Chapter 21
Chapter twenty-one
Miranda
NOW
Leo’s fork dropped onto his plate with the strength of a thousand hammers.
“W-What?”
Steeling my shoulders, I stared him down. “Are you interested in me as more than a friend?” I asked matter-of-factly.
“Miranda, I—”
“Answer carefully,” I interrupted, wanting him to understand that I would only accept the truth. “Because I'm pretty sure I know. But I need to hear you to say it.”
My mind was a hurricane of confused thoughts. I’d been too quick to dismiss things. Too quick to give him an out.
I thought back to July, to the night of the wedding, and also to the end of the summer in his apartment.
And now the massage. I’d convinced myself that Leo consistently getting erections around me over the past six months—even though that never happened during the entire first year we knew each other, no matter how many times we shared a bed—was totally reasonable. Now I saw. Something had changed.
He opened his mouth a few times, but no sound came out.
I pressed him. “Are you going to deny it?”
A long, loud sigh escaped his throat. “No. I won’t lie to you. I just—”
Pounding footsteps on the porch interrupted him. The front door swung open aggressively, rattling on its hinges.
James trudged in, panting with exertion, dragging an enormous Douglas fir behind him. The scent of pine overwhelmed the room immediately.
“What the—?” I burst out, rushing to hold the door open for him as he dropped the tree in the doorway, resting his hands on his knees. “I thought you were having a date night?”
“They opened the tree lot for special deals since there was a PTA meeting, so we figured we’d get the best pick.
” James huffed a laugh. “And by best pick, I mean the heaviest freaking tree in the lot. As far as date night goes, I’m sure you’re aware that buying a Christmas tree is your sister’s idea of the perfect romantic outing.
We’re still planning to head over to The Landslide.
Just wanted to drop this bad boy off first.”
Well, I supposed my conversation with Leo could wait a few more minutes. Lord knew I didn’t want to have it while my sister and James were around.
Leo maneuvered himself to the bottom part of the tree and helped James carry it inside. They brought it to the far end of the living room, then knelt to remove the netting.
“Where’s Marley?” I asked.
“Carport. I didn’t want her to help me because she’s wearing one of your mom’s old sweaters.” He glanced at Leo. “Nice that my lumberjack of a brother is staying with us. I’ll have to think of more heavy things to move while you’re here.”
“Why is she in the carport?”
“She left the tree stand there when we pulled all the stuff out of the garage last month.”
Marley needed to hurry because it was freezing outside. I was about to close the door against the temperature when my sister pushed against it, clutching the metal tree stand we’d used since I was a child.
“I found the tree stand,” Marley said in an odd tone. “And, uh, while I was out there, I found something else.”
Peering nervously behind herself, she pushed the door with her elbow, opening it wider.
“Hey, darlin’.”
Stone smiled at me as he walked in.
4 MONTHS AGO - AUGUST
Leo offered to pick me up in Coleman Creek so we could spend time together at his place before my flight to Los Angeles.
We’d been texting and video calling almost daily since the wedding, and although he hadn’t been physically present in my life, he’d been a tremendous support to me—even if he didn’t know I’d spent my summer going back and forth in my mind about Stone.
Except he seemed unusually quiet when he arrived. I wanted to ask him about it, but my sisters and their partners surrounded us. Leo declined Marley’s offer to spend the night, preferring to make the long drive twice in one day rather than risk missing work tomorrow.
“I’m trying to get ahead on jobs and bank vacation time so I can be here for an extended period over the holidays,” he explained.
“Maureen and I are taking a trip over Thanksgiving,” Will said. “Buddy of mine has a cabin. It’s big and modern but totally off the grid. We’ve almost got Marley and James convinced to go. You two should come too.”
Since I’d spent the past seven weeks stressing over Stone, it hit me how the rest of the world saw Leo and me as a matched set. I tried to picture going on a couples’ vacation with Stone and my family, but the mental image failed to manifest.
“I’ll be back for Christmas,” I said. “But Thanksgiving is a no-go since I’ll be busy trying to make a good impression on my new team at work.
” I wagged a finger at Marley. “Of course you guys are doing something semi-outdoorsy when I can’t go.
My followers would probably love a cozy Thanksgiving in the woods. ”
Maureen guffawed. “Cut the shit. The internet may be fooled, but we all know the real @theadventurousmiranda is just as happy at a four-star hotel. Maybe happier.”
