Chapter 5 #2
“Oh, not as tough as what you’ve gone through, I’m sure.” Audrey waved her hand as if to dismiss her troubles. “I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and what happened.”
“I’m okay. It was almost two years ago, and we’re getting through it.” Jane stood straighter, not in the mood for pity tonight. Not in the mood for reminders of Stephen, either, not while she was with Chris. “It’s been hard, but I’m doing much better.”
“I’m sure.” Audrey tsked her tongue against her teeth, the look on her face clearly stating she didn’t believe Jane whatsoever. “I bet your children have suffered so, so much.”
Why did Jane get the sense that Audrey wanted her children to suffer? Strange. “My children have been doing wonderful thanks to the support from my family.”
Audrey nodded. “You guys have always been so close. How’s Mindy, by the way? I haven’t seen her in forever. I’ve heard rumors about her and Marty not doing so well.”
Jane forced a smile. “She and Marty are doing great.”
“Uh huh, I’m sure. So did you just come out of the movies? Who are you here with?”
Jane’s heart dropped to her feet. She didn’t want Audrey to spread the news around town about her date with Christian. “Um…I came with a friend.”
Wow. When push came to shove, she could evade pretty well.
“Sometimes it’s nice to go out and get some time without the kids, huh?” Audrey smiled. “We should all get together sometime. You, Mindy, and me. We could have dinner, some drinks?”
“Um, sure. I’ll talk to my sister and maybe we could work something out.” Yet another evasion.
Audrey’s smile faded as she scrutinized Jane carefully. “Wow, Jane, why is your coat so big? You’re drowning in that thing.”
“Oh, um…”
At that very moment, Chris pulled his truck close to the curb. Jane turned at the sound of the engine, her eyes closing briefly when she saw him flick his head at her, indicating he wanting her to climb inside.
Audrey stepped close beside her, staring into the cab of the truck. “Is that Chris Nelson?”
“Uh, yeah,” Jane practically whispered. Oh, boy. It was gonna hit the fan now.
Audrey looked at her oddly. “I thought you said you came with a friend.”
“Um. Chris and I are—friends.” Jane didn’t know what else to say or how to explain herself. Caught in a sort of lie by the biggest gossip in town, what could she do?
“Are you on a date with him?” Audrey laughed. The high-pitched sound grated on Jane’s nerves. “He’s the biggest player ever. Trust me, honey, he’s dated everyone.”
“We’re not on a date. He’s a family friend, like I said,” Jane protested, trying to send Chris an apologetic look. Audrey’s comment niggled, though.
Had he really dated everyone?
“Sure, he’s a family friend. More like a partner in crime for your little brother the other player in town. Give me a break.” Audrey rolled her eyes and waved, backing away from Jane as if she had a disease. “Have fun with that one, Jane. If you don’t watch it, he’ll break your heart.”
Audrey turned and walked into the movie theater without a backward glance, joining a man who stood inside waiting for her. She finally looked over her shoulder, shot a smug glance in Jane’s direction, before they walked away.
Jane turned to look at Chris, who waited patiently in his truck. A sharp slap of wind hit her in the face as she went to the passenger side door and opened it, sliding inside the warm confines of the cab.
“Was that Audrey Daniels?”
He didn’t sound too pleased. Jane didn’t know what to make of that. Maybe Audrey left an unpleasant taste in everyone’s mouths? “Yeah, it was.”
“She, uh, talks way too much.” He shifted the truck into drive and pulled away from the curb, cruising through the parking lot toward the exit. “Did she tell you she’s divorcing Rich?”
“She did. I haven’t seen her in years.” Jane gazed out the window, watched the dim lights of the closed businesses that dotted the main drag pass by as he turned onto the highway.
“Back in high school she and Mindy were good friends.” Jane didn’t think they were anymore, and she could understand why Mindy didn’t want to be friends with someone like Audrey.
Jane couldn’t help but think about what Audrey said.
Was Chris a total player who went through women quickly?
