Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
We returned home from our foraging with several sprigs of pine from different parts of the trees, as well as a small bagful of sweet chestnuts. No one else was around, so we went to the kitchen and started on our syrups.
‘I hope Coco won’t mind us raiding the cupboards,’ I said, hunting around for what we required. ‘We need an awful lot of sugar.’
‘I’ll text her,’ said Alexander, ‘and if she’s near a shop, she can pick up some more; otherwise, I’ll pop out later and restock anything she needs urgently. I was going to take Theo to the cinema this afternoon anyway. What are you up to?’
I wasn’t sure if this was an invitation, but I wouldn’t have been able to accept it anyway.
‘It’s the next phase of Mum’s “return Fallon to wellness” scheme. Although I have to confess that I’m looking forward to this one. There’s a woman in York who does special holistic massages and they do sound amazing – all scented oils and being wrapped up in cocooning towels.’
He laughed.
‘Whatever floats your boat. Is she sharing it all with her social media following?’
‘Oh, absolutely. The caring mother angle is one she hasn’t exploited before – on social media or anywhere else – so her fans adore this new side of her and she’s also getting plenty of attention from the wellness brigade. A couple of magazines have been in touch about doing articles on it, so she’s very pleased with herself.’
‘What about you?’
I measured some sugar into a saucepan.
‘I suppose you would say “it’s complicated”. I can’t pretend I’m not enjoying these little pockets of time with her and, if I’m honest, being the focus of her attention, even if I know that her motives go far beyond helping me. She’s different when she’s not working on Mayfair Mews , and I don’t think she’s ever taken so much time off before. Your dad must be having a positive influence.’
‘He’s a good guy.’
‘Anyway, sorry for going on about myself. Shall we add the water to this?’
Alexander put down the jug he was about to fill and put both hands on my shoulders. I looked up at him awkwardly, not sure what he was doing.
‘Fallon, please don’t apologise for talking about yourself. I’m interested, and you’re not “going on”. It seems to me that you spend an awful lot of time doing things for other people; maybe you should talk about yourself more.’
I blushed and looked away.
‘I’m not doing things for other people – it’s just work, normally.’
‘I know I’ve only known you for a few days, but I see it differently. You may not be in some traditional caring profession, but your work is all about making people happy. And since you’ve been here, as I said before, you’ve reached out to several of us, helping us. You may dress it up as “just work”, but I see a very caring and selfless woman.’
I wriggled away from him and gave a slightly strangled laugh.
‘Maybe I should get a flowery apron, after all,’ I joked, but rather than laughing, he sighed.
‘I don’t mean it like that.’
I dragged my eyes up to meet his again.
‘I know you don’t, sorry. Thank you, it was a nice thing to say. Come on, let’s make these syrups or we’ll run out of time.’
We got back to work, and I ruminated as I watched the bubbling sugary water. What Alexander had said, although clearly meant to be complimentary, had made me feel very uncomfortable. Secretly I knew that there was a nurturing side to me, one that got immense pleasure from looking after and helping others, but if I could explain it away as ‘just doing my job’, it made it more palatable. If it was work, then mistakes could be absorbed as part of the process, and although I cared greatly about my clients and their happiness, I didn’t make myself vulnerable by loving them. My reverie was sharply interrupted.
‘Fallon! It’s boiling over!’
I quickly turned off the heat and whipped the saucepan away, smiling wryly. For all my pretences, I couldn’t even look after a pan of syrup!
Douglas and Mum arrived home with Theo shortly after we had both our fragrant syrups steeping. Theo was full of his morning at the sanctuary, and I was going to leave him to tell Alexander about it, when he stopped me.
‘Fallon, don’t you want to hear about my morning? I want to tell you about the amazing falcon I saw, right up close.’
Surprised, and not a little flattered, I sat down and listened while he described his visit. I looked around at the faces smiling at Theo as he chattered on; even Mum had a fond smile on her face, and I don’t think I’ve seen one of those since she lent the Victoria the more I looked at him, the more I happily drowned and made none of my usual efforts to strike out for the safety of the surface. He reached across the small table and took my hand, which lay on the smooth leather arm of the chair. As if they were separate from the rest of me, my fingers turned to lace themselves between his, and he rubbed his thumb gently against my hand. Every part of my body was now yearning to be closer to him, to be held, to be kissed, and surely that would have been what happened next, had the door to the oratory not opened fractionally, and a little figure slipped in, breaking the mood.
‘Runcible!’ I gasped, laughing. ‘How did you find us?’ I scooped her onto my lap and kissed her balding head. ‘That must mean Theo has gone to bed then.’
‘Your tiny chaperone,’ said Alexander, grinning ruefully. ‘Ah well, at least she won’t stop us having another drink. Shall we try the sweet chestnut syrup this time?’
‘Why not?’ I said, holding out my glass, then settling into my chair to enjoy the rest of an evening that remained chaste, but with a spark in the atmosphere that put more of a spring in my step when I eventually went upstairs to bed than any of Mum’s wellness solutions had so far managed.