6. Chapter Six
Chapter Six
Lana
Iwait up all night for Nikolai to return.
When he does, I feel my heart beat faster. I sit in his office chair with the paper documents on his desk. I can hear his footsteps moving all around the house until he finds me in here.
The sight of his handsome face entering the office makes my stomach tingle. I can’t help but think of how he touched me earlier but right now, that needs to be the last thing on my mind. I need answers.
“Lana?” His eyes flick down to the papers on the desk. “What is going on? What are you doing in here?”
“You didn’t lock the door to this room. You didn’t lock these papers up in your desk. You made it easy for me to find them.”
“Easy to find my expense reports? It’s just lists of people I’ve paid.”
“For services, I’m assuming.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Yes. For services. That’s usually how that goes.”
I slide the paper with Lev’s name and the date of Claudia’s death towards him. “And this? What service did you pay Lev for with this?”
“What exactly are you asking me?”
“You said you didn’t kill Claudia. Fine. But you had Lev kill her, didn’t you? Just tell me. I can handle it.”
“The less you know, the better.”
I jump to my feet. “The less I know, the better? If you’re behind the death of Claudia, I need to know.”
“Why is that something you need to know?” His calmness is going to drive me insane.
“Because I am married to a man who played a part in her death.”
“I didn’t kill her.”
“But you hired Lev to do it. That much is obvious. Just tell me. Please. I need to know.”
“Lana, right now, you have plausible deniability when it comes to me. We should keep it like that. For your sake. I would hate for you to go to jail for anything I’ve done.”
I suck in a breath. “So, you are saying that you played a part in her death.”
“I am saying that you shouldn’t be asking these sorts of questions. You shouldn’t be digging. Claudia’s death benefited you, did it not? You got the chance to play the lead role for once in your life. If anything happened, it happened for you.”
My chest feels like it’s going to squeeze so hard, I’ll die any moment. “You did this for me? You got rid of my competition for me?”
“I’m not saying that.”
“But you are.”
He chuckles. “What I am saying is that I’ll do anything to protect you. If you want the lead role, I’ll give that to you.”
I’m not sure if I should be horrified or flattered that Nikolai would go to such great lengths to help me secure my dream. Right now, I think it’s more close to horror.
“What about Ana and Maria?”
“What about them? They’re annoying girls who should mind their own business.”
“Maria got the lead role in Swan Lake and Ana is her understudy. Are you going to have them killed too?”
He walks closer to me until he gently places his hands on my shoulders. “That would look suspicious, wouldn’t it? I would be more inclined to remind your dance instructor to hold another audition and reconsider who should get the lead role.”
“Are you going to threaten Camille? She’s been nothing but nice to me.”
“She keeps taking the success you deserve away. Is that truly nice?”
“I…” He’s not wrong. Sometimes I get frustrated by Camille and all of her talk of passion. But I also know deep down that she’s right. I hold myself too rigid sometimes.
“I want to earn my success myself.”
“All right.” He places his fingers under my chin, tilting my head up. “You can earn it. When your dance instructor is fair. Now, you look tired. Have you stayed up all night while I was gone?”
“Yes.”
“You should rest. It’s almost morning. You have dance rehearsal in a few hours. If you want to impress Camille, you need to be in tip-top shape.” He plants a soft, quick kiss to my lips before pulling back and settling behind his desk.
I only stare at him for a long moment before I leave the room. What is Nikolai planning exactly? I just feel like it can’t be good.
I am tired when I go to rehearsal for Swan Lake. Only getting three hours of sleep is not enough when you’re a dancer.
It’s my first day back after I got married and I can feel the air in the room shift the moment I enter. All the ballerinas stop chattering the second they see me.
“We heard you got married,” Ekaterina says. “I would say congratulations but none of us were invited.”
“That didn’t stop Ana and Maria from showing up,” I say. “Just to ruin my wedding dress.”
Ana smirks. “You had it coming.”
I set my bag down hard on the ground, causing a loud sound to go through the air. Ana flinches for just a second. Good. Let her be afraid of who I am. Of who my husband is.
And to think I pretty much asked him to not kill her. Maybe I need to reconsider that.
Ana is seated on the floor as I walk over to her.
“Did you think ruining my dress was going to ruin my wedding?” I ask.
She blinks up at me, acting all innocent. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I am married to a powerful man. Nikolai Smirnoff.”
She scrunches up her nose. “Who?”
