Chapter 23
Chloe stayswith Devin until late that night, the two of them spending much of the day lounging on Devin’s hotel bed and catching up on all the things they’ve missed. It reminds Chloe of middle school, when they spent every weekend at each other’s houses and acted like not seeing each other for a single day was the end of the world.
‘So, how’s playing house with Luke going?’ Devin asks after they get room service delivered. It’s evening now, and so far Chloe’s avoided mentioning her growing feelings to Devin. Partially because she doesn’t want to make everything about her again, but also because she knows what Devin’s going to say.
Chloe takes a bite of her burger (sans pickles, which have tragically been the casualty in this week’s War Against Morning Sickness), a thinly-veiled excuse to not answer. Devin quirks an eyebrow and points a french fry at her.
‘Something happened.’ It’s not a question.
Chloe leans forward and bites the fry out of Devin’s hand, earning herself a smack on the arm.
‘Stop stalling,’ Devin chides. ‘Spill.’
And just like Chloe used to do during those middle school sleepovers, she spills everything. How being in his house is simultaneously everything she’s ever wanted and completely torture. How their late-night study sessions have led to almost kissing more than once, and what happened after she finally met his parents.
‘Everything’s a mess now, Dev,’ she says thickly. ‘I keep fucking everything up.’
Devin’s quiet a moment. ‘You gotta figure out what you want, Chlo.’
‘I—’ Chloe hesitates. ‘I just want us to be okay. I want the baby to have two parents who don’t fight, who don’t have all this mess going on. The other stuff—wanting all that doesn’t matter.’
Devin looks like she wants to argue, but sighs and pushes her fries over so Chloe can steal a couple. Chloe takes a handful, and for a long moment they eat in silence.
Then, ‘You know, I feel like all I’ve been hearing this past few weeks is how excited Luke is to be a dad,’ Devin says. Chloe’s eyes widen.
‘Really?’
Devin nods thoughtfully. ‘It feels like whenever I see Quinn or Maverick, I hear how excited he is, how prepared he feels.’ Devin laughs a little, smiling fondly. ‘Quinn’s even bitched about it multiple times. She always pegged Luke as someone who’d never be able to get his shit together, and she hates being proven wrong.’
Chloe swallows against a lump in her throat ‘Wow.’
Devin glances at her, then pulls her into a side-hug. ‘I don’t know what to tell you about being in love with him or fucking him or whatever else, but you need to at least figure everything out so you can both be good parents, okay? The whole reason you didn’t want to date him was to give your child a stable life. How do you suppose that will happen if you don’t speak to him and work this out? So, use your big girl words and talk it out. Like, today. You want it, he wants it. It’ll work out.’
‘You think?’
Devin nods. ‘Of course it will, because I’ll kick his ass if it doesn’t.’
The next day, Chloe wakes up knowing Devin’s right. She needs to talk to Luke. Today. She’d left Devin’s hotel late the night before, but Luke was still out when she arrived back at the house. Inwardly, she wonders if their time at the studio had actually run so long, or if he’s avoiding her, too.
But today, he’s still here by the time she’s up and dressed, so she’s got no excuses. And if she takes an extra minute to braid her hair, just to procrastinate this conversation a little longer…well, no one but she and her unborn baby will ever know.
As Chloe ties off her second braid, she hears a loud shout reverberate through the echoey house.
Chloe finds Luke in the game room downstairs practically dancing in circles. He whirls around when she knocks on the doorframe, his smile so big it could crack his face in two.
‘I did it,’ he tells her, breathless. ‘I did it—I passed!’
Chloe’s jaw drops. Then, without thinking, she squeals and jumps to hug him. ‘Oh my god, that’s amazing!’
Luke squeezes her, spinning the two of them around as he whoops.
‘I’m so proud of you. You worked so hard,’ Chloe says as he sets her back on the floor. She pauses. ‘Wait, when did you take the test?’
Luke grimaces a little. ‘Uh, a few days ago?’
‘Ah,’ she says, mentally wincing. She would have known he was taking it if she hadn’t been avoiding him so much. That stings. ‘Sorry I wasn’t there to cheer you on. But look at you! You did it!’