“You mean like how the internet thinks your YouTube channel is full of good vibes when in reality it’s run by a cynical malcontent?” I retorted.
“Oooh. Cynical malcontent. Sick burn,” Maureen replied, winking at me.
“I’m putting that on a T-shirt,” Will said.
Climbing into the passenger side of Leo’s truck an hour later, I realized I looked forward to seeing my sisters again at Christmas. It had been a little touchy between us after my mom died, but we seemed to have found our way back to each other.
I didn’t notice the tense set of Leo’s shoulders until we were out of the town limits. It wasn’t easy between us like it usually was. His left leg bounced as he drove. He fidgeted with his playlists, skipping every other song.
We were halfway to the freeway when I called him on it. “Bear, what is the matter with you? I haven’t seen you in almost two months, and suddenly, you’re wound as tight as a bow. It’s not like you to be so nutso with the music.”
His jaw flexed. “I want to tell you, but I don’t want to risk pissing you off.”
My forehead rose at that enigmatic statement. “Well, now you have to tell me.”
He gripped the steering wheel. “Yeah, but…we don’t really talk about…Stone.”
I sighed. “I just figured you disapproved so much it was easier to avoid it.”
He nodded. “But there shouldn’t be a big thing in your life that’s off-limits. Stone is important to you. What kind of friend am I if you feel like you can’t talk about him with me?”
“Is that why you’re acting so strange?”
“Not entirely. It’s mostly because… Back in December, you said Stone was going to break up with Naomi after the movie came out.
And I looked online the other day—” The pulse in his neck flickered.
“I noticed that they don’t seem to be broken up.
I even saw one article hinting that they’re secretly engaged. ”
My breath caught. I’d seen that article too.
I turned my face toward the window. “That was the plan,” I said, hating the catch in my voice. Leo waited patiently as I gathered myself before continuing. “Do you remember when I was upset right before Marley and James’s wedding?”
“Your video call with Stone?”
“Yep.” I laced my fingers in my lap. “That as when he told me their PR teams wanted him and Naomi to extend their relationship past the movie premiere.”
Leo gazed out thoughtfully on the lonely highway. “I thought it might be something like that. Truthfully, I worried for a minute it might be even worse—like he'd started dating Naomi for real and left you behind. I…I’m sorry I didn’t ask back then. Sorry you had to go through it alone.”
“You danced with me at the wedding. And held me when I couldn’t sleep. That was what I needed.”
“Still, you’ve been sitting with it on your own for weeks. Unless you’ve confided in someone else?”
I shook my head. “You don’t need to worry.
Honestly, the time in Coleman Creek was exactly what I needed.
I asked Stone for time to think things through.
We’ve still communicated, so it hasn’t been a total break.
Just surface-level, though. He messaged me about his press tour.
I sent him pictures of the dogs. Stuff like that.
” Rubbing my palms against my thighs, I felt the relief of finally being able to talk about this.
“Obviously, my first thought was just to end it. But I can’t shake this feeling like I haven’t given us a real chance.
When we’re together, it’s good. But it’s also a dreamworld that exists in its own reality.
Being away this summer gave me a chance to get some perspective on that.
Then again, it’s incredibly rare for me to feel a connection with anyone.
The past few years, it’s only been him. And you, obviously. ”
Leo’s eyes flashed, but he stayed quiet, an inscrutable look on his face. Finally, he asked, “So you’re giving him more time?”
“I think I have to… You’re sure we’re okay to talk about this?”
“All good, Panda. I never should have shut the door on it.”
“Let’s never do that again,” I said. “I want us to talk about everything.”
“Agreed.”
An enormous weight lifted off my shoulders at his response. As much as I’d proven to myself that I could live without his guidance regarding Stone, my time in Coleman Creek showed me that I didn’t want to.
“Alright, then, as far as Stone goes, I decided not to end it before he and I have had a chance to make a real go of things. To be fair, I’ve been half-assing this relationship in the same way Stone’s only been in it half-time. We’ve both been uncommitted in different ways.”
“You want to wait until he actually ends the fake thing with Naomi and then decide?”
“Basically, yes.”
“Is there a revised end date for that?”
“The holidays. I told Stone that even if I give him more time, I’m done if it doesn’t happen by New Year’s, and he promised and told his PA too.”
“You believe him?”