Chapter 35 Melanie
MELANIE
By the time Monday rolls around, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that after the concert, Josh and I may just go our separate ways.
He sent me the finished song for Cara yesterday and with nothing else to do once my dad left, I worked on it all day.
I asked him what he wanted the set list to be and the only thing he replied was a photo of the song list in his scribbled handwriting.
A total of seven songs. Once I got Cara’s song down, I worked through the others, rehearsing the harmonies I’d written until my voice was scratchy and my fingers bled.
I thought about calling out of work today and letting myself be consumed by the weight of it all, but as I’ve learned many times throughout these forty-two years, falling apart does nothing to help anyone.
Instead, I take a shower, blow dry my hair and carefully apply my makeup—my armor for the day.
There will be time to fall apart later, but before work or at work is not the time.
Besides, I’m used to life alone. I’ve been alone way more than not, and I know that this sadness, this heaviness, will pass.
But then, there is a small, optimistic part of me that thinks, maybe Josh will come around.
That he might realize what we have. After all, I’ve had twenty-five years to heal from the loss of our baby.
He’s had two days. I have to give him time.
I don’t text him, no matter how much I want to beg that he talk to me.
No matter how much waking up in my empty bed hurts.
He’s only been gone for two nights, and I can’t believe I ever lived without him.
But the ball is in his court. I can’t make him forgive me, so I steel myself for a future without him.
I walk to work, despite the heat, smiling politely at people as I pass by. Other store owners are opening up, writing on chalkboard signs, and cleaning windows. They wave at me, big smiles on their faces, completely unaware of the turmoil swirling inside me.
“Hey, Melanie!” Joyce, the coffee shop owner, calls to me. “I can’t wait to see you sing this weekend!”
My chest tightens, and I have to swallow the lump that rises in my throat. I wave back, forcing cheerfulness into my voice. “Thanks, Joyce,” I say, picking up my pace before she can carry the conversation any further.
When I walk through the door, the restaurant is quiet. We don’t open for another twenty minutes. Andrew is at the host stand, assigning server stations.
“Morning,” I say, hoping to breeze past.
“How’s our favorite singing bartender?” Andrew teases, looking up from the board.
I shoot him a stare that I hope lets him know I don’t love the hallmark.
He meets my eyes then, raising a brow at me. “You all right?”
I sigh, “I’m fine.”
“You look…well, you don’t look great.” Andrew treads carefully.
“Josh moved out,” I admit, catching the tremble in my voice. “If you don’t mind, I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh shit. I’m sorry, Mel.” Andrew’s mouth pulls in with a frown, sympathy in his eyes but no surprise, like this was something he half-expected. I try not to take that personally. “You know how these musicians are.”
“No,” I interrupt. “It’s not the musician.
It’s me. And that’s all I can say right now because I’m really, really trying to keep it together today.
” It’s the most candid I’ve ever been with Andrew, but the guy is used to my stolid demeanor—and if I don’t let him know how I’m feeling, he’ll go on and on about how it wasn’t meant to be.
“Okay,” he says, holding up his hands. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” I peer over the host stand at the white board he was writing on moments ago. “Who is on the day shift?”
“Lexi, Kaylee, Jordan, and Finn. Wes behind the bar.” Andrew crosses off a section of tables in the back where we usually set up the open mic night stage. “I have no one to cover here so I’m just going to close the section until dinner.”
“Sounds good.” I worry at my lip, looking around the restaurant, praying for a busy shift. The busier the better because when it’s slow, all I do is worry about Josh and everything that went wrong.
“Mel?” Andrew nudges me. I get the impression it’s not the first time he’s said my name.
“Hmm? Sorry.” I shake my head.
“The concert is still on, right?” Andrew frowns.
“Yes.” I sigh. “The concert is still on.”
“For what it’s worth, I think the town will love it,” Andrew says, squeezing my shoulder.
“Hope so.”
* * *
The lunch crowd comes and just as I’d hoped, it’s super busy.
Around two o’clock, I get a text from Sophie that she’s on her way down for that cup of coffee we talked about.
I almost want to bail and tell her I’m too busy to get away.
But I’m due for my break and Sophie has never been anything but an amazing friend to me.
I poke my head into the office and Andrew looks up.
“I’m going to take my break and grab a coffee. Do you want anything?”
“Why don’t you call it a day?” Andrew offers, ignoring my question. “Marcus is coming in an hour anyway.”
Marcus is a new guy that Andrew hired to co-manage with us.
We’ve both felt as if we can’t get our heads above water this summer and there needs to be a manager on every shift.
I didn’t even have to try to convince Andrew when I brought it up.
He was all for it. So now there will be someone else picking up the slack around here.
I haven’t met him yet, but it doesn’t matter.
Andrew is offering me a chance to leave early when my world is crumbling around me. I’m taking it.
“You sure?”
“Definitely. Go do some self-care spa or whatever it is you women do.” He waves me off.
I grin, raising my eyebrows. “Self-care spa?”
“You know, Lauren is always going on and on about how important her self-care is.” He shrugs. “Just get out of here, will you?”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.”
* * *
I burst through the front door and find Sophie waiting for me on a bench under a tree. Her eyes light up when she sees me and she meets me halfway, immediately wrapping me in a hug.
“Mel,” she murmurs, squeezing me tight. “Are you all right?” she asks, pulling back to get a look at me.
“Not really,” I confess, my voice cracking. “But I will be.”
“Have you talked to him?” Sophie starts walking toward Coffee Tyme and I fall in step beside her.
I shake my head. “He’s only sent over the finished song for Cara and told me to learn it. That’s it.”
“Wow.” Sophie looks perplexed. “It’s just, Liam said he was really upset. I can’t believe he wouldn’t want to talk it through with you.”
“Me neither. Everything fell into place with us. I mean, it was like magic. Things just clicked. It sounds totally cliché but it’s true.
I’ve never felt anything like it. I can’t believe he’d just walk away from it.
” We reach the coffee shop and peer at the line for a moment before falling into the back of it.
This place has a line outside the door, no matter the time.
“Maybe he’s not. Maybe he’s just…sad?” Sophie suggests gently.
“Then talk to me about it, you know? I’m sad too.”
“He told Liam he was planning a life with you. I don’t think he’ll just walk away from that.”
My heart pulls tight. Planning a life with me? News to me. “That’s interesting. We hadn’t talked about anything beyond the concert.”
“Really?” Sophie frowns. “Maybe he wanted to and then he found the letter.”
“Maybe.”
The line picks up a bit and before we know it, we’re at the door to the shop. It’s sweltering and I’m sweating through my jeans and black polo shirt.
“Days like this, I wish I had a giant pool to jump into,” I moan.
Sophie giggles. “You do. It’s called the Atlantic Ocean.”
That sparks an idea.
“Andrew told me to go home. The new manager is coming in and he doesn’t need me. Want to go to the beach for a little bit?” I’m going out on a limb. Sophie has two little girls she probably has to get home to, but I ask her anyway. I haven’t been to the beach for a swim in ages.
“You know what? Liam’s got the girls. Why not?”