Chapter 41
“Natasha, you had one job, and you couldn’t even do that right. You’re a woman, for God’s sake, and you couldn’t even grow a fucking baby. That was your last chance. You have ruined everything, just like you did all those years ago.”
“I’m aware, Father.” There is a brokenness but also a determination to her voice.
“You have forced my hand, Natasha. It’s time I contact the Alessi family.”
“No. Please, Daddy. You can’t. I’ll figure out something. I'll get you your money. Please, I just need more time.”
"You had eight years. I can't wait any longer."
I was about to walk into Natasha’s hospital room when I overheard their conversation. I didn’t mean to be nosy, but it’s not difficult when her father has no regard for who hears his reprimand of his own daughter for something that was out of her control.
My stomach turns over.
I am not a stranger to emotional and verbal abuse—in fact, I would prefer to be hit or burned. Scars of the heart and mind are much more damaging than of the flesh.
And for the first time, I am coming to understand that maybe Natasha is just as damaged as me. She just chose to cope differently.
Does that excuse her vile behavior toward me? No. But does it give her an opportunity to make a change? Yes.
Gage called me while I was at Mill’s this morning and told me about Natasha losing the baby.
As much as I dislike Natasha, no woman should ever experience this kind of loss.
It would have killed me to lose Rune at any point during the pregnancy.
I can’t even imagine what she’s going through.
And Ev, God, this was his chance to have another baby.
I can’t give him any more, and now this one is gone too. He must be devastated.
Gage said he was still at the hospital, but I can’t imagine him letting someone speak to Natasha this way. He must not be in the room right now, which means I am the only person who can help her.
I knock on the door and step in. The room is much the same as the room I had after I gave birth to Rune. Why they would put grieving mothers and mothers who are holding their babies on the same floor, I have no idea. It’s truly cruel and should be changed. But that’s beside the point right now.
“Hello, Natasha. The nurse is going to come in shortly to do an exam to check your bleeding.” I turn to Natasha’s father. His cold stare sends shivers down my spine. Jesus, no wonder Natasha can instill so much fear into someone. She got it from her father.
“Sir, do you mind?” I motion my hand toward the door, and he narrows his eyes at me.
“I’m fine here. I will stay at the head of the bed.”
“I really do insist.” I narrow my eyes back at him, challenging him to test me. Despite our differences, the woman in me is ready to fight for the woman lying in this bed. The woman who just lost her baby.
I hold his stare, and he concedes. “Fine. I will be back, Natasha, and we will continue our discussion.”
When he leaves, slamming the door, I turn to look at her. The once intimidating, perfect girl who teased me and mocked me in middle school and high school is now a broken, damaged, and scared girl like me. I feel a pull toward her. Like calling to like.
“When is the nurse coming?” Her voice is soft but strong, despite her physical and emotional state. She runs her hands over her braid and straightens her blankets.
“Oh, she isn’t. I lied. I needed him away from you. God, he is awful, isn’t he?”
She laughs, and I…well I wasn’t expecting that.
“That’s my father for you.” She picks at the scratchy pink hospital-grade blanket lying over her lap.
She’s in a silk gray pajama set, clearly not comfortable in the hospital gown, and her long, silky blonde hair is braided and slung over her shoulder.
She’s beautiful. A spark of envy lights in my chest, but I blow it out.
You are beautiful too, Leo.
“I’m so—”
“Don’t, Leo. It’s I who owes you an apology. I already spoke with Everett about all this, but you deserve to know as well.”
I go and sit next to her bed, unsure if I should reach out my hand or keep it in my lap. I decide that may be oddly inappropriate, so I keep it to myself.
“First, I am deeply sorry for how I treated you all those years ago. I was small-minded and hateful toward anyone who threatened my relationship with Everett. He was the only bright light in my life, and I was terrified that you were taking him from me. I should have but didn’t understand that Everett was capable of keeping us both safe.
And I am even more sorry that I tried to tear you apart with this pregnancy.
I was…well, my father convinced me that a pregnancy would bring Everett back to me, securing the relationship our parents have been pushing on us since we were young.
” Her head dips, eyes downcast as she reveals her truth.
“The pregnancy was not an accident. I stopped taking birth control and lied to Everett about it. He never… He never slept with me after he found you, and to be honest, I don’t ever think it was me he was thinking of anyway. ”
I want to be angry with her. Maybe a small part of me is, but a bigger part of me sees that she is a victim of her parents’ control, just as Ev was for years, till he met me.
This time, I do reach out. Laying my hand atop hers, I feel connected to her in a way I never thought I could.
She turns her hand and laces her fingers through mine. Clinging to me. Desperate for forgiveness.
“It wasn’t until I saw the ultrasound and heard her heartbeat that I realized I had made a terrible mistake. Not her, but listening to my father. I tried to pull out of the arrangement my father had pushed upon me, but then he… Well, it doesn’t matter now. Aurora is gone.”
“Aurora? Is that her name?” I ask, stroking my thumb against the back of her hand.
“Was.” A tear falls from her eye, trailing down her cheek.
“Hey, look at me.” And she does. The same eyes that were once filled with disgust when they met my own are now filled with pain. “Is. It is her name. She will always be with you, Natasha, with you and Everett. You both share her, and no one can take that from you.”
“Why are you being so kind? I have been awful to you.”
“Yes, you have, but I don’t think that it is unforgivable or irredeemable. I think that everyone deserves a second chance. And from the sound of it, most of this wasn’t on you. Seems like you were manipulated more than anyone.”
“Don’t make excuses for me. No one forced me.
I could have told them to get lost or chosen to be brave, like Everett was with his own parents.
He really loves you, Leo, you know that?
I thought for a long time that what I felt for Everett was love, and it is, in a way, but it is nothing compared to what you two share. I see that now.”
There is a pull in my chest toward Natasha, a desire to forgive and move on.
“You may have made those choices, but choices made out of fear are not a reflection of who we truly are. I have made some decisions based on fear that I regret, and if I hadn’t forgiven myself, I would still be running.
” I stand and lean over the bed, wrapping her in a hug, and we stay there a moment, in our bed of healing and forgiveness.
“Okay, I think I may be in the wrong room. Are you two hugging?”
I pull away at his voice, and Nat smiles.
“Just some girl talk. She’s all yours.” Nat nods toward Ev.
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. I make my way to him, and he wraps me in his arms. My blanket of warmth and love.
“You came back.” He leans his forehead to mine.
“I could never resist you.”
“I know.” His tone is full of sarcasm, and I slap him on the chest.
“Okay, okay. I am still a heartbroken woman here. Take your happiness elsewhere for the time being.”
I instantly feel awful. God, how insensitive of me. But when I look at her, there is a smile on her face. She looks genuinely happy for Everett, and that makes my heart soar because there is nothing this man deserves more than to have everything he has ever wanted in life.
“Ready to go home?” I ask Ev.
“I am…but I need to stay here right now. I’m sorry.”
I know he does. That’s the kind of man he is, and I realize that the thought of him staying here and supporting Nat doesn’t pain me like it once would have.
“Okay. I’ll see you when you come home to us.”
Because I know he will.