Chapter 7
Chloe wakesup to an incessant buzzing coming from her bedside table. She buries her face in the too-soft hotel pillow in an attempt to muffle the sound, and blindly slaps at the table. She hits her phone once, twice, three times, but the buzzing doesn’t stop.
‘God, what is that?’ Devin groans from the pull-out couch. ‘It’s eight in the fucking morning.’
‘Chlo, it’s your phone,’ Elena says. Chloe forces her bleary eyes open to see that Elena’s right; her phone is the source of all the buzzing. She set it to vibrate before bed, and now it’s vibrating so hard it’s practically shaking the table.
‘What the hell?’ Chloe mumbles as she grabs the phone. It’s blowing up with notifications—calls, texts, emails, Instagram alerts, and even mentions on Twitter. There are so many notifications coming in that she can’t even read the messages as they’re pushed up and off the screen by new ones.
Elena, who’s already awake and has her laptop open, looks over. ‘What is it?’
‘I don’t know,’ Chloe replies. She tries to swipe open a random notification, but it moves too fast and she misses it. ‘My phone’s blowing up. I can’t even read these.’
Elena furrows her eyebrows, then grabs her own phone. She swipes the screen for a moment. Her eyebrows shoot up beneath her bangs, her eyes wide. ‘Um, you better take a look at this, CJ.’ She leans over, holding the phone for Chloe to take. Her Twitter feed is open, the bright light making Chloe’s bleary eyes sting.
It takes just a moment to see what’s going on. The very first topic on the trending list is Luke’s name, and the explanation underneath says: ‘Reports say that Reckless 3’s Luke Waters is having a baby! And the catch—it’s with a fan’.
Chloe’s heart drops.
She taps on the link and it takes her to a feed full of tweets and articles all surrounding the topic—all surrounding her. Chloe’s hands shake as she opens the first article and yep, there it is.
‘Reckless 3’s Fall For You tour has been taking the world by storm, and yet the band isn’t done shaking up the entire music scene. Word has gotten out that the band’s bassist, Luke Waters, is now expecting a child with a fan he met recently at a concert,’ Chloe reads aloud. Devin shoots up out of the pull-out bed, her red hair a wild mess as she hurries over to Chloe. ‘Reports are still unconfirmed, but the fan is said to be a young woman named Chloe Cameron, age 22, who works as a bookseller in Nashville, Tennessee.’
‘Holy shit,’ Devin breaths. ‘God, that was quick.’
‘How did they even find out already?’ Elena asks, joining the two of them on Chloe’s bed. Chloe is scooted to the middle, her two best friends on either side. The three of them all pour over the small screen, reading and rereading the article. There are pictures of Chloe —her college graduation photo (she has no idea how they acquired those), and a couple selfies from her Instagram account. There’s even a short bio on Chloe that mentions her college and major.
It’s enough to make her feel violated.
‘I mean, I did shout it in a room full of people,’ Chloe replies dryly. She shakes her head. ‘But I thought Luke’s manager took care of it, and had the other fans sign NDAs. They had a whole plan on how they were gonna announce it to the public.’
‘One of those fans wouldn’t have known your name, though,’ Elena murmurs. ‘Or where you work.’
Devin gasps. ‘There’s a snitch on this tour! Ooh, I bet it’s one of the roadies, they always want a second in the spotlight.’
‘Devin, this isn’t a joking matter,’ Elena says sharply.
‘Look at what they’re saying,’ Chloe says, scrolling through the comments under the article. ‘They’re tearing me to shreds. Look! That one called me a bottle blonde. Ha, is that the worst they can come up with?’
It’s not the worst thing they could come up with. Comment after comment rips Chloe a new one—calling her a slut, ugly, fat. Any insult someone could possibly come up with, she sees written in the comments.
‘That’s enough of that,’ Devin says quickly, plucking the phone from Chloe’s fingers. ‘We are not gonna sit here and read the unintelligent thoughts that losers on the internet have decided to share with the world.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Chloe says, but it isn’t totally true.
Yeah, the bottle blonde comment was kind of funny, but some of these comments actually hurt. She’s always been fairly sensitive about her appearance, so the “ugly” and “so plain, why would Luke ever look her way?” comments needle at her skin.
It’s not like she can really disagree with any of them. Luke is Luke Waters, a member of one of the most famous bands at the moment. He could have any girl he wants. Why would he want Chloe?
‘They’re losers,’ Devin repeats fiercely, tugging on a lock of Chloe’s hair until she meets her gaze. ‘They don’t know anything, CJ.’
Devin’s brown eyes are serious, but Chloe’s chest still feels tight, but she nods regardless.
Chloe’s phone is still buzzing nonstop on the bedside table, and Elena picks it up. It takes her a couple tries, but she manages to unlock the phone.
‘This is ridiculous,’ she mutters, but finally gets in and turns all notifications off. She sighs as the room falls silent.
‘So, should we get breakfast?’ Devin asks after a moment. The other girls look her way, and she shrugs. ‘What? We’re already up anyway.’
Luke finds them downstairs at the continental breakfast about twenty minutes later. Chloe nibbles on a lukewarm waffle, but her appetite has pretty much vanished. She scrolls through her phone, which is usable again now that the notifications are off.
It seems like everyone she knows has found out about her pregnancy, and they’ve all decided to reach out. Distant cousins, teachers from high school and even old coworkers she hasn’t spoken to in years. The most upsetting is her Nana, who seems very disappointed that she wasn’t told personally about her first great-grandchild.
