40. Chapter 40
Talmage
J amie sighs for the tenth time in fifteen minutes, so I set my drawing tools down to give her my full attention. I wish she’d just ask me to talk instead of leaving me to guess when something is wrong.
“What’s up, James?” I grip her ankle lightly where it’s resting next to mine on the couch.
“Are we going to talk about the email you got?”
Email?
“What email? Wait, why were you looking at my email?” I don’t feel the need to hide anything from Jamie. I’d show her whatever she wants on my phone, but it feels strange for her to poke around my email without asking. I don’t think I like it.
Jamie rolls her eyes. “Your phone was on the counter when the email came in, and I saw it. Were you not going to tell me you applied for a job with the Springville FD?”
“I didn’t apply. They approached me with a job offer, but I don’t plan on moving back to Utah.”
“Maybe you should. ”
‘You.’ Not ‘we.’
“What are you talking about?” I thought things were good. Sure, Jamie’s been hesitant to set a wedding date, and she clams up whenever I ask, but… she agreed to marry me. She wouldn’t say yes if she didn’t want to get married.
Right?
Jamie stands from the couch, crossing her arms over chest and pacing the room. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“Do what?”
“I can’t marry you, Talmage.”
The words should feel like a sucker punch. I should be devastated and confused, but instead, I feel… a little numb. A little relieved even. Does that make me a bad person?
“Can I ask why?” I feel like it’s fair to know.
“For one, your job. I don’t like you putting yourself in danger. I can’t live my life knowing you could die at any minute.”
I don’t tell her everyone is at risk of death. It doesn’t matter what their job is.
Jamie continues, “For another, sometimes it feels like you’re not fully in this. Every time I try to take things past making out, you stop it. Are you not attracted to me?”
My eyebrows shoot up to my hairline. “I’m not risking our eternal marriage just to—to get off. I thought we were on the same page about that. I thought you wanted to get married in the temple.”
“I do. But I also want to feel like my fiancé is attracted to me!” Jamie lets her arms fall down to her sides, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
“I think we’re too different. I think you should take the job and move back to Utah.
I know you want to be closer to your family, and I can’t see myself leaving California. This is my home town. Not yours.”
“That’s it? It’s over? There’s nothing I can do to help ease your mind?”
She shakes her head. “We deserve happiness, Talmage. I don’t think we’ll find that in each other. Let me know if you need help moving out.”
I don’t know what to say, so I nod.
Jamie slips the engagement ring off her finger and hands it to me before gathering her stuff and walking towards the door. She stops and turns to me. “I hope you find the love you're looking for, Talmage. I’m sorry it can’t be me.” Then, she’s gone.
I sit on the couch and stare at the ring for a long while, willing myself to feel the heartbreak of my fiancée not wanting to be with me anymore, but I can’t find it.
All I feel is relief. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’ve been feeling apprehensive about marrying her, but I thought it was just nerves.
An image of green eyes filled with tears flashes through my mind, but I shake it away.
I shouldn’t be thinking about the girl I left behind when my fiancée just left me.
I grab my computer and reply to the email from the fire chief, telling him I’d love to schedule a time to talk about the position.
Maybe the love of my life is in Utah.
The twins are gone when we get back. Off at the movies with their friends, possibly making out with boys.
Oh boy. Nope. They’re too young to date.
They’re not my biological children, nor are they my biological sisters, and I may have only been in their life for a short time, but they’re my family, damn it. I’m going to have to beat stupid boys off with a stick if the whole Jeremy debacle is anything to go by.
Or maybe not, considering Kinsley’s thirst for revenge. She can probably handle herself and Harper.
I can tell the pain meds Mack took are wearing off, and the weight of the emotions from lunch is making her shoulders slump.
“Go take a bath, I’m going to feed Siren and let her out to play, then I’ll be down.” I kiss her forehead.
“Okay. Thank you.” She places the gentlest kiss on the underside of my jaw, and my dick stirs.
No. Mack’s not feeling well.
She heads downstairs, and I grab Siren’s food from the pantry and put it in her bowl.
The twins put her in her crate before they left, so I open the door, and she steps out, stretching her limbs like she’s been cooped up in there for days instead of just two hours.
I crouch down. “Hey, girl. You hungry?”
Her caramel tail wags at the mention of eating, and I chuckle.
“Come on.” She follows me to her food area, sitting like a good girl while I put the bowl down. Her tail twitches in anticipation while she waits for her command to eat. “Chow time,” I say, and she digs in .
I scroll through social media while she eats, hearing the faint sound of the water running while Mack fills up the tub.
Unbidden images of Mack’s naked body flash through my mind and make me hot. I love her body so much. The artwork, the hills and valleys of her lush skin, the softness of her belly, and the way it molds perfectly to mine.
I shake the thoughts away and try to think about literally anything else. I don’t know if it’s okay to have sex while a woman is on her period, but it doesn't seem like Mack would be up for it because she’s in so much pain, and I’m not going to force anything.
