28. Brooks
28
Brooks
I try to open my eyes. Even my eyelids hurt. Fuck. Everything is so fuzzy. What even happened? By the smell of my own breath, I know some of it had to do with the whiskey and by the sounds I know I am in the hospital. Why can I not remember more than that?
The curtain squeaks open and startles me. I mutter a few curse words from the pain and then mutter even more in my head because they hurt less that way. When I am able to get my eyes to focus, I realize it is Audrey who made the curtains squeak. I’ve known Audrey since kindergarten, so I am happy to see her face. I take it that she is my nurse today. That must mean I am in the ER. How did I get here?
“How ya feelin’?” Audrey asks sounding much peppier than should be allowed.
“Like fucking shit,” I ground out.
“Well, that is to be expected,” Audrey replies in a professional matter-of-fact voice. “But I’m here to get your vitals and get your IV started. Doc will be in shortly to check on you and let us know what all we need to X-ray. For now, he did prescribe some pain meds so we will get those going as soon as I’m done with the IV.” She comes over and lays a gloved hand on my arm ever so gently. “You gave everyone quite a scare, Brooks. That could have ended much worse.”
I don’t even know how to respond. I still can’t remember much. But thankfully Audrey is back in work mode and busying herself grabbing supplies.
Once the pain meds are in my system, I begin to drift in and out of sleep. I wake only when the doctor comes in to see me and then later when they come to take me to X-ray. The X-ray experience is excruciating in itself so by the time I make it back to my ER room; I am exhausted and fall back into a heavy sleep.
The next time I wake up, my doctor is in the room again.
“You got pretty lucky young man,” the doctor is saying.
I feel anything but lucky right now. But I suppose that means good news is coming.
“It turns out that your hip is not actually broken. It is however a pretty nasty deep bruise, so it’s gonna be sore for a while,” the doctor continues. “Your collar bone was not so lucky though. It has a pretty good break in it, but I think we should be able to avoid surgery if you follow orders and let it heal.”
“Orders?” I manage to ask
“Yes. No working cattle. No riding horses. Nothing strenuous at all. That arm needs to be in a sling for at least eight weeks to give that bone what it needs to heal.”
I do not want to hear this. I want to sleep. But the doctor speaks again. “We are going to go ahead and move you to a room for overnight observation. As long as everything still looks good and stable in the morning, we will let you go home.”
“Okay,” I say as I let my eyes close again. They can wake me when they are ready to move me.
I wake again to the squeak of my door. I thought they would leave me alone once I was settled in my room. Apparently not. “This is a fucking hospital. You would think they would at least let patients rest,” I mumble to myself. But as soon as the last word leaves my mouth, my breath catches in my throat. “Gemma,” I barely whisper as she marches towards me across the room.
How in the hell did she end up here? How did she know he was here? Shit, she’s gotta be pissed. The ramble of incoherent thoughts is rebounding off every corner of my brain.
I feel a sharp pain on my cheek, and my thoughts begin to settle. Wait. Did Gemma just slap me? Oh shit. She really is pissed. I don't know if I'm scared or turned on. But as I look up into her eyes, I see nothing but pain and fear.The expression on her face tells me she is about to run. Without even thinking, I reach up with my good arm and catch her wrist. It takes her off guard enough that I am able to pull her back around so that she is facing me … and very, very close to me.
She looks as though she is going to slap me again. I ready myself for it. I certainly deserve it. But she doesn’t. Instead, she closes the space between us and kisses me hard. I feel my head spinning again.
“How did you,” I manage to breathe out when the kiss ends.
“Lorelai called me...and texted me...a lot,” Gemma says with a smirk on her face. “She was very worried about you and knew that I would be too.” Gemma pauses. “Not that you deserve my worry.”
I can’t argue. “I know Gemma, and I’m so sorry. I was just–”
“Stop.” Gemma holds her hand up. “I don’t care right now. We can talk about that later. I just want to know that you are going to be okay.”
“I am,” I assure her. “I’m just gonna be laid up for a while. I have to wear this ridiculous sling for months.”
Gemma’s face grows stern. “It isn’t ridiculous, and you know that. What was ridiculous was your behavior. You could have gotten yourself killed, Brooks.” Tears are filling her eyes now.
I feel utterly defeated. I look down so I don’t have to see her face. “I know. I wasn’t trying to; I just needed the thoughts of you to stop. I hurt you and it killed me. I thought I could get past that but the more I tried the more it haunted me. I couldn’t do anything without you in my damn mind. Hell, I couldn’t even look at my fucking dog without thinking about how you were with him and how much he loved you. Whiskey was my only option. What else was I supposed to do?” I look up and instantly regret it.
“What else were you supposed to do? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You are the one who sent me away like you had gotten what you wanted, and I was no longer of use to you. You did that Brooks. Not me. You pushed me away! And then if that isn't bad enough, when you realized you fucked up you decided to drink instead of be a man and call me and apologize”
I know I deserve that. I know I deserve all of this. I probably got off luckier than I should have only breaking my collar bone. All I do is fuck up anymore.
But I did the right thing pushing Gemma away. Yea, it killed me. Yea, I hated that I had to hurt her to do it. But she deserves better than me. She has too much going for her to waste her life with someone like me in a town like this. I refuse to be the one to derail her and fuck up her future.
“I couldn’t Gemma. If I called, you might have come back.” She looks pained again, so I continue, “I wanted you to come back. More than anything I wanted you to come back. But you couldn’t. You came to this town pure perfection. You had everything going for you. You had big dreams and a set future. You knew exactly where you were going and how you were going to get there.
But I couldn’t leave you alone. I fell for you so hard I didn’t know what hit me. I thought I could help you get your answers and you would be on your way. But then that fucking night on the front porch happened. I was determined to show you how amazing you are and how a real man should treat you. I told myself it was just so that you wouldn't end up with another piece of shit guy in the future. But I was lying to. I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave you alone. I was going to pull you down with me and I didn’t want you trapped here. My life is here at the ranch and nothing more. You didn’t need to be reduced to that. You have the entire world at your fingertips Gemma and damn it you’re gonna have it all.”