Luke beams, letting the awkward moment pass easily. ‘I just—I can’t believe I actually passed,’ he confesses.
Chloe scoffs in disbelief. ‘What do you mean? You aced all our practice work! I never doubted you for a second.’
Luke shrugs. ‘I don’t know, I guess I thought you were going easy on me. Turns out, you’re just a really great teacher.’ He taps her nose, and his smile somehow gets even bigger when she wrinkles it in response.
Chloe preens a little at the praise. ‘Well, you were a great student. If all students were like you, teaching wouldn’t be such a difficult profession.’
‘No, you definitely had a lot to do with it,’ Luke argues. Chloe’s eyes narrow; they could keep going back and forth like this all night.
‘You shouldn’t be downplaying your accomplishment like that,’ she tells him. ‘You worked really hard for this. Be proud of yourself!’
It takes a bit more cajoling, but Luke finally relents and agrees with her. ‘I did work hard. I just—I don’t know, I never thought I could do it. It’s kind of a dumb thing to be proud of, graduating high school six years late.’
‘It’s not dumb,’ Chloe says. ‘In my opinion, it’s got to be harder to go back and do it after being away for so long. But you passed! There’s no reason you shouldn’t be proud of that.’
Maybe it’s the ferocity in her voice or the sincerity in her eyes, but she can actually see the tension leave Luke’s shoulders. It makes her sad actually, to know how many people have belittled him and his accomplishments in his life. His parents, his manager, his bandmates. People who should have been his number one supporters are the reason he’s still insecure about his own talents.
Chloe wishes she could be that person for him—his biggest supporter, always by his side, reassuring him how special he is. Making him smile the way he was right now.
Chloe claps her hands together, drowning out that thought. ‘That’s it! We’re going out to celebrate because this is something to be proud of. If you won’t be proud of yourself, I’ll be proud enough for the both of us.’
‘We don’t?—’
‘Get dressed. Now,’ she adds, when it looks like Luke is going to argue some more. He holds his hands up in defeat, a smile playing on his lips, and does as she says.
Chloe sends a couple texts while she waits for Luke to get ready. She takes a seat at the kitchen table, her leg bouncing anxiously as she waits.
It feels a little too convenient for all this to happen just as she was going to try to fix everything with Luke. She knows Devin and Elena won’t believe it was a coincidence when she tells them.
After. She’ll talk to him after they properly celebrate Luke getting his GED.
Maverick suggests some high-end place in the Hills, so that’s where they all end up. The restaurant is closed for them (something that still feels so bizarre to Chloe), so it’s easy to spot the others when Chloe and Luke arrive.
Devin and Quinn are sitting on opposite sides of the table, pointedly not looking at each other. Actually, Devin isn’t paying Quinn much attention at all; instead, she’s talking with a woman Chloe’s never seen who seems to be glued to Maverick’s side.
Chloe somehow feels even more out-of-the-loop than normal.
‘There you are!’ Maverick shouts when he spots the two of them making their way to the table. They’re sitting in front of a huge window with a view of the ocean. It glitters in the LA sun. ‘
The man of the hour.’
Luke pauses, surprise on his face. He looks to Chloe, then to the table, and back once more.
‘I told you we’d be celebrating, didn’t I?’ Chloe asks, feeling a little giddy as a smile grows on his face.
God, Luke has such a nice smile. It really isn’t fair.
‘You put this together?’ Luke asks as they take their seats across from each other. They’re in a corner booth, so Chloe squeezes in on the end next to Devin. Chloe nods.
‘Well, Quinn and Maverick were the ones to get us a place reserved on such short notice.’
Quinn waves a hand. ‘It was nothing. I can get a restaurant cleared out in ten minutes if I want.’
The girl sitting between Devin and Maverick giggles at that. ‘Oh, this is Mariana, by the way. We were…hanging out when Chloe called, so I figured it was okay she tagged along,’ Maverick says. He introduces everyone quickly.
