Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
An hour and a half later they are all sitting in the living room, many of them on the floor, surrounded by the remnants of an incredible Korean dinner. They’ve feasted on a selection of mandu, bibimbap, kimchi, and Sophie’s favorite, hotteok (Korean donuts) in front of the Christmas tree.
“You are going to have to roll me to the tree lighting,” Peter says, rubbing his stomach. “That was delicious, thank you, honey, for getting all this for us. Sure we can’t pitch in?”
“No way, it was my treat, it’s the least I can do, you two have been treating me like a queen since I’ve been here,” Lizzie says as she looks at the clock, “What do you all say, are you ready to sing some carols?”
“Is a carol a song, Aunt Wiz?” Sophie asks, working on her second hoddeok.
“It is, it’s a Christmas song, like Jingle Bells, or We WishYou a Merry Christmas. ”
Shannon and Matt start cleaning up all the take out containers, dishes and utensils.
“Here, let me help,” Jack says standing up from his spot on the floor. He picks up the rest of the empty containers, grabs some glasses, and carries them into the kitchen, trailed by Sophie in search of some more snacks.
“It’s kind of like old times, isn’t it?” Gabby says, looking at Lizzie, trying to get a read on her. When Lizzie doesn’t respond, she pushes a little more. “You okay, honey?”
“I’m not sure.” She looks to see if anyone is coming back into the room. “He told me he loves me. I don’t know what to do with that.”
Peter sits forward on the edge of the couch. “I suppose what you do with that depends on how you feel about him. Do you still love him?”
“If you’d asked me a week ago I would have said no way, not at all, he doesn’t matter to me...”
“And today?” her dad queries.
“Today I’m not so sure.” Still seated on the floor she wraps her arms around her legs, pulling herself into a tight little ball. “We’ve had a wonderful week together. Like old times, only, better in a way. More grounded, less expectations. I’ve felt relaxed and like myself. I’d forgotten what that feels like–to be completely myself with a guy.”
“Can you just spend some time together and see where it goes? It’s not like you have to decide anything, right?” says Gabby.
“No, I don’t. But I also don’t want to string him along and end up hurting him if I can’t get over the past.” she throws herself back and puts a pillow over her face and quietly yells into it.
“Mommy has me do that sometimes when I get flustereated,” Sophie says, having returned.
Lizzie removes the pillow. “You mean frustrated?” she says, smiling at her adorable niece.
“Whatever,” she shrugs her shoulders. “Screaming makes me feel better sometimes.”
“I think screaming can make all of us feel better sometimes,” Lizzie agrees, and pulls Sophie onto her lap. “And hugging you always makes me feel better,” she says, squeezing her tight.
“So, I don’t suppose anyone here wants to go and see the giant Christmas tree and sing some carols?” Matt asks, looking directly at Sophie.
“Me! Me! Me!” she says, raising her hand.
“All you folks ready? Dad, can you make it off that couch?” Matt teases his very relaxed father.
“Yes indeed, I am ready to go.” And, with a bit of a groan, he’s up and ready for the next thing. “Okay, I am ready. Boy, covering this festival is feeling like more work every year,” he says, zipping up his coat and pulling on his red and green knit cap.
“Too bad you don’t know any good writer/editors,” Matt says, buttoning up his coat. Lizzie shoots him a look. “What? Oh you thought I meant you? Jeez, Lizzie, way to make everything all about you,” he teases. “I’m just putting it out there,” he shrugs and opens the door for them all to head out.
“You want to ride over with me?” Jack asks Lizzie as they begin to pile into cars.
“Uh, sure... Mom? I’ll ride over with Jack, and come back with you and Dad,” Gabby waves to her, and they’re all off.
Jack starts his car, they put on their seat belts, all without saying anything. As they drive toward town Jack finally breaks the awkward silence.
“Look, I shouldn't have–”
Lizzie stops him, “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. We’re all a bit intoxicated by Christmas, being home, it’s no big deal. It was Cranberry Harbor talking. I get it.” She looks out the window, not at him.
“That’s not at all what I was going to say, though that is an interesting angle, Ms. Journalist,” he smiles at her.
