Chapter 12
I had done my best to avoid my phone and the stream of alerts coming through, knowing they had to be from Andrew, all day. I debated taking time off and going to my parents for a while. They would be happy to have me home, and maybe I could clear my mind.
I was in my kitchen trying to decide what I could make for dinner. I hadn't eaten all day, and my stomach was still unsettled... but I knew I had to eat something.
I was rummaging through my fridge when the knock came, making me jump.
I stood with my hand on my chest, my heart racing.
Another knock came, and then, "I know you are in there, open the door, Cassidy."
Andrew was here... fuck. I should have known he would show up after I ignored his texts for the day. But I couldn't think clearly with him around, when my thoughts and feelings were overwhelmed by him.
He continued pounding on the door. "You can't just ignore me, Cassidy. We talked about this. You are mine."
The tears started again, and I was so tired of crying over this man. It felt like that was all I had done all day.
I left the kitchen and climbed onto my couch, wrapping myself in one of my throw blankets.
He continued to pound on the door as the tears fell. "I am not going anywhere, Cassidy, open the fucking door."
I debated calling Chase or Dad. But I still didn't know how to tell them.
I was so ashamed of myself. So instead, I curled into a ball on the couch, listening to Andrew bang his fists against my door and for the first time hoping that he would leave instead of stay.
It had been four days of avoiding Andrew, and I hadn't left my apartment, afraid that I would run into him.
He had shown up every day, following the same routine.
Banging on my door, demanding to be let in.
I had the lock changed and made an excuse to the superintendent when I gave him the spare as to why it had to be changed.
I had called in sick to the bookstore, telling Abby I had a stomach bug.
But I needed to get back to my life, so I cleaned my apartment, put all of Andrew's things in a box, showered and put on an outfit that made me feel good and left my apartment for the bookstore.
On my break, I took a brief walk to the coffee shop and, finding my courage, I ignored all of Andrew's unread messages and sent one of my own.
Me: I have taken this time to think about everything, and I can't do this, Andrew. I can't be your dirty secret. I packed up your things. We can schedule a time for you to pick them up, and I will have them at my door for you. I am sorry to do this through text, but we can't be together.
I hit send, and not a minute later, his name was flashing across my screen, an incoming call. I sent him to voicemail and turned my phone off.
After finishing my shift at the bookstore, I did some grocery shopping, grabbing ingredients for my favourite foods, hoping it would help coax back my appetite.
It was dark when I entered my apartment, with my arms full of groceries. So I didn't notice anything until I put my bags down on the counter and moved to turn on the lights.
That's when he spoke. "I am done with these childish games, Cassidy."
I screamed and jumped back. It took my heart a minute to calm down and for me to register that Andrew was in my apartment waiting for me.
"Wha... what are you doing here? How did you get in?"
Andrew stood from the couch and made his way over to me, "Your superintendent let me in after I realized that you had your lock changed, Cassidy. Why would you do that?"
His usually warm, honey brown eyes were cold and dark now. "I... I want you to leave, Andrew. Grab your things and go." I looked to where his box of things should be and found it missing.
He was right in front of me then, "I unpacked my things, Cassidy, and I am not leaving. Did you actually think that you could just end us through a text and I would be ok with it?"
"I can't do this, Andrew, please..." It came out in a breathy plea.
He grabbed my chin and tilted my head so that I was looking up at him. "You can and you will. You are mine, and I love you."
He crashed his lips onto mine and kissed me with the type of raw intensity that usually left me weak in the knees.
I whimpered, my heart hurting, and he took it as encouragement.
He brought his hand down under my ass and lifted me onto the countertop, my back to my cupboards, and he blocked my movement, standing between my thighs.
He kissed my jaw and worked his way down my neck, pulling at my shirt to expose my collarbone and alternating between bites and kisses.
"God, Cassidy, you don't get to do this, pull this shit. I have been going out of my mind."
I tried to push him back and get space, but Andrew tightened his hold on my hips.
"Andrew... I can't..."
"I rented us a cabin up North for a few days. I love you, Cassidy. Don't push me away, baby, I need you."
"I can't be your mistress, Andrew, your dirty little secret hidden away. You are married."
He kept holding my hips, frantically kissing my face and neck, as if he stopped, I would disappear.
"You are not any of those things. You are my everything, you are mine!
MINE! Please, baby, I need you. I will talk to my lawyer and get this all taken care of.
Just be patient, please, baby. Don't ruin this, us. "
My heart was beating so fast, I dropped my forehead to his chest, trying to breathe through all the emotions hitting me at once.
He was saying everything I wanted to hear.
Could it be that simple? We loved each other, and he would get a divorce.
.. He had never loved her; they weren't intimate, it was more like a business arrangement. .. right?
Andrew pulled my face back up to his again, kissing me with a need that sent butterflies through my belly. He ground his erection into me and growled into my lips.
"Let me show you how much I love you, Cassidy."
The look he had took my breath away, and my heart stuttered.
I whispered, "Ok..."
The words were barely out of my mouth, and Andrew had me in his arms, and he was moving us towards my bedroom.
My clothes were off so fast, and then we were on my bed, he was on me in me... he was everywhere. Is scent soothed something in me, and I gave in to the moment. To our love.
"Fuck you are so tight, baby, nothing feels like this... like us."
It wasn't soft or sweet; it was intense and carnal.
He was alternating between rough, hard strokes and grinding into me, hitting my clit in the way he knew set me off.
"I missed you, baby, don't you dare try to end us again... you hear me..." grunt, "MINE." thrust, "Fucking Mine!" grind, "Cum on my cock, baby, so I can fill you up."
His dirty words did me in. He leaned in and bit one of my nipples, setting off my orgasm, and then he started to slam into me harder and harder until he was cuming on a roar.
He dropped his weight on me then, his breathing ragged, matching my own.
He was still inside of me, still hard.
Our hearts were racing in unison.
He was here with me. We would go away together, and he would get a divorce. He was here and saying all the right things.
I sighed, a feeling of contentment settling over me after so much pain over the last week.
We lay there just like that, me playing with his hair while he nuzzled into my neck.
Andrew started to move in me again, his pace slow now, his kisses soft and loving.
He pushed up on his forearms, his eyes locked onto mine. "Say you love me, Cassidy, tell me you are mine."
He peppered my face with kisses, overwhelming my senses.
"I love you," I whispered.
"Say you are mine." He growled.
A tear fell as I said, "I am yours."
Andrew licked the tear off my cheek and continued to make love to me.
We stayed in bed until I remembered I had groceries on my counter, and we lazily cooked together.
We went away as he planned.
For a while, I forgot my fears, the reason I tried to walk away.
But as time passed and nothing changed, the flutter of my heart turned into a painful ache.
The love I had for him, which had once felt special and beautiful, felt like chains.
As summer bled into fall, my hope and dreams dimmed, and his love felt like a cage.
I just wish I could have seen it all with the clarity I have now.
I wish he had never stayed.