32. Chapter 32
Talmage
“ D id you hear Mackenzie had to miss rehearsal today because she had to go to the hospital?” one of the girls next to me in choir whispers to her friend.
My ears perk up at the mention of Mack.
Things between us have been cordial. She rarely looks at me if she doesn’t have to, but I don’t blame her.
I’ve heard she’s dated a few other guys. I’ve seen her pictures with them on dates or at dances on Facebook.
I’m happy she seems happy.
Except sometimes, I wonder if she’s actually happy, or if she’s putting on a really good mask. She’s looked tired lately and has missed a lot of school.
We’re choreography partners again for the spring musical, and not having her at rehearsal makes it difficult to do the right steps.
Something must be really wrong if she’s at the hospital, and worry slithers up my spine .
I can’t hear the rest of the conversation, but I make a mental note to ask her if she’s okay at our next rehearsal. Not that she’ll tell me anything.
There’s been another shift since I had the honor of tasting Mack a few nights ago—since she kissed me tenderly, and my lips haven’t felt the same.
We sleep curled together now, and I’ve braved giving her kisses goodbye, but we haven’t done anything more. Slight brushes of hands here, a peck on the lips there.
I’ll go at whatever speed she needs, but the craving I have for her has only increased. I’ve done more research on how to bring her pleasure, eager to make our next time even better for her.
Every morning, I wake up with an erection so hard it’s almost painful after being pressed against her soft body. I’m constantly buzzing with anticipation in her presence—what do we do next? Does she want more?
The way she’s looking at me right now across the dinner table makes me think she does, but I’m too scared to ask.
I worked an early shift today, getting home in time to make a nice dinner for us. Harper and Kinsley are home, too, so we’re having a rare family dinner.
Siren is lying on the floor by Harper’s feet, probably hoping someone will drop a piece of chicken .
Last week was Kinsley’s state science fair presentation, and she knocked it out of the park, just like I knew she would. Mack and I were there when she won her award, and Kinsley sought us out in the crowd. I think I even saw Mack’s eyes well with tears.
She got invited to the fair in San Antonio in May, and I overheard her talking to Harper about what an amazing opportunity it would be. Mack hasn’t brought it up, but I’m sure she’s stressed about how she’ll afford it.
I clear my throat, getting everyone’s attention. “All right, let’s talk about San Antonio. Kins, do you still want to go?”
Kinsley nods immediately.
“Good. Harper, Mack?”
Harper nods but looks a little nervous about it.
“I don’t know how we can afford it,” Mack admits softly.
“I didn’t ask if you can afford it, Firefly, I asked if you wanted to go.”
Mack’s cheeks turn pink as she nods, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Great. Kinsley, send me the details of the event, and I’ll get everything booked and squared away with flights and hotel. Elli and her fiancé will be here in a few weeks for Hannah and Morgan’s party, so we can talk to them about fun stuff to do while we’re there.”
Mack opens her mouth to say something, then quickly shuts it.
“And my cousin Emma, the one who lives in San Diego, will be here, too, so we can talk about going there for your birthday in July. ”
Kinsley’s mouth drops open. “Really? We can do both?”
I shrug. “Why not? You only turn sixteen once.”
“Tal, we can’t afford—” Mack starts, but I reach over and place my hand on hers.
“Mack, I promise we can. Let me do this for you. Please.” Mack bites her lip, drawing my attention to her mouth as she nods.
We talk about things the girls want to see and do while we’re in San Antonio and San Diego while we finish dinner, then the girls offer to do the dishes since I cooked.
I start to protest, but Mack gently shakes her head and motions for me to follow her downstairs.
“Goodnight, girls!” I call as I follow, and they both call out a simultaneous, “Goodnight!”
The minute we’re downstairs, Mack whirls on me. “What are we doing, Talmage? What are you doing? Planning trips and offering to pay for them? Are you nuts?”
I hold my hands up in surrender. “I—”
“I don’t know whether I want to kiss you and get on my knees to thank you for being so generous or smack you upside the head for spoiling us.”
Oh no, the image of Mack on her knees thanking me is making me hard. I don’t think I’d last even a second if I got inside her pretty mouth.
Focus.
“What’s wrong with spoiling you? I want to spoil you, Mack.
I already told you—I don’t have anything else to spend my money on.
I have so much saved, and I have a good salary.
Let me spend it on you.” I step forward and wrap my hands around her waist, and I see the fight leaving her just as quickly as it came.
