9. Tabitha
Ifeel Cam pulling away from me, and I hold on to him like he’s my lifeline.
Being here, like this, with Cam is a dream come true. The moment we locked lips I realized I don’t just think I love him. I’m madly and irrevocably in love with him, and there’s no going back.
I’ve been telling myself that I’ve stayed single because there aren’t any suitable men here in Maple Valley, but the real reason is that none of them have been Cam. Every date I’ve gone on—every man I’ve met—I’ve always compared to him.
Can I see myself reading on any other man’s couch while he works? Would we cook together in companionable silence? Would he understand me the way Cam does? The answer has always, always, been no. Because no one has ever, or will ever, measure up.
And kissing Cam? That is other-worldly.
Whatever is happening between us is more than chemistry—more than fireworks. If I thought wearing that corset at book club made it hard to breathe, kissing Cam steals the very oxygen from my lungs.
When I yank his head to mine for another, I think there is a pretty good chance I might faint again.
I scramble onto his lap, and Cam places his hands on my hips. He seems in no hurry to take things to the next level. I pump my hips in encouragement, but instead of tearing my clothes off, he runs his hands up and down my thighs, sending waves of desire coursing through me.
Is he not as into me as I am into him?
I’d almost believe it if it weren’t for the way he was kissing me, almost the way the Duke kisses Gabriella in The Duke’s Treasure. How did Abigail Cameron describe it? Like a man drowning.
And when I arch my hips forward, grazing the bulge in his jeans against my apex, he lets out a groan and grabs my waist to hold me still—to keep me from finding the release I need.
His hands glide up my thighs, and I wish I’d kept my book club costume on instead of changing into leggings and a baggy sweater. He draws small circles along my inner thigh with his thumb, closer and closer to my core, and I think I might spontaneously combust.
“Bedroom,” I gasp.
“Bedroom?” Cam repeats like he has no freaking clue what that means. Good thing I know where it is.
I slide off his lap, grab his hand, and yank him after me. I still can’t believe this is happening with Cam Gail. That I have him panting, and that the bulge in his jeans is for me.
I reach for his belt, but Cam grabs my hands to stop me. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go.”
I freeze, worry replacing arousal. Do I have bad breath? Am I a terrible kisser?
I made a huge mistake admitting I’m in love with him. He’s going to tell me he just wants to be friends.
“Tabs.” He raises my hands to his chest, and I bite my lower lip to keep him from seeing my heart shatter into a million pieces. “I should be the one claiming you.”
It takes several seconds for his words to register, and I realize he still wants this. He still wants me.
“Claiming?” I smile. “You’ve been reading too much romance.”
The heat in his eyes turns to worry—but I’ve had enough worrying about this being a mistake. We have years of not kissing to make up for.
I pull my hands out from under his and coax his body back against mine. As soon as our lips touch, I reach between us, unbuckle his pants, and slip my hand inside.
“Fuck,” Cam swears against my mouth as I wrap my hand around his hard cock.
I grin against his lips, because coming from Cam, fuck is the biggest compliment I could hope for. The man does not swear. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him utter the word before—so to hear it on his lips, raw with passion, does something to me.
I drop to my knees in front of him and learn something new about Cam. The curls surrounding his cock are the same fiery red as the hair on his head. I nearly blurt out “the carpet matches the drapes,” reconsider, and lean forward so I can slip his cock in my mouth.
Cam stops me and pulls me back to my feet. “Tabby don’t, you don’t have to?—”
“I want to, Cam. I want to do everything with you.”
“Everything,” he repeats. He sounds dazed as I drop to my knees again, taking him into my mouth.
He stumbles backwards, but I do not release my treasure. I use my tongue to explore his hard cock. His groan lets me know that even though I don’t have much experience, I’m not terrible at this. And that makes me moan in happiness, which somehow makes Cam even harder.
He tastes salty and smells deliciously like Cam—my best friend and love of my life and now lover all rolled into one.
Cam moans but pulls away and lifts me to my feet.
