1. Chapter One #2
The man turns his eyes back onto me and I resist the urge to smile. It feels good to win out over Claudia. But this man is dangerous. I just know it.
I keep my ice princess composure. “Did you need something?” I ask.
“Don’t be rude, Lana,” Claudia snaps. “This man is clearly a patron of the arts. He should be shown respect.”
“I just wanted to tell you that I thought you did a beautiful job tonight,” he says, still looking at me.
Claudia smiles brightly. “Thank you.”
“I was telling her. Not you,” he says flatly.
Claudia’s smile instantly disappears.
“Who are you?” I ask the man as he steps away from the wall.
“I am like she said. A patron of the arts.” He gives me a nod before walking away. I can’t help but let out a long, rough breath. Who is that man? I’m not sure I’ll ever find out, unless he comes back to another show. Will he come back? Do I want him to come back?
Claudia smacks my arm. “You don’t deserve the attention of a man like him.”
“You don’t even know him,” I respond cooly.
“How do you know I don’t know him? He could be my boyfriend for all you know.”
“Oh, you mean the countless boyfriends you have? Which one has your attention this week? Sean, the American? Or Fabio, the Italian? Or maybe Dimitri, the Russian?”
Claudia’s cheeks turn the faintest pink. “At least it’s better than your cold, dried up cunt. You’ve never fucked anyone because no man wants you.”
“My father doesn’t want me to date.”
“And you’re such a good girl, aren’t you? Always listening to daddy. You know, if it weren’t for your daddy’s money, you never would have even made it into the troupe to begin with.”
“Camile said I earned it.”
“Camile is paid by your daddy.”
I get closer to her face. “And she was also paid by your daddy. If you’re going to insult me, Claudia, at least have the decency to insult me on something that we don’t have in common.”
She scrunches up her face and storms away. “Ana, let’s go.” Ana is in the middle of removing her fake eyelashes. She jumps to her feet though and follows Claudia out of the room, even though she wasn’t done taking her makeup off.
I sit down at my spot before my mirror. It is the best one in the entire room. My father’s money is influential. Just not influential enough to win me the main character. No. I want to earn that myself. I have made that very clear to him otherwise, he would have paid for it already.
That’s what stings about all of this: Claudia is right.
“Don’t let her bother you,” Maria says, picking up her bag and heading to the door.
“She doesn’t bother me,” I lie.
“If I were you, I’d find that handsome man and fuck him just to piss Claudia off. If I had a man who looked like him telling me I danced beautifully, I’d already have my panties down.”
“Not everyone is a whore like you,” I respond.
Maria huffs. “You really are a bitch sometimes. You know that?”
Once I finish taking my makeup off and changing into my loungewear set, I leave the dressing room behind.
The skin at the back of my neck stands to attention as I walk down the dark, dingy hallway.
These old ballet theaters could use an update.
It’s like something out of the eighteen hundreds instead of the present.
I gasp and look behind me when I hear something… but there’s nothing there. Just a long, dark hallway. That man got under my skin. The mysterious man.
I force my legs to keep moving. The moment I make it outside, I inhale the crisp air. It’s so chilly, it almost stings.
My driver is waiting for me. Ivan. The family driver.
My family couldn’t make it to the show tonight. They only come to the finale and that isn’t happening until next week. My parents think it builds character. If you come to every show, then that doesn’t make anything special.
“Good evening, Miss Karetov.” He opens the back door of the black sedan for me. “How was it this evening?”
“An evening like any other,” I lie. That man made it different. Claudia I can handle. She’s been a thorn in my side for years. But that man…
I glance around the parking lot. The darkness makes everything more eerie.
“Is there something you’re looking for?” Ivan asks. His middle aged face has always given him a warm quality. My father needed someone he could trust to drive his daughters around.
“No,” I say quickly, getting into the car. “I’m not looking for anything.”
But even after Ivan shuts the car door, I can still feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing to attention.
“How was the show tonight?” Elena asks, standing in the doorway to my large bedroom.
Her features so similar to mine, except for her brown hair.
She’s the only one out of us who got it.
I remember being three years old and seeing my father frown when he held Elena for the first time.
Her head was already covered in brown hair when she was a newborn.
“It was like any other night,” I say in a clipped tone.
Adriana brushes past Elena and falls dramatically onto my bed. “It was so boring tonight. Dad didn’t let us do anything.”
