Chapter 13
We were all standing there staring at each other, and the tears were still rolling down my face. Brody and his parents, Judy and Dean, were just a few feet away, and if I could have crawled under a rock and disappeared, I would have.
No one was saying anything, and all I wanted to do was run away, so I croaked out, "You stay, I am going to go. I need to go."
I went to walk back towards the house, but Chase grabbed my arm and turned me to him, "Cassidy, what the hell is going on? Clara isn't right, is she?"
There was no way I was escaping this. Looking up at my big brother, I whispered, "I didn't know."
"You didn't know what, Cassidy?" My mother asked.
"I didn't know he was married when we met... when he... I didn't know. And today... when I saw his boy.... I didn't know." A choked sound escaped me, and I could barely take in enough air.
Chase pulled me into him and started to rub soothing circles on my back.
"We are going to sit and you are going to tell us everything, but I think we need something stronger than wine." My dad said.
Brody spoke for the first time then, "I brought whiskey."
I pulled myself away from Chase, tucked myself up on an Adirondack chair, and closed my eyes, letting my head rest on the back of the chair, while my family and the Palmers exchanged awkward hellos.
I felt a hand brush against mine, and I opened my eyes to find Brody standing directly in front of me.
My brother's best friend growing up, the boy whom I would follow anywhere at a time and the man who was six years older than me and probably never knew I had a giant crush on him growing up.
I thought he hung the moon, and he and his brother Adam always joked that I was like the baby sister they never asked for but couldn't get rid of.
He looked good. It had been years since I had seen him, since he left for school and then moved to Victoria for his girlfriend's job.
His hair was a mess of light brown waves that I knew looked almost blonde in the height of summer; his hazel eyes had a few new laugh lines around them now; he had a neatly trimmed beard and was wearing his signature lumberjack flannel.
The Cassidy who wasn't having a breakdown probably would have been concerned with how she looked right now in front of her childhood crush.
But I was having a bit of a breakdown, and Brody had just heard that I was a homewrecker. .. so here we were.
His eyes moved over my features like he was cataloguing the differences in me as well, then he gave me a soft smile and held out a rocks glass. "I thought you could probably use a drink."
I wiped the tears away from my face and, with a shaky hand, reached for the rocks glass.
"We can go, Cass..." Brody started.
My mom cut him off, "Oh, shush, Brody, you are family."
Brody smiled softly in response and then took the seat next to mine.
Mom came and sat on the arm of my chair, grabbing my free hand. "Ok, Cassidy, tell us about Andrew."
Staring at my drink, I took a deep breath and did just that. I told them about how we met, how he pursued me, and how I didn't even know his name for almost a month.
How I didn't know he was married for six months, how I stupidly thought he was cheating on me.
How I tried to leave him several times, and he kept coming back.
What he had told me about his wife. That I didn't know they had a child until I saw their son today at the arena.
I told them about Victoria cornering me in the arena bathroom and the threats she made.
I told them everything, how I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror anymore.
The shame, pain, and guilt were so heavy that it felt like a crushing weight on my chest.
When I was done, everyone was silent, and I was terrified about what I would see on their faces when I looked up. Would my family be angry or disgusted with me?
I took my first sip of the whiskey in my hand and looked up. My mom had tears running down her face, my dad looked murderous, Chase was pacing, and Clara looked like she was going to be sick. "I am so sorry." I choked out.
My dad's face softened. "What in the world are you sorry for?"
"For what I did, what I became, for the shame... You must be so ashamed of me..."
Mom squeezed my hand, cutting me off, "No, Cassidy, no... we are not ashamed of you."
"A man sixteen years your senior who is married took advantage of you, Cassidy," my dad added.
"He's a fucking predator," Chase growled.
"And who does that woman think she is threatening you like that?" Judy added.
"Her family has always acted like they are royalty." Mom chimed in.
All the fear that I had about telling my family was starting to settle. "You aren't mad at me?"