Siren finishes eating, and I let her out into the backyard to chase birds or bask in the late afternoon sun. There’s a dog on the other side of the fence she’s become friends with, so as soon as I open the door she bolts to the fence and starts sniffing to find her friend.
My parents' thoughts about getting another dog pops into my mind. Maybe I should talk to Mack about it. Siren would love to have a buddy.
Lunch went a lot better than I expected.
My parents were genuine in their apology and their desire to be in our lives, and the way they handled it made me feel…
proud. They could have had a different approach, like my cousins’ parents.
They could have berated us and tried to guilt us into coming back to church, but they didn’t.
I’m sure they’re still secretly hoping we’ll come back, but as long as they don’t try to force us into anything or push us, I think today was the start of something good .
When Siren seems settled in the backyard, I head inside and make my way downstairs. When I get into our room, the scent of lavender and vanilla seeps through the slightly cracked bathroom door.
“Mack, did you take any more pain meds?” I call out.
“No,” she answers.
I run back up the stairs to get her some water and the pills, then come back and push open the bathroom door.
Mack’s got her hair up in a claw clip, copper tendrils framing her bare face. Her skin is flushed from the hot water, and the tops of her breasts are visible over the thin layer of suds.
I have to swallow twice before I can speak. Fuck, my wife is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
And she chose me.
“I brought you more meds.”
“Thank you.” She takes the pills and swallows them with the water before handing the glass back to me.
I set it on the counter before sitting myself on the edge of the tub. We didn’t talk about what happened at lunch on the way home, and I want to know how she’s feeling.
“So, how do you feel about how lunch went?”
“I think it went well. I’m… I’m cautiously optimistic we can have a good relationship with your parents.”
“I feel the same way. Thank you, Firefly, for giving them a chance to apologize. It means a lot to me that you’re open to it.”
She gives me a small smile. “I’d do anything for you, Bear. ”
I lean forward and give her a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll let you enjoy your bath in peace. Do you need anything else?”
Mack shakes her head, sinking farther into the water.
About forty minutes later, I hear the shower turn on and assume Mack is done with her bath.
My mind wanders away from the book I’m reading, thinking about the last time we showered together.
My dick perks up at the memory of her soft skin sliding against mine.
The way it felt to hold her breasts in my hands.
I curse internally as she emerges from the bathroom in nothing but a towel, her skin flushed from the hot water.
She bites her plush bottom lip, her eyes roaming down my body until it comes to the tent in my sweats. I don’t want to assume where her mind is, and I don’t want to get my hopes up, but she’s looking at me with a hunger in her eyes.
“How are you feeling?” I rasp, sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed.
“Better, thank you.” She comes and stands between my legs, trailing a hand down my chest. I stop her just before she reaches my erection.
“You’re in pain, Firefly.”
“Orgasms are supposed to help with period cramps,” she whispers, letting the towel drop away from her body .
“Are they?” I murmur. My eyes are level with her breasts, and my dick twitches at being this close to my naked wife.
“Want to find out?”
I tear my gaze away from the barbells in her nipples and look up at her. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Mack wiggles her hand out of my grip and slides it inside my sweat pants.
The heat of her palm makes me shudder, and I release an involuntary moan.
“You won’t hurt me, Bear. I promise. I want you so bad.
” Her soft hand glides slowly up and down my length, her thumb gently swiping the sensitive spot just beneath the head.
I’m helpless to deny my wife anything. I’d give her the whole moon if she asked. I don’t know how I’d accomplish it, but I’d figure out a way to get it for her if it was what she wanted.
“You take the lead, Firefly. If it hurts, we stop.”
Mack nods in agreement. “Scoot back against the headboard.”
I strip off my clothes and follow her directions. Mack crawls onto the bed, straddling my lap and hovering above me before gripping the base of me and slowly lowering herself down.
“Shit, you’re so wet.” I have to squeeze my eyes shut and count to thirty to keep myself from coming. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the hot, wet grip of her. I’m never going to improve my stamina when she feels this damn good.
“You fill me so well, Tal,” Mack whines, circling her hips slowly on top of me. “Will you touch my clit, please? ”
“Yeah. Yeah, Firefly. Fuck. ” I don’t tease my wife. I can’t. Not when watching her come has become one of my favorite activities. I rub in firm circles, the way I know she likes as she undulates on my cock, taking her own pleasure.
She looks stunning like this, her lips parted, eyes fluttering closed as she bounces lightly.
“I’m right there, Tal, don’t stop,” Mack moans, her head falling back between her shoulders.
I lean forward and nip at her nipples before twisting my tongue around the jewelry. When I suck one into my mouth, she gasps and clenches around me. She’s close—thank goodness, I’m about to burst.
I switch nipples, scraping my teeth gently over the sensitive nub, and she comes, squeezing me so tight it sets off my own orgasm. As I paint the inside of her pussy, Mack collapses into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I feel her soft, satisfied smile pressed against my neck.
I press a kiss to the side of her head, then help her off of me before we clean up. We slip into pajamas and spend the rest of the night reading next to each other.
Things are perfect.