Chapter 2
ROSIE
The sun rose like it always did. Time ticked by in its usual succession.
Sixty seconds equaled one minute, and with every minute, I told myself that I was fine—that this was fine.
It wasn’t anything I hadn’t been expecting.
It wasn’t anything I hadn’t been preparing myself for.
I had anticipated it, tried my damnedest to prepare for the day Wesley found someone significant.
Sure, he’d dated, I’d dated, but it wasn’t ever anything serious.
There was a reason he kept her to himself, kept her from me.
I knew what it meant, knew that our relationship would start to change. It would have to.
I prepared for it, I told myself, even as I found myself clutching my comforter in both hands as I refused to stop staring at my ceiling.
If I prepared for it, why does it feel like this? Tears rimmed my eyes, and they burned since I all but refused to let them fall. I couldn’t let them fall.
I prepared for this, didn’t I?
Why did it feel like the zip ties were moments away from snapping apart, like being contained was only breathing more life into it? Into a box that wasn’t even real.
Why did it feel like someone was pricking me over and over again with one of those ridiculously sharp sewing needles that always seemed to draw blood?
My eyes drifted down from their spot on the ceiling, the light of the morning a guide to my arms, just checking to make sure they weren’t littered with tiny marks marring my skin.
There was nothing but unblemished, smooth skin without a mark in sight.
I sat up, trying to shake the feeling out, trying to shake it all out.
I had prepared for this.
It might have been Saturday, and technically, I didn’t need to put any hours in, but as of lately, I had been. There was this tiredness that seeped into my bones, and I knew I wouldn’t be doing any kind of work. But then, what would I do with my time?
My mind rolled over the intrusive reality of worries I didn’t really want to think about—mainly, what my plan was from here on out.
The bubble that I’d placed my feelings for Wesley in had finally burst when I heard the way he spoke her name.
It was time to move on, but being in love with someone didn’t just go away because you wanted it to.
I’d spent the last ten years trying—ish.
Now, I was determined to put everything I had into moving on.
And that meant letting go.
Did that mean I had to let Megan and Lake go, too?
All three of them had been friends long before I came into the picture.
It wouldn’t be right to put them in a difficult situation.
Plus, my only plan was a fade-to-black situation—be around less and less until eventually, no one even realized I was gone.
I had a lot of experience with that. Being the middle child in a family of six, I tried my best to blend in with the wallpaper.
My childhood was exciting, loud, a mixture of Step by Step and Growing Pains, but with a lot more unorganized chaos.
I found it much more relaxing to blend in and not make a nuisance of myself—that was for my younger siblings.
I need caffeine. The thought was followed by a grimace, as I knew that I had finished my last K-cup, and I had forgotten to stop by the store on my way home after leaving Megan's the night before.
I thought about taking a shower, but it was early enough that I doubted many people would be out and about.
Pulling myself out of bed, I stumbled to the bathroom and threw the light on, sighing as I looked at the rat’s nest that sat on top of my head.
My honey-blonde hair always became dry and staticky in the winter months.
I never had much patience for it, and figured my stocking cap would cover the worst of it anyway.
I washed my face, applied moisturizer, and while I was brushing my teeth, was struck by how ordinary I looked. Nothing overtly exciting, but nothing terrible either. No wrinkles yet, and I always applied sunscreen.
I’m not doing this. I never minded the way I looked before, and I sure wasn’t going to start then. I was happy with myself, and that had always come first.
I pulled on leggings and a sweatshirt that had seen better days, a stocking hat that definitely didn’t match, a puff coat that I was pretty sure had a hole somewhere—though I could never find it until after I decided to wear it—grabbed my keys, and made my way to the local coffee shop next to my place.
Normally, I’d go to the drive-through, but there was a long line. There was something about the smell of a good coffee shop that always made me happy, so I decided to go in, sit for a minute, and eat a muffin.
The bell jingled overhead, and I was met with a chorus of hellos. I smiled at the workers as I ordered my drip coffee with room for cream and a lemon streusel muffin I saw that I couldn’t say no to, making sure I tipped them before I found a seat.
Scrolling through my phone, focusing on nothing but the video of a kitten in a Christmas tree, I almost didn’t hear my name called. “Rosie?”
I looked up, realized it was the barista with my order, and couldn’t help the smile on my face as I made my way to my caffeine and sugar fix. “Hello, you,” I whispered as I picked up the plate and mug, turning around to make my way back to my seat.
“I forgot how much you love sweets in the morning.” The voice that liquified all thoughts washed over me, and I wanted to sigh into it. “Good morning, Rosie.”
“Wesley. You’re here early.” It was early, especially for him. If he didn’t have to work, sometimes, I’d be calling him at 10 a.m. to get brunch, and the man would still be dead asleep.
“Yeah. Caitlin…I didn’t have the type of coffee she liked, so I suggested that we come here.”
He brought her here. To the coffee shop I showed him—my coffee shop. Oh my god, she’s here. I thought I had a significant amount more time to plan for this, to once again avoid it for as long as possible. But how could I do that now?
“Hey, babe…did you…oh! Hi!” A voice came from behind Wesley, but he was fully blocking her view, and unfortunately for me, I saw the way his face seemed to melt when he heard her voice. I wanted to vomit, but instead, I forced my lips over my teeth in a smile.
Wesley stepped aside and revealed the cutest woman I’d ever seen.
She had jet-black hair that was styled in such a chic pixie cut that I wanted to ask her if she thought I could pull that style off.
Her eyes were an electric blue and lined with blue eyeliner that only added to it all.
She was like a pixie. A perfect pixie. She held her hand out to me.
Smile. Smile. Smile.
I chanted over and over again and just hoped I didn’t look deranged as I took her hand and shook it.
“Are you Rosie?” she asked, her voice light and airy.
“Yes. You must be Caitlin. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” I hadn’t. I could see the way Wesley’s shoulders relaxed a bit at my words, and I finally realized that he seemed just as enraptured in our meeting as I was in making an escape plan.
“All of them true.” Wesley winked at her, grabbed her hand, and kissed it softly, all while never taking his eyes off of her.
I had to hold my feet in place because my first instinct had been to move backward and away from them.
But I could feel the way my knees were shaking, and I was worried I would fall straight on my ass.
So, I stood still while he looked at her like his entire world was finally making sense.
“I, uh—I need to go. I forgot I had this thing,” I blurted out, clearly interrupting a moment between the two of them. But seriously, I needed to go.
Wesley looked at me, puzzled, because I never had things, and he knew that.
“Thing?”
“Yeah, uh, thing.” I had clocked the corkboard when I walked in, filled with help wanted flyers, or things for sale, and I even saw the one about some kind of club meeting later that day. I snatched it since it was in reach and all but shoved it in his face.
“See. This thing.”
Wesley inspected the flyer with his eyebrows raising the more he read. “A book club? You don’t read.”
He’s right.
“A girl needs to try new hobbies once in a while. I gotta go. Caitlin, it was great meeting you. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon!” What? I’m panicking. That’s what this is.
“That’d be great! We should have lunch sometime.”
“Sure!” Yup. Panicking.
“You don’t read?” Wesley was still looking at the flyer, confused. I took advantage of that and tore out of the coffee shop like my ass was on fire.
But I realized too late that I had taken their mug and their plate with my muffin on it. I’d need to return the next day. No way was I going back in there now.