30. Chapter 30
We were shown to our rooms to rest before the dinner Paige insisted upon.
I wasted no time taking a bath to wash off not only the muck that coated every inch of me, but the remorse I felt I could never scrub completely away.
Bath salts and soaps littered the small table beside me and my skin grew pink from how hard I tried to wash away what felt like pieces of my soul.
My body was clean, but my heart still felt soiled.
The bathing chamber was spacious and probably half the size of the room Paige had given us, with a large oval tub that could bathe ten grown adults in its center. Out of the large window, the sun sat heavy in the sky, casting a deep orange glow against the coming night.
YYou had the power in your hands and yet you squander it. The ink became more present the longer I sat in the water. Stop acting like you’re brainless. Take what is yours! Do you not realize what kind of power is in your veins? Why Thuvina herself is feared?
“I don’t want to be feared,” I whispered to myself, pulling my knees toward my chest and wrapping my arms around them tightly. “I want everything to go back to the way it was.”
The way it was? Are you daft? Your soul might be made from the shadows, but you will not hide in them. An involuntary jerk of my spine powered through me, briefly calling my Wielding to flash. Rise up and command him…
“No.” My jaw hurt from how hard I clenched my teeth, fighting for control of my own body.
“You don’t get to dictate me.” My heart rate spiked, threatening to steal the breath from my lungs until I finally found air.
My knuckles turned white, my fingers interlocked.
I forced them underwater as if I could drown the cursed magic.
A maddening laughter echoed inside of my head.
I squeezed my eyes tight as I tried to push the sound to the far depths of my mind.
A sudden knock on the bathroom door pulled me from my thoughts, the laughter and my Wielding disappearing with them.
“Are you alright?” Peiro called from the other side.
“Oh. Uhm. Yes. I’ll be out in a minute!” I said over my shoulder, desperately trying to control my ragged breathing.
As soon as the words left my lips, Peiro barged through the door. My breath hitched as I noticed the intensity of his gaze. “Heartbeat, moonlight. Heart. Beat.” I quickly turned back around and locked my eyes on the water and weakening bubbles.
“I just wanted to sit here a moment longer before getting ready…” I whispered. It wasn’t a lie; not really. Paige had inquired about Fernwick, but I wasn’t sure how I could face her, Ora, or any of them.
Peiro moved to my side. I sensed him rummaging through the vials of soaps before settling beside me. He ran a lazy finger through the water and tsked. “It’s already cold. Wield it to be warmer.”
“But I’ve already—”
“Warmer. Now,” he rasped. I rolled my eyes and called onto my Firus, warming the water to a soothing heat. “Good girl.” My cheeks warmed as I smirked. Peiro unclipped the clasp in my hair and let it fall into the water. “Now, tilt your head back.”
I did as I was told and let my hair fall down in waves.
Silently, he scooped a pitcher of water and carefully poured it onto my head, wetting the strands.
A moment later, I heard the clinking of glass and a floral smell—jasmine.
I smiled at the memory, those many moons ago, of Peiro stating I reminded him of jasmine and moonlight.
How anyone could smell like moonlight was beyond me, but I chose not to argue when he insisted.
His fingers worked the soap into my hair, gently massaging my scalp.
My eyes drooped at the relief and comfortable silence.
It was magical in itself, how much tension his fingertips released from my body.
“Who were you talking to?” Peiro whispered as he rinsed the suds from my hair.
There was no sense in hiding the truth from him. “Just to myself and the voice in my head.” I laughed at how it sounded like nonsense when said out loud. “They seem like they’ve been whispering to me for as long as I can remember. Maybe I’ve been steadily going insane all along.”
“Hmph. We do that too, from time to time.”
We. I closed my eyes to hold back the guilt of pushing him toward losing control.
More silence swirled around us, only being interrupted by the pouring of water to rinse the suds.
I felt his hand twirl my wet hair into a coil and tug, pulling my head back just enough to meet his gaze above me.
I took in the gray and silvering swirls of his irises.
My heart ached anew as I desperately missed the deep brown colors.
“Does it hurt?” I whispered. I wasn’t sure why I even asked. Was it to find relief or relish more in my guilt?
Peiro looked at me inquisitively. “Does what hurt?”
