Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
The next morning, I woke early, dressed quickly and took Runcible out for a run before anyone else was up – other than Coco, of course, who seemed to keep the most bizarre hours, yet never appear tired. I greeted her, then togged up and went outside. I breathed in the misty morning air and decided to take the path down to see Heathcliff the donkey, thinking as I went how I was already getting used to being here: the cold, yes, but also the peace and stillness, the mere idea of which would have sent me into a panic when I was in the whirl of my busy life in London. Ah well , I thought , it will probably wear off soon, and I’ll be glad to get back to the capital and the buzz of work . The donkey was out of his cosy shelter and came over to see us. I rubbed his head and ears and smiled when he bent low to gently greet Runcible.
‘Sorry I haven’t got anything for you,’ I said to him, ‘but I’m sure Theo or Constance or Alexander will be along soon enough with your breakfast.’
Alexander. He had entered my dreams more than once last night, and memories of the intense gaze between us, the intertwined fingers, the delicious contemplation of what might have happened next, came flooding back and with it a flush of heat to my face that was welcome on that freezing morning. As we turned to go back to the house, I hoped fervently that Mum wouldn’t notice if there was any change in atmosphere between Alexander and me. She had a tendency to be remarkably observant over things you would prefer that she missed – whether you were eating or not eating, if you liked someone or had had a falling out with them, if your skin looked bad. Whereas you could be having a proper crisis over something serious, and she would sail on, oblivious. Or maybe it was just what she chose to bring attention to, rather than the thing itself; for all her declared wisdom and life experience, she has always found it challenging to talk about the important things, those that couldn’t be fixed with a face cream, cocktail or magazine multiple choice quiz. I sighed. Oh well, maybe I would manage to lie low and avoid her embarrassing comments and attempts to winkle out the truth. There was also always a chance that the electricity that had crackled between Alexander and me last night would have fizzled out by now, so there would be nothing to notice anyway. Let’s hope that’s the case , I told myself unconvincingly as we approached the house; any entanglement with Alexander would be at best fun, but pointless. We both knew that.
I gave Runcible her breakfast, then helped Coco take through some trays to the Buttery. Everyone was there and I risked a glance at Alexander, who gave me a warm and spine-tingling smile that nearly made me drop what I was carrying. Okay, so no fizzling out , I thought, sneaking a sideways glance at Mum to see if she had noticed and was arching an eyebrow already. But no, to my relief, she was too busy gazing at Douglas like a lovesick puppy. I slid quietly into my chair and was just offering Constance some coffee when Douglas stood up. He cleared his throat.
‘Er, good morning, everyone.’
We all returned a muttered ‘good morning’ and he continued:
‘I – that is, Jacqueline and I – are delighted to tell you that as of last night we are engaged to be married.’
That woke us all up, and we clapped and offered our congratulations as the happy couple beamed. Mum drew her left hand out from underneath the table and showed us the ring, which was huge but very pretty with an oval-shaped diamond in the middle, surrounded by smaller, pink stones.
‘They’re pink sapphires,’ gushed Mum, making sure we all had a good look. ‘Isn’t it wonderfully thoughtful of Douglas? I think I’ll have to speak to Alan at Mayfair Mews and ask him to write in an engagement for Ophelia.’ She broke off and turned to Theo. ‘That’s the name of the character I play. I don’t think I can bear ever to take it off.’
‘What number engagement will that be for Ophelia?’ I asked, grinning. ‘Seven, eight, nine?’
Mum shot me a look across the table.
‘She’s a very desirable and passionate woman. And this may be my first engagement, darling, but only because it’s the first proposal of many that I have accepted.’ Now came the head tilt, and I braced myself. ‘How many have you racked up, darling?’
I briefly toyed with the idea of inventing a proposal or two – after all, she had been so uninvolved in my life that I could easily have had hordes of suitors of whom she was ignorant – but decided that the truth was good enough for me.
‘None, Mum, and that’s fine by me. But I’m so happy for you and Douglas. I suppose it’s too soon to talk about dates and venues and so on?’
I have had a great deal of practice in deflecting attention from myself onto Mum and it worked like a charm, as always.
‘Well, we haven’t got quite so far as picking a date or a venue yet, but we would like to celebrate our happy news as soon as possible. We thought that we could squeeze in an engagement party between the Nativity and the Christmas Fayre. I know everyone’s frightfully busy, but I’m sure you could all make an exception for something so special.’
I frowned, confused by her wording.
‘What do you mean?’
She glanced at Douglas, who had the grace to look guilty but didn’t have a chance to speak as she fired up her steamroller again.
‘Well, the thing is, darling, the people who normally do Douglas’s parties – who did the marvellous Bond one – are chock-a-block. So, I – we – thought you wouldn’t mind putting something together? It won’t be huge, only about fifty people, and obviously we’ll do it here, so that’s the venue sorted,’ she added brightly.