Chloe murmurs a ‘hi’ as Mariana scoots in closer, practically pressing herself into Maverick’s side. He certainly has a way with women, Chloe has to give him that much.
Instinctively, Chloe glances at Devin and notes the frown on her face. She nudges Devin softly, but Devin just shakes her head, almost sadly.
It’s the first time Chloe’s seen Devin and Maverick in the same room without Devin flirting with him. Chloe can’t help but wonder. But she doesn’t have a chance to ask, not at the table with everyone while they’re celebrating Luke’s accomplishment.
To herself, she resolves to ask Devin later.
The waiter brings everyone water and passes out menus. Chloe balks for a moment at the prices—she’ll never get used to the price of places like this—but skims to see what she might like. Everyone is quiet for a moment, except for Mariana, who keeps asking Maverick dumb questions about the menu.
Devin huffs and rolls her eyes, though her menu blocks anyone but Chloe from seeing. Mariana hears it, though, and turns with a frown on her face. They start whispering, practically hissing, to each other, faint enough that Chloe can’t hear, when Maverick closes his menu.
‘So, your GED.’ He whistles. ‘That’s big, man. Congrats.’
Luke still looks like he can’t believe this is happening. ‘Thanks.’
‘I know I could never do it.’ Maverick sounds almost wistful. It makes Chloe realize that maybe Maverick has more going on behind the scenes than she, or even Luke ever realized.
‘Yeah, well,’ Luke says, looking delightfully bashful. He tips his glass towards Chloe. ‘I couldn’t have done it without Chloe. Maybe she could tutor you, too.’
‘I could get it if I wanted. I choose not to,’ Quinn says with a shrug. She folds her arms over her menu. ‘I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me I’m intelligent.’
‘My getting my GED had nothing to do with proving my intelligence,’ Luke shoots back. ‘I don’t need to prove myself to anyone.’
Devin and Mariana fall silent at Luke’s words. For a long moment, it’s so quiet Chloe thinks she hears a pin drop. Then, Quinn exhales sharply.
‘Fair point, Waters,’ she admits. ‘Sorry.’
Luke waits a beat. Clearly, he’s expecting something…bigger. More negative. Definitely not an apology. He clears his throat and nods once. ‘Thanks.’
Maverick nods approvingly. ‘Look at you, Lou, all grown up.’
Luke makes a face. ‘Don’t call me that!’
‘You used to love it!’
‘When I was fourteen?—’
‘Aww, Lukey…’ Quinn cuts in with a teasing smirk.
Chloe watches in amusement as the three of them devolve into squabbles; Maverick and Quinn teasing Luke, and Luke actually looking like he’s enjoying himself. It might be the first time she’s seen him with his bandmates where he actually looks confident.
It’s a good look on him.
They quit, finally, when the waiter returns for their orders. Things settle down some, idle chatter and jokes, as they sip on their water and wait for their meal.
Chloe’s gaze drifts up to Luke, only to find him looking straight at her.
‘Really,’ Luke adds in a hushed tone. He kicks her shin lightly until she meets his gaze. His deep, serious, mesmerizing gaze. ‘Thank you, Chlo.’
‘I—you’re welcome.’
‘Have you ever thought about going into teaching?’ he asks. He takes a long sip of his drink, but his eyes never leave Chloe’s. It makes her feel like she’s the most important person in the room. A shiver runs up her spine.
‘I kind of have,’ she admits slowly. ‘I’d have to go back to school for it, but I think I might be good at it.’
‘You would be amazing,’ Luke says. ‘I’m proof.’
Chloe’s gaze sharpens, but the smirk on Luke’s lip gives him away. He’s winding her up.
She kicks him in the shin, just a bit harder than he’d done to her. He kicks back, and then they’re in a slightly-hardcore game of footsie.
‘Ow!’ Devin yelps when Luke misses and hits her instead.
‘Shit, I’m sorry,’ Luke apologizes, but there’s a laugh in his voice. Chloe has to look anywhere else to keep from giggling, too.
‘Okay, lovebirds,’ Quinn says dryly. ‘Maybe cool it until you get home. I’d like to eat my food in peace, thanks.’