She hasn’t even tried to touch any of her social media accounts. Some of the messages from her actual relatives are bad enough, she doesn’t need more negativity from strangers.
The weirdest is all the people Chloe hasn’t spoken to in years already trying to use her to get to Luke. Random people she had classes with in high school are texting, asking her to get lunch and, ‘Oh, feel free to invite Luke! I’d love to get to know your new boyfriend.’
She hasn’t answered anyone yet but her Nana. She doesn’t even know where to start.
‘There you are,’ Luke says, pulling Chloe’s attention from her phone. ‘I’ve been knocking on your door for like five minutes.’
‘You should have texted her,’ Devin says dryly. Her eyes widen in mock surprise. ‘Oh, right, she had to turn her notifications off because someone announced to the world that you knocked her up.’
Luke sighs, rubbing his eyes with his hand. ‘I know, I’m sorry. Regina’s already trying to figure out who leaked it.’ He meets Chloe’s gaze, and suddenly the air feels thicker. Tenser. ‘I was trying to check on you.’
Chloe swallows hard and averts her eyes. She grabs the apple she selected from the fruit bar and holds it up to him like a piece offering. Luke blinks, then accepts it with a smile. He sits down in the empty seat next to her, his knees brushing against her own.
Chloe digs back into her food, trying to swallow down her own anxiety while she swallows her cold waffle.
‘Uh, how are you?’ Luke asks quietly, his voice low enough that Chloe almost can’t hear him over Devin’s obnoxiously loud cereal. ‘With everything, I mean.’
She looks at him for a moment. He’s so familiar now, yet he’s still such a stranger. What should she even say?
‘I—’
‘How do you think?’ Elena asks as she drops her phone onto the wooden table. She leans forward, hands folded in front of her as she stares Luke down. Elena’s normally the one who keeps her head, between the three of them. But to Chloe’s surprise, she actually looks mad. Her eyebrows meet, forming a familiar crease between them. Normally, Chloe only ever sees that crease when Elena’s stressing over school assignments.
She’s never seen Elena stress about—well, anything else, really. Certainly not about her.
‘I know it’s bad,’ Luke starts. Elena snorts derisively.
‘Bad doesn’t begin to cover it,’ she snaps. ‘Chloe’s being verbally assaulted online, and everyone we know now knows about her baby. The entire world knows! And Chloe just has to what? Take it? This is a giant fucking mess, Luke.’
‘Shit,’ Devin breathes. She looks at Elena in awe. ‘How long have you been holding that one in?’
Elena shifts. She rubs her eyes. ‘I’m tired and I’m pissed, okay? Chloe doesn’t deserve any of this.’
‘I know it’s bad,’ Luke repeats, louder this time. He rolls the apple Chloe gave him between his palms. He meets Chloe’s eyes. ‘I know, and I’m sorry. I wanted to protect you from all of this shit. I love what I do, really, but fame can be awful at times and this is one of them. Regina and I were working on a whole PR plan to try to make the announcement as painless as possible, but it didn’t happen. I’m sorry.’
Chloe swallows against a lump in her throat, dropping her eyes to avoid the sincerity in his. Damn him. Why does he have to be such a good guy?
‘It’s not your fault,’ she says.
‘It is. If I wasn’t famous, the entire world wouldn’t know that you’re pregnant,’ he replies. Chloe’s fingers itch to hold his hand to comfort him and make that frown on his face disappear. ‘You wouldn’t have strangers calling you horrible things online.’
‘Your grandma wouldn’t be mad that you didn’t tell her first,’ Elena throws it out there.
‘Elena!’ Chloe chides. ‘It’s not like he’s the one who leaked the news to the press.’
‘You didn’t, right?’ Devin asks, pointing her spoon at Luke. Chloe thinks it’s supposed to be a joke, but it doesn’t land well.
‘Of course not!’
Devin nods in acceptance. Chloe rolls her eyes.
To Luke, she says. ‘It’s…well, it’s not okay, really. But I’m not mad at you, okay? This sucks, but it’s manageable. Right?’ She winces a little at how uncertain she sounds.
Luke nods, and a little of the tension leaves Chloe’s body. She needed that, she realizes now. To hear that it’s okay to be okay from someone who actually knows. At the very least, Luke’s had experience dealing with media scandals before. She never followed R3 closely on their rise to fame, but even she remembers the Twitter trends and cancellation posts that have popped up over the years.
If Luke says they can deal with this, then she believes him. She just wishes Devin and Elena did, too.
The crease doesn’t leave Elena’s forehead, but she drops the subject. Devin nudges her softly, and Chloe can practically see the silent conversation floating in the air between them.
A memory hits Chloe quickly. She thinks of middle school, when she and Devin would have conversations that consisted half of eyebrow wags and half of text messages—just nonsensical enough that if they got caught the teacher would have no idea what they were talking about.
Chloe wishes she could recreate it now, but even with the notifications turned off she doesn’t want to touch her phone right now. She wishes she could grab Devin and Elena’s hands and drag them back to the hotel room, where they hole up all day.
She wishes she could hide from the whole world, no one but her two best friends by her side.
But the silent conversation they have right in front of her makes her wonder if it would help at all, to hide away with them. If this whole situation isn’t a fissure, breaking them apart.
Chloe wants to go back to bed.
