Chapter 8
‘Have you seen a doctor yet?’Lisa asks. Chloe can hear pots rattling on the other end of the phone call, and she’s hit with a sudden pang of homesickness. Mixed with the nausea she’s been feeling ever since she woke up, it hasn’t been a pleasant morning.
Chloe hums, taking a sip of water in the hopes that it will settle her stomach. ‘The appointment is today. Luke should be here any minute, actually.’
It’s been a week since Chloe and her friends joined Reckless 3 on tour, and Chloe’s still not used to everything yet; certainly not the unwanted fame that has come with it. Her social media accounts are still practically unusable. Even though Luke helped her private them, she’d gained thousands of followers in the hours before, and those couldn’t be removed without just deleting the whole account. Opening Twitter or Instagram is like standing in the way of a tidal wave, and Chloe’s found that it’s way too much for her to handle right now.
So, she deleted the apps off her phone and is trying out a no-social-media life. Besides the occasional urge to mindlessly scroll and the FOMO on all the newest trends, it’s been going quite well.
‘Oh, is Luke going with you?’ Chloe’s mom sounds surprised, and Chloe swallows a sigh.
‘Yeah, that’s kind of half the reason I’m here, remember?’ she asks instead. Lisa hums noncommittally. ‘He wants to be involved every step of the way.’
‘And how’s that going to work after the baby comes? Is he going to move to Nashville?’
Chloe doesn’t respond right away, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip. It’s a topic that hasn’t quite come up yet. To be honest, Chloe doesn’t know how it’s going to work when the baby comes. But really, she doesn’t want to admit that to her mother right now.
Thankfully, she’s saved by a knock on the door. ‘Oh, Luke’s here. Mom, I’ll call you after the appointment, okay? Love you,’ Chloe says quickly. She doesn’t let Lisa get a word in edgewise, and hangs up.
She grimaces at the dark screen of her phone for a moment (she’s definitely gonna pay for that later), but pockets it and heads to the door.
Luke’s in full incognito mode, which makes Chloe giggle just a bit when she sees him.
‘What?’ he asks, a grin on his own lips as well. He pulls his dark sunglasses down his nose so she can see his eyes and quirks an eyebrow.
‘Is all that really necessary?’ she asks. She gestures to, well, his whole body.
He’s wearing the darkest clothes imaginable, as if it will somehow make him invisible. Black T-shirt, black skinny jeans. He’s even got a black baseball cap on, and his dark curls poke out adorably underneath.
Luke shrugs. He pulls his sunglasses off and sets them on the bill of his hat. ‘I just want today to go well, you know?’
‘It will,’ Chloe says, more confidently than she really feels. She’s never been a fan of doctor’s offices. But she’s going to be seeing a lot more of them in the near future, so she’s decided to put on a brave face.
‘And it’ll go even better if we don’t have to deal with rabid fans in the waiting room,’ Luke responds. His gaze flickers behind her for a moment. ‘Are Devin and Elena not coming?’
‘Oh,’ Chloe says, ‘no, they’re not. They left already to go see colonial Williamsburg.’
Elena had asked Chloe about fifty times if she was okay with them going without her. It would have been sweet if it hadn’t been so annoying. Chloe had no interest in the site, and honestly was kind of glad she had an excuse to skip it.
‘So, it’s just us,’ Luke says, more to himself than to Chloe. Chloe smiles; she likes the sound of that a lot more than she should.
In the back of her mind, she hears him say again, ‘It’s such a shame, because you are exactly my type.’
‘Just us,’ she echoes faintly. ‘Shall we?’
The waiting room for the OBGYN is full of women, most of whom are in various stages of pregnancy. One woman has her young son next to her and is softly reading Green Eggs and Ham with the cadence of someone who’s read it 20 times today alone. Chloe’s lips twitch and vaguely she wonders what books her own baby will latch onto.
After signing in, Chloe and Luke found themselves an empty corner to wait in, sitting side by side in the office’s uncomfortable plastic chairs. For the fourth time since arriving, Chloe shifts in her seat, trying to find an angle that, at the very least, doesn’t hurt her bottom.
Luke’s slumped back in his chair, his leg bouncing incessantly. Even though they’re inside, he’s still got his sunglasses and hat on.
Chloe’s easily the youngest woman in the waiting room, and she doesn’t know how to feel about that. Her gaze flits from woman to woman, each more put-together than the last. They all look like they have their lives totally figured out, like they’ve planned their babies as the next step in their successful lives.