‘God forbid they have any fun,’ Devin snips back. Quinn’s eyes narrow and Chloe can practically feel static in the air.
Chloe decides that, for the rest of the night, she should keep them from interacting. For Luke’s sake, at least.
The whole night—the whole day, really—has been so good, so of course it has to come crashing down around Chloe’s feet. Luke doesn’t stop smiling the entire way home, singing along to the radio loudly and hilariously off-key.
‘You’re a professional singer,’ Chloe laughs. ‘I know you can hit that note!’
‘It’s more fun this way! Come on, try it.’ Luke nudges her with his elbow, humming along with the beat until the chorus comes back around. Chloe knows the song well enough, so while her cheeks burn with embarrassment, she lets Luke’s joy infect her and belts out loud and proud.
They practically scream through the end of the song together, Chloe’s eyes shut tight as she shouts and sings.
‘Hell yeah!’ Luke whoops, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he pulls into the driveway.
Chloe lets out an exhilarated laugh. This was fun. Really fun. As she slips her phone into her purse and makes sure she hasn’t dropped anything else, Luke gets out and runs around to open the car door for her.
‘Thanks,’ she says with a soft smile, taking his proffered hand for balance. It’s clearly needed as Chloe stumbles straight into Luke’s arms.
For a heartbeat, she can’t do anything but stare up at him. In the dim light of the dying day, Luke’s eyes look darker than normal. Enchanting. His lips part just a bit, and she can feel his breath catch in his chest.
He isn’t laughing anymore. He holds her like she’s made of glass—precious, lovely, and oh-so-delicate. His arm curves around her back, pulling her in close. She takes a willing step, tilting her head up towards his.
It’s like she’s under a spell. Her mind, usually so full of all the reasons she shouldn’t be doing this, is blank.
In the end, it’s Chloe who closes the distance between the two of them, pressing her lips against his. She gasps into his mouth like he’s a breath of fresh air.
She hasn’t kissed Luke nearly enough, she decides right then. He holds her close, turning and pressing her against the car. Kissing him is electric, his hand lighting fires on her skin as they roam her body. They move from Chloe’s hips, to her waist, then up until they cradle her face. She feels every nerve alight, practically tingling from his touch.
‘Chloe,’ Luke moans as he kisses the side of her mouth. He moves down her jawline to her neck, punctuating each word with a hard kiss. ‘Is,’ kiss, ‘this,’ kiss, ‘okay?’
Chloe’s eyes flutter shut, focusing solely on his lips on her skin and how good it feels. She whimpers in response, her fingers digging into his curls loosely as he kisses her over and over.
When she doesn’t give him a coherent answer, Luke pulls back and asks again. ‘Is this okay?’
A cool breeze blows through, ruffling her clothes and her hair. Without Luke’s lips on her, it’s easier to think.
‘Chloe.’ Luke urges, his voice low and intense. All at once, the spell breaks for Chloe, and she realizes just what she’s done.
Instead of talking to Luke, redefining their boundaries and sticking to them, she’s just trampled all over them. One charged look and she’s putty in his hands.
It feels like the sky just crashed around her feet.
‘Luke, I—we need to—I—’ Chloe stammers, pushing his shoulder. He moves easily, hurt evident on his face. ‘This can’t happen,’ she finally spits out.
‘Don’t say that,’ Luke breathes. ‘Chloe, I know you’re scared, but?—’
‘Can we just go inside, please?’ Chloe begs, looking anywhere but him. She’s dizzy from the kiss—the insane, perfect, wonderfully, wholly inappropriate kiss—and she can’t think straight.
Luke tries to protest, but Chloe shakes her head and makes for the door.
‘Chloe, please,’ Luke calls, following right behind. She makes it to the staircase before he grabs her wrist and forces her to look at him. ‘I can’t keep having this fight with you. We need to talk about it.’
‘We’ve talked about it,’ Chloe reminds him. God, she hates how tears sting in her eyes. This was supposed to be a happy day, a day to celebrate Luke’s success, and she’s ruining it. She’s always ruining everything. ‘You just don’t like my decision.’