Their breakfast goes quiet for a bit, Luke scrolling on his phone and munching on Chloe’s apple while the girls finish their breakfast. Far too soon, though, the real world crashes back in.
Chloe hears Regina before she sees her. The click clack of her heels on the marble floor echoes through the hotel lobby. She appears in the breakfast nook, tall and poised and oh-so-intimidating. Chloe sits up straighter, her hand curling into a fist and bunching the fabric of her T-shirt against her stomach.
Regina looks more harried than the last time Chloe saw her. Her hair is just a little frizzy, her makeup just a little smeared. Enough for Chloe to guess what’s kept her preoccupied all morning.
‘You two need to come with me,’ she says without greeting. Luke sighs, like he was expecting this. He stands, and Chloe follows.
‘Should we come?’ Devin asks. She and Elena start to stand as well, but Regina waves them off.
‘You two aren’t really a part of this,’ she says dismissively. Chloe can practically see Devin’s hackles rise at this.
‘They’re my friends,’ Chloe says. ‘If they want to come wherever we’re going, they can.’
Regina opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off by her phone’s ringer. She sighs, clearly annoyed by whoever’s showing up on caller ID. ‘Whatever, just move! We need to get control of this situation ASAP. And you—’ she snaps in Luke’s direction ‘need to call your mother back.’
Luke grimaces, and Regina matches it with her own sneer.
‘I’ve had to field three calls from her this morning on top of all this,’ she snaps, gesturing at the air around her. ‘So, when we’re done, you’re going to call her back and take her off my plate. Got it?’
‘Got it,’ Luke mutters. Chloe scowls on his behalf, disliking how Regina treats him like he’s a kid. And by the looks of it, Luke is used to it.
Regina turns on her heel and walks off, clearly expecting them to just follow her.
‘We should go,’ Luke says to Chloe. ‘There’s probably a PR meeting to figure out how we’re gonna handle the leak.’
‘Now!’ Regina calls over her shoulder. Luke gives them an apologetic look and heads down the hall after her.
‘You guys don’t have to come,’ Chloe says to Elena and Devin. ‘But you can if you want.’
The two of them share another look, and Chloe tries her best not to feel left out.
‘We’ll see you in the room after,’ Elena says. She waves Chloe off. ‘Go, we’ll clean up here.’
Chloe hurries to catch up with Luke and Regina, tripping just as she makes it to Luke’s side. He catches her easily, holding her steady.
‘Careful, Chlo,’ he says softly. The nickname, one she’s been called many times, but never by Luke, makes her catch her breath.
‘I’m fine,’ she says faintly. His hands are warm, grounding her in place, comforting her. He doesn’t look like he believes her, so she repeats herself. ‘I’m fine, Luke.’
‘In here,’ Regina calls from halfway down the hall. Luke glances in that direction, then looks back to Chloe.
‘It’s gonna be fine,’ he says, dropping his hands and stepping back.
‘I know.’
He hesitates, then holds his hand out to her. She takes it and allows him to pull her down the hall to the conference room Regina’s rented. ‘There’s no need to worry.’
‘Who said I was worried?’ Chloe asks lightly. Luke must see something in her face because he doesn’t seem convinced. He looks like he wants to say more, but the room bursts into motion as soon as they enter.
There’s an alarming number of people convened in this tiny hotel conference room. Regina has settled into the seat at the head of the table. To her right, Maverick and Quinn sit side-by-side. Next are the two assistants Chloe has seen but hasn’t actually met yet, and then two serious-looking men in crisp suits. On Regina’s left are two open seats, clearly for Chloe and Luke.
Luke and Chloe take their seats. Chloe gives a small nod in hello to Maverick and Quinn. Maverick nods back, while Quinn just raises her eyebrows. Neither of them look very happy about being here.
Not that Chloe can blame them.
The meeting begins at a dizzying speed that seems to only shock Chloe. Luke, Maverick and Quinn are weathered professionals at this point; they’ve likely sat in meetings like this countless times over the years. Chloe, however, feels like her head is spinning.
Regina leads the meeting like she’s trained for it her whole life. Despite her slightly disheveled appearance, she’s in complete control. One of the assistants, who Chloe learns is named Todd, is appointed to damage control.
He rattles off what he’s been working on all morning. Chloe’s eyes widen as she hears how he convinced four major news websites to take down their articles about the pregnancy, as well as posted to all of the R3 social media accounts to try to contain the mess. He looks cool as a cucumber as he says it all, but it’s an impressive amount of work.
‘Any luck with People?’ Regina asks without compliment. Todd flushes.
‘They won’t rescind their story,’ he admits with a shake of his head. ‘They claim they have solid evidence to back them up.’
‘What kind of evidence could they have?’ Chloe asks, leaning forward. Everyone glances at her and she gets the distinct feeling this is one of those situations where she’s not supposed to speak unless spoken to.
‘We don’t know,’ one of the men answers. Chloe recognizes him from the meet and greet—he’s one of the band’s lawyers, and apparently he’s been working on this situation with Regina all morning. He goes on to report that the magazine also refuses to name their source no matter how much he presses them. ‘I’m trying to see if I can get a warrant, but there’s really no grounds for it. They were careful not to slander either Luke or Ms. Cameron in their article.’
‘The source must be someone on our crew, then,’ Regina muses. Chloe shrinks under the suspicious look Regina casts her way. Her gaze moves past Chloe and then lands on Maverick.
