11. Patience #2
“He said he heard your sisters talking about how… you killed your mother.”
Turk almost drops the glass container onto the island but recovers just as quickly as I blink. His locs shield his face for a moment before he lifts his head. That signature smirk of his is front and center, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“I ain’t catch my first body until I was sixteen, so she’s about nine years early on that, love.” He winks at me, and turns on the stove to heat up our leftovers.
“Why would she–”
“If I knew what drove women to do the shit they did I would be a billionaire instead of just a millionaire, Paypay.” He sets the chicken on the oven then turns to lean on the opposite side of the island.
“I’d know why Autumn keeps everyone that loves her at arms distance.
I’d know why you act like you hate me when it’s really the opposite. ”
“Hey–”
“Just sayin,’ baby mama number two. I’ll talk to him, though.”
I sigh. “I did, too. I mean, I know they’re evil witches but what a fucked up thing to say around Deuce.”
The oven beeps and Royce places the container inside. “Don’t waste time worrying about shit that doesn’t matter. Are you coming with us to Geyser City for Deuce’s birthday? Oh yeah, that’s right. You hiding from them East Kenton niggas.”
My hands curl into fists on the countertop. Spirits, it would be so easy to just lay it all down in front of him, to rid my conscience of all the lies building on my shoulders. But that second of peace isn’t worth the danger I’d be putting everyone in.
Especially the stubborn mule right in front of me.
He places his hand on my fist. “Just give me something, Pay. One thing.”
I don’t take my eyes off his hand, even when he squeezes mine for my attention.
“One thing?”
He squeezes it again. “Just one, baby.”
One thing couldn’t hurt, right? A breadcrumb. Something to keep him occupied. Something to satisfy him until I can really formulate a plan.
Fuck it.
“I grew up with them… in East Kenton. That’s how I know the Get Money crew.”
When I finally gather the courage to look at Royce, I see the questions brewing in his mind.
Thankfully, Deuce yelling for him saves me.
Royce drops the subject entirely over dinner, opting to engage Deucey in stories from his first grade class.
Tales of classmates eating paste, arguing over who’s it, and who is a teacher’s pet fill the room for the next hour.
Royce and Deuce clean the dishes, and I excuse myself so they can have their father-son time.
On the way out, Royce winks at me, like it’s something he’s done since I’ve known him.
Like it’s something he’ll do for the rest of our lives.
I don’t know when I stopped hating Royce.
Everything he stood for I wanted no part of, for years.
Over a decade. It would be easy to blame Autumn like I’ve been doing.
Just like it would be easy to let go of all my inhibitions and surrender to the feelings that had been building since Autumn’s birthday.
But for some reason, I’m stuck smack dab in the middle, not trusting myself to do anything.
Stagnancy has never been my strong suit. Something has to give…
Saturday nights have always been for the family.
Before we were to go do whatever we were to do, we had to have dinner Saturday evening, together.
My mother started it before I was born, and my father continued it in her memory.
Everyone would be there now, breaking bread, talking First Nations business.
Laughing about the different ways they blacken their souls in the name of power.
Apache Beverly is nothing if not a creature of habit.
That’s why I know, even though we’re in the twenty-first century, he still has a landline.
I block my caller ID and dial the first number I ever memorized. Echoes of promises that someone will always answer this number sound off before the line clicks over.
“Beverly residence.”
I don’t recognize the pleasant female voice on the other end of the line. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed that it’s been that long, or relieved I won’t have to disguise my voice.
“Yes. May I speak with Cochise? It’s urgent.”
“Who’s speaking?”
“Patience.”
The phone goes silent, giving me time to get myself together. This is risky as hell. I could have been found out by now. And if I wasn’t, this line is recorded. So if Cochise so chooses he could expose me.
There’s some static on the phone before my brother’s deep voice comes through.
“Patience?”
My new name sounds so weird coming from him. I choke down the feelings and clear my throat.
“I didn’t have your cell–”
“It’s the same number it’s always been. Call me now.” And with that he hangs up on me.
I scroll through my contacts to his number. Years of transferring contacts to different phones has kept it in my address book, I’m guessing for this moment. I click his contact and lift my phone back up to my ear.
“I was wondering if you’d reach out or if I’d have to kidnap your bitch. Or are you fucking the dreadhead nigga?”
“Hey–”
“No,” Cochise thunders like he’s the older sibling. “You’ve been gone for sixteen years, five months, and eight days. No note, not shit. I’m told to basically forget I even have a sister. And then you pop up on the other side like it’s nothing?!”
I knew they wouldn’t tell Cochise anything.
He’d always been regarded as too soft, especially to lead.
It’s why he was forced to get jumped into the gang, why they had to take him under their wings.
Unlike the rest of the First Nations Council, my baby brother had a heart, a conscience, and if he knew just how they all operated, he would have ran away with me.
“Cochise, please–”
“Nah. Tell me why I shouldn’t walk back in there and tell that nigga where you at? I know you not coming down with Wynter’s people this week.”
“Because you know you the only nigga there that has the sense to not shoot first and ask questions later. Look… I can explain. Just please… keep this to yourself. There’s a reason you haven’t said anything yet, Cheese… it’s me.”
“Nah, I don’t know a Patience Fox. And the only reason I haven’t brought you up to Dad is ‘cause I been looking into all the shit you been up to for the last decade and a half. I’m not the same impulsive muthafucka you abandoned.”
“No, you’re not.” My voice breaks as tears gather in my eyes. “You’re all grown up, Cheese… Just give me a chance to explain. I’ll tell you everything, and then we can go to Dad together. Just… please.”
I wipe the snot dripping out my nose with the back of my hand as I wait for his reply.
He has no reason to take heed to my pleas.
In the eyes of the Council I’ve turned my back on my family, my heritage, and my title as a First Nation Princess.
He’s well within his rights to drag me back, and Royce–and Autumn–would be as good as dead.
“I’ll be back in Kenton on Friday. You got until Saturday before supper to hit me up to meet, Fox, or I’m telling Dad everything.”
“We can meet Saturday morning… just make sure you’re alone. Alone, alone, Cheese–”
“Relax. I ain’t tell that nigga shit. Just make sure you stay out the way… and bring me a sonogram of my niece or nephew.” With that, he ends the call.
I lock my phone and rush to the bathroom to throw some cold water on my face. It’s pure luck Royce has been tucking Deucey in bed, or I’d have more to answer to. I take a quick shower, get through my nighttime routine and I’m under the covers by the time he comes upstairs.
I think he’s going to leave me alone, but somehow I miss hearing his footsteps until the lamp on the nightstand turns on and he’s in front of me, still dressed.
“You good, Pay?”
I nod, even though his tone has me tearing up again. I’m so glad this will be my only pregnancy.
“Aight. Goodnight.”
Royce rubs his eyebrow like he’s irritated, but he just shakes his head, turns off the light, and leaves.
“If anyone’s listening… please show me the way,” I whisper, hoping my mother or the spirits she always talked about heard me.