19. Chapter 19
Talmage
“ D on’t you think you’re too young to be planning a future with someone?” Jacob asks quietly over our biology worksheet.
“Everyone always says you’ll know when you find the one, so why shouldn’t I know Mack’s the one, even if we’re young?”
“You don’t even want to try to date other girls? You know when we get to high school there will be so many more options. You’ll have the girls from the other junior high to interact with. What if you meet someone else you like more than Mack?”
I shake my head. “Not possible.” There won’t be anyone I like more than Mack because I love her. It’s not possible to love someone more than I love her. The fact he keeps bringing it up is starting to irritate me.
“I’m just saying, I think it might—”
“Please stop before someone else hears.”
“I don’t want either of you to get hurt. You’re both my friends, and it would be awkward if things ended and I had to choose a side.”
“Good thing nothing’s going to end, then.”
I could castrate Enoch for the ridiculous comment at lunch. Acting like he’s not also a freaking virgin.
I’m so embarrassed he said it in front of Mack, even though I’m sure she deduced I was a virgin already. If I can’t even say a swear word, there’s no way I broke one of the cardinal rules of the church and had sex before marriage.
Am I a loser? Does that make me bland? Boring? I hope it doesn’t change her opinion of me.
Mack looked just as mortified as I was, though, and I can’t help but wonder if sex with me scares her. Is it a turnoff that I don’t know what I’m doing?
I would be more than happy to learn! I’d love to spend hours learning exactly what she likes—
Nope. Lose that train of thought.
If she doesn’t even want to kiss because she’s worried about blurring the lines, then doing anything more intimate would for sure be off the table.
Too bad the logical part of me recognizes that, but the rest of me doesn’t.
I want to explore Mack’s curves. Create a roadmap over the hills and planes of her body.
Figure out what other tattoos she has and learn the stories behind them.
I want to press our naked skin together and bask in her warmth.
If it never led to sex, then I’d be perfectly content, but I’m dying to know how her skin feels against mine—
Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah, Jesus anointed that prophet and seer…
The hymn barely works to stop the flow of blood down south.
We’re almost back to Mack’s house, and we haven’t talked much the whole ride. Lizzie and the twins are stopping to pick up the girls’ things for their sleepover, but when they leave, it’ll just be me and my wife.
My wife. My wife. My wife.
I back into the slanted driveway so I can easily transport the boxes from the back.
“Let’s go in and change, then I’ll help you move boxes.” Mack unbuckles and gets out before I can protest. I quickly snag my duffle bag from the back before following her up the porch steps.
“I thought I could change and grab Siren, if that’s okay? She’s been in her kennel a little longer than I usually like to leave her.”
Mack nods. “Sure, of course. I cleared out a spot by the back door for her kennel and bowls, but if you need a different place, we can move it. Just let me know.”
She unlocks the front door, and I follow her through the living room over to an area next to the back door where the table’s been turned and slid over.
“Is this enough space? We don’t use the dining table often, so we can just put it somewhere else if she needs more space. ”
Affection for my wife turns my heart to mush. “This is perfect. Thank you, Mack.”
“It’s nothing, really.”
I knock her shoulder with mine, even though what I really want to do is wrap her in a hug and kiss her silly. “It means a lot.”
The front door bursts open, and Mack’s sisters don’t spare us a glance before they’re rushing to their room.
Lizzie walks in and gives us a knowing grin before she produces a wrapped box from her purse and tosses it to me.
“Happy wedding day, lovebirds. May your love prosper and grow and yada yada.”
“Lizzie, what did you buy?” Mack tries to grab the box from me, but I hold it away from her.
Lizzie grins like the Cheshire Cat. “Just something every newlywed couple needs.”
I unwrap the box, revealing… oh my goodness.
“A forty-count pack of condoms?! Lizzie! What the hell?” Mack whisper-shouts.
Lizzie shrugs. “I know you can’t get pregnant, but it’s still important to practice safe sex.
I even bought the variety pack so you have options.
They have ultra-ribbed, her pleasure, and double ecstasy.
Oh!” She rifles around in her bag again.
“I also got you this, Mack, but don’t open it in front of Tal.
You can surprise him later.” She tosses Mack a wink and hands her a tissue wrapped bundle.
Can’t get pregnant? What does she mea—
“Lizzie,” Mack warns through clenched teeth, a flush crawling up her neck.
“It’s okay, Mack, I know she’s just joking around. You’d probably be better off with this box than I would, though.” I hand it back to Lizzie.
She rolls her eyes but takes the box from me. “Ugh. You guys are such prudes. You’re married now! The Mormon rules don’t apply anymore. Might as well make the most of your time together. Share some pleasure.”
She has a point…
I look over at Mack who’s shaking her head.
Guess she doesn’t agree.
I clear my throat. “Well, thank you for being there for us today. I should go change so I can go get Siren.”
“Thank you for lunch.”
I give her a nod, then take my duffle bag down.
When I’m halfway down the stairs, I hear Mack’s frustrated tone and stop to listen, even though I know I probably shouldn’t.
“What in the actual hell, Elizabeth? You can’t just give him a box of condoms and me lingerie!
You know that’s not what this is! We literally just talked about this.
Not to mention you can’t just go around telling people I can’t get pregnant.
I’m not even remotely ready to have that conversation with him. ”
“I’m sorry I brought up the pregnancy thing. But come on, Mack. Let’s not pretend you don’t want to know what he’s packing underneath that suit. You told me yourself you’ve had dreams—”
“And you promised not to bring those up again! Doing… that with Talmage would cross so many lines, and my heart can’t handle the fallout. This was a bit too far, Lizzie. ”
“I’m sorry, Mack.” Lizzie’s voice sounds genuinely remorseful. “I just want to see you happy, and having him back in your life—”
“Is temporary. I can’t let myself get attached because he’ll leave eventually, and then you’ll have to deal with the aftermath.”
I don’t hear what Lizzie says next because I book it to Mack’s room—our room?—to process the information I’ve just learned.
Maybe I’m just being hopeful, but it almost sounds like Mack wants this to be more, be real. Has she thought about what it would be like to be intimate with me? I’ve actively tried to avoid thinking about what anything more than kissing would be like with Mack but sometimes my dreams…
My groin stirs, and I shake my head, quickly changing out of my suit and into a pair of joggers and a Springville FD hoodie. I trade my dress socks for regular crew ones and take my tennis shoes upstairs where Mack is standing in the kitchen, scrolling on her phone.
“Are the twins gone?” I ask, startling her. “Sorry, I thought you heard me.”
“It’s okay. Yeah, they left. I’m sorry about Lizzie and her… gift .”
I shrug. “No big deal. Like I said, I know she was just joking around. I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable.”
“Still, it was a boundary she shouldn’t have crossed, you know? I promise she won’t do it again.”
“Seriously, it’s all good. I’m going to go grab Siren. Do you want me to pick anything up on my way back? ”
Mack shakes her head. “No, but thank you. I’ve already cleared a section of the closet out for you and a few drawers so…”
I step towards her and open my arms, hoping she’ll take my offered hug. My pulse leaps when she does, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Why don’t you go take a bath or something, relax for a little bit. I know today was a lot, and you probably could use some time to yourself.”
She sighs, her breath warming the spot just below my shoulder. “Okay. Thank you. I’ll see you when you get back.”
I give her one last squeeze. “See you soon.”