Chapter 35
“Happiness looks good on you, LJ,” Cole’s spirited voice whispers in my ear as she walks behind me.
I couldn’t stop the blush rising up my cheeks if I tried.
Two weeks ago, Ev and I decided to start “dating” again.
God, that sounds fucking weird. What we have is so incredibly beyond dating that it’s almost offensive to say that.
Every day that Ev hasn’t had to work, he has been with Rune and me, and although we keep the touching and kissing away from Rune, that kid is too smart for his own good.
I see the way he looks between us with a sparkle in his eyes.
He is so happy to have a man in his life, and he doesn’t even know that Ev is his real father.
I could kick myself for not telling him when Ev first met us at the coffee shop. I was just so scared that Ev would leave us again. I didn’t know the truth then. I need to bring it up, and Ev and I can decide when and how to tell Rune the truth.
It’s slow at the shop right now, typical for a Tuesday afternoon.
The few customers seated are tapping away on their computers or just people watching with headphones on, probably listening to some audiobook.
It’s peaceful here, quiet. Don’t get me wrong…
I love when it’s busy because that means more customers enjoying our coffee, but it's these quiet moments, only the blur that the noises of the city makes, that make me feel most at home.
Makes me remember the first time I set foot in a city, with Ev and Gage.
And my sweet Gage, I can’t even bring myself to think about him right now. Not with everything happening with Ev and Rune. Too many thoughts are clouding my brain.
I think about Ev and his devotion to Rune and me, even after all I have done.
I think about Miss Dianna and how, without her, I don’t know that I would have made it through.
I think about Cole and how she completely contradicts me in the best ways.
Where I am shy, she is outgoing. Where I shelter in to find comfort with my darkness, she drags me out to experience the light. Where I am weak, she is strong.
“Thank you, Cole.” I bump my hip into hers as we both stand at the bar, me drying mugs fresh out of the washer and her refilling the syrup bottles.
“For what?” She hip bumps me back.
I shrug my shoulders like what I am about to say is some small feat. “For accepting me. Loving me. Being there for me. For teaching me how to properly take care of my curls.”
She laughs, such a loud, wonderful, infectious laugh. “Oh girl, you desperately needed help with those curls. It was atrocious. I’d never seen so much frizz, and I grew up in a beauty salon.”
I stick my tongue out at her, “Okay, okay, don’t remind me!”
“But on a serious note. I mean it, you are fucking shining girl. I love seeing you happy. Is this what you were like before you came to us?”
“I’m only like this with him.” My gaze lowers, a twinge of pain in my chest at the thought of how Ev was without me. He wasn’t forthcoming with much into his life without me, but I got a feeling it was bad.
“Well, I want a love like yours. Color me jealous, because I am, but like a good jealous, not like a sabotage you and secretly hate you behind your back jealous.”
I flick my towel at her. “Thank God.”
She snaps her towel back at me, and I yelp. “No, but seriously, I just need a hottie to walk into my life, become scarily obsessed with me, maybe even stalker level, and dote on me and fuck me on every surface. Is that too much to ask?”
A throat clears behind us, and my cheeks flame with embarrassment. Jesus, I hope whoeve—
I fumble the mug I was drying and stop breathing.
“Gage.” I say it more to myself than him, but he hears it nonetheless.
Cole turns to look at who has taken my breath from me.
“Who the fuck is Gage? Who the fuck are you?”
Her reaction to my reaction is immediate defensiveness.
I never told her about Gage, not because he wasn’t influential to me but because he was.
I could only handle reliving so many heartbreaks.
I couldn’t tell her how not only did I run from Ev and Ski, I also left my best friend.
The boy who understood my pain. Who understood me on a level Ev never could.
Gage knows what it’s like to be hurt by the one person who is meant to love you, and that is hurt I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
“Hi, Leo.”
He doesn’t even address Cole. His aloof and callous demeanor is still in place after all this time.
But I know Gage. I know that there is a bighearted, charming man underneath that exterior, only reserved for the special people in his life.
I used to be one of them, but based on the darkness in his eyes, I don’t think I am anymore.
He nods toward a corner booth, and I go to follow, but Cole catches my arm.