‘Because you say one thing and then do another!’ Chloe recoils from the desperation that drips from Luke’s voice. ‘You say we need to stay platonic, and then you look at me like I’m your favorite person in the world. You swear you don’t have feelings for me, but then you fuck me in my car?—’
‘That’s not?—’
‘You say we can’t be together, that this isn’t worth even trying, but then you kiss the ever-loving shit out of me! You did that, not me.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Chloe cuts in, her voice thick. ‘I wasn’t thinking.’
Luke scoffs. ‘I’m in love with you, Chloe. And I’m willing to bet you’re in love with me, too. We fit together perfectly, and I know you see it. We could be great, you and me.’
Chloe grinds her teeth, warring thoughts in her head. She can’t deny he’s right. Despite their differences, they could be fantastic together. They could burn so bright.
But that’s the thing about flames; there’s always a chance they can go out.
‘It’s not—’ Her voice breaks. She places a hand on her baby bump, a reminder of why she’s breaking her own heart again and again. She tries again, her voice strong. ‘It’s not about what I want, Luke. It’s about the baby. Okay, I know what it’s like to watch your parents fall out of love, to be up late into the night because they’re fighting. To feel like you’re the problem when they sit you down to tell you they’re breaking up. I don’t want that for our kid.’
‘I think you’re just scared, and you’re using the baby as an excuse to keep your distance,’ he says coldly. It’s a stab right in her heart. ‘You know we’re not your parents. Even if we, God forbid, broke up, we wouldn’t be like them. I wouldn’t be like him.’
‘Tha-that’s not even everything,’ Chloe stammers, taken aback by his ferocity. He’s fighting for her, for them, she realizes. So, she switches gears to the issue on the table. The one neither of them have spoken up about since the very beginning. ‘How are you even going to be around when I’m in Nashville?’
Luke stops, looking very much like Chloe just dumped a bucket of water on his head. ‘What?’
‘I mean, I’m going to be going home soon. We know that, right?’ Chloe says with an attempt at a nonchalant shrug, though she feels anything but. ‘I live in Nashville. My family, my friends, my whole life is out there. My mom’s already got doctors lined up for me, and a job. You haven’t even—we’ve never even discussed how often you’re going to be around when I’m back home.’
Bitterly, Chloe can tell this was a successful diversion. Luke’s face is painted in shock. He opens his mouth, then closes it. She can almost hear the gears whirring in his head.
He never even considered that she wouldn’t drop her whole life and move to California for him, did he?
Chloe eyes the staircase, trying to decide if Luke’s stunned enough for her to escape to her room. No, not her room. The guest room.
Because, no matter whether or not they would be good together, Chloe’s always just going to be a guest in his life.
‘I—why wouldn’t you come out here, with me?’ Luke asks before Chloe can make a break for it. ‘I told you from the start I wanted to be in the baby’s life. How can I do that when my whole life, my career, is in LA?’
Chloe shrugs uncomfortably. ‘I don’t know,’ she admits quietly.
‘And you’re not…You’re not willing to stay?’ Luke’s eyes shine, and Chloe thinks she’s never hated herself more than she does right now. She should never have been put in a position where she could break Luke Waters’ heart.
‘And give up my home?’
‘And gain a family. With me.’
‘Luke—’
‘You wouldn’t have to work. I would take care of us. It would be me, you and our baby, Chlo. Hell, you could get your teaching certificate, if you want. You’d be an amazing teacher; you’re so good at it. We could be happy here.’
Chloe meets Luke’s gaze. She wants, more than anything, to believe what he says. That she could be happy in this big house, this sticky-hot state, so far from all her loved ones. That he would take care of her and her baby, that it wouldn’t be the two of them against the world.
You’re gonna end up on your own, broke, with a baby no one wants.
I’m done listening to you ruin your life. Get your shit together or leave me the hell alone.
Her father’s venomous voice whispers in her ear. It reminds her how easily everything can fall apart.
Luke may be willing to risk it all on the chance they make it. But Chloe sure isn’t.
And so Chloe does the one thing she’s good at; she runs away.