Chloe feels like such a child in comparison.
‘What’s up?’ Luke asks lowly, clearly having noticed that Chloe’s spaced out. He sets his phone on the chair next to him, giving her his undivided attention. Chloe shakes her head.
‘It’s nothing,’ she tells him. ‘I’m fine.’
Luke’s eyebrows raise, and he pulls his sunglasses down his nose enough so she can look him in the eye.
‘I’m fine,’ she insists. ‘I swear!’
‘If you’re nervous, you can say so,’ he tells her, not unkindly. With a shrug, he adds, ‘I’m nervous, too.’
Chloe blinks, and then a giggle slips out unbidden. ‘You’re nervous? What are you nervous for? I’m the one being examined!’
Ugh, she really didn’t need that reminder. But the slight coloring of Luke’s cheeks and the way he pulls his sunglasses back up over his eyes is enough to distract and delight her. It’s so fun to tease him.
‘Shut up,’ he mutters, looking away from her. Chloe’s nose wrinkles as she smiles and pokes his cheek.
‘You’re being silly,’ she tells him, poking him again. He bats at her hand lightly, definitely playing it up to get a laugh out of her.
It works. Chloe slaps her hands over her mouth, trying to muffle the giggles as she sits back in her chair. She pinches her nose to hold back the completely embarrassing snort she knows is on its way.
The smile on Luke’s face is bright enough to light up the whole office, and it does something funny to Chloe’s heart.
She’s pulled from her reverie as the little boy in the waiting room screeches, running straight into Chloe’s legs. He’s got a toy truck clutched in his pudgy little fist and smacks it hard on her knee.
‘Oh, hey!’ Chloe says, trying to keep her voice sweet while she winces. She blocks the little boy’s next blow, letting her palm take the hit instead. ‘That hurts, buddy.’
‘Truck!’ the boy shouts, thrusting his green truck into the air. He waves it around, babbling wordlessly with a grin.
He’s…kind of adorable, actually. His chubby little cheeks, unruly brown curls and bright eyes. His smile takes up half his face and it makes Chloe’s heart melt.
And then he smacks her with the toy truck again.
‘Oh, sweetie, please?—’
‘You like trucks, huh?’ Luke asks gently, cutting her off. He slides out of his chair and kneels on the floor next to the little boy, redirecting him so he doesn’t hit Chloe again. ‘What kind of truck is it? Do you know?’
‘G’bage!’
‘A garbage truck, very good!’ Luke coos, patting the boy’s head.
For a moment, it’s like Chloe can see into the future. Without even trying, she imagines the boy’s curls are darker like Luke’s and his eyes lighter like hers. The image almost shines, it’s so sweet and perfect.
Luke sits down on the floor and easily keeps the little boy engaged, asking him questions about trucks and pretending he understands the gibberish coming from the boy’s mouth.
‘I am so sorry!’ The boy’s mother finally catches up to him and scoops him up into her arms. She still has the Dr. Seuss book in her hand, and has to juggle her wiggling son until he sits on her hip. ‘He’s just learning to walk and well, he’s faster than I am with this.’
She gestures to her baby bump. Her son’s knee presses against it softly as she holds him tight to keep him from wiggling out of her grip.
‘How far along are you?’ Chloe asks.
The woman rolls her eyes, jerking her head back as her son sticks his fingers in her ear. ‘Seven months. I’m so ready to be done with it all and just have my little girl, you know?’
‘Yeah,’ Chloe says softly, her hand resting on her (non-existent) belly bump. The woman notices.
‘You’re gonna be fine,’ she tells Chloe kindly. Luke returns to his seat next to Chloe, and the woman nods at him. ‘You’re not alone, you know.’
Chloe glances at Luke, and she can’t help the smile that spreads across her face. ‘I know.’
‘Tch. You two are too adorable,’ the woman says.
Hot blood rushes to Chloe’s cheeks and out of the corner of her eye she can see that Luke’s flushing as well.
Chloe stammers a little. ‘Oh! Um, thanks, but we’re—I mean, we?—’
Luke, used to a life of unexpected questions and comments from fans and interviewers alike, composes himself quickly. He places a hand on Chloe’s leg and says a genuine, ‘Thank you.’
‘Chloe Cameron?’
A nurse dressed in colorful scrubs stands at the door, a clipboard in hand. She scans the room, looking for Chloe.
All at once, everything inside Chloe freezes and for a moment she doesn’t move. Can’t move. Butterflies flutter in her stomach and suddenly she just really does not want to be here. Doesn’t want to be poked and examined by a doctor she doesn’t know.