“Who the fuck is that? Do I need to call the cops or beat him with my portafilter?”
I scoff at her and take the portafilter from her hand, securing it back into the espresso machine.
“Gage is…” I hesitate. Who is Gage to me now? “An old friend. He’s harmless.”
“Yeah, well, he sure as fuck doesn’t look it. But I’d fucking die for you, so just, like, give me a signal or something.”
I nod at her, honestly questioning if I might actually have to do that.
Gage was scary as a seventeen-year-old, even more so now that he has filled into his tall frame and packed on more tattoos than I have ever seen on anyone before.
They crawl up his neck and onto the backs of his hands.
I don’t even have to see his arms and chest to know that those are covered too.
We make our way to a table, and I sit across from him with my mug filled with coffee in front of me. Might be a weak shield, but it's hot if I need to throw it in his face and run. I run the pad of my finger over the rim.
“You’re back in Everett’s life, then.”
It’s not a question, but I answer it as such.
“Yes.”
“Why, Leo?” His menacing gaze hasn’t left me, and I am having a hard time staring into his molten hazel eyes.
“Have you spoken with Ev recently? I don’t know how close you two are—”
“He’s my brother, Leo. Always has been, always will be. No matter who comes and goes from his life. I have always been there.”
He places a particularly furious emphasis on goes that I don’t miss.
“But to answer your question, no. We are…in somewhat of a disagreement currently.”
“About me?” You don’t have to be a mind reader to understand that.
“Yes.”
“He didn’t share with you why I left.”
He lifts his chin, looking down at me now, and I hate it. I hate this coldness from someone I used to hold so close. But I can’t blame him. He thinks I left Ev, left him without any justifiable reason or explanation.
“Does it matter? You ran, Leo, after you promised me you wouldn’t.”
“I know, Gage. I’m so sor—”
“Don’t!” He slams his fist onto the table, rattling my mug and drawing eyes of all those around us,
I catch Cole removing the portafilter from the machine and shake my head at her.
“Don’t you dare say you’re fucking sorry, Leo. Words mean shit, and your words mean even less.”
The hatred in his tone hurts, but he doesn't know. He’s hurt, but more than that, he is scared.
He is scared that I am going to break Ev, break my promise that I made him.
So I let him get it out, and then I’ll put him in his place like I know he needs.
Gage feeds off fear. He wants to draw it out of you, but if you’re bold enough to stand up to him, show him that you are strong enough, that’s how you gain his respect.
“You ran with his son. How could you do that? You knew better than anyone how much Everett wanted a family, a life with you, and you ran like a fucking coward. And you left me.” His voice breaks with that last admission.
“We grew so close, Leo. I trusted you, confided in you about my dad. I found in you someone who understood me, and you fucking left.”
“Are you done being a dick so I can tell you the truth?”
His eyes shift from dark to deviant. He’s pushing me, seeing if I still have fight in me after all these years.
He is silent, allowing me my time to find my strength.
“I did hide my pregnancy from Ev, and the night I was going to tell him, Ev’s mom found me at work and gave me a letter that Ev wrote.
The letter was for Natasha, ending things with her, but his mom played it like he wrote it to me.
She also told me that Ev knew about the baby.
Everything aligned so perfectly that I missed the small signs that Ev never wrote that letter for me.
So I did what I thought I had to do to protect Rune.
Yes. I ran. And I could have done many things different over the years, but like I said then and I’m going to say now…
I don’t have to defend my relationship with Ev to you.
So you can either accept my apology, because I am really fucking sorry that all this happened, and be an uncle to Rune, or you can back the fuck off. ”
He doesn’t break eye contact with me, his face like stone, not giving me an ounce of what he is feeling. Where Ev is expressive in every line of his face, Gage is solid. If he doesn’t want you to know what he is thinking or feeling, you never will.
But then a smirk pulls at his lips, even though his eyes are still dangerous. “God, I missed you, Leo.”
I release the breath I was holding. Telling Gage off is like clipping a wire on a bomb. You never know if it's the right move till you do it.
His whole body relaxes, and I can see my Gage again. I can tell he has been through some stuff since I last saw him, but he is still my teddy bear under it all.
“Why are you and Ev fighting?”