He’d never indicated that he wasn’t looking for a commitment, but that didn’t mean much.
They barely knew each other. This certainly wasn’t anything serious.
She didn’t want it to be anything serious.
She figured if she kept thinking that, even saying it out loud, then maybe it would be true.
So why did her heart feel like it was cracking in two? All over a few choice words spoken by a not very nice woman? It made no sense.
This might be the excuse you need to stay away from him and protect yourself. The nagging little voice inside her head sounded surprisingly like her mother. She bet her mother wouldn’t approve of her seeing Chris, despite the fact that he was one of Mac’s friends.
Then she thought of Stephen and wondered yet again if she was moving too fast. He was the very last person she wanted to think about, but he was there, a constant reminder when she looked at the faces of her children.
Logan looked the most like him, though Sophia was a close second. Even Lexi resembled him, too.
The urge to see them, to be with them and breathe in their sweet scent was suddenly overwhelming.
“Could you drop me off at Mindy’s, please? I need to pick up my children.”
Chris looked at her, his brows furrowed in confusion. She met his gaze for the briefest second before she looked away, uncomfortable with his scrutiny.
“Yeah, I can do that. Do you need a ride to your house once you pick them up?”
“No, it’s okay, they’ll already be asleep. Mindy invited me to stay the night, anyway.” This sudden need to get away from Chris clawed at her gut. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts, to try to compartmentalize them, to figure out what actually happened this evening.
She’d told him she wanted to be just friends, yet she’d allowed him to kiss her, to touch her in the middle of a dark movie theater.
The way he’d looked at her before he left her standing on the curb, the heat and passion swirling in his golden eyes.
Countered with Audrey’s fake concern and mocking gaze…
All of it was just too, too much.
She remained silent the rest of the drive—a solid fifteen minutes—and Chris was, too. He turned the radio on, drowning the silence with a classic rock station, and she caught him tapping the edge of the steering wheel more than a few times.
So he liked music, big deal. She happened to enjoy all sorts of music as well. Her sister told her they’d played music for her when she was in the medically induced coma. They’d slipped ear buds into her ears and let her listen while she’d been asleep to the outside world.
The memory made her heart ache, and she blinked back the tears that threatened.
Stephen hadn’t been much of a music lover and so she’d denied herself of it for most of their marriage.
She could see now that depriving herself had been silly.
It wasn’t like he would’ve disapproved. Stephen hadn’t been that kind of man.
He’d always encouraged her outside interests.
A fresh wave of guilt hit her, swift and cutting.
Thoughts of her late husband didn’t feel right when she was out with another man.
A very handsome, virile man who kissed her like he never wanted anyone else.
How he’d held her face with his big hands so gently he almost made her forget the scars there, the ugliness she felt.
Jane bit back the sigh that wanted to spill. He was so attractive, so kind, and such a wonderful kisser. No man could be this perfect.
Resolve straightened her spine. She would not see him again after this night, not like this, in what basically amounted to a date. No, if she saw him around town or with Mac she’d be polite, friendly. But she wouldn’t take it any further.
She couldn’t. Her mind wouldn’t let her.
It wasn’t right.
Her gaze lingered on his mouth, noticed that it was straight and firm, his expression intent as he drove. He handled the truck with quiet efficiency, considering how the wind howled outside. She was duly impressed.
Again, too perfect for words. There had to be a flaw inside there somewhere—most likely a big gaping one, too. The player thing came to mind, and the more she thought about it the more she realized it was probably true.
No unattached man as gorgeous as Chris would not play the field.
“I leave Monday morning for a conference in Sacramento,” he said once he’d turned off the highway and onto the county road that led to Lone Pine Lake.
“Really?” She continued to stare out the window at the imposing shadows of the towering pine trees outside. The road led through a dense forest before opening up to reveal the lake and the little town that surrounded it.
“Yeah, I’m gone for five days. Mandated training, all captains are required to attend.”
“Who’s covering your shifts at the station?”
