Chapter 17 #2
Jane didn’t believe in New Year’s resolutions—she never followed through with them anyway—but she wasn’t about to rain on her sister’s parade. Instead, she took a small piece of fudge and popped it into her mouth, letting the rich chocolate melt on her tongue.
“I saw Chloe earlier at the store. She said you gave her one of your aprons as an early Christmas present and she loved it,” Mindy said, her voice deceptively casual.
Jane shrugged. “I’ve made a few.” In truth, she’d been sweating over them late into the night, ending up pleased with the results. All the women in her family were getting one as a present tomorrow.
“That’s great, Jane. You should consider reopening your Etsy shop or offering them to the local gift shops to sell,” Mindy suggested. “I remember the ones you used to make. They were amazing. You’re really talented.”
Her sister’s words meant more to her than she could say. And she did need a focus besides cleaning the house and taking care of the kids. Maybe…
The doorbell chimed again, the annoying rendition of “Jingle Bells” clanging away, and Jane brushed her hands together, heading toward the front door.
“Who’s that?” Mindy asked.
“Probably Patrick and Lyssa,” Jane called over her shoulder. She walked by the living room, saw that the kids were congregated once more around the television. Watching yet another Christmas movie, this one involving Disney characters.
She absolutely could not wait for December twenty-sixth.
Opening the door, she sing-songed, “Merry Christmas!” as loud as possible to her brother and sister-in-law in greeting.
But it wasn’t Patrick and his wife standing on her doorstep.
It was Christian, so gorgeous it was hard to look at him. She drank him in greedily, her gaze doing a quick sweep. The bandage around his head was gone, though she caught sight of an already healing gash across his forehead, and his left wrist was in a cast.
He had something slung over his shoulder—a giant red velvet bag like Santa Claus. And there was such a serious expression on his face, though his eyes glowed with appreciation when they first lit upon her.
“Merry Christmas to you, too, Jane.” His husky voice wrapped all around her, making her shiver, and she blinked once, twice.
Yep, he was real. And still standing on her doorstep.
“Christian.” She hesitated. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Gotta wear this cast for a couple of weeks but I’m doing a lot better.” He waved his left hand at her, showing off the plaster.
“I…I’m so glad.” She didn’t know what to do or say next. Beg his forgiveness, throw herself at his feet, and ask for mercy? Or send him away?
No. He had come to her, which must mean he wanted to see her. Maybe he wanted to talk to her. Or maybe he’d become consumed with the Christmas spirit and wanted to spoil her kids. He was, after all, carrying a sack that rivaled Santa’s.
“Can I come in? I’m letting in all the cold air.”
“Oh. Yes.” She opened the door wider and he walked inside, his rich, masculine scent making her nose twitch, her body yearn for his.
Chris turned to face her, watching as she slowly shut the door. “How are you, Jane?”
She decided to be honest. “I’m…not so good.”
His eyes flickered, the golden color darkening to a warm honey, and he pressed his lips together. “Me neither.”
“Christian, I—”
The kids chose that moment to run into the entryway, all three of them excited to see him. Even Lexi, her always reluctant Lexi, shot Jane an odd look before she called a soft greeting to Chris.
“What’s in the bag?” Logan shouted. He had presents permanently on the brain.
“Oh, I have a few Christmas gifts. Nothing special.” Chris shrugged and his attitude drove the children even crazier.
Mindy stood in the living room as all five of them made their way in. The surprise at seeing Chris was written all over her face. “Well hi, Chris.”
“Hey, Mindy.” He went to the tree and set the bag down. The kids all surrounded it, making lots of ooh and ahh noises. Apparently it was taking everything they had not to dive into the bag and dig through.
“Uh, yeah…” Mindy glanced around the room before she clapped her hands, summoning the children. “Hey you guys, let’s go to the kitchen for a few minutes and let your mom and Chris talk in private.”
“But I wanna open the presents,” Logan wailed. Sophia started to whimper right along with him.
“They’re not going anywhere. I promise,” Chris said and the children silently, reluctantly headed toward the kitchen with their aunt.
“Captain Nelson? Will you stay for dinner?” Lexi asked.
Chris’s expression softened and he nodded, his gaze turning to look at Jane. “I will if your mom doesn’t mind.”
Meeting his gaze, in that moment, the pain of not having Chris in her life superseded her fears, her worries. He’d become such a part of her, she literally ached from missing him. If Jane had her way, he’d stay with her family forever.
She could only hope he felt the same.
It had taken what felt like a million self–pep talks for Chris to actually work up the nerve and come over to Jane’s house.
Besides the constant pain he was in, which had mellowed to a dull yet steady ache, his broken ribs still made it hard to breathe and his entire body was bruised and scratched.
But it was worth the pain to see her again.
The gifts for the children were just an excuse.
He’d bought them before the accident, and he’d planned on giving them to the kids regardless.
Regardless of the fact that their mother had run out on him when he’d been laid up in a hospital bed, half out of it on pain meds and in absolute agony.
His cracked ribs had ached like a bitch.
Hell, at that moment, his entire body had throbbed, even hopped up on pain medication.
But he’d taken one look at Jane’s face when he found her standing over his bed and knew she’d been that close to losing it.
And boy, had she lost it. A major meltdown had been more like it.
She’d run out of that hospital room, never to be heard from again.
That had hurt, more than he cared to admit.
