13. Autumn
Autumn
That twin shit is real. Even when you not fucking with them.
Why else am I rising like a vampire before the sun is up. There’s a disturbance in the twin realm, and I inwardly groan. Usually, it’s just an eye twitch. But since I’ve been in close proximity with my womb mate for a little while, it’s more like a knock on my chest.
“You good?” Turk groans from next to me. Sleep’s heavy in his voice, so I'm sure he hasn’t even opened his eyes.
“Yeah. Go back to sleep.” When I glance next to me, sure enough, his eyes are closed and Deuce’s hand is resting on his neck.
They got in last night and after an intense monopoly game where me and Deuce beat the brakes off Turk, we all passed out in the bed together.
I wish Patience was here.
I shake my head and stumble out of bed. Wynter and Cochise live in the big house, and who knows who else is there, so I put on some sweatpants and a hoodie with my crocs before leaving the guesthouse I took over.
The house is spotless since I spent all yesterday cleaning the property myself. One less thing for my mother to gripe over, though nothing will stop Amani Shaw from complaining about anything related to the daughter she didn’t want.
I make my way up the stairs, following the sound of my sister puking her guts out. There’s no sign of Cochise, but that doesn’t surprise me; they’d all made themselves scarce lately, either in the studio or doing whatever East Kenton niggas do.
When I get to the master ensuite, Wynter looks a fucking mess. Her blonde wig is streaked with vomit, her dress hanging off her shoulders.
“What the fuck, Wyn?” I crouch next to her and gather her hair behind her head. “You know Mommy and Dad will be here in like… five hours?”
“Auty, I say this with with all due disrespect; fuck Mom and Dad.” She heaves one more time before spitting into the toilet and flushing.
I help her up, and she starts washing out her mouth. “Damn, I thought you’d be happy to see them. I know they can’t wait to see their favorite.”
Wyn swishes the water around her mouth before spitting it out and gathering her hair in the sink. “Now you and I both know their favorite child is dead.” She meets my eyes in the mirror, and the small smile she’s trying and failing to hide makes me chuckle.
The ghost of our sister is suffocating at best, unbearable at the worst. That’s been one of the only things Wyn and I have been united on.
“When did you start back drinking, Wyn? And don’t think I can’t see your pupils are dilated.”
Wynter groans all dramatic like before wringing out her hair. “Maybe I need to be drunk and high to get through the shitstorm that is Amani and Aaron Shaw. Who’s idea was it for them to come down here?”
She shoulders by me back into the bedroom and I follow her. “Well, your nephew turns seven today. They wanted to spend it with him, so I thought–”
“Auty.” Wynter grabs whatever clothes she wanted before twirling to face me. “When will you stop trying to make them love you? Using your son is kinda low, don’t you think?” She smirks before moving past me back into the bathroom, and I follow her back in, sitting on a dry part of the counter.
Drunk and high Wyn is more like how she was coming up. Now that I’ve experienced sober Wyn, I’m starting to think she’s always dabbled.
She turns on the shower and strips before getting in.
“I’m not using Deuce. They love him, more than they loved me. And he loves them, too,” I say.
“Auty, he’s seven. He loves bugs and jumping off the stairs, too. Let’s not act like Deuce knows what’s good for him.”
I hold in my eye roll but she keeps going, using up those few minutes she’s older than me by.
“I thought you would have cut them off years ago, Auty. Especially after they told you not to press charges–”
“You haven’t cut them off!” I shriek. “I know you still talk to Mommy every Sunday, Wynter Snow.”
She turns the shower off and climbs out.
“Mom and Dad have been blocked since before I went to rehab, sis. Why do you think they’re coming here?
Newsflash, they don’t love Deucey that much to roadtrip at the asscrack of dawn.
Cut them the fuck off, Auty. Get some therapy.
And maybe you’ll be able to let Turk be your actual man.
” She dries herself off and pats my knee on the way to grab her clothes.
“Wait. When did you go to rehab?”
She freezes, and rolls her eyes. “You’re hopeless, Autumn Night. Did you hear anything else I said?”
I wave her off. “Me and Turk are fine.”
She smirks. “Yeah, I forget. You, him, and Pay got that whole throuple thing going on. I bet he’s the father of her baby, huh?”
I hop off the counter and grab her hand. “Come on, let’s get you into bed. Where’s your bonnet?”
She cackles loudly as I lead her onto her bed. “And I thought my relationship was fucked.”
“Hold on. What’s up with you and Cochise?”
Wyn waves me off, snatching her bonnet from the bed to put it on haphazardly before sliding into the covers.