Clara finally spoke, "Is that why you didn't tell us... You were worried about how we would look at you after?" A tear slid down her cheek.
"I wanted to tell you, so many times... I almost called you... But I couldn't bear thinking about how you would look at me after. You and Mom are perfect, and I... I..."
The tears were falling again. The pain on Clara's face, I am sure, matched mine.
Mom wiped away my tears from my face, "We are not perfect, Cassidy, no one is. And I could never look at you differently."
Clara was in front of me, tears streaming down her face. "Cass... I could never... You're my little sister. My best friend. I will always be here for you."
She dove into my arms, and Mom wrapped us both in a hug, a pile of us in my chair hugging and crying together, until my dad said, "You have some fucking nerve showing up here."
And I heard his voice, "I didn't know she was your daughter, Robert."
I flinched, and my mom stood to face Andrew.
"How does that make it any better, Andrew? Did you target her because you didn't know she had a family that would stand up for her?" The ice in my mom's voice was something I had never heard from her before.
Andrew didn't respond to my mom; instead, he looked back at my dad, "I just want to talk to Cassidy, Robert. I am not here to cause any problems."
Dad stood up, "It is Doctor Morgan to you, and I don't care what you want. You have already caused problems for my daughter, and you need to leave."
Chase was up and standing beside our father. They were not violent men, but the energy radiating off them made me uneasy. I didn't want to cause any more problems for my family. Clara stood, and I followed her.
Stepping out of the comfort of my family, I faced Andrew. "You need to go, Andrew. We are done. There is nothing left to say."
"Fuck that Cassidy." I flinched at his tone, and my dad, Chase and Dean all took a step towards Andrew, creating a clear line of protection.
Andrew eyed them warily but then looked back at me, "I don't know what Victoria said to you, Cassidy. But don't overreact again, we are not over, and you need to come with me so we can talk."
I shook my head and stepped closer, letting him see my pain. See the truth of my words. "I can't keep doing this, Andrew. It should have ended a long time ago; it should have never begun."
"You don't mean that, Cassidy." He took another step closer, and I held my hand out for him to stop.
"I do, Andrew. I hate what I have become with you. This isn't love, I don't know what it is... but I know love shouldn't hurt like this."
"Cassidy, stop this. Come with me so we can talk in private."
I shook my head, "No, Andrew. I was done before today.
But seeing you at the arena with your wife, while you were sending me messages that it was finally over.
You have a son..." My voice cracked, and I could feel my tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Your fucking wife threatened me and my family, Andrew.
She told me I wasn't the first and wouldn't be the last in your long line of trashy hookups. "
Andrew took another step towards me, and I could feel my family move in closer around me.
He sighed, rubbing his hand down his face. "Cassidy, I have been married to a woman I don't love for almost twenty years. Of course, I have had other lovers. But never anything like what I found with you. I have never lied to you about how I feel, and there has not been anyone else since you."
"Are you hearing yourself? Our whole relationship was the fucking lie.
I am the someone else. Oh my god, Andrew.
.. you have a son. A boy. You told me you didn't have any children with her and that you couldn't wait to have a family with me.
.." A horrible realization ran through my mind, "Oh.
... Andrew... you kept pressuring me to stop my birth control.
.. telling me... no. You have a child with her. "
I felt bile rise fast, and I ran to the garbage can and heaved.
Someone stood beside me holding my hair. I thought it was Chase or maybe Dad until I heard Andrew. "Who the fuck are you? Get your hands off of her."
And then I realized it was Brody who was holding my hair when he answered, "I am your worst nightmare if you don't leave right now."
My mom came up beside me, "Are you ok, Cassidy?"
"You need to leave, Andrew," Clara said as she came up beside me as well.
Andrew looked at me again, "I will leave, but this isn't over, Cassidy. We are not over."
Chase moved between us and got in Andrew's face, "Stay away from my sister, or I will make sure she gets a restraining order against you."
Andrew gave me a look over Chase's shoulder that I knew all too well.
This wasn't over.