Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
Just as they return to the town center, Sean and Jack are walking back from the cove.
“How’d you two do?” Jack asks, swinging his and Sean’s basket from hand to hand. “We got everything on our half of the list.”
“And got dive-bombed by some very annoyed seagulls,” says Sean laughing. “I thought Jack might actually fall off the pier, I was all ready to jump in if need be.”
“Thankfully, I was able to keep my balance while those french-fry seeking marauders kept coming at me,” Jack says dramatically.
“Marauders, huh?” Lizzie laughs. “I’m very glad to see you survived intact.”
“Hey, those birds are big, and they are relentless!” he says, laughing at how funny it sounds.
“No, man, those guys are fierce and when they have their little hearts set on finding some fries, there is no getting them to stop,” Ben says, piling on.
“You two are mean,” says Sean. “They are no fun when there’s a bunch around you and they want something. Be nice!”
Lizzie calms down and stops laughing. “Oh, I know. Seriously, I remember being a little kid and having one steal a sandwich right out of my hand. Freaked me out for the longest time.” She playfully hits Jack on the shoulder. “We’re just teasing, I know how pushy they can be, I’m very glad you did not end up in the freezing cold water.” She looks into their basket and sees the shells and seaweed they needed to find. “There’s a table over there in front of Sea Coast, let’s put all our things on it and take a picture and text it in.”
“I know I’m going to sound like I’m 90, but when I was a kid you had to go and track someone down and show them all your finds, and they’d check it off on an old clipboard. Now you just send a photo and that’s it,” says Ben. “Okay, I am now officially the grumpy, ‘they didn’t do things like that in my day.’ old guy.”
“You are hardly an old guy, and I agree, it loses some of its old-school flavor doing it this way. But I have to say, it is a lot quicker,” says Lizzie.
They take a picture of all their findings, and for good measure, a selfie of the four of them.
“Okay, next on the list is, ‘One thing that makes Christmas special,’” Lizzie reads. “Should we track down Santa and bring him in?” she suggests, smiling..
Jack takes the list from Lizzie and looks at it. “Yeah, this one leaves a lot up for interpretation, doesn’t it?”
“I actually kind of like that,” says Sean. “Christmas means something different to everyone, so this is a way for all of us to share what makes it special to us.”
“You’re right,” Jack says, and thinks for a minute. “How about each of us chooses something that means Christmas to us, and then we put them all together?”
“I love that,” Ben says. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
Lizzie looks around trying to think about what her one item could be. “Wow, that’s not easy, to break it down to just one thing.”
“I know,” Jack says, feeling just as perplexed. “Should we split up so we can focus? Say meet back here in a half-hour? And just take a photo - so you’re not dragging back the huge tree from the square or something!” Jack looks to the trio for consensus.
They all nod in agreement. “Yeah, let’s meet at Sea Coast for cocoa in a half hour?” suggests Ben, “Sound good?”
They all agree and head off in different directions. Lizzie doesn’t have a clue as to where to even begin to look. A snow globe? Candy canes? Without thinking she starts walking toward the Gazette office at the other end of town. While she’s walking down Main Street it starts to snow, not a lot, but just that perfect, like you’re inside a snow-globe kind of snow. It was funny, when she was in Boston the snow just seemed like a pain that made parking harder - her neighborhood was filled with the folks who dig out a spot and put a beach chair in it while they’re gone, the Boston signal for ‘don’t even think about parking here!’ But here, now, this snow feels well, kind of magical. Oh boy, there you go again Cranberry Harbor, sinking your sweetness and homespun claws into me, she thinks.
It was truly impossible, looking all around her to find just one thing that made Christmas, Christmas to her. It was a million little things. Things she had managed to kind of block out of her mind in all the years she’d skipped coming home because so many of them were connected to Jack. She didn’t even want to think about Jack making Christmas special, because he’d proposed to her at Christmas, and then left a year later for California, you guessed it, at Christmas.
Before she knows it she’s at the Gazette office, so she decides to stop in and check on her dad. She climbs the stairs to the second floor office, opens the door and sees her father, mom, Matt and Sophie gathered around a little Christmas tree in the corner of the room.
“Well hey guys, did I miss the memo that we were having a party today?” Lizzie asks as she walks over and scoops up Sophie.
“Hi, honey,” her parents say.
“We texted you many, many times,” Sophie says, wriggling out of her arms and going back to decorating the tiny tree. “You didn’t come but then you did.”
Matt laughs. “We texted you twice, I figured you were busy with Jack,” he teases. “Was I right?” He continues to help Sophie with the little tree, keeping her from overloading it with so many ornaments on one side that it will fall over.
“Yeah, kind of, we…” she finds herself inadvertently blushing. “We were doing some of the scavenger hunt with Sean and Ben, and we just split up to go find something that represents Christmas to us.”