“You know he’s First Nations. They only marry their own, and I think his dad is pressuring him to take a wife so he can take over.
He tells me he’s not going for it, but who knows?
” She shrugs and pats the side of the bed next to her.
“Come nap with me. These are clean sheets, and I know you’ll be up in a couple hours to obsess more about our parents. ”
I get in next to her grumbling, even though she’s right.
I’m wired, and even more surprised when Wyn rearranges us so that she’s spooning me.
She’s always been sweeter to me when no one was looking, in an aggressive way, and unfortunately her behavior, plus our parents coming, is giving me triggering flashbacks.
“Seriously, Auty. Fuck them. Stop trying to prove yourself to them. You’re perfect. Wayyyy better than me… got the DNA to prove it.”
I let her snores guide me into a fitful sleep, her words haunting me well into dreamland.
I was born to do this. To save my sister’s life. But why do I have to do it? It’s not fair. I don’t get to go to school like Wynnie does. I have to stay home. And eat only veggies. And get poked with needles.
I don’t even get to see Summy anymore. I just stay home alone. All day, every day.
Mommy and Daddy promised I could leave after my surgery, bu I’m scared to be cut open. I was supposed to have it on my eighth birthday, but I started crying, and the doctor didn't make me.
“You sure about this, Auty?” Wynter asks me. She’s sitting in front of me on our rug since we were playing Mirror before.
We’re twins. We have different birthdays, because we were born so late at night. And we don’t look alike, but we’re still twins.
She’s older than me and always acts like it.
I nod and she mimics me, since we’re still playing. It’s a game we like to play, where we mimic each other like we’re looking in the mirror. She’s much better at it than I am.
“You think it’s gonna hurt?” she whispers, pulling on a pigtail. She and Summy both have red hair and freckles, like my Annie doll. Mommy always does her hair pretty.
“Yeah. But I gotta do it. For Summy. Right?”
She places her hand on my knee so I do the same, too late, so I lose. But she just squeezes it and says, “No. Summy says you don’t have to if you don’t want to, and I say the same thing. And we’re your big sisters, so you gotta listen to us.”
“How is she?”
Wynnie looks away like she always does before she lies. “She’s good.”
The door bursts open and scares both of us. Mommy’s crying and screaming and grabbing at me. She’s calling me mean names, and asking me why I wouldn’t just do it.
I don’t like it when she’s like this. I yell and tell her I’ll do it. I’m not scared anymore. I mean, I am, but I’m more scared of her right now.
“It’s too late, Autumn. She’s dead because of you! My baby’s dead!”
Daddy comes in and rips Mommy’s hands off me. My arms burn as I cling onto Wynnie, who’s scooted us back toward our beds. Daddy drags Mommy out of our room, and closes and locks us inside.
“It’s okay, Auty. It’s okay.”
I knew I shouldn’t have gone back to sleep after Wyn’s drunken tirade about our mother.
Now we’re both sleep deprived, sitting on the stool, nursing coffee while Turk and Deuce make breakfast for us.
Deuce is having a blast. His love of cooking is from Turk, so any time they cook together he’s over the moon, talking a mile a minute while still concentrating.
Our parents decided to just meet us at the zoo instead of coming here.
Wyn and I tune the boys out.
“I love your hair like this, Auty. So glad you retired those wigs.” Wyn reaches toward my twist-out and I move out her way.
“Those wigs are why my hair grew so long, bitch.” I shake my hair, making Turk chuckle and wink at me.
“Long or short, your hair is beautiful and thick. Okay 4c queen!” She snaps her fingers and takes another sip of coffee, which I’m starting to think is spiked.
Turk puts our plates in front of us and we dig in. Well, they do. My stomach is still turning from that fucking nightmare that doubles as a childhood memory.
I’m practically in knots when we pull up to the Geyser City Zoo. Turk turns off the engine but locks the doors.
“Aight, you two–”
“Hey!”
“My bad, son.”
Deuce grins and nods for Turk to continue.
“Like I was saying; you three need to be on y’all’s best behavior. Wynter Snow: no fucking drinking, bro.”
Her ass raises her hand from the backseat. “What if the only way I can get through Auty’s ass-kissing, Amani’s creepy obsessing, and Aaron’s indifference is being sloshed?”
Turk just shakes his head. “Set told me–”
“Fine. No drinking.”
“Good. Autumn Night: this is Deuce’s day. His feelings are the only feelings that matter. Deuce. Don’t you think your mama is perfect?”
My baby grins and nods. “Mama’s the best mama in the multiverse!”
“Thank you baby.” When I swing my grin toward Turk, he winks.