‘You didn’t say anything while you were out partying, did you?’ she asks lowly. ‘You didn’t get too drunk and tell a reporter something you shouldn’t have?’ Maverick sits up straighter, spluttering indignantly at the accusation.
‘I would never,’ he exclaims. He scoffs at all the disbelieving looks on the lawyer and the assistants’ faces. ‘Come on, give me some credit. I’ve gotten a lot better.’
Chloe doesn’t know what he means, but decides this is not the time to ask.
‘Quinn?’
‘Excuse me?’ Quinn’s voice is venomous as a snake.
Regina holds her hands up placatingly. ‘I know you’re not happy with Chloe’s presence and this whole situation?—’
‘Regina!’ Luke admonishes. He grabs Chloe’s hand, squeezing as she tries not to wilt right in front of everyone.
It’s not exactly a secret that Luke is the only person who actually wants her here, but it still stings to hear. And maybe she’s extra sensitive right now, so it digs extra deep.
‘I may not be happy, but I know how to keep my mouth shut,’ Quinn bites out, a snarl on her lips. ‘The band’s image actually matters to me, despite what you might think.’
‘Chloe?’
‘Hm?’ Chloe’s back goes straight as a board and she squeezes Luke’s hand tightly, hating it when all eyes fall to her.
‘How many people have you told about your baby?’ Regina asks, a steely look in her eye. ‘The whole story?’
‘Just my parents,’ Chloe answers quickly, trying to reassure everyone. ‘And Elena and Devin, obviously. But none of them would have?—’
‘People wouldn’t be protecting them,’ the lawyer dismisses quickly. ‘Especially if they didn’t have proof. It has to be someone part of the crew on this tour, then. Someone they want to get more information from in the coming months.’
Regina clucks her tongue. ‘Liz, get working trying to figure out who the leak is,’ she says after a moment. The second assistant nods. ‘This takes priority.’
‘Got it,’ Liz says.
To the other man in the suit, Regina says, ‘We need to take control of the narrative. How quickly can we get an interview lined up? And a press release?’
‘I can have both ready by this afternoon.’
Luke’s phone vibrates on the wooden table. Chloe doesn’t mean to look, but she does see Mom on the caller ID before Luke declines the call and flips the phone over. Chloe swallows back a lump in her throat.
Was this how his parents found out about the baby?
His phone vibrates once more—a voicemail, maybe? Was Luke’s mom asking him to call so she can officially find out she’s going to be a grandmother?
The whole morning, Chloe’s been so wrapped up in herself and how hard this is on her, she hasn’t really even thought about how Luke is in the same boat right now. She was so distraught over her Nana finding out from the internet, but surely Luke has family learning about it the very same way.
Their hands are still locked together, and Chloe gives him another squeeze in apology.
‘No, I’m not saying that!’ Luke protests loudly. Chloe blinks, realizing she’s just zoned out for who-knows-how-long and has no idea what’s going on right now.
Regina gives an exasperated sigh. ‘What does it matter? It will look much better for the band if people think Chloe was a secret girlfriend rather than a one-night-stand gone wrong.’
‘Hey!’ Chloe cries.
Regina has no patience for her. ‘You don’t mind, right? It’ll look much better for you if we just tell the world you two were already dating?—’
‘It could turn around the public’s opinion on you,’ Todd pipes up helpfully. Luke shoots him a glare.
‘But it’s a lie,’ Chloe says blankly. Everyone pauses for a second, and Chloe realizes she sounds very naive right now. Childish.
‘Most things said in interviews and press releases are lies,’ Regina tells her. ‘And this one makes you look much better than the truth does.’
‘But—’ Chloe thinks of her Nana. Sweet, loving Nana who believes every Facebook article that comes her way. ‘I don’t want people to think I’ve been lying to them.’ She looks to Luke for help.
‘Maybe we could—’ Luke starts, but Regina waves him off.
‘We’re going with this story. You two need to get on board with it,’ she says sharply. She raises her eyebrows, silently daring either of them to argue.
‘But…’ Luke trails off helplessly and shoots Chloe an apologetic look. She squeezes his hand in response.
‘I say we just tell the truth,’ Maverick pipes up when it’s clear Chloe and Luke aren’t going to. Luke looks past Chloe to Maverick, an unreadable expression on his face. ‘We’re not some teeny-bopper bullshit band that needs a squeaky clean rep, anyway.’
‘Just because we don’t project a “squeaky-clean” image doesn’t mean we don’t need a positive public image, Maverick,’ Regina says. Her tone is controlled, but Chloe can practically see the time bomb ticking away under the surface. ‘Fans need to be on our side in order to keep buying albums and concert tickets.’
‘You could point out how Luke is stepping up,’ Maverick counters. He rests his elbows on the table, meeting Regina’s intense gaze. ‘Like you said, it was a one-night-stand. He could have easily brushed Chloe off, but he’s stepping up and he’s gonna be there for his kid. Use that.’
The meeting lasts a little while longer, but Chloe knows Maverick’s convinced her long before Regina finally relents. Maverick shoots Luke a proud grin, but Luke doesn’t respond in kind.
His face is still stoic and unreadable as they’re finally released from the conference room. The band has strict orders to be back at two for the press release and subsequent interview their PR liaison is setting up.
Luke and Chloe’s hands are still entwined, but she doesn’t say anything until she’s led Luke into the elevator. The doors close, and it’s just the two of them.
‘Are you okay?’ she asks softly.