“That sounds fun, and kind of challenging,” Gabby says, wrapping a soft, plaid blanket around the base of the tree.
“So what’s up with this little tree?” Lizzie asks, slipping off her coat.
“It was my idea, Aunt Wiz,” says Sophie. “Grandpa spends all his time here so I thought he needed a Christmas tree so he wouldn’t be lonely.”
“And I thought it was a fabulous idea,” says Peter, giving Sophie a kiss on the head.
Lizzie stands there, looking at this little Charlie Brown-esque tree, and realizes that this is what makes Christmas for her. It’s not presents, or cookies, though cookies are nice, or a tree even, it’s these people, the people she loves. Her eyes well up as she watches them bring this little girl's thoughtful vision to life. A scraggly tree decorated with handmade computer printer paper chains, paper clips, and some snowflakes awkwardly cut, also from printer paper. It was one of the most beautiful trees she’d ever seen.
“How about I take a picture of all of you in front of this magnificent tree?” Lizzie says.
“I want to be in front, because it was my idea,” says Sophie.
“Oh, you definitely have to be front and center,” Lizzie says. They all gather around the tree and Lizzie says, “Say, Santa Claus!” and she takes the picture, several actually, and then just stands there for a moment.
“You okay, honey?” Peter asks.
Fighting back tears, she nods. “Yeah, I just love you all so much. You are all what makes Christmas special to me.”
“Don’t cry, Aunt Wiz, Santa’s coming very soon.”
Lizzie pulls herself together. “You’re so right, Sophie. You know what the song says,” she starts to sing, ‘You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout, I’m telling you why, ‘cause Santa Claus is coming to town.’”
“I don’t know that song,” she looks quizzically at her aunt. “It sounds kind of bossy.”
They all laugh. “You’re right, it is kind of bossy. We should all feel what we feel, right?” Lizzie agrees. Kids are so darn smart.
“Yup,” says Sophie. “And I feel very happy.”
“Me too, DoodleBug, me too.” Lizzie gives her mom and dad a hug, “I hate to go, but I’m supposed to meet all the guys back at Sea Coast to see what everyone came up with.” She buttons up her coat. “Want me to stop at the store to get something for dinner? I definitely feel like I have not been pulling my weight cooking-wise. Oh! Or we could get some Korean take-out at Whistle Pig?” she looks hopefully at her family, grinning. “They have lots of healthy, vegetarian options...just saying.”
“Gee everyone, how about some Korean take-out tonight?” Gabby says laughing. “You want to see if Shannon wants to meet up after work, Matt? We could all go to the tree lighting and carol sing together after that.”
“Yeah, that could be a real life saver, actually. Would you mind if Sophie comes with you, Mom, and we’ll meet you at say, 5? I have an estimate I need to get to a client, and it would be very boring for her.”
“Super boring,” Sophie concurs, nodding.
“No problem at all,” says Gabby.
Lizzie heads to the door. “All of you text me what you want, and I’ll take care of it,” she says, as she heads back to meet up with the others, curious about what they’ll come back with.
It was still snowing on Lizzie’s walk back into town. She is being extra careful since they haven’t salted the sidewalks yet and it is already getting pretty slippery. She is the first one to arrive at Sea Coast, so she claims a table before the after-school crowd starts pouring in. As she sits, scrolling through her phone she doesn't notice Jack arriving.
“You look very deep in thought,” he says, taking off his coat and putting it on the back of a chair. He rubs his hands together to warm them. “I was born here, I am a many-generations old New Englander, why can I never remember to bring gloves anywhere?”
Lizzie laughs. “I know, I do the same thing, and I lose them all the time. My mom on the other hand has gloves from the 1980s.” She shrugs. “This apple fell very far from the tree.”
“So, I wanted to ask you–”
And then Ben and Sean return.
“To be continued,” he says to Lizzie. “Hey!” He stands up, “Cocoa? Coffee? Tea? Scones? Cookies? What will it be?”
Lizzie reaches for her wallet, “I’d love a cocoa and a gingerbread cookie,” she says.
Jack waves off her money, “I got this. And thanks for the reminder about those cookies, I may have to get one too. Gentlemen? What would you like?” he says, turning to Ben and Sean.
“That sounds like the perfect treat on a snowy day, count me in too,” says Ben. “Sean?”
“I’m going to be the outlier and have a cranberry scone with my cocoa,” he stands up. “You sure you’ve got this? We can treat,” says Sean.
“Nope, I want to do this, but you could help me carry it all,” they head off to the counter to order.
“This has been such a good day,” Ben says. “It’s amazing how something so simple can make you just feel good. I’ve really loved spending time with you and Jack.”