Especially when they’d confessed their love to each other just hours before.
But it had also felt like she gave him a dose of his own medicine.
Hadn’t he been the one to run out on her first?
So he’d been angry—both with Jane and with himself—and he’d sulked. Confused, sad, he’d experienced all sorts of emotions in a matter of days.
And then he’d realized he’d be a damn fool to just let her go without a fight. He knew he had to see her, talk to her. He might end up looking stupid and he might get dumped for good, but he had to give it at least one more shot.
She stood before him now, fidgety, shifting from one foot to the other. Looking fragile, unsure of what to say or do. And despite everything, he wanted to make it easy on her. There was no need to put the both of them through this any longer.
Jane was, after all, the woman he loved. The woman he wanted to marry and spend a lifetime with.
“Christian.” She cleared her throat and stood up straighter, as if gathering strength. “You must hate me.”
Her broken voice broke his heart. “I could never hate you.”
“Well.” She sniffed and shook her head. “What I did to you, how I reacted, was uncalled for. Saying I’m sorry could never make how I acted right. I know this. I only hope that someday, you might forgive me.”
“Jane.” He waved at the couch. “Let’s sit down.”
Chris took those few extra seconds to gather his thoughts. He also let what she’d just said sink in. He needed to hear that apology, but he also wanted her to admit why she’d freaked out so badly in the hospital. He needed her to come clean, for him. And for herself.
“I can’t lie to you, Jane.” He sat close to her, so close their knees bumped and he reached out, grabbing her hands and holding them in his own. “My job is dangerous. You’ve had to face that in the worst way so quickly, and I hate that. But it’s my reality.”
“I know.” She nodded, giving a little sniff as if she were near tears. God, he really didn’t want her to cry. “You’re right.”
“If we’re going to make this work, you have to understand the dangers of my job.
But there are dangers in every job. They’re everywhere.
You can’t live your entire life in fear of what might happen.
” He squeezed her slender hands, so small, so cold in his big, warm ones.
“You have to let go and trust that everything’s going to be okay. ”
He was asking a lot of her. She’d done that with her late husband and look what happened.
Maybe Chris asked for too much.
“It’s hard,” she admitted. “So much has happened…I didn’t know if I could handle something else. I’m so sorry. Can you forgive me for being scared?”
“Yes, of course. But I need you to know that I’m going to be okay. I need you to stand by me no matter what. Can you believe that we’re going to be okay?” He drew her closer, so tempted to kiss her. But not yet. “Believe in us, Jane.”
Jane nodded, the movement so subtle he almost didn’t see it, and then she was reaching for him, leaning in close, her lips poised and ready for his. He took advantage, kissing her, showing her how much he loved her, missed her.
Needed her.
He needed her ready-made family, too. He’d grown to love her children. They made him smile, made him frustrated, made him proud. It wouldn’t always be an easy road, but he was prepared.
For everything.
“I love you, Jane,” Chris whispered against her lips. “I don’t want to imagine my life without you any longer.”
“I love you, too.” Jane opened her eyes and stared up at him in wonder. She still couldn’t believe he was here, looking at her with so much love shining in his beautiful eyes. He was ready to forgive her so easily because he loved her that much.
And she loved him, too. So much. It was a miracle he could forgive her so quickly. She was so thankful. More than anything, she was ready to forget living in fear and embrace living in the now, with Chris and her children surrounding her.
Chris dipped his head, his mouth so close it touched hers as he spoke. “So I can count on you to stick around?”
She deserved his doubt, after what she did. “Only if you’ll let me.”
“Absolutely.” He smiled, the sight of it making her skin tingle. “So what’s on the agenda tonight?”
How easily he fit into their lives. She loved it, loved him. “Tacos for dinner. Early bedtime because, trust me, we’ll be getting up extra early tomorrow.”
He grimaced. “Tacos? Is that some sort of family tradition?”
She laughed. “It’s a new tradition I started this year.”
“Interesting.”
“The kids and Mindy reacted the same way.”
“I’m sure it’ll be great.” He gathered her close, pressing a kiss to her cheek, her lips, his mouth lingering on hers. How she loved his positive attitude. He made her feel like she could do no wrong.
He suddenly pulled away, his eyes dark, his expression serious. “Jane, I—”
Her children burst into the room, Logan yelling for his Christmas gift. Lexi sent Chris a shy smile and Sophia turned circles in the green velvet dress Mindy had just put her in.
“Are you ready for this?” Jane asked after Logan had tackled Chris around his legs and nearly sent him sprawling.
“I think so.” He grinned.
“When can we open our Christmas gifts from you?” Logan yelled yet again, and Chris sent Jane a heated look. One that said he’d be unwrapping her much later that evening.
“I—I didn’t get you anything.” Her heart sank as it dawned on her. She’d planned to buy him a gift but had no clue what to get. When she went to the mall with Chloe, she hadn’t found anything special enough.
And after she’d had her meltdown at the hospital, she didn’t think he’d want anything from her anyway.
“Sweetheart, I already have my Christmas gift. You. The kids. All of you are my gifts.” Chris drew her down onto the floor so she settled in his lap, in his arms. “You’re everything I need.”
Jane clung to him, her hands curling around his broad shoulders. “You’re everything I need, too.”
And when he kissed her, held her close to his steadily beating heart, she knew he’d always be there for her.
No matter what.