‘Yeah,’ Luke says. He shakes his head, as if to shake away his own thoughts. ‘I should be asking you that.’
‘Well, I’m asking you,’ she replies. ‘You seem upset.’
She tries to not be too disappointed when he drops her hand. He uses said hand to rake his fingers through his curls, and then he sighs.
‘It’s stupid,’ he mutters, ‘and we have way more important things to think about. Don’t worry about me.’
‘Too late.’
The elevator doors open with a soft ding. Chloe’s floor appears in front of them, but neither of them move. Chloe wants Luke to know that his problems are important too and that she’s here for him.
He sighs again. ‘It’s just—in there. I couldn’t stand my ground against Regina. I never can.’
‘She’s an intimidating woman.’
‘It’s not just her, though. It’s anyone, really. Mav, Quinn; they know their place here and they know they can say whatever they want and their standing in the band won’t change. I don’t have that.’
Chloe doesn’t respond for a moment. ‘You think Regina would kick you out of the band because you didn’t want to do what she said?’
Luke shrugs. He jabs at the button inside the elevator and the doors open again.
Chloe doesn’t say anything—a trick she learned from her mom. If you want someone to keep talking, stay silent. They’re more likely to keep going if there’s a silence they feel the need to fill.
‘I don’t know,’ he mumbles after a moment. He sighs. ‘No, I guess? It’s just…it’s easy to feel left out between the two of them, you know? Mav and Quinn are so alike, and they just have this…presence that I don’t. Sometimes I’ll say something and they’ll share a look and I feel like I’m on the outside looking in at my own band.’
A lump forms in Chloe’s throat, his comment hitting a little too close to home. ‘I get that. Sometimes I feel like that with my friends too.’
It feels like a betrayal to admit that. Devin and Elena are the best friends Chloe could ever ask for, but Chloe can’t help it but feel left out when they share a look or an inside joke she wasn’t there for. She knows they love her, that the three of them are definitely a package deal, but sometimes it still stings.
Luke looks surprised at her words. ‘Really?’
Chloe nods. ‘But, in my experience, just because you feel left out doesn’t mean it’s always true.’
Luke shakes his head. ‘I didn’t graduate high school,’ he continues. ‘As far as skills go, I can sing backup to Mav and play the bass. That’s it. If I lose my spot in this band, I’ll have nothing.’
‘I think you’d have more than you think,’ she says softly. ‘But I also don’t think they’d kick you from the band if you stood up for yourself more. You’re worth more than you think.’
They exit the elevator only when another guest asks if they’re going down to the lobby. Luke doesn’t look like he really believes Chloe’s words, but she lets the matter drop.
She’s got six weeks on tour to try to convince him.
They stop in front of Chloe’s hotel room.
‘This is gonna be okay,’ Luke tells her. ‘The interview, the press release—it’ll help. I’ll do whatever I can to stop all this hate coming your way online.’
Chloe nods. ‘I know you will. I just don’t know how well it’ll work. I can deal with it.’
‘Have you privated your accounts yet?’
She shakes her head, and he holds out his hand for her phone. In two minutes, he’s got both her Twitter and Instagram accounts privated, though she still has roughly a hundred thousand more followers than she did yesterday.
‘It might not do much since so many people already follow you,’ he admits sheepishly, ‘but it’s something.’
‘Thanks,’ Chloe says softly, taking her phone back. Twitter’s still open, and she can see hate comments from his fans (her followers now, she supposes) still rolling in.
‘After the press conference, do you wanna get out of here for a bit?’
Chloe rolls her window down and lets the warm and slightly damp air into the car. There’s a nice breeze, but it’s not enough to lift Chloe’s mood. She keeps seeing those tweets, texts and DMs in her mind. Images flashing in front of her eyes, insults and hurtful comments all aimed at her.
Her stomach twists painfully. She tries to push it out of her head like she had earlier, but it’s no use. Everything feels like such a mess. Chloe is such a fucking mess.
‘So,’ Luke says after a minute, breaking the painful silence in the car. ‘We’re going to be in Virginia next week, and I thought we could try to make a doctor’s appointment while we’re there.’
Chloe blinks, caught off-guard by the drastically different topic of conversation. ‘Oh, uh, okay.’
‘You haven’t been at all yet, right?’
Chloe shakes her head, then pulls her hair back as the wind blows it in her face. ‘No, I was planning on doing it when I went home after I told you, but you said you wanted to go.’
A smile plays on his lips. ‘Thanks. I really don’t want to miss anything.’
‘Good.’ Out of habit, Chloe picks up her phone and swipes it open. She opens Twitter before her brain has a chance to catch up and think. Every single tweet that pops up is directed at her, calling her?—
‘Have you thought of names at all?’ Luke asks. They stop at a red light and he glances her way. ‘Because I’ve already thought of a list a mile long.’
He’s good at this, she thinks. Without even trying, he’s able to pull her from the spiral that she’s so close to falling into.
‘Not really,’ she admits sheepishly. She drops her phone into the cup holder with a soft thud, and already she feels better. ‘I don’t know. It’s hard to pick a name, knowing the baby will be stuck with it forever.’
‘That’s why you pick a name that has a lot of nickname options. Take my name for example. Lucas. Luke’s the obvious choice for a nickname, but in middle school I made everyone call me Lou.’
Chloe snorts, then slaps her hand over her mouth. Luke just laughs, throwing his head back. ‘Sorry! I just—why would you ever think Lou was better than Luke?’