A jolt of dizziness overwhelmed my head, and for a moment it was the physical symptoms that preoccupied me. Was I going to faint? I was hot and my heart was racing. It took a few seconds before the cool inner voice I have finally learned to let in came drifting across the panic. Breathe, Fallon, breathe. Trying not to gasp for air – partly because it didn’t particularly help and partly because anything that looked too dramatic would instantly be interpreted by my mother as attention-seeking in the face of her limelight – I managed to count my breaths in and out until my jangled body calmed down and the adrenaline seeped away. I glanced furtively around the table. Mum had moved on, assuming my lack of reply as agreement, and was yakking to Douglas about colour schemes. Everyone else was looking at me with some concern, even Theo. It was Constance, sitting next to me, who put her hand on my shoulder and said quietly:
‘Are you all right, Fallon? Do you want to go outside for a breath of air?’
I shook my head and smiled shakily.
‘I’m okay, thank you.’ I turned to Mum and spoke more loudly, interrupting her ruminations over whether baby pink was too girlish for the more mature bride. ‘Mum, Douglas, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can arrange your party.’
My mother’s head whipped around.
‘What on earth do you mean?’
A feeling of nausea crept into my stomach, but I breathed it away.
‘You brought me up here to rest. I really, really need to have a break. I know I’m helping Alexander, and I am enjoying it, but that workload is tiny compared to organising a last-minute engagement party for fifty people – especially, Mum, when you are the bride.’
‘Whatever do you mean?’
I hated myself for the cold feeling of fear that was creeping into my veins; I was a grown woman, but still scared of her and of that tone of voice. But I gathered my courage, injected my own voice with soothing tones and continued:
‘It’s not a criticism, but you are very particular – a perfectionist. I don’t mind working with clients like that, but the timescale just isn’t long enough to deliver what I know you would want.’
‘Rubbish, I would be perfectly happy with a relaxed gathering.’
I nearly snorted with derision, but managed to turn it into a cough. My mother has never been happy with a relaxed anything. I soldiered on.
‘Even if that were true, who are you going to invite? All your friends are in London. Don’t you want them to celebrate with you? Why don’t you have the party down there after Christmas?’
I was pleased with this idea, not least because I would be able to palm the planning off on someone else – I was aware that it was only my availability that had made Mum ask me this time. I wasn’t nearly fancy enough for her in normal circumstances. Unfortunately, she waved my suggestion away.
‘No, no. Douglas has lots of people up here he can ask, and it would be the perfect opportunity for me to meet them if they couldn’t make the Bond party. There will be plenty who are curious to get to know the future Lady Knight.’ I fought to keep a straight face. Of course, she was going to be lady of the manor. ‘Anyway, this will just be the first of our celebrations. Obviously, we’ll have something in London as well, in the New Year, won’t we, Douglas?’
Finally, he spoke up.
‘Yes, we can do that…but Fallon, I am worried about you. After all, as you said, you are our guest here and you need to rest and recover.’ He turned to Mum. ‘Jacqueline, I’m sure we could find someone else.’
Mum pouted and allowed tears to spring to her eyes.
‘We won’t, though,’ she whispered, dabbing at her eye with a corner of her napkin. ‘I don’t know why you’re not happier for us, Fallon, I would have thought it would be your pleasure to put a little something together for us, to celebrate our joy. All you would need to do is sort out some drinks, maybe some music, a photographer from one of the better magazines to pop in. Décor might be difficult, I suppose, with everyone so busy, but we can’t be defeatist…’
She trailed off and looked around at us pathetically. It was Alexander who tried next.
‘Jacqueline, of course we’re all delighted for you and Dad, but a special party like this would be a big ask. I was already worried about squeezing in time to decorate the house for Christmas.’ He turned to Theo, who had looked up from the book he was now reading in preference to listening to our conversation. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll definitely make time to do the house.’ Theo grinned and returned to his book, satisfied, but Mum clapped her hands in delight.
‘Oh, Alexander! You are wonderful!’
‘I am?’ He looked at her suspiciously.
‘To offer to sort out the decoration. That’s the part I was really worried about, but you’ve solved it, you clever thing!’
‘That’s not what I—’ He attempted to interrupt, but I could have told him that was a fool’s errand. Mum was full steam ahead now.
‘And I just know that you’ll want to help Fallon, seeing as she’s given you so much help – of course you will – so really, darling’ – she turned to me, now – ‘it will be a tiny little bit of nothing, just a few phone calls, and I would be so grateful.’ I went to speak, but she hadn’t finished. ‘It’s been so lovely seeing you and Alexander working so beautifully together, it would probably be a pleasure for you to have an extra little project.’
She gave me a catlike smile; she could continue on this theme, if she chose. So more to shut her up than anything, I capitulated.
‘All right! I’ll put something together, but it will be small and simple.’
‘With a magazine photographer?’
‘I’ll see what I can do.’
I put my head in my hands. For now, she had to be satisfied with that.