“Bed,” he growls.
It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.
But we don’t move. He drags down my leggings in one smooth motion, and I barely have time to gasp before his finger is in my panties.
“You’re so wet.” His tone is filled with amazement.
“For you.”
His finger grazes my clit. I bite my knuckle to keep from crying out. His movement is slow, focused, painful in the most pleasurable way. I watch him as he teases me, his tongue playing against his teeth in the same motion as his finger. I am on full display, and the hunger in his eyes increases the throbbing between my thighs.
“Please, Cam.”
He looks into my eyes, and mouths, “I fucking love you.”
I shatter against his fingers. The contractions ricochet through me, and I buck against his hand. He pushes a finger inside me, and I cling to him as my body squeezes around him. It’s too much and yet not enough.
Panting, I grab his hand to stop him. “More.”
Cam gathers me into his arms and carries me to his bed. I collapse and watch him hesitate with his hand on the waistband of his jeans.
“I don’t have a condom.” His tone is a combination of frustration and panic.
“I’m on the pill.”
The hunger in his eyes retreats. “Oh. I didn’t know…”
I know exactly what he’s thinking. “For heavy periods. Not for birth control. But, I mean, that works in this situation.”
He hesitates for a second before pulling down his jeans and boxers.
“I want you. I want to claim you,” he says again.
I can’t help smiling at his Regency words. “I want to be claimed by you.” I pause then add, “Duke.”
“Fuck me,” he exhales as he lies beside me. Beside me. Not on top of me.
I wait for several seconds for him to make a move. But his hand is hovering over my body as though it’s some kind of divining rod and he’s trying to find water.
“What are you doing?” I demand. “Touch me.”
I press his hand to my lower belly and reach for his cock.
“I want to take it slow.” He bites his lower lip. His nostrils flare. “I want this to be memorable. Perfect.” He leans toward me and kisses my neck.
I tilt my head to give him more of my flesh. My nipples are hard and aching. I want him to take them in his mouth, but he stops at my collarbone.
“Cam,” I know I sound desperate and I don’t care. “Please. I want this.”
He holds up one finger. “Just a minute.”
“No! No more minutes. I want you. Inside me. Now.”
I press his shoulders down so he has to twist onto his back, and straddle him. His hard-on is standing straight up, exactly where and how I want it, and I slide him inside me in one slippery thrust.
“Fuck, Tabs. This is… you are… ” He seems at a loss for words.
I lean forward and kiss his chest. His groan sends a rush of heat straight down to my core and into my heart.
“I love you, Cam,” I whisper. “So much.”
“I love you, too, Tabs,” he says reverently, like he still can’t believe this is happening. I understand the feeling completely.
He grabs my hips, and I shift my weight on my knees. I place a hand on his muscular chest and rock up and down, his cock sliding in and out of me.
I swear that one motion reaches every cell in my body. Just knowing that I’m here, with this man—with Cam—means everything to me, and I’m lost in a feeling like nothing else.
The physical pleasure is incomparable, but it’s so much more. When he opens his eyes and catches mine, I feel the connection straight into my soul. The electricity amplifies and the orgasm that’s been building takes control. I lose it, bucking my hips, grabbing my own breasts while I writhe and grind on his amazing cock. I come hard and loud and with so much energy I don’t think any other orgasm will ever compare.
Cam’s shout echoes through the room, and that sound coupled with the feeling of his cock inside me as he comes is enough to send another orgasm coursing through me.
I sag against him, completely spent, and he wraps his arms right around me, sitting up with me still clenching around him.
“That,” Cam pants, staring at me, wide-eyed, and says nothing more.
“That,” I repeat, breathing just as hard, “was,” I pause again, because I don’t know what the word that I’m feeling is.
We sit like this, chests heaving together, his cock slowly retreating until I can barely feel him inside me anymore. Finally, it comes to me.
“Transcendent,” I say.
I lean back to see his expression. His brow wrinkles and he looks confused. Pained even.
“No,” Cam shakes his head. “That—was all wrong.”