I lean down and whisper in her ear, “Think about it: sandy beaches, a fruity drink in your hand, the ocean. Good food. Relaxing. No work to worry about.”
Mack makes a disgruntled sound. “Fine. That sounds nice. But what if your cousins hate me?”
I shake my head and barely hold back a laugh. My cousins will love her. “Elli and Emma are two of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Hannah, too. Oh, by the way, I kind of RSVP’d to their party for us, so I hope you’re okay with going.”
“They’re not going to judge me because I’m covered in tattoos and have piercings?”
I shake my head. “Elli’s fiancé has tattoos and piercings, and so does Emma. Hannah left the church and is super chill, so don’t worry.”
“Okay. Do I need to wear anything fancy? When is it?”
“Third week of April, but I’ll send you the invite. It’s cocktail attire, I think.”
She nods, then looks up at me through her lashes while biting her lip again.
On instinct, I bring my hand up to her face and pull her lip from between her teeth with my thumb.
Then, I lean down and gently press my lips against hers.
She leans further into me, fisting my shirt and deepening the kiss.
Her tongue sweeps into my mouth, and I groan, mirroring the action.
She pulls back, breathing heavily. “Sorry, I—”
I cut her off with another kiss, wrapping my arms tighter around her. “Don’t apologize. I’ve been dying to make out with you for years. Years, Mack. ”
“I feel like we’re blurring the lines. Setting ourselves up to be hurt when this ends.”
Her words are like a bucket of ice cold water washing over me. I release her and step back. I don’t understand. Was the other night just a release for her? Was it a spur of the moment, rash decision?
I could have sworn she was looking at me differently. Opening up to me more, starting to trust me, but maybe it’s just wishful thinking.
Her shoulders slump forward, and something that looks a lot like disappointment flashes across her face.
“You asked earlier what we’re doing, Mack. And I… I don’t know exactly, but I know I want you. I know I haven’t stopped thinking about the taste of you since the other night. Sleeping next to you makes me sleep deeper than I ever have in my life. I know being with you feels right. ”
I almost tell her I’m in love with her. Almost tell her if this ends, no matter what lines we cross or blur, I’ll be hurt—devastated. But I don’t know if she’s ready to hear it yet.
Mack opens her mouth to say something, but my phone rings and cuts her off.
I pull it out of my pocket, and my brows furrow when my mom’s contact flashes across the screen.
“I need to take this, Mack. I’m sorry,” I say as I make my way to the bedroom. “Hello?” I answer as anxiety swirls in my chest. Why would she be calling? She hasn’t reached out since the hospital.
“Hi, Talmage. How are you healing?” I’m taken aback by how… normal she sounds. Has she forgotten we haven’t spoken in almost a month ?
“I should be back to full duty in a week or two.”
“Good, good. I’m glad to hear it.” I hear her rustling around in the background, and then she sighs. “Look, I wanted to invite you… and Mackenzie and her sisters over for dinner on Sunday.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Mom, you haven’t apologized—”
“I know. I owe you—and her—an apology. I may not agree with the life choices you’ve made or who you’ve chosen to spend forever with, but…
” She sighs again, and I can picture her pinching the bridge of her nose.
“You’re my child, and I want to support you.
Your siblings miss you—your dad and I miss you.
We want to get to know your wife and her sisters. ”
I want to believe her—trust she’s not going to turn around and do the opposite of what she’s saying. She took the first step, after all.
“I’ll talk to Mack and the girls, but if she’s uncomfortable with the idea I’m not going to force her.”
“I understand. Let me know.”
“I will.” After a few more pleasantries, we hang up, and Mack knocks on the bedroom door. “You’re good to come in,” I say.
“Everything okay?” she asks, sitting next to me on the bed.
“My mom wants us and the twins to come over for dinner Sunday…”
“Why?” she hedges.
“She says she wants to apologize. She may not agree with my choices, but she wants to get to know you since we’re married…
” I trail off and look at her, wondering if the words affect her as much as they affect me.
If she wa nts this as much as I do. From what she said, it sounds like she doesn't, but something in me doesn’t fully believe her. Something in me wants to keep trying.
Her throat works on a swallow, and she nods once. “Okay. Um, we can go. Promise you won’t leave me alone with her?”
I intertwine our fingers. “I promise.”
There’s so much we need to talk about—so many things I need to say to her. I need to lay my feelings out for her and figure out if she wants the same things.
Keeping them in isn’t an option any longer.
I’ll need Lizzie’s help again.