He and Lizzie are quiet for a moment. “Me too,” she says. “I haven’t done any of these things in way too long. To have gone skating, to the pancake breakfast, doing the scavenger hunt–”
“Don’t forget the tree lighting and carol singing is tonight,” he says smiling.
“Oh no, I can’t forget that. Actually my whole family is going.” She sighs.
“Is that not a good thing?” Ben asks, a little concerned.
“Oh, no! It’s great! It’s all great,” she says.
“Yeah, it’s awful when that happens, right? When everything is wonderful and great and you’re happy? I hate that!” he says, teasing her.
Lizzie swats his arm and he pulls away laughing. “Stop!” she says laughing. “I know! It sounds like a pathetic problem to have!” She sits back. “It’s just easier when you kind of block it out and don’t–”
“Feel anything so you don’t miss it when it’s not there?” Ben queries.
“I wouldn’t say I don’t feel anything,” she says, feeling a bit defensive.
“”I’m sorry, you’re right. Of course you feel things. But you’ve blocked some people out. And it’s hard to keep doing that when they’re being pretty great,” he suggests.
“Yeah…” she nods.
Jack and Sean come back bearing lots of warm and delicious treats for all.
“Thank you, Jack, this is just what I needed,” says Lizzie. She takes the lid off her cocoa and blows on it.
Wanting to get away from the topic of the inner Lizzie, she turns to the guys, “So, did you all find the true meaning of Christmas. In under thirty minutes?”
“This one was hard, no way around that,” says Sean. “I don’t have the same history you three have, though maybe that makes it easier. Less baggage, more recent memories. This is only my second Christmas here as a year-rounder.”
“So what did you find?” Jack asks.
“Well,” he pulls out a paper Tall Tales bag and puts it on the table. “I felt a little weird buying something, like maybe it shouldn’t be a ‘thing’ per se, but anyway,” he opens the bag and pulls out a copy of, `Twas the Night Before Christmas. “My parents always read this to us every Christmas Eve, and I got thinking as we start planning to have a family someday, I want to pass on that tradition.” He looks at everyone. “Too schmaltzy?” he smiles.
Ben pretends to mock him, rolling his eyes, and then shakes his head. “No, I love it. Who knows, maybe next year we’ll be reading it to a kid we haven’t even met yet. It’s great.”
“Did I miss something?” Jack asks, looking confused.
“Yes, and I’ll fill you in later,” she says. “And I think it’s the perfect amount of schmaltz. I love it.”
“That is so wonderful, Sean, what a great idea! Okay, you go next,” Jack says to Lizzie.
“Okay, so speaking of schmaltzy,” she says.
Ben puts his hand up. “Okay, moratorium on worrying about being schmaltzy, it’s a Christmas scavenger hunt, it’s snowing, we’re drinking cocoa...I think schmaltz is kind of baked into the moment. Extra points if you make us cry,” he jokes.
“Good point, about the schmaltz,” Lizzie says. “Okay, so I ended up at my Dad’s office, and when I got there Sophie had insisted that she and Matt bring him the saddest little dilapidated tree so he wouldn't be lonely when he’s working.”
“Okay, tearing up, we may have a winner,” Jack says, raising his hand.
“Just seeing my whole family there, making this little girl’s thoughtful idea come to life, I thought, this is it. It’s these people who make Christmas special to me.” She pulls up the photos on her phone and they all look at them.
“That’s so sweet, Lizzie,” says Ben. “She will probably always remember that.”
“Well, even if she doesn’t, I will,” she says, fighting back tears. “Okay, someone else go before I dissolve into a puddle.”
Jack gestures to Ben. “Why don’t you go?” he says.
“Okay, so I wandered around and around and couldn’t think of anything.” He stops for a minute. “It seemed crazy to me that I couldn’t think of anything after having spent more than 30 Christmases here. And then I thought of something. So I went down to Bradford’s Market, and bought these.” He pulls a bag of Goldfish crackers out of his coat.
Everyone looks perplexed. “Goldfish crackers?” Lizzie asks for the crowd.
Ben laughs. “I know, it’s weird!” He takes a deep breath. “Okay, so when I was about seven I had a crisis of faith–”
“About God? At seven?” Jack asks, laughing.
“No,” Ben says, laughing as well. “About Santa. This kid in the fourth grade told me on the bus that Santa wasn’t real and I was just destroyed.”
“Charlie?” both Lizzie and Jack say. Ben nods.
“Why is there always one mean kid who wants to ruin it for everyone?” Sean says. “What happened to them to make them such mean Christmas ruiners?”
“Charlie Tuttle was not a nice kid,” Ben says.
“No,” both Jack and Lizzie agree, shaking their heads.
“So when I got home I didn’t say anything to anyone, I was afraid to find out the possible truth, so I came up with an idea. I left a trail of Goldfish crackers from the fireplace to my bed, and I was going to stay awake all night to catch Santa following the trail of crackers, because–”
Lizzie nods, “Because, hello! No one can resist Goldfish crackers.”