I fumbled with my lip as I tried to find the words. “When your eyes take on the silver and your speech changes, does it hurt when its presence grows stronger?”
“Stop.” His harsh word caused me to lightly jump.
He must have seen the dread on my face because his eyes instantly softened.
“Don’t punish yourself with this guilt you feel.
You did not do this to me, Ophelia. You did not ask for the Wielding to be broken and shattered, let alone to inherit Thuvina’s ability.
” Peiro stopped and looked at me deeply, his eyes searching.
“When we…” He released a ragged exhale. “When I look into your eyes or hear your heartbeat, I forget all about the pain.”
My lips wobbled with emotion. Peiro leaned down, pulling my hair just a bit more to expose my neck, where he planted a trail of kisses from the hollow of my throat up to my jaw before adding more along my cheeks and temple. He let go of my hair and sat on a stool beside the tub.
“I know you worry about telling Ora about your Wielding, but your sister is much stronger than all of Gria gives her credit for. Dokvolon even fails to realize the weapon in her arsenal.” He hesitated, causing me to look up into his eyes.
I assumed he was referring to the Ancient One.
“They do not realize the strength in you. The power you have. The force you can be. Together, you two are something that the books have never heard of.”
I closed my eyes to take in his words. “I’m scared,” I whispered, more to myself than to him.
“Good,” he replied. “It means you still have humanity.”
“And you don’t?” I scoffed.
“In the moments you give me freedom, I do,” he began. “But when it starts to take over? No. No, I don’t have a shred of humanity.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He took a hand and ran his finger through my hair. “Because I think you see something in me that I fail to see.”
“Hmm. We seem like two peas in a pod, as some would say.”
“I can think of many things I like that you might enjoy just the same.” Peiro’s mischievous smile warmed my body.
I gave him a small splash of water, earning a yelp, before he lifted me out of the tub altogether.
***
A maid dropped off fresh clothes, leaving a pile of dresses and stylish tunics across the couch of our given room.
Well, the room was the size of a small apartment, complete with its own bathing chamber and walk-in closet.
Peiro bathed as I rummaged through the hangers, exhausted at seeing all of the finery when I wanted a simple tunic and leggings.
While Paige wasn’t one for formalities in the way we greeted one another, she still upheld the propriety for dinner attire.
I sighed and chose a deep blue tunic that was soft to the touch.
The body clung to my curves and helped silhouette my hips and breasts.
The bust and sleeves held navy beads in a swirl of patterns that reminded me of clouds at nighttime.
Thankfully there were a pair of black leggings that felt buttery smooth and accentuated my assets appropriately.
I easily Wielded Airus to dry my hair so I could pin back my hair, leaving the delicate beadwork on display.
I had just stuck in the last pin when I spotted Peiro in the vanity mirror, exiting the bathing room.
A dark dusting of chest hair descended his body and disappeared under the towel that was loosely fastened around his defined waist.
I gulped, licking my lips as my eyes tracked his movements and the muscles that flexed with each step.
He combed back his hair away from his face as it dried, allowing me a full view of the now groomed scruff along his chin and jawline.
I studied the swirls of his tattoos in the light as he walked over to the couch to shift through the given attire, finding perfectly plain clothes. The bastard, I mused to myself.
Schoolgirls were probably less silly than what I felt as I watched him dress.
Foolishly I tried to memorize every line of his body and the way each muscle moved as he donned a plain white tunic.
The material hugged his form, sleeves tightly stretched over his shoulders.
His black pants were fitted across his large legs and fell into a pair of black boots.
His eyes were bright against the dark blue hue of the doublet he’d picked, which happened to match the color of my own tunic.
A faint heat rose, but I forced myself to tear my gaze away the moment he turned around.
I fiddled with the pins on the vanity desk as he walked back toward the bathing chamber.
Peiro stopped suddenly in his tracks. “I forgot something,” he said out loud, presumingly to himself, before he pivoted toward where I sat.
In the blink of an eye, he kneeled beside me and took my face in his palms, planting a deep kiss on my lips, his tongue asking for entry.
The moment I let him in, his tongue danced greedily with mine.
He pulled back just enough to speak, his lips brushing against mine with every word as he said, “Did you enjoy the show?”
My cheeks turned red. “What show?”
“The show you were ogling.”