It had been easy, keeping her mind off her own nerves by poking fun at Luke’s. Now, though, she can’t help but wonder if he’d judge her for running out the door right now.
‘Chloe Cameron?’ the nurse calls again.
‘Sorry, yeah, that’s us,’ Luke says, waving his hand. He turns to Chloe and stands, grabbing her purse and her water bottle for her. He holds out a hand. ‘We got this,’ he tells her quietly, and maybe it’s his turn to be brave for her.
She takes his hand and follows him to the nurse, and together they head into the examination room.
Chloe sits on the examination bed, swinging her feet a little as she waits. Luke hesitates just a moment, like he doesn’t know if he should stand next to her or sit in the chair across the small room.
‘Just sit down,’ Chloe says with a wave of her hand. ‘We’re probably going to be here a while.’
Luke huffs a laugh, but does as she says. He pulls his hat off and drops it in his lap, pushing his sunglasses up so they sit on his head. ‘Any idea what to expect?’
Chloe eyes the stirrups attached to her chair and hopes against hope that she won’t have to use them today. The thought alone makes her cheeks burn.
‘It should just be a check-up,’ she tells him. ‘My mom said they’ll probably prescribe some prenatal vitamins and make sure I know what I can and can’t eat, or do. Check to make sure the baby’s healthy, though it’s so early I don’t know how much they’ll be able to see.’
They fall into silence as they wait for the doctor to arrive, but it’s not a bad silence. It’s…companionable, almost. The two of them are in their own heads, likely thinking about the same thing.
Intellectually, Chloe’s known this pregnancy is real since she sat in the CVS bathroom with a positive test in her hand. She wouldn’t be here, halfway across the country with a man she hardly knows, if she didn’t know this was really happening.
But still, something about being here, being examined by a doctor, really cements it in. This is real. This is happening.
Chloe’s going to be a mother.
Someone knocks at the door, and a nurse lets herself in to get Chloe’s information. She works quickly, taking Chloe’s blood pressure and temperature. She asks a few questions and then leaves her a paper gown to change into and a cup to pee in.
‘I’ll, uh, be right back, then,’ Chloe tells Luke, feeling stupidly embarrassed as she grabs the items and runs to the bathroom. She returns a minute later, her clothes folded in her hands.
She can’t help the smile that grows on her lips when she spots Luke, hunched over in his chair and totally immersed in one of the pamphlets from the counter. The front reads: Top Tips for New Dads: Everything You Need to Know to Be the Best Partner You Can Be!
It warms her heart to see how much he cares.
Chloe settles back on the bed with her pile of clothes in her lap and tries not to focus on how exposed she feels. Instead, she looks at the other pamphlets on the counter, debating which ones they should take on their way out.
There’s another knock at the door, and it opens a moment later to reveal a woman about Chloe’s mom’s age. Her gray-streaked hair is pulled back into a braid and she’s got a pair of glasses hanging from her lab coat’s pocket.
‘Good morning, you two!’ the doctor says as she closes the door behind her. She shakes Chloe’s hand. ‘I’m Dr. Adams. You’re Chloe, right?’
Chloe nods, her shoulders relaxing. Dr. Adams has a soothing quality about her, and it makes this whole thing feel much less scary than before.
‘Well, I suppose I should start with “congratulations!”’ Dr. Adams places a hand on Chloe’s shoulder warmly, then nods to Luke. ‘And is this the father?’
Luke nods. ‘I am. I’m Luke.’ He stands to shake her hand.
Dr. Adams launches into the appointment with full force. She’s kind and understanding of their situation—the fact that they’re currently touring the country with Luke’s band, that is.
Dr. Adams looks thoughtful for a moment and says, ‘If you can give me a list of the cities you’ll be in, I could try to help you find some doctors to see while you’re on the road. How much longer is your tour?’
‘About six weeks,’ Luke answers. Dr. Adams nods.
‘You’ll need to see a doctor at least once more while on the road, then,’ she tells Chloe. ‘After that, you should focus on finding a primary doctor for the rest of your pregnancy.’
At the tailend of the appointment, Dr. Adams asks Chloe to lie back on the bed and place her feet in the stirrups. Chloe obliges, grimacing as the stirrups force her knees apart.
‘This is the most exciting part,’ Dr. Adams says. She places a paper sheet over Chloe’s knees to give her some privacy as she pulls up the gown underneath. She waves at Luke to stand on Chloe’s other side. ‘Get closer! You’ll want to see.’