‘I wanted to be different,’ he says dryly. ‘I went back to Luke in high school, thank God.’
Chloe gestures to the air. ‘International rock star, Lou Waters,’ she snickers. ‘That sounds like a small town on a lake. Lou Waters, West Virginia.’
Maybe it shouldn’t be as funny as it is, but she can’t help but giggle. Luke pretends to be offended, but his smile gives him away. He waits until she’s gotten all her giggles out before he continues.
‘But for the baby, I think a name with lots of nickname options is best,’ he says.
‘Like Elizabeth?’ Chloe suggests. ‘She could be Liz, Lizzie, Liza, Eliza, Beth, Betty. There’s a lot of choices there.’
Luke nods slowly. ‘Elizabeth might be nice for a girl. But what about something like…Philomena?’
Chloe waits for him to laugh and say he’s joking, but he doesn’t. They end up at another red light and he looks at her again.
‘Are you kidding?’ she asks.
‘No, I think it’s pretty! Think of it, she could go by Phil?—’
‘That’s a name fit for a forty-year-old man,’ Chloe cuts in.
‘Or Mina! Or Mimi. I’m just saying, there are options.’
He looks so earnest about it that Chloe almost feels bad when she shakes her head, laughing in disbelief. ‘We’re not naming our daughter Philomena. That’s just asking for her to get bullied!’
‘Okay, well what about Mackintosh? It could be for a boy or a girl.’
‘That’s a type of apple!’
‘Winnifred?’
The drive speeds by, and somehow each name Luke suggests is worse than the last. Chloe’s laughing more than she’s ever laughed in her life. She takes some delight in shooting down name after name. Her hand rests on her non-existent bump, rubbing it with her thumb as they talk.
It only takes about five names before Chloe realizes what Luke’s doing. She was wrong before when she thought he was so good at distracting her without even trying. He’s trying—he’s trying so hard that it warms her heart.
He’s gonna be a good dad, she thinks. If he’s willing to act like he actually thinks Morticia is a suitable name for their baby just to make her feel better, then he’s gonna be so good with their baby.
They drive around aimlessly for a little while, their game continuing and Chloe’s mind easing little by little. Then it’s time for Luke to head to the concert venue for the show, and without meaning to Chloe agrees to come along. To be honest, she just doesn’t want the conversation to end.
‘Okay, but for real,’ she says as he heads onto the freeway. ‘What are some actual name ideas you have for the baby?’
Luke quirks an eyebrow at her and winks. ‘I assure you, they’re all actual names.’
She raises her eyebrows at him, and waits. ‘I do like Elizabeth, actually.’
Chloe wrinkles her nose. ‘Now I feel bad suggesting it because I kind of hate that name.’ Luke scoffs. ‘What? The girl who bullied me in middle school was called Elizabeth. She was a bitch, even for a middle schooler.’
‘You say that as if all middle schoolers are bitches,’ Luke replies, clearly amused.
‘Uh, obviously they are! You remember middle school, don’t you?’
‘Meg.’
‘Too short.’
‘Guinevere.’
‘Too long.’
‘Emma.’
‘Too common.’
‘Alta.’
‘Too weird!’
Chloe sits perched on the plush couch in Luke’s dressing room, having more than a little fun shooting down every baby name he floats her way. They’ve been at the concert venue for about an hour now, and have finally brought their conversation back to the topic at hand: baby names.
Chloe’s so caught up in it all that she almost forgets how out of place she is—normal old Chloe Cameron backstage at a major concert venue alongside a literal rockstar. She hardly even thinks about it; it’s just so easy, the two of them there bouncing ideas back and forth as Luke mindlessly tunes his bass.
His head is tilted down as he works, and Chloe eyes his mane of dark curls curiously. Would her baby—their baby—have his curls? She can just imagine a little baby with hair just like his. It”s too cute!
Luke groans, throwing his head back dramatically. He makes a face at Chloe. ‘You’re impossibly picky, you know that?’
Chloe huffs. ‘Sorry I want our baby to have a name that will suit her for the rest of her life!’ It’s meant to be a sarcastic remark, but the smile she can’t hold back kind of ruins the whole vibe. He makes a show of rolling his eyes at her.
‘I still don’t get what was wrong with Mathilda.’
‘It’s an old lady’s name!’
Luke laughs out loud at that, a hearty sound that sends thrills straight up Chloe’s spine. She likes making him laugh. She likes it a lot.
‘Well, I still like it,’ he says. He sets the bass down and slides closer to her. ‘We could call her Tillie.’
‘That’s even worse!’
‘Okay, okay, fine,’ he relents. ‘We havemonthsto think about it,anyway. No rush.’ He nudges her in theside and she nudges him back. He’s warm beside her. Strong.
They continue on, playfully insulting each other’s baby names and arguing for their own picks, and all of Chloe’s worries melt away for a bit. It’s easy here with Luke. He’s easier to talk to than anyone she’s ever known, save maybe Elena or her mom. She doesn’t have to think about the right thing to say or anything. He just…gets it.
Briefly, her mind jumps back to that day in the diner, when he suggested they try dating. It had seemed like such a crazy idea, a desperateonein an attempt to make this work. But maybe he was onto something?—
‘Luke!’ The two of them jump, heads whipping to see Regina standing like a storm in the dressing room doorway. Chloe’s seen the band’s manager around over the past few days, but she hasn’t had any reason to speak to her. Or to be spoken to, really.
