53. Theo #2
“I got it for you,” I said, bracing my hands on my knees. “Open it.”
Obediently, she removed the lid—and gasped. “Oh my God,” she said, sounding awed.
“You like it?” My voice was gruff.
“It’s beautiful.” She lifted it out of the box. Even though the angle hid it from view, I knew what she was seeing: a thin sterling silver chain, from which hung a deep blue sapphire, studded with diamonds. “But why...”
“Let me see how it looks on you.” I slid behind her, and she gathered up her hair. That intoxicating coconut-and-vanilla scent wafted up from her skin, and I drew a deep breath, resisting the urge to press my lips to the nape of her neck. My fingers trembled as I struggled to hook the clasp.
“There,” I said when I finally succeeded. “It’s gorgeous.” Like you.
She glanced down at herself doubtfully. “Somehow, I don’t think it was meant to be worn with this coat and my glittery hat.”
“It looks perfect. When I saw it, it reminded me of the color of your eyes. And of the sea.” I gestured at the ocean, where the sun had half-sunk into the waves.
Her hand came up, closing around the sapphire. “That’s a sweet thing to say. But I still don’t understand. This is an expensive gift, Theo. And it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing you get a—friend.”
“Well, that’s the thing.” My heart was beating even more unevenly than before; was it too much to hope she knew CPR? “I think I made a mistake.”
Her eyes, nearly the same color as the sapphire, widened. “What do you mean?”
When I was done talking, maybe she’d rip the pendant from around her neck and fling it at me. But I had to try. “I got you that pendant because it reminds me of the sea, like I said. And you always smell like the ocean to me, like the home I made for myself.”
How was it possible that it was a few degrees above freezing, but I was sweating? I looked at Liv for a clue to how she was taking this, but she just stared at me. In shock? Horror? I couldn’t tell. Bravely or stupidly, I soldiered on.
“If I hadn’t met you, I would’ve missed out on the best part of my life.
You listened to me in the beginning, even when you didn’t want to, and you stuck with our search, even when your family gave you shit about it.
Hell, they threatened to disinherit you, and you still cared more about the truth than your own comfort or Chloe’s college fund.
” Sometimes, I still couldn’t believe how much she’d been willing to risk.
“Because of you, I’ve been writing music again.
Because of you, my grandmother might find out if her sister is still alive.
You made this possible, and I will never forget that. ” I swallowed hard.
“You were right, outside your cousin’s apartment.
My feelings for you scare the hell out of me.
But I’m sick of hiding from the truth.” I looked her dead in the eyes.
“Liv...I love you. I loved you when I walked away in New York, and every day, I fall a little harder. I don’t know anything about loving someone like this, and I’m sure I’ll screw it up.
But if you’ll take a chance on me, I swear I’ll do my best to learn. ”
She gripped the pendant harder, her face white. But it was too late to turn back. “I wanted to tell you this now, so you can see that I want to be with you, no matter what the DNA test says,” I said, scrutinizing her face. “Just give me a reason to stay, and I will.”
I finally ran out of words—and oxygen. I was pretty sure my heart had never beat this fast in my life.
Liv, on the other hand, had turned into a statue.
The wind blew through her hair, ruffling it beneath the glittery hat, and the cold had turned her cheeks bright red. She was still clutching the pendant.
“Are you done?” she said at last.
Mute, I nodded. Now she would tell me to take my declaration of love and shove it. That I’d had my chance and wasted it, that she had no interest in a bastard like me. But at least I’d laid it all on the line. If she walked away now, I’d know I’d done everything I could.
I dropped my head. In the distance, waves crashed against the shore, but the beach was empty. No one else was dumb enough to be outside in this crappy weather. The first romantic gesture I’d ever tried to make, and it was a disaster. Why had I thought I could do this?
Liv slid closer to me. Her hand closed on the back of my neck, warm against the chill. “Theo?”
Bracing myself, I lifted my head.
She was an inch away from me, her eyes trained on my face. “You’re right. You’re awful at this.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I tugged at the cuffs of my jacket to straighten them, wishing my life was as easy to realign.
“What happened to all that ‘I’m only good for a one-night stand’ and ‘Dating isn’t my thing’ crap?” She tilted her head. “Oh, and how could I forget? ‘It was just fucking. Anything else between us is a lousy idea.’”