“Eric will. He’s my engineer and backup guy.” Chris paused, turning right onto the road where her sister lived. “Maybe we could get together next weekend?”
Jane swallowed hard, keeping her eyes locked on the window. She couldn’t see the houses that lined the street, though she knew they were there. It was late, almost eleven, and the people of Lone Pine Lake usually went to bed early. If she were at home, she’d be in bed by now as well.
But she wasn’t at home. She was with Chris. And she couldn’t accept his offer of another date, no matter how much she secretly wanted to.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea for us to see each other again. Like I said earlier, I’d like us to be friends,” she said quietly, choosing on purpose to drop that bomb as he pulled into her sister’s driveway.
That way she could make her escape quickly.
He jerked the truck to a stop, causing her to bounce in her seat. “Friends. All right.”
The edge of anger and frustration in his voice surprised her, and she turned to look at him. The scowl on his face said everything, the disappointment in his eyes a confirmation.
He didn’t like being turned down. Had she wounded his pride?
“I don’t think I’m ready for…this.” She waved her hand in between them and clutched her purse in her lap, as if she were using it as a shield.
Chris ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up in a way that made her ache to reach out and smooth it back into place. Just so she could touch him, one more time.
“Did I move too fast? I’m sorry about what happened back at the theater. I know I probably shouldn’t have done that.”
She wasn’t sorry for that magical kissing session. It now rated up there with one of the most unforgettable experiences of her life.
“It wasn’t that,” she admitted softly, though she knew she should’ve just agreed with him. It would’ve made it all so much easier.
“Fine, okay.” His mouth was drawn into a tight line and he clenched his jaw. His profile appeared as if carved from stone.
“It’s not you, Christian. It’s me. I can’t do this.
I don’t think I’m ready. It’s just…too much, what with my kids and my situation and the way I am.
” She reached for the handle on the inside of the door.
He sprang toward her, resting a warm, large hand on her left arm and stopping her from escaping.
“I don’t know about you, but I lied. I’m not sorry about what happened. That kiss we shared earlier was unbelievable.” He watched her, his eyes glittering from the glow of Mindy’s porch light. “And I don’t know if I want to forget it.”
“You should. Forget it. I need to forget it, too,” Jane admitted. She looked down, watching as he gave her arm a squeeze before removing his hand, and then he was out of the truck, rounding the front so he could open the door for her like some sort of gentleman.
Yes, indeed, the man was way too perfect for words. Just the idea of his secret fatal flaw instilled fear within her. It had to be bad. Really bad. And she’d figure it out while he was gone, convince herself he truly wasn’t any good for her, and reinforce her decision not to see him again.
He walked her to the door and she shrugged out of his jacket, handing it to him without saying a word. He took it, pulled it back on, and then nodded toward the front door.
“You should go inside. It’s too cold for you to stand out here.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist, regret filling her at having to tell him good-bye for good. Even though she knew she had to do this. “Thank you for taking me to the movies. And for the popcorn.”
He smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He appeared sad, a little lost, and her heart suddenly ached for him.
“I had a good time. I hope you’ll consider what I said.” His voice was low, his expression serious. She wanted to consider what he said, but knew she couldn’t.
Christian Nelson was just…too much.
“Good night, Chris. Have fun in Sacramento.” She ignored his reply on purpose, not wanting to acknowledge it.
Acknowledging it meant she should acknowledge her feelings. And she couldn’t do that.
He chuckled. “Oh yeah.”
And then he did something so unexpected he shocked the breath right out of her. Drawing closer, he pulled her into his arms and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. Soft and heady and with the slightest hint of tongue, it was a kiss designed to devastate her senses.
And make her want more.
It worked.
“’Night, Jane.” He released her, a tiny smile curving those sensuous lips, and she felt as if she’d been clubbed over the head.
Just the reaction he’d probably hoped for, too.
Thank goodness he would be gone for the next five days. She didn’t know if she’d be able to take much more of this.