Chapter 10 #2
Daniel wasn’t even sure what he was yearning for.
A relationship with Jensen was completely out of the question.
Soon enough Daniel would go back to his job, his real job, and there was no way a self-respecting man like Jensen would be okay with Daniel getting fucked left, right, and sideways.
He saw more action than a movie studio’s back lot and couldn’t offer exclusivity.
He couldn’t offer loyalty, not unless he wanted to fall behind on rent and start getting calls from collections again.
Hell, he couldn’t even give Jensen his company while he wasn’t at work.
They lived in different states, and Daniel didn’t have the means to move even if he wanted to uproot his life for a man he barely knew.
He was done making stupid decisions, and relocating for Jensen this early in their unconventional and undefined relationship would be a horribly stupid decision.
Maybe top five worst ones he’d made. That, of course, didn’t stop Daniel from wanting to pack a bag, leave his old life behind, and run to Jensen.
“Miss you too,” Daniel said finally.
He got a hum in response, signifying he’d waited too long in the silent night and Jensen was already half asleep.
“Get some sleep,” Daniel said tenderly, nuzzling further into his pillow.
This arrangement would have to be good enough for him.
For as long as it lasted, he would gorge himself on the attention and affection Jensen offered so readily.
Maybe he could hoard enough that when it was taken away, he wouldn’t starve.
Music hit his ears as he opened the door to the house. The air-conditioning hit him next, which he was more than thankful for. The iced coffee in his hand had helped keep him cool while running errands, but the afternoon heat was more pervasive than a herpes sore and just as angry.
Daniel kicked the door closed behind him, left his keys in the dish Casey had made during one of his frequent and short-lived hobbies.
As he walked down the stout hallway to the open area of the house, the music got louder along with the sound of voices.
“Hey,” he greeted Casey and Brody, who were seated on either side of the leather couch.
Brody had his computer in his lap, studying the screen.
Casey was filing down his nails, a towel covering his chest and lap to catch all the dust, most likely so Arlo wouldn’t flip about it later.
A pop icon’s music video played on the TV.
“Sup,” Brody said, not taking his eyes off his laptop.
“How was running errands, boo?” Casey asked, blowing off his nails and going back in with a vengeance at a spot he deemed unworthy. Though, his scene partners probably appreciated the time he spent seeing to them.
Daniel dropped his bag on the counter and started unloading his groceries. “It was fine,” he said, putting his chicken on the Arlo-assigned shelf in the fridge. “Hotter and wetter than a gay sauna out there though.”
Casey gasped and sat up straight. “We should go back there. It’s been months since we’ve gone, and my cake could use some baking in a steam room.”
“Count me out,” Brody said, shaking his head. “I can’t handle that level of heat. I almost passed out the last time we were there.”
Casey fanned his face. “Me too, babe, me too.” The smirk he sported let both of them know he wasn’t talking about the temperature.
Daniel shoved the bag he was using with the other reusable ones hanging in the pantry. Pinching the front of his shirt, he pulled it from his body to get some airflow as he made his way to the empty sofa. He stretched out and put his feet up on the coffee table. “I don’t know,” he said simply.
The sauna was all right, he supposed. Many fun times had been had in its steamy walls, but it held no appeal to him now.
Even before he had met Jensen, he was getting sick of meaningless sex, which was why most men went to the place.
Of course, it wasn’t a brothel or anything like that, but it was the worst kept secret that men hooked up there.
It wasn’t a requirement, and Daniel had been plenty of times to just relax with Casey and his friends, but he didn’t even want to be in the charged atmosphere where he had to watch his body language.
It had all become so tasteless to him. He knew that was a bad sign, that he was viewing sex as something off-putting or a chore. But he really couldn’t help how it had transformed from a great time and a nice release to the thing between him and homelessness.
These feelings were only amplified since he had met Jensen and started working at the bar.
Now that he had a break from the constant touching and forced sensuality, Daniel found he didn’t enjoy it anymore.
If he was honest, he hadn’t enjoyed getting fucked for a while now.
He didn’t know when the shift had happened, but being with Jensen of his own free will and for his own selfish pleasure felt so different from the farce he went through while working that it was honestly shocking.
Truth be told, he’d get more pleasure listening to Jensen talk about his day than engaging in a casual orgy at the sauna.
“Oh, come on. When did you two get boring?” Casey stuck his bottom lip out to pout. “I need a wingman if I’m going to meet my next boyfriend there.”
Daniel stared at the label on his coffee and rolled his lips before asking, “Do you honestly think that anyone would want to date you while you’re whoring yourself out to other men?”