16 #3
She took in a deep breath, wondering if she was ready to be that honest. Still, it was better than getting hurt.
“The truth is that I know what it feels like to love someone who doesn’t love you back, Marcus.
Been there. Done that. Don’t ever want to do it again.
” There, she’d said it, laid it out there—take it or leave it, like it or not, it was the truth.
“Huh?” Marcus looked confused.
“You asked me to be honest. That’s just what I’m doing.”
“Can you explain it a bit more? I’m not quite following you.”
“You see, my ex-husband pulled me in with his charm and good looks. I fell for him. But less than two years after we got married, he cheated on me. He broke my heart, leaving me to pick up the pieces. And trust me, even though our marriage ended a couple years ago, there are still a lot of pieces.”
“I think he sounds like a big jerk.”
She smiled sadly. “Pretty much so.”
“But you still love him?”
“No way!” She firmly shook her head. “Not at all.”
“Then I’m confused. What are you really saying here?”
“I’m saying that I’ve learned the hard way to be careful with my heart.”
Marcus slowly nodded, as if the light was starting to come on. “And you’re worried that I might hurt you somehow? Like your ex did?”
“No, not exactly. I’m more afraid that I might hurt myself.”
“How so?”
She took in another deep breath, closing her eyes.
Was she a fool to be this honest with a man she barely knew?
A man she was strangely attracted to and wanted to know better?
Maybe it was stupid to risk everything like this.
But he’d asked for honesty. And she knew what was going on inside her.
The way she’d felt last night in the RV, the way she’d felt at breakfast this morning. The way she felt right now.
Miranda knew that she was on thin ice. But she opened her eyes, looking directly into his.
“I’d be risking a lot of hurt to accept your invitation, Marcus.
Spending more time with you, maybe even falling for you .
. . then finding out that you’d only brought me home to entertain your daughter for Christmas.
I just can’t let myself go through that.
” She felt her eyes growing moist. Please, no tears, she told herself. Be strong. “I can’t do it.”
“Miranda,” he said softly. “I would never do that to you.” Now he reached over and grasped her hand, looking right into her eyes. “I realize you barely know me, but I’m not that kind of guy. I’m really not.”
She returned his gaze, almost afraid to breathe.
“The truth is, I haven’t been with anyone since Gillian’s death. I mean, I’ve had a date or two—set up by well-meaning friends—but I haven’t had real feelings for a woman.” He leaned closer. “Not until I saw you.”
“Huh?” She blinked in disbelief.
“Yesterday I walked into my house—which looked nothing like my house, I might add—and I saw this beautiful woman, looking a lot like Santa’s elf in a sparkly green top and radiant wavy red hair, baking cookies with Emily in my kitchen.
” His eyes twinkled. “You took my breath away, Miranda. And that’s the truth. ”
“Really?” She let out a little gasp, but then remembered something. “Then why were you so harsh yesterday? You were so angry at me. It felt terrible.”
He made a sheepish smile. “I think it was because I felt so confused. Here this woman has invaded my home, she’s with my daughter and trying to shake up my world.
That in itself was maddening. But at the same time I’m totally attracted to her.
That just made me mad at myself. And I guess I took it out on you. ”
“I guess I can understand that. And you did apologize.” She took in a deep steadying breath. “Still, this is all so sudden. It feels like my head is spinning.”
“I understand.” He nodded. “And if you need character references—I can get them for you. I want to reassure you that I’m not some kind of disingenuous cad.
Talk to Camilla and Stan if you want.” He waved his hand.
“Or anyone in this town. A lot of my friends think I’m a real stick-in-the-mud.
And I’m hopelessly old-fashioned. I do not go around asking women to spend the holidays in my home.
Seriously, I can hardly believe it myself.
But I just can’t bear to let you go, Miranda. ”
Miranda felt a little light-headed. “You can’t?”
“I give you my word of honor,” he said, holding up his hand like he was taking a pledge.
“So will you please reconsider our invitation? I’m sorry I didn’t present it better in the first place.
It was cowardly to put it all on Emily. I obviously want you to join us for Christmas even more than she does. Please, say you will, Miranda.”
“I think I’d like . . . well, I’d love to,” she said quietly.
He leaned forward, gently holding her face in his hands, and tenderly kissed her forehead. Now she really felt even more dizzy. But despite the icy wind and the snowflakes starting to swirl all around them, she felt warm and cozy inside.