“I lied about the second part, okay? And as for the first, this terrifies the hell out of me. But I want it, if you do. I want everything with you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Chloe and I are a package deal, Theo. She already has one crappy father figure in her life. I’m not interested in another.”
“I get that, Liv. And I’m far from perfect.
But one thing I’ve learned from all this is that none of us are.
We just do our best, and hope it’ll be enough.
So that’s what I’ll do. I’m sure I’ll fuck up, but I can promise you I won’t run.
I’ll stick, and I’ll try to be a decent role model to your daughter.
I’ll pick her up from school and show her how to make the only dish I know how to cook and go to every basketball game or dance recital or freaking underwater basket-weaving competition she decides to enter.
And if you—if you—” I choked on the words, but somehow managed to get them out.
“If you ever wanted...more...I would be willing to consider it.”
Shock washed over her face. “Who are you and what have you done with Theo?”
“I’m right here,” I told her, starting to get exasperated. “But Jesus Christ, if you don’t want me, just say so.”
Liv bit her lip. “You really hurt me.” Her voice cracked.
I felt like the biggest bastard in the world. “I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”
“And you’re not easy.”
I wanted to make a joke about how quickly she’d gotten me into bed—onto piano?—that first time, but even I knew that wouldn’t go over well. “I know.”
“You’re confusing as hell. And you’ve got the filthiest mouth imaginable.”
I ventured a smile. “I thought you liked my filthy mouth.”
She blinked at me, her eyes shiny with…were those tears? God, I sucked at this. “And you have an inappropriate sense of humor.”
I’d had enough. “Liv, if you’re just going to rake me over the coals, don’t bother. I can do that all by myself, while I’m not freezing my ass off.”
“You’re stubborn,” she went on, like I hadn’t spoken at all. “And infuriating. You think you have to fix everything yourself. And you have the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard in my life.”
Now I was confused. “I thought we were insulting me.”
“It is an insult.” She folded her arms across her chest. “When you talk, especially when you sing, I can’t stay mad at you. All I want to do is ask you to kiss me and do things to me with your filthy mouth.”
Maybe I should have set this little confession to music. “And that’s a problem how?”
“It’s a problem,” she said, choosing each word with care, “because right now, when I should probably be telling you to go to hell, I want to tell you something else entirely.”
My heart had stopped speeding. Now it was thumping slowly, painfully, as if each beat was an effort. “Which would be what?”
She met my eyes. The sunlight glinted off the pendant that hung at the hollow of her throat, looking as exquisite against her pale skin as I’d imagined it would. “I accept your apology. I’ll treasure the necklace. And...I love you, too.”
For a moment I thought I’d heard her wrong. Then I knew I hadn’t. Still, I had to ask. “Are you sure?”
Tears glinting in her eyes, she nodded. “Don’t make me regret it.”
Something bizarre was happening in my chest. My heart wasn’t pounding or thudding. It ached, like it was cracking open. I pressed a hand to it, trying to make sure I wasn’t going to keel over right there in my own backyard.
Liv eyed me, looking dubious. “Are you okay?”
The hell with it. If I died like this, at least I’d go a happy man. “I’m fine,” I said, pulling her close. My arms banded around her back, like if I didn’t hang on to her, she’d disappear. “Just thinking about all the things I’m going to do to you with my filthy mouth, as soon as I get you inside.”
Her laugh traveled from her into me, shaking us both, until I stopped it by sealing my lips over hers.
Her hands tangled in my hair, tugging me closer, and her mouth tasted like chocolate and honey.
I told myself to hold still, to let her lead the way, but when she gave a little moan of pleasure, my resolution went out the window.
My hands came up to cup her face, and I took control of the kiss, deepening it, tasting, stroking.
I wanted her, sure, like I always did. But I also wanted more: to protect her, to spend every day with her, to be the only man who ever made her make that sound again.
It didn’t matter that it was freezing, that I could barely feel the shape of her body beneath her coat, that the twinkly lights had somehow shorted out and ruined my big romantic moment. I didn’t give a shit about any of it. All I cared about was Liv.
Now that I had her back, I never wanted to let her go.