“A man you don’t want to mess with, Ana. So leave me alone.”
“It doesn’t matter what you do since you’re just a backup dancer. Me and Maria are the leads.”
“You’re the understudy. Maria is the lead.”
Ana flushes as a few of the other ballerinas snicker at her. “And you’re a bitch. You made Claudia fall and get hurt. If she hadn’t been hurt, she never would have needed surgery and then she would still be here. Still alive.”
I don’t let myself feel any guilt for Claudia’s death even though Nikolai practically confirmed it for me last night without actually confirming it.
“Girls, enough,” Camille says, entering the studio. “We have a lot of things to practice today. Mainly…” She sighs. “We’re going to have auditions again for Swan Lake.”
All the girls jump to their feet.
“Auditions?” Maria asks. “What are you talking about?”
Camille’s eyes flick to mine and quickly away. “It’s just not working… the way it’s been going. We’re going to have auditions again.”
“So are you saying I might not get to be Odette and Odile?” Maria stumbles back. “But I earned this role. You can’t take it from me.”
“It’s just not working,” Camille repeats. “So we’re going to have auditions again. Today. I’ll give you a few hours to prepare. I expect great things from you girls.” She glances at me one more time before leaving the studio.
I know exactly why we’re having auditions again. Nikolai. He spoke to Camille. Probably threatened her.
The good thing would be to ask Camille if she’s all right.
I could tell her that she doesn’t need to do this.
But the truth of the matter is: I want another chance at my audition.
I’m a married woman now. Yes, I’m still a virgin but I have been through more in these past twenty-four hours than I’ve been in my entire life.
Surely I can channel that into my dance.
“Are you going to be a stuck up, rigid dancer again?” Ana mocks. “You’re a pathetic virgin.”
“She’s married,” Ekaterina says. “She’s not a virgin.”
I don’t show anything on my face. The last thing that can happen is for these girls to know that I haven’t had sex with my husband yet. That would only add fuel to the fire.
“You’re not going to win that role,” Ana warns. “I’m going to win it.”
“Hey,” Maria says. “I already won it. It’s not fair that I could lose it.”
“If Camille doesn’t think you’re good enough, that’s on her,” I lie. And I don’t feel an ounce of regret saying it.
Camille returns later after we’ve all had time to stretch and get ready. “One after the other. Ana, you’re first.”
Ana bumps my shoulder as she walks by and takes her place in the center of the room.
I watch as she dances with a beauty that’s almost delicate.
A slight amount of passion. Not nearly enough like Claudia though.
I have to admit, now that Claudia is dead, she was a great dancer.
She did deserve the lead role and she would have won Swan Lake if she was still alive.
“Lana,” Camille says after Ana is done. “You’re turn.” She doesn’t look me in the eye as I step forward. That just tells me that Nikolai did in fact speak with her.
I let that annoyance and anger filter through my body as I perform. I dance in a way I never have before. Camille’s eyes widen as she watches me. Did she not expect this from me? Probably not and that only spurs me on more.
I dance like I’m going to die. I deserve to earn something of my own accord; not to have the men in my life choose that for me.
My steps get faster and faster. My spins sharper and sharper. My breathing controlled and steady. I am in the zone. Even if Nikolai convinced Camille to hold auditions again, I’m still going to prove why I deserve to play the lead.
I end with a bow.
Camille blinks before she stands up, clapping. It’s something she only ever did for Claudia. “I’m impressed, Lana. I really am.”
“Thank you,” I breathe out. The problem is: I don’t know if I can truly believe her. Does she think I did a great job or is she only saying this because Nikolai said something to her?
Ana glares at me for the rest of the day.
When I return home to Nikolai’s house, I find it empty. He must be at work. With Lev. Horrible Lev. I know Lev called Nikolai on my wedding night just to hurt me. To take Nikolai away from me.
With nothing to do, I find the large ballroom inside the mansion. It’s decorated in herringbone floor with mirrors on one side of the room. A chandelier hangs overhead, sparkling up the ballroom. It’s an old-style place. It speaks to Nikolai’s money and his old-fashioned way of doing things.
I slip my pointe shoes back on and begin to dance. I need to forget about today. Need to forget about Nikolai trying to control my life.
I need to dance, dance, dance.
My body spins faster and faster. My heart is beating like a warrior drum. The blood is rushing in my ears.
Why does Nikolai want me to succeed so much? Why can’t he understand I want to do this on my own? Why can’t I just be a better dancer to begin with?