“Because I found you four years ago and didn’t tell him.”
Okay, I was expecting him to say he wrecked his car or something, not that.
“You found me four years ago and you didn’t tell him! Gage! How could you! Now I’m fucking pissed off at you.”
He just shrugs and looks out the window like I’m a fly that landed on him, not a raging mama bear who just found out that Ev could have been in his son’s life four fucking years ago!
“Gage!” My furious voice brings his eyes back to mine. “Don’t pretend like you don’t care with me, Gage Eros. We both know it’s a mask.”
He rolls his eyes. “Ev had me searching every day for you. For four years, I couldn’t track you.
Which, by the way, was really fucking irritating for a guy like me.
But then you changed your name. There was finally something on you.
I was so pissed off at you, Leo. I didn’t trust you and I didn’t want you near him, but I felt fucking awful hiding you from him, so I came here.
I saw Rune. I heard him call you mommy, and I assumed… “
It all clicks into place.
“You assumed I had moved on and started a family with someone else.”
“I was just trying to protect Everett. Seeing you like that, I felt rejected. Like we weren't good enough for you so you found someone better. I had to protect him from feeling that way, Leo. I didn’t know Rune was Everett’s.
I was too blinded by my anger and jealousy that I didn’t think about how old the kid was. ”
I lay my hand on his, and he pulls it away. Before I left, I was able to help Gage with his fear of touch, but I guess we have regressed, understandably so.
He realizes what just happened and looks at me like a scared boy once again. “Sorry. I—”
“It’s okay. We’ll get there again. And I understand. You protect Ev like I protect Rune. I forgive you, Gage.”
He takes a breath and closes his eyes. It’s as if I can physically see the weight lifting off his shoulders. “Thank fuck. Now can you convince your stubborn, thickheaded boyfriend that I only meant well, ’cause he won’t talk to me.”
I smile at him. “I’ll do my best.”
Cole comes up to us, clearly unable to hold herself back any longer.
“Who are you?” Her arms are crossed over her chest, one hip cocked and her chin held high.
“Cole, this is Gage. Gage, this is Cole. My best friend.”
“Her sister,” she corrects me. “And I don’t like you.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Gage just smirks and slowly turns his head to look at Cole. Oh fuck. I know that look. He’s about to eat her alive.
“The feeling is mutual.” He looks her up and down with pure malice on his face. “Colette Corvina.”
“How do you know my—”
“I’ll take an Americano, extra hot.” He pulls out his phone and begins tapping away.
She puts her hands on her hips. “I’m not your fucking bar wench, you fucking ass!”
He looks at her now with a devilish smirk. “But aren’t you? This is your establishment, is it not, and I don’t see anyone else around to take my order.” Keeping his eyes on Cole but speaking to me, he says, “Really, Leo, you should re-evaluate your staff. Quite rude, don’t you think?”
I curl my lips in an attempt to keep the smile off my face, but I am really failing. I try to make peace, but these two are like oil and water. “Gage. Be nice.”
Cole has her teeth clenched, and her eyes are narrowed. “Fine, that will be $3.50, and I expect a good tip.”
She holds her hand out, waiting for him to pay.
“The money has already been sent directly to your business account. And here's a tip. I am Leo's best friend and your customer service skills are severely lacking. You should really work on that."
"You are a fucking asshole!" She crosses her arms over her chest and I can practically see the steam radiating off her.
"How original. Why don't you check your account. You'll see that despite your attitude, I paid. Generously, I might add, Colette."
The way he says her name even makes me a little tingly where I shouldn’t be. I could never see Gage that way, but damn.
Cole pulls her phone out, obviously expecting to find nothing, but then her mouth drops open. “How did you get access to this account?”
Gage completely ignores her question. “That Americano? Extra hot. Move along, Chaos.”
She stomps her foot, actually stomps it, and I lose it. The laugh that explodes from my chest has Gage smiling.
“I hate you. LJ, I hate him.” Then she storms off to make his drink.
“Dick,” I mumble to him.
“Punk ass.” His fiery eyes return the sentiment.
“Fucker.”
“Bitch.”
I can’t help it. I fold over in laughter, feeling completely and utterly whole once again.