Now she’s embarrassed. “Oops.”
“What I was going to say was, I didn’t mean to spring that on you. I should have waited. I know you’ve got a lot going on, and I didn’t mean to add something else for you to think about. I didn’t say that to add any pressure. I realize you may no longer feel the same way, which is the risk you take when you tell someone you love them.”
“Honestly, Jack, I don’t know where I am. I just don’t know. I decided three years ago when you left that I never wanted to see you again, and that I was done caring about you. Spending time together this week has been really nice, but I still don’t know.”
“How about we table all of this until after the holidays? Revisit it in the New Year? But just know, I’m not going anywhere, I know how I feel,” he says as they pull into the lot near the town square.
“Okay,” she says, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the door, not knowing at all what to do, but yet her heart sort of does.
The town is teeming with people bundled up against the flurries and brisk sea breeze. Lizzie hadn’t been home for this in so long she’d forgotten just how many people come together for it. It was completely magical. Two women from the Chamber of Commerce were handing out battery operated candles, while also reminding everyone to drop them afterward in one of the many labeled baskets around the square. Seeing everyone in the snowy scene holding their candles was breathtaking, and actually choked Lizzie up.
“I should look for my parents,” she says.
As she turns to leave, Jack’s parents, and a young woman she doesn’t know find them.
“Jack! There you are,” his parents, Jane and David, call to him.
“Hey,” he says, and then looks shocked. “Penelope? What, when, why are you here?”
Lizzie immediately recognizes her from stalking her on Instagram. It’s @penelopej. Her heart begins to race, her face feels hot, and she just wants to go.
Jack is obviously flustered, “Penelope, what are you doing…” He looks over at Lizzie who feels like she could cry, and he looks totally shocked.
Penelope wraps Jack in a big embrace. “Surprise!”
Jane and David, Jack’s parents, look completely caught off-guard and say nothing, Jack looks totally in shock and is clearly too stunned to talk, and Lizzie wants to leave more than anything in the world. She finally breaks the awkward silence.
Lizzie extends her hand, “Lizzie Martin, Jack and I are old friends. Jane, David, it’s lovely to see you, but I’ve got to go find my family. Enjoy the caroling!” she says, trying to sound perky and unaffected and get away as quickly as possible.
“Nice to meet you! I’m Jack’s girlfriend, Penelope Jacek,” she says, as Lizzie hurries away.
Jack grabs Lizzie’s arm, and looks at her with pleading eyes. “I’ll, I’ll call you later? I have no idea what this is all about, we ended things–”
“No worries, I think we’re good.” Stunned, she walks off to find her family. At this moment the last thing she wants to do is sing any stupid, happy carols. Holding her LED candle, she just wants to throw it on the ground and run. How could she have let her guard down? How stupid was she? Her phone rings, she assumes it’s Jack so she lets it go to voicemail. A part of her wants to cry, but another, more stubborn part feels like she’s cried enough over this man. Her phone rings again and. worried it could be her mom, she answers it this time.
“Hello?”
“Martin? Margaret, here.” This was weird, why was her boss calling her?
“Hi, Margaret, Merry Christmas,” Lizzie says. Still reeling about Jack, and now perplexed about this.
“Yes, whatever,” she says in her typical warm and engaging way. “I’m sorry to bother you, I know you’re on Martha’s Vineyard or some insignificant place where you grew up…”
“Cranberry Harbor, on the Cape, that’s okay, is something wrong?”
“Yes, well, the thing is the company let too many people take the holiday and I’m here all alone and the mayor is holding an emergency press conference first thing in the morning about an impending strike–the T could be shut down on Christmas and I don’t have a reporter to be there.”
Without thinking Lizzie answers, “Yes, I’ll do it. I’ll be there.” It’s perfect, she can leave town without losing face and avoid running into Jack and Penelope all over town. ”City Hall?”
“Yes, 9 am, you’re sure you can be there?”
Nary a thank you, but Lizzie doesn’t care. “I said I’ll be there and I will be.”
“Turn the story around as fast as you can, we need it up on the website as soon as possible. I want to scoop those people at the Boston Daily.”
