1. Chapter One #3
He sighs. “And what about you, Elena? What are you working on?”
“She’s going to college right now,” I intercept. “You know that.”
His hand tightens on his fork. “I do. And I don’t appreciate spending all my money so she can get a degree in writing. In poetry of all things. You should have taken up piano. Or ballet like your sister. I don’t know why you were never good enough at it. You just never worked hard enough.”
Elena bows her head lower and blinks, like she’s fighting back tears.
I want to snap at our father for talking to Elena like this. Out of all of us, she’s the sweetest. “Elena is getting an education. Isn’t that a good thing?”
He shrugs. “You will all be married someday to a man of my choosing so an education doesn’t really matter. I just want my daughters to excel at life. Right now, Lana is the only one attempting that.” He sets his cold eyes onto me. “So win that role today.”
The pressure has never felt more intense on my shoulders than in this moment.
I arrive at the dance center full of multiple practice rooms. The sound of feet slapping the floor can be heard throughout the space. Girls chattering. Music softly playing in the background. It’s all a bit loud and chaotic. I grit my teeth to temper myself. I need to win that audition today.
My simple black ensemble will make dancing easy. The hard part will be proving to Camille that I deserve the part of Odette and Odile. The white and black swan.
“Line up, girls,” Camille says, clapping her hands. All of us get into a line. Claudia is right next to me. She bumps her shoulder with mine on purpose. I grit my teeth harder.
“Today I will be holding auditions for Odette and Odile,” Camille says.
“So one after the other will come forward and show me that you deserve the part. I need to see the softness of Odette and the sultriness of Odile if you want to win this role. The most coveted role for any ballerina.” She sits down in a simple folding chair. “Now, let us begin.”
I watch as girl after girl steps forward to do her audition. Some are good enough for the one of the roles but not two. Some of the girls aren’t good enough for either role.
Then there’s Claudia, who waltzes forward and puts on one of the best auditions I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Probably the best audition I have ever seen.
Once she finishes, Camille claps for her. “That was wonderful, Claudia. Lana, you’re next.”
Claudia gives me a smug grin and another purposeful shoulder bump as I walk forward. The music melts away for just a moment. All I can see is Camille. Her long fingers. Her wiry frame. Her critical eyes, about to watch my every move.
I have to make this count.
Taking in a breath, I begin to dance. I spin with perfection. I stand on pointe with perfection. I arabesque with perfection. My lines are fluid and clean. I am the picture perfect person for this role.
Once I’m done, I take a bow. No mistakes. I can be proud of myself for this.
Camille stands up and doesn’t clap. Doesn’t even acknowledge me. Only walks past me towards the door. “I will let you girls know who won the role by tomorrow.”
I frown. Did I do well or not?
Claudia laughs behind me but I ignore her as I follow Camille into the hallway. “How did I do?” I ask.
Camille glances at me with a sigh. “Lana.” I don’t like her tone.
“Well?”
“You were perfection. A great dancer.”
For once, a smile crosses my face. “That’s great.”
“But you have no passion inside of you. You would make a perfect Odette but you need passion to play Odile. You don’t have it inside of you. You’re too… high strung. It would be good if you could let go a little. It would benefit you so much.”
“Let me guess: Claudia has that passion inside of her.”
Camille shrugs. “She does. She always has. Some people are just born with it while others have to work hard at it. I’ve watched you work hard for many years now.
I am proud of you. But you’re missing something, Lana.
You always have. If you want a chance at winning a main role, you need to find that missing something. ”
I blink, feeling like I was just hit with a truck.
Camille hesitates before walking away. I remain standing there as Claudia saunters out and right towards me.
“I overheard everything Camille just told you. Seems your ice princess ways have hurt you.”
Feeling an overwhelming sense of anger, I turn towards Claudia and smack her across the face. She gasps, recoiling.
“What the fuck, bitch?” She slaps me across the face without any hesitation. The other girls crowd around to watch us. Their eagerness for a fight is obvious. Demons, all of them.
Claudia lunges for me but I back away. In her motion, she loses her balance and falls to the floor. And that’s when we all hear the snap.
Claudia’s blood curdling scream is piercing. She clings to her ankle as tears fall down her face. Camille comes running back into the hallway and straight to Claudia.
“Make room,” Camille orders. “Claudia? What happened?”
“That bitch made me fall.” She points right at me. “She did this to me.”
I back up a step. “I did not make Claudia fall. She came for me and fell of her own accord.”
Maria shrugs. “Looks more like sabotage to me.” The other girls murmur their agreement.
I remain standing tall. “This was not my fault.”
“Enough,” Camille snaps. “I need to get Claudia to the hospital. Go home girls. You have to get ready for the show tomorrow night.”
“Lana, you’re Claudia’s understudy,” Ekaterina says quietly to me as Camille helps Claudia up. “Are you ready to take on the lead role tomorrow?”
It’s not Swan Lake but to have a lead role in any ballet is a dream I’ve always had. And I am not going to hesitate to take it.
“I am ready,” I say, not feeling any shame at all.
News of Claudia spreads. A broken ankle. Death to a ballerina.
Honestly, I don’t care. One less person I need to worry about.
I arrive at the show and purposefully take Claudia’s private dressing room.
The other girls notice and I’m sure they’ll comment on it but I don’t care.
Not when this is my chance. My parents and sisters are still not here though.
My father made it clear he’ll only show up for the finale night and that the rest of our family is supposed to follow him.
That’s fine. Claudia won’t be dancing for a long time anyway. I’m her understudy for the rest of the show. My parents will finally get to see me take center stage as the principle ballerina in a ballet.
They’ll finally be proud of me.
As I sit in my private dressing room, full of Claudia’s things from her hairbrush to her expensive makeup, I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand to attention. Turning around, I don’t see anyone. It’s just me in this room.
But it’s the same feeling I felt when that man looked at me. My mysterious, handsome man.
I tell myself to calm down and turn back to the mirror. And that’s when I see someone step out of the shadows. A man.
But not my mystery one. Another man.
And this one has a knife in his hand.