“Exactly!” Ben continues. “But of course I fell asleep, but when I woke up the Goldfish were all gone and there was a note on my bed. It said, ‘Thank you so much for the Goldfish, Ben, I get awfully tired of cookies! Merry Christmas, Love, Santa.’ Well, that sealed the deal for me. And it bought me about three more years of believing in Santa. Now, I can never see Goldfish crackers and not think of that.”
“That is so sweet, how did I not know this?” asks Sean.
“Maybe because when you’re trying to impress a guy you probably don’t lead with a story about when a bully told you there was no Santa, it’s not exactly a macho story,” Ben laughs.
“No, it’s completely sweet and adorable,” says Lizzie.
Ben points to Lizzie, “And I rest my case. Okay, Jack Cahoon, now it’s your turn.”
Jack takes a deep breath. “Like all of you it was hard to distill it down to one thing. Christmas is so many things, family, fires in the fireplace, cocoa, so I also wandered around looking for meaning. Something I seem to do a lot year-round. Anyway, I found myself at the church thrift shop, where I ran into Alexis’s grandfather. We talked for a couple of minutes, and then I wandered around, hoping something would spark and then I saw this.” He pulls a small white bag out of his pocket. He opens it up, unwraps the tissue paper and reveals several old holiday pins. “I saw these and I thought of my grandmother, who was a teacher, and every year at least one kid would give her a gaudy wreath or Santa pin, and she would wear them proudly all through the season, and on Christmas day, come to our house wearing them all.” He’s quiet. “She made a difference to so many kids who grew up here. She was a beloved teacher, and I know I can never impact all the people she did, but I got these to serve as a reminder about making a difference, loving what you do and wearing something a kid gives you even if it is a giant rhinestone covered reindeer.”
“I loved your grandmother,” Lizzie says, sniffing. “She was just the best. She used to let us come to her room sometimes during recess and she’d give us treats.”
“Yeah, she sure loved you,” Jack says, holding back some tears.
“Well, I don’t know about you three, but I’m a complete mess,” says Sean. “I never knew her, but I wish I had.”
“She was an amazing teacher. I had her in second grade,” says Ben. “She really cemented my love of nature, plants, and the outdoors.” He raises his cocoa cup, “To Mrs. Cahoon!”
They all clink cups and toast Jack’s grandmother.
Lizzie’s phone dings and she picks it up. “Ah, I have my marching orders for dinner,” she reads the text. “Anyone else want to join us for some Whistle Pig Korean before the caroling and tree lighting?”
“Sure, if I’m not crashing,” says Jack. “I’ll tell my parents I’ll meet them at the tree lighting.”
“We should go and do a few things to get ready for the wreath making classes, but we’ll see you at the square? 7-sharp?” Ben says, getting up and putting his coat on.
“Sounds good,” says Lizzie. “Hey, thank you two for making this an amazing day.”
“Right back at you,” says Sean, giving her a hug. “See you both soon.”
“And then there were two,” says Jack. He clears his throat and looks uneasy. “So I started to say before, that I’m so happy we’ve had all this time together. It’s meant a lot to me, Lizzie. I’m grateful you’d spend even five minutes with me.”
“The past is in the past. We’re good,” she says, trying to convince herself as well as him.
“I know you’re headed back to Boston after the holidays, but I’m really thinking I’m going to stay. I told my boss in California that I want to take a leave, and she’s cool with it. She even said I could continue to work remotely if I want.”
“That’s amazing, things like that don’t happen often. There’s nothing, no one you need to get back to California for? You can just leave?”
He looks a little confused. “No, it’s all good. And they’re pretty good about wanting us to be out in the world exploring new projects, it’s how they keep evolving and growing. Anyway, I know I completely blew it, but I’d really like to keep spending time together, if you’d like to. I can come up to Boston as often as you’ll have me, and maybe you’ll come down here sometimes?” He trails off, uncertain of how this is landing.
“Um, I’m not sure, I…” she’s flustered and doesn't want to say the wrong thing, or the right thing? “We can certainly keep in touch, keep it loose, and see what happens?” She’s still worried he might break her heart again.
Then, he says it. “I still love you, Lizzie. I always have and I always will. I blew it once. I’m not about to do it again. I promise I will never leave you again.”
Lizzie doesn’t know what to say. She’s terrified to say it back, so she doesn’t. Instead she looks at her phone. “Uh, I need to call in this order. Stick a pin in this?”
Jack is surprised. “Uh, yeah, sure. Let’s do that.”
“Cool, so are you okay with mostly vegetarian options? My mom is trying really hard to keep my dad healthy.”
“Anything is fine,” he says. “I’m good with whatever you choose.”