“I’m doing a thing now, but I’ll head out soon. Promise.”
Realizing that if her landlord hasn’t finished the electrical upgrades he was doing on her apartment, she won’t have a place to stay, she shoots him a text.
Have a work emergency I have to come back to. Is my apartment habitable?
Not expecting to hear back for a while, she’s shocked to get a reply right away.
As a matter of fact I just left your apartment. It’s all set. Thanks for the leeway in getting it done.
Phew, thank goodness.
No worries. Glad it all worked out. And thanks for the new plugs and switches.
After getting a smiley face emoji back, she puts her phone in her pocket and goes to find her family. And try to forget about the stunning woman, his girlfriend apparently, who was now with Jack.
Lizzie half-heartedly made it through the carols, and even faked a passable, “Woo!” when the tree was lit, but her heart wasn’t in it, not at all.
“You okay, honey?” her mom asked, concerned about her change in mood.
“I’m fine. I just got a call from work and I have to go back for a day, but I’ll be back by Christmas Eve.”
Peter overhears and isn’t happy. “Why are they calling you back? That’s not right.”
“Apparently there may be a big strike of T drivers and the mayor is holding a press conference in the morning. A possible train strike at Christmas is a big story. There’s no one there to cover it, so my editor called me. I really don’t mind. It’s fine.”
“You don't sound or look fine,” her mom says. “Did something happen with Jack?”
She brushes off the concern, she doesn’t even want to talk about it. She just wants to get on the road. “No, everything is fine. Though I do need to get on the road, so-”
“You’re driving tonight? It’s been snowing, I don’t like that, not at all,” Peter says, “and I’m not being sexist, I wouldn’t want Matt driving to Boston tonight either.”
“It will be fine, Dad. I have all-wheel drive. It’s only an hour and a half, less maybe with no traffic. I don’t want to go in the morning and risk hitting rush hour.”
“What about your apartment?” Gabby says as they start walking to the car.
“It’s all set, I texted Joe, and he finished today, so, perfect timing.” As they’re walking she finds herself looking for Jack and Penelope, planning to hide behind anything near if she sees them. Thankfully she doesn’t.
Sitting in the backseat of her parent’s station wagon she checks her phone. He’s called three times and texted four.
Lizzie, we need to talk… she doesn’t read any further.
She deletes the texts and the voicemails, without listening to them.
Once they’re home she runs upstairs and packs up her computer, her makeup, hairbrush and some, not all, of her clothes. She’ll be back before long, so she doesn’t need to bring back everything. Or… maybe she won’t come back. Avoid Cranberry Harbor altogether for the rest of the holidays. With that thought she decides to pack everything, except all her gifts, so if she decides to stay in Boston it’s all good. She picks up her things in the bathroom, stuffs them into her very uninspired Ziploc bag, someday she will have to get an actual toiletry bag and stop traveling like a college student. She does a quick visual sweep, and all of a sudden feels really sad. She was having such a good visit, she was feeling so good, so hopeful, and now that was all dashed. Jack wasn’t who she thought he was, or maybe he was exactly who she’d come to believe he was, and her unappreciative and demanding boss was being, well, exactly who she knew her to be as well. She turns out the light, goes down the stairs with all her things.
“Okay, I’m so sorry to leave in a big rush like this, but I know you get it, Dad, duty calls.”
Peter hugs her hard. “I do, I just wish that stupid corporation cared more about you, and less about money.”
Gabby waves him off and hugs Lizzie. “Okay, now is not the time for a long debate about the future of journalism, honey. We can do that later over some red wine, so romantic,” she jokes. “You make sure to call us when you get in, okay?” Lizzie nods. “You’ve got plenty of gas?”
“Yup, filled it the other day, I’m good.”
She opens the door. “Okay, love you guys, “I’ll talk to you in a bit.”
She walks to her car and her mom calls out to her. “Call us if you get sleepy and want someone to talk to!” she yells.
“Will do!” Lizzie puts everything in her car, gets in, starts the engine, and fastens her seatbelt. As she backs out of the driveway she says out loud, “Damn you, Jack Cahoon, for ruining another Christmas. And shame on me for letting you.”