a more comfortable place now that I’ve taken over his space.
I get ready for the day, dressing in dark jeans and a navy-blue sweater. I put a Red Socks ball cap and my watch on. I pad barefoot to the kitchen and make myself some avocado toast topped with arugula and dressed with a balsamic glaze and a fresh orange.
I can't stop thinking about Nat’s letter. What the fuck happened to it? I would call my mom and ask, but I have ended that communication. For good. It’s not like she would tell me anyway—just more lies.
I need a distraction, so I go online and look up tickets for the game.
Spring season is coming up. I almost buy some great seats but decide I need to check with Leo first. She is guiding this relationship between Rune and me, even though I want to have the freedom to do these kinds of things, I know that I have to earn it.
Even though she hid him from me, she is still apprehensive and unsure of my intent with him.
I have to show her that I am in it—all his life, I will be there.