29. Chapter 29 #3
“And now we have some fucking undead-looking soldiers within Loamil borders on top of this blight?” We had shared with her all that we’d encountered—all but the parts of Fernwick that brought me shame.
“Well, I think that is enough for now, until we have food in us. It’s time for dinner, and you five have traveled quite the distance.
Let me show you to your rooms where you can have a proper cleaning before a proper meal.
I doubt Beralt knew how to be a half-witted host. I’ll see to it that you all have fresh clothes as well.
” Paige turned to eye Fyom with a sarcastic brow.
“And I guess I’ll see if we have enough material lying around to clothe the mountain. ”
“I know you still have a set of my clothes here, Pip. If not mine then I know Uriah’s are here, if he visits so regularly.” This was the first time Fyom had mentioned the name of one of his sons. I put that information in my back pocket for later.
“Pip?” Sury asked, looking between Fyom and Paige.
“For Pipsqueak, since she’s so small!” Fyom laughed, earning him a swift hit on the shoulder from his sister.
“I’ll start calling you fossil if you keep that old nickname up.”
“I’m only eight years your senior. If I’m old then you’re old.”
“Neither of you know the definition of old,” Peiro huffed from his seat. The two siblings snickered like school children.
“So you know?” I asked pointedly to Paige.
She gave a small, sad smile. “I know enough, and that’s all I wanted to know so I could not be collateral. Now, let’s get you all cleaned and fed.” The others followed her as she began a tour of her home.
The thought uncurled uneasily in my chest. Paige knew enough about Peiro that would make it dangerous if it were known.
Did my parents know too? Had they always known?
I couldn’t decide which was worse—that they had known and they’d kept it from Ora to protect her, or that they simply hadn’t cared enough to warn her.
Warn us. She had been trained since her adolescence about how to rule, how to lead a nation, but had they chosen not to share about the pending threat from in the darkness?
Anger stirred within me. Betrayal for my sister ripped through my chest, stealing my breath. Betrayal for me, that they couldn’t bother to leave anything behind to warn us of the dangers outside the kingdom, let alone the dangers within our own walls.
My fingers curled in tightly as I fought to keep them from shaking.
The muscles along my neck and back grew tense and my vision hazed, barely noticing that the room was empty.
The back of my throat turned dry, making it hard to swallow, as I clenched my jaw with such force that I was sure my teeth were bound to crack.
How could my parents, who swore they loved us, have been so ruthless toward their own daughters? If they were still here, I would—
“Hey,” said a deep voice beside me. My vision cleared away the gray as I blinked and took in my surroundings. I don’t remember when I moved from the couch to the windows.
Not again. My breath held, refusing to leave or fill my lungs.
I looked down at my intertwined fingers, seeing the light of my Wielding pulsing against the surface and the illicitus that wanted to break free and claim. To tear through the home and feed on the ecstasy I wanted to taste.
NO! I need to control this. I can’t let it—
A rough, warm hand gently grabbed hold of mine, sending a jolt through my body right when the intruder hissed in pain and clutched my hand harder. “Come back to me,” he said with a strained breath.
I whirled to find Peiro clenching his jaw as his grip tightened around mine, the muscles clamping down hard. His eyes were shut, as though he held through some invincible pain.
The illicitus.
No! I gasped at the horror of what I had done. What I was doing.
“Peiro!” I called for my Wielding to return to me and reabsorbed my power as my rage was simultaneously quenched. The moment my power was gone, I felt Peiro’s grip soften. “I’m so sorry!”
“I’m alright,” he grunted.
“But—”
“I’m alright, Ophelia.” His gray eyes burned intensely. The faint silver ring around his wide pupils glowed. He was losing the battle that I was pushing him to fight.
I shook my head and pulled my hand to give him distance, but he only clasped it tighter.
“Moonlight, I will be fine as long as you come back to me.”
A sob escaped me at his words. How could he have such strong devotion when I clearly was not in control?
When I was hurting him in ways I’d never imagined?
When my very magic was now a threat to us all?
To call on my power was to risk calling the beast. And how could I face everyone if I released that kind of destruction again?
His hand continued squeezing mine as the other found the side of my neck, tilting my face up toward his. “I know your war, Naa’n le’ya, and I have not found blame in you. You, too, must release this condemnation. It is not yourself that you fight but the evils in your mind.”
Peiro’s lips softly crested mine in the most tender kiss he had ever given me. Tender, confirming that he still saw me, even as I was becoming a monster.