54. Liv
Liv
Theo, Grandma Ella, and I sat around her dining room table, staring at my laptop’s screen. Susi’s results had come back a couple of days before, and Will had uploaded them to Ancestry. Now, all we had to do was find the courage to open this email.
My hand went to the pendant around my neck, as it so often did these days. It had become a touchstone, a way for me to center myself in times of stress. And, as so often happened when I did that, Theo’s gaze softened, as if he couldn’t believe his luck.
I wanted to tell him that I was the lucky one.
Over the past few weeks, when things had been so rocky with my parents, he’d stood by me just like he promised.
He’d picked up Chloe when I had to work late and had dinner waiting when I got home, my “hand me the tea towel of oppression” apron around his waist and a streak of sauce on his cheek.
I wanted to tell him that he’d finally made my kitchen a home, just like I’d always dreamed of.
That I was grateful for him, every day. But instead, I drew a deep breath. “Ready?” I said.
Grandma Ella nodded, and Theo’s hand tightened on mine. I clicked and braced myself for a revelation, but all the email said was, “Your results are in!” with a link. Taking an even tighter grip on Theo’s hand, I clicked through to Ancestry’s site, and then to “Your DNA.”
The room went silent. I could hear the three of us breathing, and in the kitchen, the sound of Chloe’s laughter as Ruth distracted her with a baking adventure. But here, where Theo, my grandma, and I sat, time slowed, the air wavering as my vision blurred.
I blinked once, then again. But the image was still there.
It was a pie chart, labeled ‘Ethnicity Estimate,’ almost entirely a bright, vibrant green. And to the right of it were the words: 99.7% European Jewish.
“Oh my god,” I said, just as Theo managed a choked, “Holy mother.”
My hand shook on the trackpad as I clicked on the tab that read, ‘DNA matches.’ And there it was, under ‘Close Family’: Susi Dressler, sister. Fifty percent shared DNA.
I worried that my grandmother would be upset. That she’d argue with the results or reject them, in turn rejecting Theo and his family. But though tears ran down her wrinkled cheeks, her eyes were filled with wonder. “Oh,” she said, her voice soft, incredulous. “Oh, my.”
“I can’t believe it. I mean, I do, but …
” Theo’s voice caught. “My grandma,” he said, swiping at his eyes.
“I have to tell my grandma. But in person, right? I should—I have to—” For an instant, his expression lit with joy.
But then it darkened. “Ah, shit. My mother…now she’ll really go crazy with this lawsuit.
I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
I went to pull him close, to tell him we would figure it out.
But Grandma Ella got there first. She held him and stroked his hair, rocking him the way she’d rocked me when I was little, and after a moment, his arms came up, returning the embrace.
“Sweetheart, it doesn’t matter. Thank you,” she whispered through her tears. “Thank you both.”
Theo’s eyes met mine, filled with raw, open vulnerability, and it occurred to me that maybe this was the first time a maternal figure had held him this way—to take care of him, to protect him, rather than the other way around. A sob escaped my throat, then another.
The noises from the kitchen ceased, and footsteps pounded down the hall. Chloe appeared in the doorway with Ruth right behind her, her mouth ringed with crumbs and her eyes wide with worry. “Mama?” she said, her eyes roving from me to Theo to Grandma Ella and back again. “What’s the matter?”
I went to her and hugged her tight, small and sturdy and mine. “Nothing, baby,” I told her, holding Theo’s gaze over her shoulder. “Everything’s right.”