But now, Regina looks pissed. Her hands, perfectly and intimidatingly manicured, are on her hips and there’s a sour expression on her face. If she could, Chloe would hide behind Luke just to get away from that glare.
‘Uh, hey,’ Luke says lightly. He sits up straighter. ‘What”s up?’
Regina narrows her eyes. ‘“What’s up?” Luke, you are fifteen minutes late for soundcheck and all you can say is “what’s up”? I have so much work to do and yet I have to come hunt you down because you can’t be bothered to show up?—’
‘Shit, sorry,’ Luke says as he jumps to his feet. ‘I didn’t hear the five-minute call.’
‘That’s not an excuse,’ Regina snaps. ‘This is very unprofessional.’
She says the word like it’s a dirty word, and Luke pales like it’s the epitome of insults. He nods shortly, grabs his bass, and is out of the room without a word.
Chloe’s previous joviality melts away and she’s left feeling cold. Regina stays where she is, watching as Luke walks towards the stage. Then, her steely gaze turns to Chloe. Chloe shrinks in on herself and hereyes drop to her hands, folded carefully in her lap.
Regina clearly doesn’t like Chloe. Chloe can’t really blame her, what with thePR nightmare her pregnancy has caused and everything, but it means she doesn’t know how to act around her. Chloe has this need to be liked, like an itch under her skin. Like if she can just find the right words, Regina will change her mind about her. It’s fruitless, though, and so Chloe holds her tongue.
After a long, awkward silence, Regina says, ‘Luke doesn’t normally miss soundcheck. His music is his top priority.’ Pointedly, she adds, ‘And if your presence is going to be a problem, is going to interfere with his work in any way, then you won’t be permitted here anymore.’
‘Like, at the venues?’
‘Or at all.’
Chloe shifts uncomfortably, protests bubbling at her lips, but nods. ‘It won’t happen again.’
‘See that it doesn’t.’
She wants to argue, to stick up for herself and say that this wasn’t her fault, but she bites her tongue. Arguing has never really gotten her anywhere. It’s no use.
Regina waits a moment, giving her the chance to say more, then tsks softly and stalks away. Chloe curls into the couch and grabs her phone out of habit.
She’s already opened Twitter before she remembers what a mess her page is right now. Before she remembers what the whole baby name conversation was distracting her from.
Her notifications are so out of control that she can’t even load her main feed. Tweet after tweet rolls in, insults about her looks, her sluttiness, her sense of humor. At this point, there’s probably not a single tweet of hers that doesn’t have a hate comment on it.
It takes her multipleattempts to close out the app, and by the time she does, her eyes are stinging. She wishes Luke were here. He could easily get her mind off it all and make her laugh so hard she forgets all the mean things everyone on Earth is saying about her right now.
She wishes the concert was over and she had him all to herself. And, for just a split second, she can hear her mother’s warning in the back of her mind. ‘You’ve always fallen in love too easily, Chloe.’
It’s only been a couple days. She can’t prove her mother right so quickly.
Or at all.
It’s boring, actually, to be stuck in a dressing room while a concert goes on. She can’t quite hear the music; the vibrations buzz the ground beneath her feet more than anything else. Chloe’s practically sitting on her hands to keep herself from checking her phone yet again. It’s half habit—she’s far too used to using her phone as a distraction in everyday life—and half compulsion. She wants to know the awful things being said about her, if only so they’re not a surprise later.
Regina and R3’s PR guys are putting together their statement to release in the morning, but that doesn’t stop the deluge pouring in right now.
Just as she’s about to break and pick up the phone, it rings. Her eyes widen when she sees the picture ID attached to the contact.
Chloe, eleven-years-old with braids in her hair and a snake in her hands. Her dad, standing next to her with a bigger snake in his. It was from the last time they went to the zoo before Mark left them.
‘Dad?’ she says by way of greeting.
‘Were you even going to tell me?’ he demands. Chloe’s stomach sinks. Her free hand settles on her stomach, but it brings no comfort.
‘What do you mean?’ she asks carefully.
‘Don’t you play dumb with me, Chloe Jane Cameron.’ She cringes at the use of her full name but doesn’t dare interrupt him. ‘When you told me about the baby, you failed to mention who the father is. How do you think it feels, to find out when I opened Facebook this morning? To have my sister, my mother, calling me and asking if you’re really knocked up by some punk-rocker?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she says quietly. ‘It wasn’t supposed to get out like this.’
‘And why haven’t I heard of this Luke before, anyway?’ her dad demands. ‘You hiding him from me?’
“What? No, there’s nothing to hide,’ Chloe says.
‘Then why didn’t I know your boyfriend was a rockstar? Or that his name was Luke? Last I knew, you were dating that Alex guy.’
Chloe blinks. ‘Alex and I broke up a year and a half ago.’ (Alex was also not a guy, but her dad didn’t need to know that.)
‘Then why did I never hear about you dating this Luke Rivers?—’
‘Waters.’
‘Waters, whatever,’ he says impatiently. ‘Look, I’m your father. I deserve to know what’s going on in your life. It’s bad enough that my entire family wants to hear about this guy. Do you know how bad it looks that I didn’t even know you were dating him?’
‘But, we’re not—’ Chloe catches herself, but it’s too late.
Mark doesn’t yell, which is a shock. He’s so quiet that Chloe’s afraid to breathe, to make the wrong sound and set him off. She sits as still as a statue.