“We read as a family in the living room,” Elena explains.
“Ugh.” Adriana’s full body shudder is over dramatic but that’s Adriana for you. “I hate reading. It’s so boring. I don’t know how you even like to write, El. God, I would want to kill myself.”
Elena flushes and dips her chin. Never one for confrontation. Unlike me.
“Don’t be a bitch,” I snap at Adriana. “I know you’re still a teenager but you won’t always be. Show some respect to our sister.”
Adriana sits up with a gasp. “You’re always such a bitch to me. You know that?” She runs out of the room, giving me and Elena some space.
Elena offers me a soft smile. It’s so easy for her. Why isn’t it easy for me? “You could ease off Adriana. You know how she is.”
“I do.” I sit down at my vanity table and start my skincare routine for the night. A ballerina must have beautiful skin. At least, that’s what my mother says. “But she’s still annoying and needs to be put in her place.”
“You seem… extra hard tonight.”
I raise an eyebrow and look at my sister through the mirror. “Hard?”
She shrugs. “Yeah. You know. There’s a hardness to you. Is everything all right?”
I turn around to face her and grab her hand. “You’re the only one who’s nice in this messed up world. Don’t ever change, El.”
“Is being a ballerina so bad?” she whispers. “Father was always disappointed I never became one. I thought it was the pinnacle of perfection.”
“It is. But it’s also hell sometimes. Don’t let anyone else know that. I love being a ballerina. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“Get to bed, Elena,” Mother’s cold tone flows through the air. She stands in the doorway with her long legs and bright blonde hair, looking like a force to be reckoned with. “It’s late.”
Even though Elena is eighteen now, she still has to listen to our mother. Her house, her rules.
“Yes, Mother,” Elena responds obediently. The most obedient of all of us sisters.
Once Elena leaves, Mother approaches me, looking me over with her critical eyes. “How was tonight?”
“Why do you ask? You’ll get the report from Camille tomorrow.
” My dancing instructor and choreographer.
She’s in charge of the ballet this year.
My father paid her to get information on how I’m doing, beyond the typical payment everyone gives to her for their daughters to be trained by the best in all of Russia.
A French dancing instructor is very exotic here.
“I want to hear it from you.” What she wants is to see if my report and Camille’s report line up.
“I did a find enough job.”
“Fine enough is not good enough, Lana. You need to be better. Auditions are happening this week for the next ballet. Swan Lake. You could get the lead. Finally.”
“Claudia will most likely get the lead.”
“Then you need to work harder and be better than her. I want you to have it. But you have insisted on not letting your father pay for it. So you better impress Camille at the audition. I want you to be the lead at least once in your life.”
My mind goes back to that man. Watching me with his intense eyes. I don’t even know his name to ask my father who he is, if my father would even know. I’m just assuming the man is part of something dangerous, like the Bratva, when in reality, he might not have any part of it.
“Of course, Mother,” I say. I pat my face with the three hundred dollar serum I bought on a trip to New York once. I’m almost running out. I’ll have to take another trip to New York just to buy another one.
She grips my shoulders and stares at me through the mirror. “Be better, Lana. Always be better.”
“Yes. I will win the role. I will not let Claudia beat me.”
“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.” She lets me go and leaves the room. I only sigh after she’s gone.
I look at my reflection. My perfect features. So why do I not feel perfect? The ice princess. That’s what I am and that’s what will win me the role of Odette. Not Claudia.
Breakfast with my family is a quiet affair. Elena gently cuts into her omelet while Adriana pouts over hers, since Father took her phone from her. Phones are not allowed at the breakfast table. You’d think she would have learned that by now but every day, she pouts like she’s surprised it happened.
Father sits at one end of the table while Mother sits at the other end. Far away from each other. The coldness is obvious to all of us.
I take the tiniest bites of my food. Father gives me a proud nod. Ballerinas shouldn’t be fat, as he has told me countless times. It always seems to sting more coming from him than my mother. I’m used to her telling me to be better.
“You have your audition today,” Father states, taking a large bite of his breakfast steak.
“Yes. I do.”
“Make me proud, Lana. Win it.”
“That’s what I told her,” Mother chimes in.
Father barely acknowledges her. “Adriana, when are you going to find a hobby? You can’t spend another second on that phone of yours.”
“I don’t know,” Adriana mumbles. At sixteen, she’s the worst. I’m not ashamed to say it.