‘See wh—’ Luke starts, but cuts himself off when Dr. Adams adjusts the screen for the ultrasound.
‘This will be just a bit cold,’ Dr. Adams says before smearing gel over Chloe’s belly. She gasps at the chill, earning a chuckle from the doctor.
Instinctively, Chloe grabs Luke’s hand and holds it tight. To her surprise, (though, really, should she be surprised?) Luke squeezes back and doesn’t let go.
The first image on the screen is so grainy that Chloe can’t tell there’s anything there at all.
‘This is supposed to be the baby, right?’ Luke asks with uncertainty. Chloe’s glad he spoke up, if only so she didn’t have to.
‘It is the baby,’ Dr. Adams replies. ‘You’re roughly seven weeks pregnant, so the baby is only about the size of a coffee bean. See right there?’ She shifts her hand that’s holding the wand, and a small gray blob at the edge of the image moves more center.
Chloe points. ‘Is-is that it?’
Dr. Adams chuckles. ‘It’s not much to look at yet, but by now the baby will be growing quite quickly.’
A lump forms in Chloe’s throat. She swallows against it, blinking back the tears pricking at her eyes. Although it looks like nothing, but it’s her baby. Her coffee-bean-sized baby, right there on the screen.
Luke clears his throat and uses the back of his free hand to wipe his cheek. Chloe almost wants to tease him for it, to make light of this truly momentous moment by calling him soft, but her own tears spill over and the words die on her lips.
Dr. Adams kindly gives them a moment to compose themselves before printing out copies of the sonogram and turning the machine off. She hands Chloe some wipes to get the goo off her stomach and then removes her gloves.
‘Well, I’m sorry this will be our only appointment together,’ she says. She tosses her used gloves in the trash and smiles at the two of them. ‘But you and your baby both seem to be perfectly healthy.’
Luke squeezes Chloe’s hand again at that, and she pretends that the bright spike of happiness she feels is solely about this moment with her baby.
Dr. Adams grabs her clipboard and opens the door. As a final thought, she tells them, ‘You two are such a beautiful couple. I’m sure your child will be, too.’
Again, Chloe’s cheeks begin to color and she starts to stammer in an attempt to explain that they’re not a couple, not really, but Luke, once again, just thanks her.
‘I’m just hoping our baby will be half as beautiful as Chloe here,’ he says, earning an appreciative laugh from Dr. Adams. ‘Right, honey?’
Chloe blinks, realizing he’s talking to her.
‘Yeah,’ she says weakly, her stomach dropping.
As soon as Dr. Adams shuts the door behind her, Chloe wrenches her hand from Luke’s. She quickly cleans herself off with the wipes the doctor left.
‘Can you step out so I can change?’ she asks. Luke’s eyebrows furrow, but he nods and does as she asks.
Chloe emerges from the room a moment later, redressed. Her hands are full of the sonogram pictures, her bag and the pamphlets, but she just waves Luke off when he offers to carry something for her.
‘What’s wrong?’ Luke asks once they make it back to the car. The sun is bright in the sky above them, reflecting off the blacktop parking lot. Chloe climbs into the car and drops her things in her lap. Luke follows suit. ‘Chloe?’
‘I just…didn’t like you pretending we were a couple in there,’ she admits after a moment. Luke pauses, clearly not expecting that answer.
‘What’s it matter?’ he asks.
‘It’s a lie,’ she reminds him. As if he needs reminding.
‘We’re never going to see her again,’ he says, ‘so why spend the energy trying to explain all this,’ he waves a hand between the two of them, ‘when we can just go along with it?’
‘I just don’t like it,’ she repeats. Her gaze drops to the pile of things in her lap. The sonogram is on top, and she almost feels like her coffee-bean-baby is staring up at her. ‘Please, don’t do it again.’
‘Alright, I won’t,’ Luke says finally, like he still doesn’t get it. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s fine,’ she mumbles.
She stares at the picture of her baby, and reminds herself that this is for the best. Maybe it’s easy for Luke to joke about it and act like a one-off pretense isn’t a big deal because he doesn’t see how easily it could be true. One change of heart on Chloe’s end and it would be—they could easily become a real couple. A real family.
It’s terrifying, to know it all rests on her shoulders. And as much as she likes the idea of them being a real family, she knows it’s not a good idea.
Because real families have the ability to fall apart. And Chloe has to protect her little coffee bean from going through that kind of pain like she did.
Still, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t wish it were true.