‘Are you telling me,’ he begins lowly, ‘that you are not dating this man? That you not only got pregnant out of wedlock, but it was with a one-night-stand? Well?’ he adds when she doesn’t speak.
‘Um, yes?’ Chloe squeaks.
‘You really are a screw-up,’ Mark says, and it’s like a knife to the heart. ‘Tch, you were supposed to be a good kid, Chloe. You got the grades, you went to college and where does that leave you? You’re gonna end up on your own, broke and with a baby no one wants.’
‘Dad—’
‘Don’t bother calling me again,’ he says, cutting her off. ‘I’m done listening to you ruin your life. Get your shit together or leave me the hell alone.’
He hangs up without another word. Chloe sits there, frozen, for a long time. Tears fall down her cheeks, but she hardly notices them.
She knew Mark wasn’t happy about the baby, his last phone call made that pretty clear, and she knew he didn’t approve of the way her life was going. But she never imagined he would abandon her like this.
She still remembers the day her dad left for good. He was angry. Back then, he was always angry, and was storming out once more, a bag holding the last bit of his belongings in his hand. Chloe had sat on the bottom of the stairs, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.
‘Daddy?’ At twelve, she was too old to be calling him Daddy, but he’d paused and turned to her. His shoulders slumped at the sight of her tears, and she launched herself into his arms.
‘Don’t cry,’ he told her gruffly, patting her back hard. ‘This isn’t the last you’re gonna see of me, kid.’
‘But you’re leaving,’ she sobbed into his shirt. Clutching it, like she could keep him there.
‘I’m not leaving you,’ he said, but even then it sounded more like a jab at her mother in the other room than an attempt at comforting her.
Chloe used to blame her mom for always making him angry. He never yelled at Chloe when she didn’t deserve it—only when she spilled her milk or got points off an assignment for dumb reasons. Chloe learned how to be careful, cautious. Daddy’s Perfect Little Princess. Lisa never managed to do the same.
She’d believed him that day, but as time went on she saw him less and less, and then Charlie came into the picture and Chloe realized that the problems hadn’t been her mother’s fault. Still, Chloe had clung to the idea that if she was good enough, smart enough, well-behaved enough, patient enough, she could still be his little girl. That she could convince him to stay in her life.
And now, that’s all gone.
A sob racks through her body, and she lays down on the dressing room couch as they keep rolling in, curling in on herself. Her grip on her phone is so tight it hurts, and she only loosens it enough to call her mom.
But her mom doesn’t answer. Chloe knows there are a million valid reasons she might not answer—she could be working or out with friends or in the shower. She knows her mom not answering her call isn’t a rejection, but in that moment it sure as hell feels like it.
Luke finds her a little while later, still crying. She feels stupid and childish crying in front of him, but she can’t help it. Can’t stop the tears from spilling. She wipes them away, but they just come right back.
‘What’s wrong?’ Luke demands, sitting down beside her. He hesitates for just a moment before putting his arm around her. Chloe sniffs loudly and shakes her head.
‘I’m fine,’ she says, though it’s quite possible she’s never been less fine in her life.
‘Chloe,’ he says softly. She drops her head to his shoulder, letting it rest there as he rubs her arm comfortingly.
Without really intending to, she tells him about the phone call. The words spill from her like water, pouring uncontrollably. Luke is silent as he listens, but she can see his jaw tense as she speaks.
‘It’s stupid,’ she mumbles after she finishes. She picks at a hangnail on her thumb just to avoid looking at him. ‘He’s hardly in my life anyway. I shouldn’t care what he thinks.’
‘He’s your dad, of course you care,’ Luke says. ‘And what he said? It’s bullshit, okay? You’re not a screw-up, and you’re not stupid.’
‘You hardly know me?—’
‘I know you well enough,’ he insists. ‘I know you’re a careful person, and you think things through. You surround yourself with good people who can help when things get messy. You’re—he’s wrong, okay? He’s not in your life and he doesn’t get a say in how you live it.’
He leans back to look at her, nudging her until she meets his gaze. He’s so close, their lips maybe six inches apart. His eyes are intense, dark and beautiful and right there. ‘Don’t listen to what he said, okay? We’re gonna figure this out.’
Chloe nods, a weak smile on her lips.
He must be a wonderful boyfriend. The thought pops into her head unbidden, but once it’s there it won’t leave. Not for the first time, she wonders if she made a mistake insisting they stay platonic for the baby.
Her breath catches in her chest when he starts to lean forward.
Chloe turns her head to the side.
‘Sorry,’ Luke says quietly, sitting back. He blows out a long breath. ‘I didn’t—I shouldn’t have tried?—’
‘It’s fine.’
‘It’s not,’ Luke insists. He runs his fingers through his curls. ‘You’re upset about your dad. There’s no reason why I should’ve tried to kiss you. I’m sorry.’
Chloe can’t stand the frown on his face, not when she wanted to kiss him, too. If they had been in any other situation, she would have welcomed it. But the idea of saying so out loud embarrasses her far more than it really should, so she swallows the confession back and nudges him in the side.
‘Don’t be,’ she tells him again. ‘It’s just, kissing is not very platonic, you know.’
She tries to say it like a joke, but it falls flat. Still, Luke laughs weakly.
‘It’s a shame,’ he says softly, ‘because you are exactly my type.’
And, well, Chloe doesn’t know what to say to that.